NOTE: THE FOLLOWING SORT OF SCENARIO REGULARLY OCCURS AT MY HOUSE. THIS IS NOT MADE UP!!!
*Another Note: If you didn't know, I have four younger sisters, all of whom appear in this disclaimer*
Kat23a is standing in her living room, which is (as usual) covered in dolls, magazines, various pillows, books, ninja cows (my sisters invented them), half-eaten cookies, newspaper, and various family members. She is facing her youngest sister, Greta, who is sitting on the couch holding the remote control, but aiming it at Kat23a instead of the TV. Kat23a seems to be acting, dancing, and...singing?
Kat23a: Hark how the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say-
Greta: *pointing remote at Kat* BZZT!
Kat23a: WINNIE THE POOH! WINNIE THE POOH! CHUBBY LITTLE-
Greta: BZZT!
Kat23a: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny-
Greta: BZZT!
Kat23a: ELECTRO-MAGNETO-ENCEPHALO-THINGIE! AND IT CAN BE YOURS FOR ONLY-
Hanna: *walking into the room and observing Kat* BZZT!
Kat23a: *turning to Hanna* The Helicopter Noogie of DOOM! *begins chasing her*
Greta: *throws down remote and attaches herself to Kat's right leg, squealing in joy*
Ellie: *walks into the room, sees what is happening, and attaches herself to Kat's left leg* YESS! PILE ON KAT!
Kat23a: NOOOO! I CAN'T MOOOOVE! *tries ineffectually to move her legs. Hanna observes this, and swaggers (yes, swaggers. My sister is EEEEVIIIIL!) back to Kat23a, smiling at Ellie and Greta*
Hanna: Good work, my minions. Now, this one must relearn her place in this house....she must be TICKLED!
Kat23a: *is REALLY ticklish* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *tries to jump away with two sisters attached to her legs. Hanna attacks, and as the ensuing sounds of pandemonium begin to drift towards the audience, Heidi, Hanna's good (though slightly ditzy) twin sister, walks in and stands in front of the screen*
Heidi: I, like, want to say that Kat, like, doesn't own any Invader Zim stuff, even though I have, like, NO idea why she, like, watches such an /immature/ baby show, since I'm, like, younger than her, and I, like, would /never/ be caught dead watching a cartoon, but, like, anyway, don't sue her and stuff.
Kat23a, Hanna, Ellie, and Greta have all stopped in the middle of the mosh-wrestle party on the floor and are staring at Heidi.
Hanna: Um, Heidi? /WHY/ are you talking to the fireplace?
-- ~ --
A Christmas Carol: The DOOMED version
The scene was Christmas Eve. Zim was on his way home from a necessary trip to the store. He was covered in over twelve layers of clothes (three of them heavy coats), even though it was only cold enough to have the lightest layer of snow on the ground. He resembled nothing so much as a fat stick of bologna as he waddled back towards his house. On his way, he waddled past Zita and Aki playing on an icy playground. Because it was so close to Christmas, Zita decided to actually do something somewhat approaching /nice/ to Zim.
Zita: Hey! Merry Christmas, Zim!
Zim simply growled at her as he hurried past the two. Softly, they could hear him muttering something about "Idiot snow fleas" and their "pathetic holidays".
Aki looked at Zita and said, "Boy, what a grinch."
Zita glared after Zim and replied, "Yeah, see if I ever do anything nice for /him/ again."
Zim continued to growl and grumble to himself as he made his way back. He had only gone out when it was absolutely necessary ever since this stinging white stuff had started falling from the sky. It seemed to be similar to rain, but instead of just disappearing after a day or two, this stuff /stayed/. He had been able to get further on his experiments, but he could not do any crucial observances on the human race ever since skool had closed last week. In fact, he could not make /any/ progress on the invasion as long as this white stuff was around. He was sorry to admit it, but he almost wished skool was back in session. At least then he would have something to /do/ besides remain stuck in his base all day with Gir. Zim had been getting edgier and edgier lately, and he had been taking it out on the poor robot. And then this /holiday/ stuff had started popping up....Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Years, Happy Birthday (he didn't know much about Earth holidays, and had seen a birthday party). THAT was just the klifurn on the frumz. He just couldn't wait for all this human nonsense to be over with.
