TITLE: Home
PAIRING: LavixKanda
GENRES: Angst/Romance/Drama
CONTAINS: Angst *duh*, boys kissing.
RATED T: For limited cussing.
NOTES: MistressKanda was like "I want to draw Kanda clutching Lavi's scarf." And I was like, "Oh can I write a story to that?!" And she said yes. So uhm, there's where the general idea came from. The title and one of general themes of this piece are inspired by "Home" by Daughtry. I have mixed feelings about this piece. And I worry that Kanda might be OOC.
Yuu Kanda could not figure out why he still insisted on sleeping in the stupid rabbit's room. It had been two weeks since Lavi (and the rest of his fleet, but they were unimportant to Kanda) had been pronounced dad. And another week since he had even seen the rabbit. Perhaps there was a part of him that cared. No, there wasn't. That was ridiculous. Kanda had no emotions. He was as stoic as a statue. Emotions only made the war harder. They made it painful. So why did he feel so shocked and hurt that Lavi had died?
Because Kanda didn't care, but Yuu did. Lavi's Yuu.
Maybe that explained how he ended up in the situation he had found himself in. His thin frame laying facing the window, knees bent. Fingers clutching a familiar piece of long, orange fabric. Orange that had only been a few shades lighter than Lavi's hair. And the scarf still smelt like Lavi. A distinctive scent of cinnamon, old books and just Lavi. It was all he could do to keep himself together because Kanda didn't cry.
Lavi was just a Bookman, another stupid person and a baka-usagi. The nights spent curled in a chair, being read to as he fell asleep, the nights tangled beneath damp sheets and the times just being together meant nothing. Except that was a lie because they meant everything. Lavi had become everything. Kanda wasn't sure how, but the stupid rabbit had managed to burrow into the heart that he tried so hard to keep everybody away from. And, damn it, he missed Lavi.
"What are you doing, baka-usagi?" came the harsh words of Kanda as Lavi wrapped the thick, orange fabric around his neck. The orange stuck out brighter among the locks of raven black hair than it had with Lavi's darker orange hair and black headband. The Japanese male thought it looked absolutely ridiculous on him. Only Lavi could manage to wear the mismatched scarf and have it look decent. He'd never admit that out loud though. "Why are you giving this to me?"
The redhead shrugged, the smile on his face never reaching that lone emerald eye. "Keep it until I get back," he whispered as he leaned forward and pressed his lips quickly against Kanda's. When he pulled away, his stare was fixated on the other, eye shimmering with some emotion Kanda, with his lack of emotional knowledge, couldn't place. "That way a part of me here with you when I'm gone."
Those words should have made him feel better. They didn't. With Lavi being dead, the scarf was just a sickeningly sweet reminder of what he lost, of who he lost. But he couldn't manage to pry his fingers away from it, as if part of it still held Lavi.
It was every reason he should have never gotten attached all in one scarf. It was love, comfort, security and home. All the things Lavi had given to him. All the things that he had ripped out from underneath him once again. And he could gut himself for allowing that rabbit to make him fall. If Lavi wasn't dead, then Kanda would have killed him himself. For making him feel this way, for making him fall in love.
But the anger melted just as fast as it came into loneliness. Loneliness that Kanda wouldn't admit he had been feeling ever since that day when Komui regretfully told them that there was very little chance that the Exorcist would be coming back alive. He wondered if there was an Akuma out there in Lavi's skin. Would he be able to kill a monster in the body of the boy whom he had fallen for? His heart wrenched at the thought. Damn that rabbit for causing all this, for going and getting himself killed, for…
The door pushed open, pulling Kanda away from his thoughts, though he had no energy to turn and see who it was. His brain assumed it was Lenalee. She had been coming to check on him frequently, the only one not oblivious to how he was feeling. Everybody else was met with the same usual scowls, the same threats, anything to keep the walls he had built up from crumbling further. There was the strange sound of shuffling, different from the clack of Lenalee's shoes. The movements were slow. Perhaps it was Tiedoll. The man had been acting more concerned than usual as of late.
Whoever it was crashed onto the bed, coughing as s/he fell. Arms wrapped around him and pulled him close. The embrace was familiar, and a hand rested on top of his which was still clutching the scarf. He looked down at the hand on top of his. It was bandaged, at least two fingers were broken.
"I'm…home, Yuu," the person's voice called out, and Kanda didn't want to believe it. It sounded like Lavi, so much like that redhead that Kanda could swear it was. But that couldn't be because Lavi was dead. He had been dead for two weeks. It didn't stop the Exorcist from forcing himself to roll over and see who it was, if it was…It was.
Laying there, inches away, was Lavi, and Kanda didn't know how. But it was. And all logic aside, ignoring the fact that it could have been an Akuma because one wouldn't be so loving, the Japanese male clung to Lavi as if he was going to disappear at any second. The redhead winced a bit but wrapped his arms around Kanda anyway. And it was as though the two weeks of thinking that Lavi had been dead had disappeared because Lavi was right there. And he was safe and alive and…
"I'm home, Yuu-chan," Lavi choked, pressing his bandaged forehead against Kanda's lovingly, tears trailing down his cheek. He ran his thumb across the other's cheek, wiping away the tears that had started to fall despite Kanda trying his hardest not to cry. "I…missed you…I love you."
Kanda shook his head, burying his face in the crook of Lavi's neck, taking in his scent once more. It was too much to take in at once, and he was just so happy to have Lavi home. It was the only thing that mattered. Everything else could come later.
Clinging Lavi just a little more, the scarf still in one of his hands, he choked out in a whisper, "Welcome home, baka-usagi."
ENDING NOTES: MistressKanda, after reading "Erase," told me that I wasn't allowed to kill Lavi anymore. So yay, he's not dead! Hope you guys enjoyed this. O.o Hope you're not crying... :D Reviews please?