Welcome to the most comprehensive guide you can find telling you in clear, concise steps how exactly to accomplish your goal—failing to ask your crush to prom.

Camden Co. is honoured to have established couple Yuu Kanda and Allen Walker as our main characters of this guide. -Applause- They will be providing us with examples regarding today's topic, taken with kind permission from Mr. Walker and -ahem- Mr. Kanda, from their own personal experience at unsuccessful prom invitations.

We here at Camden Co. sincerely wish that you find this guide useful. In any case, your feedback is greatly appreciated, and can be appropriated through the following channels:

(a)Reviews and
(b)PMs

Rest assured that we will take your suggestions seriously and get back to you ASAP in the event that you have any queries.

The author would also like to dedicate this chapter to her beloved twin Hayden, and the author's darling shoulder partner in school, for helping her break the boring monotony of life.

Part I: The Development of an Attitude Problem
In other words, look angry, unfriendly, bad-tempered, pissed off etc.

The idea is to use any and all techniques you know to make yourself appear seem intimidating, aggressive and fierce.

This will serve to make you less approachable and decrease chances of your crush's positive response to your invitation, bringing you one step closer to your goal.

Some techniques used by Kanda in the following excerpt are:

(i)glaring
(ii)frowning
(iii)stomping and
(iv)*tossing his hair

*Note: Please do not attempt option (iv) if you do not have long, flowing hair. Using option (iv) in such circumstances would only make you seem idiotic, gay, or like you have a neck cramp.

You know you have succeeded at this step when your crush starts displaying signs of uneasiness, as demonstrated by Mr. Walker in the excerpt below.

Attempt Number 1: On the way to the cafeteria

The sounds of angry footsteps echoed in the otherwise silent hallway. Allen paused on his way to the cafeteria, knowing at once that Yuu Kanda, the famously bad-tempered exorcist, was approaching.

He sighed, turning around just in time to see Kanda appear around the corner, glaring holes into a crumpled piece of bright pink paper clenched in his fist.

Allen blinked in surprise. So, Kanda received the invitation too.

Letting out a faint giggle, Allen wondered about the condition of the unfortunate soul who was assigned to this delivery, feeling a little guilty at finding joy out of another's misery.

Kanda's head snapped up, finally noticing the snow-haired boy trying desperately to stifle signs of his amusement.

He narrowed his gaze, beginning one of his famous death glares, simultaneously reaching for the katana resting on his right hip. "Shut the fuck up, idiot Moyashi!" He hated when people laughed at him.

Kanda cursed under his breath, glowering furiously at Allen. Why couldn't everyone just shut up about the bloody invitation?! He wouldn't even be asking the stupid Moyashi if Komui didn't make it compulsory for him to attend the fucktarded ball with a date.

How such a teeny brat with pathetically short legs could skip so fast was forever going to be a mystery to him. Kanda paused, hiding his shortness of breath. Moyashi was most probably going to the cafeteria for lunch, judging by the way he absently rubbed his stomach.

The dance committee was foolish enough, in their own way. Everybody knew that Kanda had anti-social tendencies, in addition to his violent streak. He wouldn't attend such a 'fucktarded' event even if he received ten thousand invitations. Except maybe to severely mutilate those who forced him to attend.

Even worse, it was a masquerade ball. You needed costumes. Kanda would rather drop dead than wear that idiotic Prince Charming suit Komui got for him.

Seeing Allen in it, however, was an entirely different matter. He and Lenalee were the only ones Kanda could stand for five hours straight without pulling his hair out in frustration.

Lenalee was, undoubtedly, going with her darling nii-san, which left no one but the sprout.

It was okay, he supposed. Arguing with the brat would probably help him pass the time, and at least enjoy the evening marginally.

Inwardly, he thanked the heavens for Allen's lack of a sense of direction. He took a much longer time than strictly needed to actually reach the cafeteria from his room.

Normally, Kanda would be irritated. He didn't like wasting his time. However in this case, it was a good thing. It allowed Kanda much more time with Allen in private, giving him a chance to ask him out to the Black Order's Annual Prom Night.

"Oi, Moyashi!" Kanda called, flipping his untied cascade of dark, silky hair over his shoulder. He frowned; leaving his hair like that was annoying.

Reaching for the hair tie he wore habitually around his left wrist, he stopped in the midst of gathering his hair into its usual high ponytail. He looked up, only to find that...

The stupid bean was laughing. At him. He hated being laughed at.

Feeling the angry aura around him intensify a few degrees, Kanda let his hair fall around his shoulders, shadowing his regal features.

Allen felt the air chilling and repressed a shiver, mirth hurriedly tamped down. Damn, Kanda was really scary when he did that. "Y-yes?"

"Do NOT, laugh at me. Ever."

"I'm sorry, Kanda, its just that… your hair…"

He knew it. It was always because of his hair. He wished everyone would just quit bugging him about it already; it was seriously pissing him off.

"Well, what about my hair? And don't say its girly and I should cut it." Kanda threatened, aura swirling malevolently around him.

Allen was totally and utterly intimidated. "Umm… Well, you see…"

Oh crap. He was well and truly boxed in. he couldn't possibly say that he thought Kanda looked rather feminine with his hair down, but there was no other feasible reason to explain why the image of Kanda putting his hair up made him laugh.

Desperately, he sidestepped the prickly question, asking Kanda a question of his own. "What is it you wanted to find me for?!"

Oh yeah. He nearly forgot. He was supposed to ask Allen to go to the dance with him. Right.

Kanda's right hand instinctively moved to rest on Mugen's hilt, as if an unconscious gesture of support from his body to his brain. The frown on his face probably didn't help matters.

Though the Japanese swordsman meant no harm, Allen had seen him sharpening his sword on Lavi one time too many to not be bothered, and over such insignificant matters like being called Yuu-chan, no less. He tensed in response, preparing to run for his life.

Kanda was such an uptight asshole. It was so unfair that no-one was allowed to call him anything but Kanda, whereas he got away with calling Allen a bean sprout and Lavi a rabbit! After all, you didn't see him or Lavi using their respective weapons on Kanda for such trivial matters, right?

Still, he wasn't going to complain. Allen had taken more than his fair share of beatings throughout his fifteen years, and he was definitely not sticking around for more. Leave the masochism to Lavi…

Kanda's left hand curled over his right, unsheathing the gleaming blade a few centimeters. Mugen's cool weight in his palm was soothing, and it lent him courage. He took a deep breath…

"UhMoyashiwouldyougototheballwithme?!" The words left his mouth in an unintelligible rush. He looked up, only to be greeted by an empty corridor.

Apparently, Allen ran away. Just when he finally swallowed his pride and summoned his courage. What perfect timing.

Bloody fuck. He was so going to kill the idiot bean.

Camden Co. would like to express its gratitude to Katsura Hoshino © -Man for use of her characters.

Thank you for staying with us till here, and choosing this guide. We hope you find its contents useful and applicable to your own situation.

Please continue to make Camden Co. your choice for more exclusive tips on How not to ask your crush to prom, coming soon whenever reality (and teachers) gives this poor author a break.

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