Zim sighed. As he walked in the dimming light of the sunset, he glanced in the windows of houses he passed. In one house, a dark-skinned human family lit black, red, and green candles while smiling. In another, a type of beautiful golden candleholder, this one with more candles, was lit by a beaming brown-haired girl as her parents looked on. In another, small children put stockings up near a roaring fireplace. (A/N: I KNOW I have the dates wrong for all the various holidays, but I choose to ignore that. My universe, my rules. ^_^) Zim snorted and looked away. What was it with these pyromaniac monkeys and all their candles and lights and fires anyway? He started walking past yet another house, then stopped. This house belonged to the Dib-human. Dib hadn't been bothering him as much lately. Surely /DIB/ couldn't have fallen for the ridiculous stink-baby holiday scheme.....right? Zim decided to see for himself. He snuck up to the closest window of Dib's house, carefully avoiding all larger patches of snow. Inside, he could make out Dib standing on a rickety stepladder while trying to put a Professor Membrane- angel at the very top of a decorated tree. Near the bottom of the tree, Gaz was playing her Gameslave with one hand and shaking a box with her name on it with the other hand, trying to figure out what was in it. Zim snorted. Pitiful stinking humans. He quickly continued on his way before either of the two noticed him. Of /course/ Dib fell for the inferior human holiday scheme. A worm-baby like Dib probably couldn't even /live/ without some pathetic holiday. The great ZIM, however, was an Irken Invader, and Irken Invaders needed NOTHING, especially not some stinking human holiday. This in mind, Zim continued to march...er.../waddle/ back to his nice, warm, DRY base.
He finally arrived at his house. The only sign that this house even acknowledged the holidays was decaying brownish wreath that Zim had dug out of a garbage can and tacked on the door, in an attempt to seem like he was doing some human celebrating for the holidays. He waddled up the path to the door. As he approached the door, the sign on it that said "men" and had the men's stick figure on it slowly changed to say "doom", and the figure appeared to now be a silhouette of the head of a chihuahua... If Zim had noticed this, he would have most likely freaked out, but he was so bundled up that he could not see more than a strip at a time, and he definitely could not turn his head or lift it up to see the changed door. Zim simply slammed his way into the house and began stripping off layers of clothes. As he reached the last layer, he looked up and said, "Computer, dryer."
A long tube descended out of the ceiling and began to blast hot air at Zim, erasing any last traces of water that might be clinging to him. As the tube finished and began retreating back into the ceiling, a loud screaming sound could be heard from the toilet in the kitchen. The sound grew louder and louder, and finally revealed itself to be a screaming Gir, who blasted out of the toilet and directly towards Zim's face.
"YAAAAY! MASTER'S HOOOME!"
"Gir, NO!"
Gir tackled Zim to the ground and began screeching and hugging him. Zim, predictably, began yelling and rolling around, trying to throw off the insane robot. Gir suddenly sat up from his place on Zim's back and smiled down at Zim.
"HAPPY NEW CHRISTMIHANUKKWANZA, MASTER!!!," he said. "I got choo a PRESENT!!! Wait here!"
Zim gasped as Gir got off of him and he began to get up. He had no sooner stood than Gir jumped on him again, knocking him to the floor. Zim yelled and sputtered, and looked up just in time to have Gir shove a disgusting bowl of.../something/...in his face. Or more precisely, ON his face.
Zim began to smoke and yelled "AAAAAAAAAAAAA! THE STINK!!! IT /BURNS/!!!!!"
Zim knocked Gir off him in his desperate attempt to get the...the...whatever-it-was off his smoking face. He finally dove into the pile of clothes in front of the door and wiped his face off with them. When he had stopped smoking, he whirled on Gir, who was still holding the bowl and smiling.
"Aaaaaaw, you liked it!," Gir crooned happily.
Zim's eye twitched as he faced Gir.
"Gir...what was that?"
