COPYRIGHT NOTE: I don't own Xenosaga
(Story Revision Completion: 07-23-09)
For those wondering what the heck possessed me to revise a huge story like this, it's not merely because I have "too much time on my hands" (heh, don't I wish!). I consider this story one of the more "meaningful" fanfics I've written, and I do believe it's worth the extra attention in polishing. To date, I haven't revised any other published fanfic of mine (at least to this profound extent), so that obviously means I'm fond of this story and want it to be worth your time. I hope you readers agree and find this revised version worthwhile.
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COMMENTS: Here it is, ladies and gentlemen: the last (and longest) chapter of "PATHOS," the grand finale loaded with final plot twists, more Rubedo/Sakura segments, and tons of U.R.T.V. drama. Wow, this story's been one helluva ride, eh? I'm actually happy and sad that it's done: happy, because this is my first real Xenosaga fanfic ever (and also one of my biggest fanfiction undertakings), but sad because it's always bittersweet to see things come to an end. Despite how dark/depressing this story got, it was fun for me to write. But enough melancholy (God knows there's gonna' be plenty in this chapter after what happened last time). Anyway, this chapter serves as an "aftermath" follow-up to Chapter IX, tying the loose ends and wrapping up this twisted drama once and for all.
Oh, and be aware that this chapter includes a "remixed/AUish" cutscene altered from the canon.
So without further delay, I present to you the final installment of "PATHOS." Please do enjoy.
* Content Disclaimer: This chapter contains a brief scene of gory violence. Reader discretion is advised.
PATHOS: Chapter X
Aiselne Nocturnus
The Federation needed an explanation. Despite Salvator's authority, the Galaxy Federation was going to demand some reason behind the loss of ten U.R.T.V.s in one afternoon. There was no way around it! Dmitri knew how to finagle loopholes and pull strings, but eventually government officials were going to notice something suspicious. With the Descent Operation less than a month away, Dmitri could not afford any problematic scandals that might hinder his plans. The government put its entire trust into the U.R.T.V.s, a trust that was not easy to build, but could easily crumble if word spread about his bioweapons massacring each other. Thus, the situation had to be handled tenderly, since it certainly could not be 'covered up.' Of course, Dr. Yuriev was not stupid enough to tell the whole truth…just enough truth to shut up the government long enough for the Descent Operation to transpire next month.
Federation Report 29375:
Ten casualties resulted from PATHOS experiment malfunction. PATHOS Encephalon proved too weak to handle massive output of U-DO Retro Virus and collapsed. Standard U.R.T.V.s 330 through 339 pronounced dead and Variants 666 through 669 safe and operational. PATHOS deemed inadequate and immediately terminated. Variant U.R.T.V.s will resume normal training procedures.
The matter was laid to rest as soon as it ended, and from then on buried under file as The PATHOS Incident.
- - - - -
"Straight to Hell and Beyond"
- - - - -
"You're…not afraid of me, Sakura?"
"'Afraid' of you?! Heheh. Why would I be afraid of YOU, Rubedo?"
"Well…I'm sure you've already realized…you' know, 'what' I am."
"What do you mean? …Oh! Rubedo, don't worry about THAT! I mean; I'm no more 'normal' than you are, after all. If you don't mind me being a girl 'trapped' in her own subconscious domain, then sure it doesn't matter to me if you're a U.R.T.V."
"Sakura…do you even know 'what' a U.R.T.V. is?"
"Well…not really. You guys never explained it very well."
"That's because…I really didn't want you to know. I figured you'd be scared."
"'Scared'? What for?"
"Sakura…U.R.T.V.s are bioweapons. We're created to combat U-DO."
"What's U-DO?"
"…I'm not really sure, myself. Whatever it is, though, it must be powerful for Dad to have built us to be…the way we are."
"'The way you are'? Rubedo, I…I don't think I understand. You're talking as though you're an abomination or something."
"That's because we U.R.T.V.s ARE abominations, Sakura."
"How can you say such things, Rubedo?! No child is an abomination!"
"You don't understand."
"No…perhaps I don't, but I still don't like the way you're talking about yourself, Rubedo. The Rubedo I know is very brave and compassionate. I know there's a lot I don't understand about U.R.T.V.s, but the U.R.T.V.s I know aren't abominations at all! You, Albedo, and Nigredo are some of the sweetest boys I've ever met. All of you treat me so kindly and make me feel so happy. Before I met the three of you I was always alone. Now, I can wake up in the morning with a smile on my face, knowing I'll be seeing you soon."
"Sakura…"
"Maybe I'm naïve. Mom used to always say I was a little 'too' carefree. But I know how I feel and I feel very strongly about you and the U.R.T.V.s. I'm sure your dad had his reasons for creating you, reasons I'll probably never understand. However, despite anything else, I don't believe you're an abomination, Rubedo. Even if you were 'meant' to be one, I don't think you turned out to be one.