"A special treat, Master! I made it for yooooou! It had all your favorite things in it! Tuna, and piggies, and brainfreezys, and cleansing chalk, and pudding, and sugar, and pancakes, and Acne Blast, and-"
Zim suddenly interrupted by screaming, "THOSE ARE /NOT/ MY FAVORITE THINGS!"
Gir looked stunned, and his antenna drooped.
"Don't you like it, Master?"
Zim towered over Gir, and began yelling directly at the little robot.
"NO, I did NOT like it, Gir! And what's more, I HATE these PATHETIC, FREAKISH, HUMAN WORM-BABY holidays! I cannot get any further in the invasion with all this human INSANITY going on, and even if there WERE no holidays, I wouldn't get any farther because of YOU, Gir! In fact, I think I would be doing MUCH better if YOU WEREN'T HERE AT ALL!"
By the end of Zim's tongue-lashing, Gir was cowering on the floor, and his cyan-blue eyes were filling up with tears. Zim, still angry, ignored this and marched past Gir towards the toilet. As he reached it, he turned to the little robot and said, "I'm going down to the lab for the night. PLEASE don't follow me."
Then, without another word, Zim descended to the lower levels.
Gir stared in the direction Zim had gone for several more moments, still looking stunned, and then said slowly, "Master...master doesn't want me anymore?"
The tears in his eyes spilled over.
After a minute or two, Gir reached into his head and pulled out a rubber piggy. He looked at the piggy for a second, and then hugged it tightly. Then, he held it away again and said, "C'mon, pig. If master doesn't want us anymore, then we have to go away."
Outside, the first flakes of a blizzard began to fall.
~ --
Below, in the labs, Zim went through a routine check of all the levels on his way to bed. He did it just to cool down as much as for security. How could that idiot robot even /think/ of celebrating the evil inferior monkey holidays? And making that disgusting concoction...Zim shuddered. Amazing that he hadn't gotten another monstrous pimple from that goop. In fact, it was amazing that-
A creaking groan came from somewhere behind Zim.
Zim whirled around immediately.
"Who's there?"
No answer. Maybe the Dib-human had seen Zim look into Dib's window and had followed him here. Zim brought the night-vision/telescope goggles out of his backpack and peered into the shadows. He still couldn't see anything.
"Computer, run a scan for any unauthorized lifeforms in the labs," Zim ordered.
Within two seconds, a deep voice replied, "No unauthorized lifeforms detected."
"Hmmmm...," Zim said thoughtfully. Probably just his imagination. He continued his rounds.
A few minutes later, a faint sound like toenails clicking on metal could be heard behind him. Zim whirled around again, goggles still on. Nothing.
"Computer, run another scan."
"No unauthorized lifeforms detected."
"Hmm...maybe the scanner's broken...Computer, run a diagnostic on the scanning equipment."
"All equipment is in perfect working order."
Zim looked worried. If it wasn't the equipment, then what could it be? Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a shadow move. He turned quickly, but could see nothing. He began hyperventilating. There was another click behind him. Turn! Nothing. Uh...maybe he should just go to bed. Yeah, bed sounded good. The equipment was fine. Zim hurried off to his sleeping chamber, ignoring several other clicks, groans, and flitting shadows on his way.
In his chamber, Zim settled down onto the soft cushions as the room darkened. Everything seemed much more /real/ here. Those clicks and groans were probably just his imagination. He had been under a lot a stress lately, and stress does strange things to any mind.... Zim's eyes began to close peacefully, then paused. It was getting chilly. Strange...the base was entirely temperature-controlled based on Zim's body heat... Zim opened his eyes in annoyance. Did he have to /manually/ change the temperature? And just when he was getting comfortable.
"Computer, lights," Zim said.
"Lights on," the computer replied, but the room stayed dark.
"Computer, I /said/ lights."
"Lights already activated."
Zim sat up in the darkened room, annoyed.
"Computer, there are no lights here. Activate visual sensors."
"Visual sensors see no lights. Lights activated."
The room remained dark. Zim sighed. Something must be broken. Now he would have to get up and....and....