"So you see, there's no way I could ever be afraid of you, Rubedo. I feel my safest when you're near, and I think your brothers feel the same. If anything…I think…you're just afraid of yourself."
"…Maybe."
"You shouldn't be. You're a lot stronger than you realize, Rubedo. Don't be scared."
Alas, he was scared…more scared than Rubedo ever felt in his entire life.
He killed them…
Rubedo killed ten of his brothers that afternoon for no damn reason other than to selfishly relieve himself of his pain. The ironic part was that in doing so, Rubedo not only projected his pain on others but he multiplied his own pain, as opposed to ridding himself of it once and for all. To add to the poetic irony, the ten 330-Units were now dead; their problems were over. Meanwhile, Rubedo was left to wallow in his self-inflicted agony whilst carrying the guilt of murdering innocent comrades. Despite the standards' attitudes and resentment of him, Rubedo knew he was out of line to deliberately slaughter them. Nobody deserved to be killed via selfishness.
Selfishness.
According to Sakura, Rubedo was a "brave and compassionate" person. She also claimed be was a "wonderful boy." The girl's infatuation disabled her from ever understanding the true nature of U.R.T.V. Number 666. However, what would Sakura think of Rubedo now? Would she still love him after she found out he selfishly murdered ten of his brothers? Would she just run away, scared, like she did in his dream? Or worse…would she condemn him, hate him, or reject him?
She trusted him. Everyone trusted Rubedo, but Sakura Mizrahi was different. Not only did she trust Rubedo with her life, but she trusted him with her mother and unborn sister's lives, too. Such was why Sakura asked Rubedo to make his promise on that fateful, sun-kissed summer afternoon.
"My mother and sister…I want you to look after them for me. Okay?"
He could not help but wonder…would Sakura still trust Rubedo with her family after knowing what he did today? If Rubedo killed his own brothers, what stopped him from killing Sakura's mother and sister? If Sakura were still alive, what would she say to him? Would she take back the promise? Would she slap him for being such a fool? Would she regret kissing him? Would regret ever meeting him?!
"Meeting you was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, Rubedo."
No. Sakura would never hate him, and that was the most painful part. Even if she walked right into his bedroom at that very moment, with full knowledge of what happened in the PATHOS Encephalon, Sakura would never hate Rubedo. She was too kind and loving to hate him. Knowing Sakura, she would stroll into his room with a big smile on her face to reassure him that she was not mad. She would be the first to hold him and tell him she, of all people, understood what it felt like to endure massive levels of pain. Sakura always put others before herself, and constantly strived to cheer up Rubedo when he was sad.
Rubedo did not believe he deserved such kindness anymore. He was a murderer. This was not technically the first time he killed someone, but all the other times were "business," according to Dmitri. The only other time Rubedo killed was during missions where U.R.T.V.s resumed their inherent roles as Federation weaponry. Alas, that did not mean Rubedo enjoyed killing, nor did it mean he was spared from nightmares of his innocent victims' screams. However, Rubedo sought ignorant bliss in knowing his 'kills' were "business," and not via his own pleasure.
But today was different. Today, Rubedo murdered ten of his U.R.T.V. comrades to relinquish his pain. The worst part was…he enjoyed every minute of it.
The standards' cries were melodious. Their blood was intoxicating. Everything felt so good. Never before in his life did Rubedo feel so fulfilled, as if he tore off the 'wonderful boy' veil and revealed the 'weapon' side of his existence…his true existence. There was a strange satisfaction in accepting his demonic side, and it felt…wonderful.
Unfortunately…after the fact…it did not feel so 'wonderful' anymore. No longer inebriated, Rubedo was feeling the punishing aftereffects of his actions like the world's worst hangover. Sadly, the pain of this aftermath would not go away no matter how many times the distressed boy retched or laid down. Every second was plagued with another flashback of the PATHOS Encephalon: another bloodied standard's face, sometimes half-faces of half-heads, sometimes no heads, or just screams, or seas of blood, or heaps of rotting carcasses…
His knees smashed against the tiled floor of his quarter's bathroom. The red-haired boy's weak legs proved unable to support his body after retching for the umpteenth time that afternoon. Rubedo's body convulsed violently, glistening with a feverish sweat while he leaned against his bathroom's toilet as his only way of supporting his weight. So intensely weakened at the moment, Rubedo could barely keep his eyes open, and his head hung effortlessly. He could barely sit upright and sat on the cold bathroom floor like a pathetic ragdoll carelessly tossed across a room.
What would Sakura think of him now?
What would anyone think of him, the link master, now?
Did it really matter anymore?
"You're a lot stronger than you realize, Rubedo."
He did not feel strong any longer. If he were so strong Rubedo would have found a safer way to relieve his pain. Alas, he did everything wrong; he bottled up his pain, the bottle exploded, and many people died in the explosion. Now Rubedo had to suffer the justifiable consequences.