A soft blue glow came from the corner of the room. Zim stared at it. Normal Irken lighting was red or yellow...this was not from any of his systems. As Zim watched, the light grew brighter, and then a transparent blue figure floated through the wall. It looked like a ragged chihuahua with a row of stitches over one eye, covered in chains.
Zim stared at it, his mouth hanging open.
The chihuahua floated eerily.
Zim stared at it, his mouth hanging open.
The chihuahua floated eerily.
Zim stared at it, his mouth hanging open.
The chihuahua floated some more.
Zim closed his mouth and stared at the chihuahua.
The chihuahua floated.
Zim stared.
Chihuahua floated.
Zim stared, scratching his head.
The chihuahua floated some more, and then turned to the screen. It reached behind it, and then held up a sign that said, "Hey, author! I'm a dog. I can't talk."
A mysterious voice came from the ceiling, saying, "I grant you the power of speech for one night."
The chihuahua turned back to Zim, and cleared its throat with a strange choking sound. Then, in an eerily high scratchy voice, it said, "Invader Zim!"
Zim stared at it some more, and then cautiously said, "Yeees?"
The chihuahua again said, "Invader Zim!"
"Yes, that's me."
A third time, the chihuahua said, "Invader Zim!"
Zim, now annoyed, said, "What?!"
"Invader Zim, I am no ordinary dog!"
Zim looked at the transparent glowing blue chihuahua, covered in chains and turning a slow somersault about four feet off the ground.
"Oh, really? I hadn't noticed."
Sarcasm was lost on the chihuahua, and it continued.
"No! In fact, I am a GHOOOOOOST! I have been sent to give you a message from beyond the GRAAAAAAAVE!"
Zim smiled nastily and said, "I don't believe I need any messages at the moment. Computer! Intruder Alert!"
Alarms went off and lights began flashing. Robotic arms descended from the ceiling and began to gnash together threateningly. This went on for several minutes, but then the arms stopped and the lights and alarms went off. The computer's voice came back on.
"Require further information on enemy's location."
Zim looked surprised and indignant.
"What?! Computer, it is /right there/! A dog, /right there/! Activate visual scanners!"
"Scanners report Invader Zim only lifeform in the room. Should we run a mental health diagnostic?"
Zim, outraged, shouted, "NO!"
The chihuahua, still floating creepily, said, "Nobody else can see me, Zim. Only you. I have been sent to show you the true meaning of the holidays."
Zim turned on the chihuahua and yelled, "WHY would anyone send me an Earth ghost to show me the true meaning of some ridiculous Earth holidays?! I'm not even /from/ Earth!"
The chihuahua shrugged and said, "It's actually a pretty common occurrence, around here. Anyway, tonight, you will be visited by three-"
The voice from the ceiling whispered, "Four."
The chihuahua looked up and said, "Four? It's usually three..."
The voice replied, "Just trust me. Four."
The chihuahua shrugged again and said, "/Four/ spirits, from the past, present, and future. A new one will arrive each hour, on the hour. Pay attention to them, for they are your last hope..."
The chihuahua began to fade, along with the sound of his voice.
"Your last hope..."
Zim stared as the blue light faded and then went out, leaving blackness and silence. He then settled back into the cushions, wondering if maybe that goop that Gir had smeared onto his face /had/ done something to him....
Somewhere above, a little green puppy walked out into the rising storm.
-- ~ --
Ooookay, I'm going to leave the other story I'm working on (The Puppet Game) alone for a while, because this is more fun and seasonal, and because I'm suffering writer's block on The Puppet Game. I'm going to try to get this whole thing finished ASAP, but I have to write it on the only computer left in a house with six other people who want to use it, so it might be slow going. I hope you enjoy! *listens to somebody offscreen* Swimming? Really? OOOOOO! Just wait, I'll be done in a minute! *turns back to screen* Uh, my family's going swimming now, so I guess this story will have to be in chapters instead of all at once. I LOVE swimming. It's the only sport I'm good at! I even took a lifeguarding course!*someone offscreen yells at her, and Kat23a turns towards them* ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I'M GETTING OFF NOW, SEE? *turns back to screen* Gottagobye!
*Another Note: If you didn't know, I have four younger sisters, all of whom appear in this disclaimer*
Kat23a is standing in her living room, which is (as usual) covered in dolls, magazines, various pillows, books, ninja cows (my sisters invented them), half-eaten cookies, newspaper, and various family members. She is facing her youngest sister, Greta, who is sitting on the couch holding the remote control, but aiming it at Kat23a instead of the TV. Kat23a seems to be acting, dancing, and...singing?
Kat23a: Hark how the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say-
Greta: *pointing remote at Kat* BZZT!
Kat23a: WINNIE THE POOH! WINNIE THE POOH! CHUBBY LITTLE-
Greta: BZZT!
Kat23a: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny-
Greta: BZZT!
Kat23a: ELECTRO-MAGNETO-ENCEPHALO-THINGIE! AND IT CAN BE YOURS FOR ONLY-
Hanna: *walking into the room and observing Kat* BZZT!
Kat23a: *turning to Hanna* The Helicopter Noogie of DOOM! *begins chasing her*
Greta: *throws down remote and attaches herself to Kat's right leg, squealing in joy*
Ellie: *walks into the room, sees what is happening, and attaches herself to Kat's left leg* YESS! PILE ON KAT!
Kat23a: NOOOO! I CAN'T MOOOOVE! *tries ineffectually to move her legs. Hanna observes this, and swaggers (yes, swaggers. My sister is EEEEVIIIIL!) back to Kat23a, smiling at Ellie and Greta*
Hanna: Good work, my minions. Now, this one must relearn her place in this house....she must be TICKLED!
Kat23a: *is REALLY ticklish* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *tries to jump away with two sisters attached to her legs. Hanna attacks, and as the ensuing sounds of pandemonium begin to drift towards the audience, Heidi, Hanna's good (though slightly ditzy) twin sister, walks in and stands in front of the screen*
Heidi: I, like, want to say that Kat, like, doesn't own any Invader Zim stuff, even though I have, like, NO idea why she, like, watches such an /immature/ baby show, since I'm, like, younger than her, and I, like, would /never/ be caught dead watching a cartoon, but, like, anyway, don't sue her and stuff.
Kat23a, Hanna, Ellie, and Greta have all stopped in the middle of the mosh-wrestle party on the floor and are staring at Heidi.
Hanna: Um, Heidi? /WHY/ are you talking to the fireplace?
-- ~ --
A Christmas Carol: The DOOMED version
The scene was Christmas Eve. Zim was on his way home from a necessary trip to the store. He was covered in over twelve layers of clothes (three of them heavy coats), even though it was only cold enough to have the lightest layer of snow on the ground. He resembled nothing so much as a fat stick of bologna as he waddled back towards his house. On his way, he waddled past Zita and Aki playing on an icy playground. Because it was so close to Christmas, Zita decided to actually do something somewhat approaching /nice/ to Zim.
Zita: Hey! Merry Christmas, Zim!
Zim simply growled at her as he hurried past the two. Softly, they could hear him muttering something about "Idiot snow fleas" and their "pathetic holidays".
Aki looked at Zita and said, "Boy, what a grinch."
Zita glared after Zim and replied, "Yeah, see if I ever do anything nice for /him/ again."
Zim continued to growl and grumble to himself as he made his way back. He had only gone out when it was absolutely necessary ever since this stinging white stuff had started falling from the sky. It seemed to be similar to rain, but instead of just disappearing after a day or two, this stuff /stayed/. He had been able to get further on his experiments, but he could not do any crucial observances on the human race ever since skool had closed last week. In fact, he could not make /any/ progress on the invasion as long as this white stuff was around. He was sorry to admit it, but he almost wished skool was back in session. At least then he would have something to /do/ besides remain stuck in his base all day with Gir. Zim had been getting edgier and edgier lately, and he had been taking it out on the poor robot. And then this /holiday/ stuff had started popping up....Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Years, Happy Birthday (he didn't know much about Earth holidays, and had seen a birthday party). THAT was just the klifurn on the frumz. He just couldn't wait for all this human nonsense to be over with.