"Why are you the leader? You're a monster!"
Those standard bastards were right all along. Rubedo was truly a monster, and now the standard 330 U.R.T.V.s could rest in peace knowing they were right and he was wrong.
- - - - -
"What do we do now, Albedo?" Nigredo somberly asked as he and his older brother slowly traversed the corridor leading to Dmitri's office. As planned, Nigredo and Citrine's rescheduled meeting with Dmitri was next on the agenda after Diving Lab #3 was cleaned. The middle child was not invited to Dmitri's meeting, but Nigredo saw no trouble in Albedo walking him to the office, especially since Albedo had nobody else to turn to at the moment. Frankly, Nigredo needed a little companionship for himself right now.
Staring blankly ahead, Albedo walked in a daze, barely noticing Nigredo's question. However, despite the white-haired boy's unfazed expression on the outside, on the inside Albedo was quite animated. The ordeal inside PATHOS was still fresh in his mind, and he was still rather spooked. However, as time passed, Albedo felt a strange 'happiness' spark within him, identical to the time in Sakura's winter domain when Rubedo first saw his shadow. The PATHOS ordeal was actually not different.
Rubedo…really is a monster, after all. For some reason, despite how his own twin attempted to kill him, Albedo still felt…happy. Albedo's suspicions were right all along regarding Rubedo's odd aura. As if Albedo received the highest enlightenment, the middle child almost felt like he was floating. Based on last night, Albedo knew Rubedo cared about him, and now it was confirmed that Rubedo was just as monstrous as his twin.
There was a chance. Albedo could sense it.
The moment Rubedo attempted to kill him Albedo sensed something very profound. It only lasted for a second, but it was long enough to instill the greatest piece of insight into Albedo's mind. He could feel Rubedo's Red Dragon power radiating, so intense and powerful that nothing could stop it, not even death, or perhaps not even…immortality. The Red Dragon mode was a devilish force powerful enough to fight, maybe eliminate, U-DO, but there was an additional advantage. The U.R.T.V.s barely understood U-DO, but Albedo had a feeling it was a very almighty entity, having witnessed it kill Sakura Mizrahi. He may not know 'what' the hell U-DO was, but Albedo knew it was powerful, almost godlike.
Gods were supposedly immortal, which was what differentiated them from mortals. Yet, hypothetically, if U-DO's greatest adversary was, say, the Red Dragon, that meant Rubedo's power was formidable to counteract a godlike entity. And if he was able to kill a god, that meant Rubedo was capable of killing an immortal.
There were still loose ends to tie and plans to be made, but Albedo was almost certain he just discovered the loophole in his regenerative curse.
"Albedo?" The black-haired boy's voice spoke again, this time louder to try and get Albedo's attention. Nigredo had noticed an odd change in Albedo ever since their last PATHOS experiment concluded. Once again, the middle Variant shut himself off the mental link, which Nigredo found strange at a time like this when Albedo would probably be poking around to tap into Rubedo's thoughts. Instead, Number 667 seemed to be lost in a daze-like trance, purposely keeping his thoughts and expression ambiguous so nobody would know what was going on inside Albedo. Despite being a prime example of living a 'secretive' life, Nigredo abhorred secrets.
Halting in the middle of the hallway, Nigredo grabbed Albedo's nearest arm to stop the white-haired Variant from obliviously walking ahead. "Albedo, what's wrong?" demanded Nigredo, narrowing his teal eyes seriously to try and pry the truth from his older sibling. Despite how Nigredo was scheduled to report to Dmitri's office, the baby Variant was much more concerned with his brothers. Rubedo was already in a fragile state, and something was telling Nigredo that Albedo was the same. "What's wrong?" he repeated, this time more gently as he locked his eyes with Albedo's. Nigredo did not want to lose another brother during at time like this.
It took a moment, but Albedo's violet eyes blinked before seeming to come back to reality. However, as if the older brother's actions did not disturb Nigredo enough, the younger brother actually felt a chill run down his spine when he watched Albedo's face flash him a content smile. "Nothing's wrong, Nigredo," Albedo reassured, talking as though they were chatting about the weather. "In fact, everything's great!"
Blinking, himself, Nigredo's face was riddled in confusion. Nigredo was not blind to Albedo's drop in sanity over the past few months. However, now was not the time for Albedo's mind to wander into psychotic tangents like earlier in the shower room. Placing both hands on Albedo's shoulders, Nigredo firmly gave his older sibling a shake, praying to keep Albedo's mind in focus. With Rubedo in his current condition the leader was going to need as much support as available. Albedo could not afford to slip into insanity now of all times!
"Albedo…you've got to stay focused for Rubedo," Nigredo practically implored, feeling his own heart begin to pound anxiously. The youngest Variant was quite resilient for his age, but even Nigredo had his limits, and could not afford carrying all the weight of this matter alone. "Rubedo needs you," he added, before glancing away for a second and including, "I need you, too. I can't help Rubedo without you." He conveniently left out the fact that Nigredo also needed his own moral support, though he was not selfish enough to voice such.
But much to Nigredo's surprise, he actually heard Albedo laugh once, causing the youngest brother to look into Albedo's eyes. Surprisingly, those amethysts did not display a look of madness. Albedo looked genuinely happy, but happy over what?! Surely he could not be pleased with what happened in PATHOS, especially after Rubedo attempted to kill him! What in God's name was happening to Albedo?!
"You're so serious, Nigredo," smiled Albedo, before patting his brother's arms as a cue for Nigredo to let go. He understood how Nigredo failed to join in his happiness. After all, nobody else knew the little revelation Albedo unearthed about his immortality. Thus, such a realization would only please Albedo. However, even he did not want to worry Nigredo today. Patting his little brother's black hair like a pet, Albedo then strolled in the opposite direction of Dmitri's office, calling back to the baffled Nigredo, "Everything's going to be fine, you'll see."
Nigredo did not understand anything anymore. He was getting just as lost as Rubedo. Albedo was making no sense and Rubedo was too disturbed to seek at the moment. The only other person Nigredo had a slight chance of turning to was…
"About time you showed up," Citrine's voice suddenly scoffed, the female type catching up with Nigredo as both young Variants stood before Yuriev's office. Nigredo hardly managed to turn to her before the blonde opened the office door and motioned her brother to follow. "Let's get this over with."
Not having anywhere, or anyone, else to go to, Nigredo obediently followed.
- - - - -
"Why do things die, Sakura?"
"…Why would you ask me something like that, Rubedo? If this is about…my condition, I told you not to worry about that."
"Nuh-no. That's not why I asked. I mean, yeah I'm worried about you, but…"
"Rubedo…just tell me."
"Well…it's about Albedo."
"Albedo? Is he…sick?"
"No, nothing like that. Actually…he's perfectly fine, at least…physically."
"What do you mean?"
"You' see…the other day he found out about his powers. He can regenerate, Sakura. His body cells are capable of growing at an accelerated rate, allowing him to heal almost instantly."
"Wow. That's amazing."
"…Albedo didn't think so for long. When he found out nobody else could regenerate…he freaked out, not wanting to accept that Nigredo and I could die and not him."
"I see. He's afraid of being left alone, isn't he?"
"Those were pretty much his exact words."
"Oh Rubedo, I'm sorry to hear that."
"So am I. I mean; I'm well aware that things eventually die, but…what's the point?"
"'What's the point' of living, or dying?"
"Both, I guess, especially when some people can die and others can't."
"Do you really believe Albedo won't die?"
"He didn't when he blew his head off."
"WHAT?!"
"Aw, shit…I-I didn't mean to say that, Sakura."
"…Oh…well, that's okay, I guess. But…did he…REALLY do that, Rubedo?"
"…Yeah."
"Oh God. That must've been horrifying."
"It was. I actually thought he was dead for a moment."
"Rubedo…"
"Na, it's alright. Trust me, Albedo took it harder than I did."
"That doesn't mean you weren't hurt."
"…"
"Rubedo?"
"…I'm alright."
"You obviously aren't. It's okay, Rubedo…you can talk to me…"
"I-I know, but…Sakura, do me a favor and don't read into this, okay? It's hard enough and I don't want to think about it anymore than I have to."
"It's not good to bottle things up, Rubedo."
"Yeah, but right now I'm not in the mood to talk about it too much. I couldn't listen to it when Albedo brought it up, and no offence but I don't think I can talk to you about it, either."
"What about Nigredo?"
"He's just as shaken up."
"What about your dad?"
"Tch! What about him?"
"Rubedo…you're only going to hurt yourself."
"I just don't want to talk about it anymore."
"Well, okay, but…you DID bring it up, you know."
"Yeah…I'm kinda' regretting that, now. I just…I don't understand why some things die and others don't. It doesn't make sense."
"'Life' and 'death' aren't easy subjects to understand, Rubedo. Even I don't understand them, and I doubt most people do. But…I DO believe in fate, Rubedo. It was definitely fate that brought you and I together, and I'm sure fate played a part in bonding you and Albedo."
"Yet that damned 'fate' is gonna' tear us apart."
"The bond you and Albedo share isn't fragile, Rubedo. It'll transcend death."
"Somehow that doesn't make me feel better, and I'm sure it won't make Albedo happier. All I can think about is leaving him behind to fend for himself. I keep picturing him all alone, crying in an empty room and screaming for me to come back."
"Rubedo…"
"I'm not saying he's weak, Sakura, but…Albedo needs me. I don't know what the hell I'll do if we get separated."
"Rubedo…although I'm sure you're worried about how Albedo copes…are you sure you're really worried about just HIM?"
"What?"