Zim sighed. As he walked in the dimming light of the sunset, he glanced in the windows of houses he passed. In one house, a dark-skinned human family lit black, red, and green candles while smiling. In another, a type of beautiful golden candleholder, this one with more candles, was lit by a beaming brown-haired girl as her parents looked on. In another, small children put stockings up near a roaring fireplace. (A/N: I KNOW I have the dates wrong for all the various holidays, but I choose to ignore that. My universe, my rules. ^_^) Zim snorted and looked away. What was it with these pyromaniac monkeys and all their candles and lights and fires anyway? He started walking past yet another house, then stopped. This house belonged to the Dib-human. Dib hadn't been bothering him as much lately. Surely /DIB/ couldn't have fallen for the ridiculous stink-baby holiday scheme.....right? Zim decided to see for himself. He snuck up to the closest window of Dib's house, carefully avoiding all larger patches of snow. Inside, he could make out Dib standing on a rickety stepladder while trying to put a Professor Membrane- angel at the very top of a decorated tree. Near the bottom of the tree, Gaz was playing her Gameslave with one hand and shaking a box with her name on it with the other hand, trying to figure out what was in it. Zim snorted. Pitiful stinking humans. He quickly continued on his way before either of the two noticed him. Of /course/ Dib fell for the inferior human holiday scheme. A worm-baby like Dib probably couldn't even /live/ without some pathetic holiday. The great ZIM, however, was an Irken Invader, and Irken Invaders needed NOTHING, especially not some stinking human holiday. This in mind, Zim continued to march...er.../waddle/ back to his nice, warm, DRY base.
He finally arrived at his house. The only sign that this house even acknowledged the holidays was decaying brownish wreath that Zim had dug out of a garbage can and tacked on the door, in an attempt to seem like he was doing some human celebrating for the holidays. He waddled up the path to the door. As he approached the door, the sign on it that said "men" and had the men's stick figure on it slowly changed to say "doom", and the figure appeared to now be a silhouette of the head of a chihuahua... If Zim had noticed this, he would have most likely freaked out, but he was so bundled up that he could not see more than a strip at a time, and he definitely could not turn his head or lift it up to see the changed door. Zim simply slammed his way into the house and began stripping off layers of clothes. As he reached the last layer, he looked up and said, "Computer, dryer."
A long tube descended out of the ceiling and began to blast hot air at Zim, erasing any last traces of water that might be clinging to him. As the tube finished and began retreating back into the ceiling, a loud screaming sound could be heard from the toilet in the kitchen. The sound grew louder and louder, and finally revealed itself to be a screaming Gir, who blasted out of the toilet and directly towards Zim's face.
"YAAAAY! MASTER'S HOOOME!"
"Gir, NO!"
Gir tackled Zim to the ground and began screeching and hugging him. Zim, predictably, began yelling and rolling around, trying to throw off the insane robot. Gir suddenly sat up from his place on Zim's back and smiled down at Zim.
"HAPPY NEW CHRISTMIHANUKKWANZA, MASTER!!!," he said. "I got choo a PRESENT!!! Wait here!"
Zim gasped as Gir got off of him and he began to get up. He had no sooner stood than Gir jumped on him again, knocking him to the floor. Zim yelled and sputtered, and looked up just in time to have Gir shove a disgusting bowl of.../something/...in his face. Or more precisely, ON his face.
Zim began to smoke and yelled "AAAAAAAAAAAAA! THE STINK!!! IT /BURNS/!!!!!"
Zim knocked Gir off him in his desperate attempt to get the...the...whatever-it-was off his smoking face. He finally dove into the pile of clothes in front of the door and wiped his face off with them. When he had stopped smoking, he whirled on Gir, who was still holding the bowl and smiling.
"Aaaaaaw, you liked it!," Gir crooned happily.
Zim's eye twitched as he faced Gir.
"Gir...what was that?"
"A special treat, Master! I made it for yooooou! It had all your favorite things in it! Tuna, and piggies, and brainfreezys, and cleansing chalk, and pudding, and sugar, and pancakes, and Acne Blast, and-"
Zim suddenly interrupted by screaming, "THOSE ARE /NOT/ MY FAVORITE THINGS!"
Gir looked stunned, and his antenna drooped.
"Don't you like it, Master?"
Zim towered over Gir, and began yelling directly at the little robot.
"NO, I did NOT like it, Gir! And what's more, I HATE these PATHETIC, FREAKISH, HUMAN WORM-BABY holidays! I cannot get any further in the invasion with all this human INSANITY going on, and even if there WERE no holidays, I wouldn't get any farther because of YOU, Gir! In fact, I think I would be doing MUCH better if YOU WEREN'T HERE AT ALL!"
By the end of Zim's tongue-lashing, Gir was cowering on the floor, and his cyan-blue eyes were filling up with tears. Zim, still angry, ignored this and marched past Gir towards the toilet. As he reached it, he turned to the little robot and said, "I'm going down to the lab for the night. PLEASE don't follow me."
Then, without another word, Zim descended to the lower levels.
Gir stared in the direction Zim had gone for several more moments, still looking stunned, and then said slowly, "Master...master doesn't want me anymore?"
The tears in his eyes spilled over.
After a minute or two, Gir reached into his head and pulled out a rubber piggy. He looked at the piggy for a second, and then hugged it tightly. Then, he held it away again and said, "C'mon, pig. If master doesn't want us anymore, then we have to go away."
Outside, the first flakes of a blizzard began to fall.
~ --
Below, in the labs, Zim went through a routine check of all the levels on his way to bed. He did it just to cool down as much as for security. How could that idiot robot even /think/ of celebrating the evil inferior monkey holidays? And making that disgusting concoction...Zim shuddered. Amazing that he hadn't gotten another monstrous pimple from that goop. In fact, it was amazing that-
A creaking groan came from somewhere behind Zim.
Zim whirled around immediately.
"Who's there?"
No answer. Maybe the Dib-human had seen Zim look into Dib's window and had followed him here. Zim brought the night-vision/telescope goggles out of his backpack and peered into the shadows. He still couldn't see anything.
"Computer, run a scan for any unauthorized lifeforms in the labs," Zim ordered.
Within two seconds, a deep voice replied, "No unauthorized lifeforms detected."
"Hmmmm...," Zim said thoughtfully. Probably just his imagination. He continued his rounds.
A few minutes later, a faint sound like toenails clicking on metal could be heard behind him. Zim whirled around again, goggles still on. Nothing.
"Computer, run another scan."
"No unauthorized lifeforms detected."
"Hmm...maybe the scanner's broken...Computer, run a diagnostic on the scanning equipment."
"All equipment is in perfect working order."
Zim looked worried. If it wasn't the equipment, then what could it be? Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a shadow move. He turned quickly, but could see nothing. He began hyperventilating. There was another click behind him. Turn! Nothing. Uh...maybe he should just go to bed. Yeah, bed sounded good. The equipment was fine. Zim hurried off to his sleeping chamber, ignoring several other clicks, groans, and flitting shadows on his way.
In his chamber, Zim settled down onto the soft cushions as the room darkened. Everything seemed much more /real/ here. Those clicks and groans were probably just his imagination. He had been under a lot a stress lately, and stress does strange things to any mind.... Zim's eyes began to close peacefully, then paused. It was getting chilly. Strange...the base was entirely temperature-controlled based on Zim's body heat... Zim opened his eyes in annoyance. Did he have to /manually/ change the temperature? And just when he was getting comfortable.
"Computer, lights," Zim said.
"Lights on," the computer replied, but the room stayed dark.
"Computer, I /said/ lights."
"Lights already activated."
Zim sat up in the darkened room, annoyed.
"Computer, there are no lights here. Activate visual sensors."
"Visual sensors see no lights. Lights activated."
The room remained dark. Zim sighed. Something must be broken. Now he would have to get up and....and....