"I have a feeling you're afraid of leaving him because…you're afraid to go into the afterlife without him. You don't want to be alone anymore than he does."
"…"
"I'm sorry. That was…a bit too direct, wasn't it?"
"No. Actually…you're exactly right, Sakura. He's…he's my twin brother and…I don't know what I'd do without him. Supposedly, peoples' worries vanish when they die, but…I'm not brave enough to get that far and realize their assumptions were false."
"You really love him, don't you?"
"H-huh?!"
"Hehehe. You CAN admit it, you know."
"…Well…I dunno…"
"Oh come' on, Rubedo!"
"Heh…well…of course I do. He's a pain in the ass sometimes, but…heh…I'd be up shit's creek without him."
"Hehe. I hope you tell him that someday."
- - - - -
"In spite of what happened with today's PATHOS experiment…" Dr. Yuriev began, standing before his youngest, yet most loyal U.R.T.V. children. Originally, his meeting with Citrine and Nigredo was meant for this morning, but thanks to Albedo's shower episode, not to mention what happened with PATHOS, Dmitri was only able to privately speak with 668 and 669 now. Folding his hands behind his back, the man continued to stand before his desk a few feet away from his kids. "…Preparations for the Descent Operation are still underway. I've already told you that PATHOS has been terminated after what happened today. You can guess that Rubedo will no longer be undergoing constriction exercises to better harness the Red Dragon, meaning his control over it will be significantly poor from here on out. That means you two will have to be on full-alert from now on."
"Yes, sir," nodded Citrine, while her brother remained silent and motionless. Both Citrine and Dmitri knew Nigredo's opinion on the matter of his best friend, so there was no point in rehashing it. Besides, friendship or not, Nigredo was obedient enough to Dmitri to still kill Rubedo if ordered.
Not bothering to wait for a response from the raven-haired boy, Dmitri proceeded. "Secondly, regarding the Descent Operation," he spoke whilst turning around and briefly facing his desk, appearing to leaf through items littering the desk's top. "I've changed my mind on a few things. Taking into consideration Rubedo's low level of skill taming the Red Dragon, there's a chance he might lose control during the Descent. You know as well as I do that such cannot happen."
Pausing again, the blonde man then turned back around holding a large weapons case before him. From experience, the Designer Children instantly recognized the platinum case as the type for carrying pistols specifically crafted for U.R.T.V. training. Upon opening the shiny case, Dmitri unveiled two identical black handguns, polished and apparently never used. Without word, Citrine and Nigredo reached out and accepted a loaded gun, Citrine instantly getting a comfortable feel of its metallic weight in her hands.
Conversely, Nigredo stared aimlessly at his weapon. The pistol almost mocked him, conveniently being the identical color of his jet-back hair. The sleek gunmetal shined via overhead light fixtures in Dmitri's office, the shine glaring into Nigredo's teal eyes. The gun was a weapon specifically crafted for him, and also happened to be the weapon Dmitri obviously expected Nigredo to use to kill Rubedo.
Nigredo could almost see the black gun tainted in his brother's red blood.
Rubedo…
"Keep those with you at all times," ordered Yuriev, turning back to his desk to pick up and give two holsters to go alongside the children's new pistols. Citrine practically accepted the leather holder like an eager teen driver whose father just gave her the keys to his car. Nigredo, on the other hand, accepted it as though somebody just gave him a noose to wrap around his neck. "I also want at least one of you by Rubedo's side as often as possible. Tracking him via the mental link may not be enough in the event the Red Dragon awakens again. You are to keep a closer eye on him, understood?"
"Yes, sir," repeated Citrine, already holstering her new weapon as if she were ready to get the job done right away. Once again, Nigredo remained silent and just continued staring at his reflection displayed across the metallic pistol.
"Good," Dmitri bluntly replied, before turning his attention specifically on the oblivious Nigredo. Despite how he knew Nigredo was listening, Dmitri never liked his children to show a lack of respect. Yuriev knew his son was hurting, but as with Rubedo, Dmitri was not about to grant Nigredo time to sort through his emotional dilemmas, especially with the Descent Operation so close.
Speaking of the Descent Operation, "One more thing, Nigredo," emphasized Dmitri, purposely regaining his youngest son's attention back up at him. Folding his arms, Dmitri then locked his eyes with Nigredo's, bearing down upon the young boy rather authoritatively. It was vital that Nigredo listen to what his father was about to say, since the major reason Dmitri called this meeting was to tell Nigredo the other 'change in plans.' Of course, for Dmitri, this 'change' had been planned from the very beginning, but his U.R.T.V.s did not need to know such.
"I'm sure you haven't forgotten about your duty, Executioner," Dmitri reminded, causing Nigredo to cringe at the horrid title bestowed upon him. Technically, Citrine was an 'executioner' U.R.T.V. like Nigredo, but the title seemed to be used more commonly towards Nigredo for some ungodly reason, despite Citrine being older. Why the hell Nigredo was graced with this 'blessing' he would never know. "Plus, do not think your role of 'fail-safe' is over just because PATHOS has been terminated. The threat of the Red Dragon going out of control again is still very real, Nigredo, thus you're still the fail-safe."
Nigredo understood Yuriev's declaration, though the boy could not help but blink at a sudden realization. Number 669 was dubbed "Executioner" because he was built to kill the Red Dragon. However, he was also dubbed "fail-safe" in the event the Red Dragon went out of control. Were the two titles, "Executioner" and "fail-safe," not one in the same? Yet, Dmitri acted as though they served two different purposes.
As if able to read Nigredo's thoughts, Dmitri wore a very slight expression of amusement before deciding to finally enlighten his youngest son of the next string attached to his destiny. "I will not be sending Citrine into the Descent Operation, Nigredo. In the event of a worst-case scenario she'll need to be kept safe." His reasons for protecting Citrine were his own, though Dmitri figured she would prove useful after the Descent ended. Citrine was the only U.R.T.V. Dmitri was ever remarkably pleased with, worthy of stepping into the next phase of Dmitri's plans following Miltia.
His father's words baffled and angered Nigredo. Despite not being an emotional U.R.T.V., Nigredo could not help but feel his blood boil upon Dmitri's remark. "But it's okay if I get killed out there?!" Apparently, Citrine was considered more valuable than Nigredo in Dmitri's eyes.
The raven-haired child's naivety caused Dmitri to grin faintly. "Foolish boy. How many times have I told you that U-DO can't harm you, nor can you harm it? You were specifically built for that purpose so there's no reason for you to think you'll die on Miltia. Whatever happens with U-DO, you'll be safe. I've already got a charter scheduled to rescue you after the appointed Zohar severing."
Perhaps Dmitri was right, but Nigredo was still not comforted. He did not like what his father seemed to be implying, too, as if Dmitri was expecting something to go wrong, or at least something 'major' would happen on Miltia. However, it was a bit reassuring to know that Dr. Yuriev was willing to schedule a charter to rescue his children after the Operation was finished. "I see…" Nigredo figured. "…So we're to head to the rescue sight after we've completed the mission, correct?"
Nigredo did not think he asked a difficult question, but Dmitri still seemed to need a moment to answer, along with another second to glance at Citrine. Nigredo, too, looked over at his sister, noticing her blue eyes instantly dart away from his upon seeing the turquoise in Nigredo's orbs. Suddenly feeling unsettled, Nigredo dared to look back up at his father's placid face.
"Yes," Dmitri finally answered, though not before further explanation. "But there's not going to be any 'we' getting on that charter, Nigredo. Just you."
Just…ME?!
Nigredo could not help but blink a few times. What in God's name did Dmitri mean?! What made Nigredo so special that only he was getting a rescue flight out of Miltia? "W-what…what about the others?" the black-haired boy stammered, feeling his heart start to race in fear as he searched his father's eyes for an answer.
All Nigredo got instead was, "You are a fail-safe, Nigredo," explained Dmitri. "A fail-safe built specifically to kill the Red Dragon…and ensure the compliance of all U.R.T.V.s. You know all about your father's little 'weakness,' correct?" he questioned, knowing the answer was written all over Nigredo's paling face. "Number 669 was specially built to counteract any forms of U.R.T.V. rebellion against me.
"However, as you are aware that I don't possess the ability to kill my own anti-existent children…" added Dmitri, before glaring his eyes right back into Nigredo's widening teal eyes. "…I need a fail-safe that will be able to eliminate the U.R.T.V.s when their usefulness has ended. That time will be o-one-hundred hours on Miltia that night, after the appointed Zohar severing. In the event any U.R.T.V. survives the severing, you, Number 669, are ordered to terminate the remainders. As you possess the ability to counteract their wave patterns you should have no difficulty with this assignment…"
"HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SAY THAT?!" Nigredo suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs, his uncharacteristic outburst instantly silencing Yuriev and causing Citrine's eyes to widen in rare surprise. But Nigredo did not care how he was behaving at the moment. The boy could not believe what his father just told him! As if being titled Rubedo's Executioner was not bad enough, now Dmitri was forcing Nigredo to execute the rest of his comrades during the Descent Operation next month! It was a surreal nightmare during which Nigredo felt like he was going insane. His heart raced and nervous sweat was already forming at his brow whilst his body shook violently. Nigredo was not ready for this revelation. Swallowing a developing lump in his throat, the youngest Variant tore his eyes away from his father and shook his head in utter disbelief. "H-How…how can you possibly…expect me…t-to…"
"Do not make this difficult, Nigredo," Dmitri lightly groaned, discreetly rolling his eyes at how childish Nigredo was behaving. This was why Yuriev hated working with emotionally driven kids; they always let their damn feelings get in the ways of their duties. Citrine was the only child Dmitri thought succeeded in setting aside her emotions for the sake of her life's purpose. "And do not disappoint me, either," warned Dmitri, taking one step closer to his significantly smaller boy, towering intimidatingly over the terrified child. "You were born specifically for these purposes. It's time you fulfilled the duties I bestowed upon you."