A soft blue glow came from the corner of the room. Zim stared at it. Normal Irken lighting was red or yellow...this was not from any of his systems. As Zim watched, the light grew brighter, and then a transparent blue figure floated through the wall. It looked like a ragged chihuahua with a row of stitches over one eye, covered in chains.
Zim stared at it, his mouth hanging open.
The chihuahua floated eerily.
Zim stared at it, his mouth hanging open.
The chihuahua floated eerily.
Zim stared at it, his mouth hanging open.
The chihuahua floated some more.
Zim closed his mouth and stared at the chihuahua.
The chihuahua floated.
Zim stared.
Chihuahua floated.
Zim stared, scratching his head.
The chihuahua floated some more, and then turned to the screen. It reached behind it, and then held up a sign that said, "Hey, author! I'm a dog. I can't talk."
A mysterious voice came from the ceiling, saying, "I grant you the power of speech for one night."
The chihuahua turned back to Zim, and cleared its throat with a strange choking sound. Then, in an eerily high scratchy voice, it said, "Invader Zim!"
Zim stared at it some more, and then cautiously said, "Yeees?"
The chihuahua again said, "Invader Zim!"
"Yes, that's me."
A third time, the chihuahua said, "Invader Zim!"
Zim, now annoyed, said, "What?!"
"Invader Zim, I am no ordinary dog!"
Zim looked at the transparent glowing blue chihuahua, covered in chains and turning a slow somersault about four feet off the ground.
"Oh, really? I hadn't noticed."
Sarcasm was lost on the chihuahua, and it continued.
"No! In fact, I am a GHOOOOOOST! I have been sent to give you a message from beyond the GRAAAAAAAVE!"
Zim smiled nastily and said, "I don't believe I need any messages at the moment. Computer! Intruder Alert!"
Alarms went off and lights began flashing. Robotic arms descended from the ceiling and began to gnash together threateningly. This went on for several minutes, but then the arms stopped and the lights and alarms went off. The computer's voice came back on.
"Require further information on enemy's location."
Zim looked surprised and indignant.
"What?! Computer, it is /right there/! A dog, /right there/! Activate visual scanners!"
"Scanners report Invader Zim only lifeform in the room. Should we run a mental health diagnostic?"
Zim, outraged, shouted, "NO!"
The chihuahua, still floating creepily, said, "Nobody else can see me, Zim. Only you. I have been sent to show you the true meaning of the holidays."
Zim turned on the chihuahua and yelled, "WHY would anyone send me an Earth ghost to show me the true meaning of some ridiculous Earth holidays?! I'm not even /from/ Earth!"
The chihuahua shrugged and said, "It's actually a pretty common occurrence, around here. Anyway, tonight, you will be visited by three-"
The voice from the ceiling whispered, "Four."
The chihuahua looked up and said, "Four? It's usually three..."
The voice replied, "Just trust me. Four."
The chihuahua shrugged again and said, "/Four/ spirits, from the past, present, and future. A new one will arrive each hour, on the hour. Pay attention to them, for they are your last hope..."
The chihuahua began to fade, along with the sound of his voice.
"Your last hope..."
Zim stared as the blue light faded and then went out, leaving blackness and silence. He then settled back into the cushions, wondering if maybe that goop that Gir had smeared onto his face /had/ done something to him....
Somewhere above, a little green puppy walked out into the rising storm.
-- ~ --
Ooookay, I'm going to leave the other story I'm working on (The Puppet Game) alone for a while, because this is more fun and seasonal, and because I'm suffering writer's block on The Puppet Game. I'm going to try to get this whole thing finished ASAP, but I have to write it on the only computer left in a house with six other people who want to use it, so it might be slow going. I hope you enjoy! *listens to somebody offscreen* Swimming? Really? OOOOOO! Just wait, I'll be done in a minute! *turns back to screen* Uh, my family's going swimming now, so I guess this story will have to be in chapters instead of all at once. I LOVE swimming. It's the only sport I'm good at! I even took a lifeguarding course!*someone offscreen yells at her, and Kat23a turns towards them* ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I'M GETTING OFF NOW, SEE? *turns back to screen* Gottagobye!