"'Bestowed'?!" Nigredo blasted incredulously, shaking his head wildly, so quickly his sweaty black hair became disheveled. "No! You CURSED me you bastard!" he screamed, balling his fists tightly as a rush of anger and various emotions surged throughout his young body. Never before did Nigredo allow his emotions to take control of him like this, nor did he ever display them before his father. However, Nigredo suddenly realized he did not care anymore. He was tired of being a caged blackbird.
"You cursed ALL of us!" the black-haired boy almost choked, recalling the 'curses' of his unfortunate U.R.T.V. siblings. The standards were cursed without individual consciousnesses and dubbed as expendable as garbage. Albedo was cursed with his immortality, forever deprived of an end to his suffering. And Rubedo…poor Rubedo was cursed with the Red Dragon, which led him to kill his own brothers, and would eventually lead him to be killed by his best friend. The only U.R.T.V. who did not seem cursed was Citrine, though Nigredo doubted she was fully exempt. One way or another, Dmitri would betray her someday, too. Nigredo knew it. And now, on top of everything else, Dmitri was laying one final curse on his Designer Children: dooming them on Miltia.
Of course, the only saving grace with the final curse was that it was entirely up to Nigredo. The boy did not like the idea of being ordered to kill his siblings, but as Dmitri said before, their father was not going to be present during the Descent to 'hold anyone's hand.' Thus, the actions his kids took that night would be their own choices. Therefore, if Nigredo truly wanted to…he did not have to kill his brothers. He could die on Miltia with them.
Alas, would dying a martyr solve anything? Dmitri would still be alive, along with Citrine, and God only knew what they might do after the Descent Operation. Nigredo did not fully understand his father's plans, but he knew Dmitri's ultimate goal was to eliminate his fear of U-DO. Dmitri Yuriev already took very drastic measures in reaching his goal, and Nigredo did not want to imagine the next phase of his father's 'grand scheme.' Something was telling Nigredo the only one who would benefit from the situation was Dmitri…and many others would suffer along the way, just like now.
"No…" Nigredo muttered, shaking his head slowly. Dying on Miltia was not the answer at all, and neither was killing the U.R.T.V.s. If any change could be made it would require the source of the problem to be eliminated. Therefore, to ensure Dmitri's plans went no further, Dmitri was the one who had to be taken out of the picture. Such was the only solution.
"I'm abandoning my mission." Such was why Nigredo gripped the pistol in his hand. That weapon was fated to be the instrument to bring about Rubedo's demise, but only if Nigredo willed it. Now, the boy held in his hands the tool that could change his own destiny…and the fates of perhaps not just his siblings, but of the rest of humanity. Dmitri Yuriev was the greatest monster of all, and he had to be stopped. Such was the only solution.
Such was why Nigredo pointed the gun at his father's face, screaming "I won't follow your orders anymore!"
…And pulled the trigger.
- - - - -
"Well…I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Sakura."
"G-guess s-so, Rubedo."
"Heh. You'd better get inside. It's cold and you're shivering."
"Y-yeah. I'm not used to the snow, yet. Still, I do like it."
"Yeah, me too, but go inside where it's warm, okay? We can play in the snow tomorrow."
"Really? What do you want to play, Rubedo?"
"I dunno. It doesn't snow at the institute. I'll have to check out some books about snow and see what people usually do with it."
"Hehe. Actually, when I was healthier, I think Mom, Dad, and I used to build snowmen in the winter, together. I really don't remember building them, though. It was a long, long time ago…"
"'Snowmen'? Heh, what're they?"
"Why don't you read up on them and I'll tell you more tomorrow?"
"Alright. Sounds' like a plan."
"Mmm-hmm."
"Well, I'd better get going. Nigredo and Albedo already ran ahead to the exit point, and God knows my illustrious twin brother will throw a fit if I take too long."
"Heheh."
"Heh, well, I'll be seeing you, Sakura."
"Okay, then. Goodbye, Rubedo."
"…"
"…Rubedo?"
"Hey Sakura…do me a favor, will ya?"
"Sure. Anything."
"Don't…don't say 'goodbye.' It's kinda' weird to note, but every time I leave we usually say things like 'see you tomorrow' and such. I'd kinda' prefer if it we kept talking like that."
"…Oh. Okay. I…I didn't mean to upset you."
"Na, you didn't. 'Goodbye' is just kinda' bittersweet, that's all…a little too sad coming from you, Sakura."
"I didn't mean it to sound that way."
"I know. Trust me, I'm well aware of how confident you are. You've always kept a smile on your face. That's why I'm sure you'll beat your illness."
"…Really, Rubedo?"
"I know it. I KNOW things will get better, Sakura."
- - - - -
The metallic scents of blood and gunpowder spread throughout the office like an airborne plague. As the redolence lingered into the children's nostrils, Nigredo and Citrine stared expressionlessly at the sight before them. A massive stain spattered the once-immaculately polished floor, coating the finish with an additional red layer of reflective blood. The wet carnage spread to the farthest reaches, even across the U.R.T.V.s' cherubic pale, wide-eyed faces. In the center of the scarlet pool was their father, the majority of Yuriev's body crumpled on the floor: everything from the neck down. As for the 'rest' of Dmitri, there was a faint trail of blood extending from the larger mess, leading directly across the room where a bullet hole in the wall was surrounded by spattered gore.
When the gunshot's ringing in their ears ceased, as if on cue, the two onlooking bloodstained U.R.T.V.s instantly spun away from the sight and retched into an available hand. Their legs almost gave way as their energy practically drained out of their small bodies. For Nigredo, he could still feel the warm pistol in his other vibrating hand, slipping and sliding in his sweaty palm but unable to be dropped. No matter how horrified and ill the boy felt, Nigredo could not bring himself to tear the gun away.
Of course…he knew why. He could feel 'it' surge across the mental link like a tidal wave. The second the emetic sounds dissipated, Nigredo gripped the slippery pistol and instantly spun back around, whipping the gun out and pointing it directly at…another gun barrel.
'Normal' children would have naturally grieved over the death of their parent. Alas, for Dmitri's Designer Children deprived of such grieving 'privileges,' Numbers 668 and 669 pointed their weapons at each other as if about to face-off. Neither kid budged, both leveling the guns perfectly at each other as if they aimed at a mirror. Neither moved a muscle, training all thought and attention on the opposing sibling and waiting for the other to make the next move.
Unfortunately, after what just happened, Nigredo did not believe he had the right to make the next move. His 'turn' as already over, used to execute his own father. Now it was Citrine's turn, and she had every right to return the favor to Nigredo. Relenting, Nigredo's hand slowly lowered his handgun, while Citrine blinked whilst still keeping her pistol trained on her little brother.
"Go ahead, Citrine," Nigredo unemotionally muttered, glancing away from his sister to steal a second-long glance at Dmitri's immobile, decapitated body. Despite the boy's hatred towards his father and Nigredo's inherent aloofness, the raven-haired boy felt his eyes sting with tears as he started realizing what he just did. Not believing Dmitri was worthy of tears, Nigredo furiously blinked back his emotions, despite how the fluids kept on coming. "Killing me won't make any difference, anyway."
The female U.R.T.V. kept the gun pointed at her younger brother for a while longer, ensuring Nigredo would not 'pull a fast one' once she let her guard down. Alas, judging by his forlorn expression and rapidly watering teal eyes, Citrine knew Nigredo would not shoot her. Technically, she had every right to shoot Nigredo. Despite 669 being an executioner U.R.T.V. like herself, Citrine did swear that if Nigredo ever got in her way she would kill him. Now, the baby Variant dared to murder his own father, and afterwards was practically ordering Citrine to kill him! In any other circumstance, Citrine would not have even waited for Nigredo's clearance. In any other circumstance, Nigredo would have already been dead by now.
Alas, Nigredo was not dead…yet. Seeing her littlest brother struggling to restrain his emotions was a pitiful sight for Citrine to behold. Like Dmitri, Citrine frowned upon U.R.T.V.s who let their feelings get the best of them. She was the hardened solider, and she had no problem with acting like it, either.
And yet…even Citrine's blue eyes were stinging.
"Do you…really think this changes anything, Nigredo?" the blonde's voice deeply questioned, while her hand gingerly lowered the gun and returned it to her holster. Somehow, the realization that she was not going to kill Nigredo triggered something inside the boy, as if her decision to spare him broke the final restraint on his emotions. Once Citrine's pistol was gone, the youngest U.R.T.V. lowered his head until all Citrine saw was a vibrating head of raven hair shielding a choked sob. She paused for another moment, unsure what to do or say. She was not like typical older sisters who would comfort their 'poor little brother.' Nigredo was mature enough to understand the magnitude of his actions, and Citrine was not about to baby him just because this was, in fact, the first time she ever saw Number 669 cry.
Yet…even Citrine felt something hurt deep inside her chest. She did, after all, possess human emotions just like the other three Variants. However, what set her aside from the males was that Citrine just chose to ignore her 'human' side.
Yet…
"Killing our father won't change anything, Nigredo," Citrine bluntly noted, well aware of her brother's thoughts across the mental link just seconds before he shot Dmitri. "You know as well as I do his plans will still materialize. He's figured out every angle to accommodate even something as drastic as his death. Nothing's changed," she knew, before quickly glancing at the stomach-churning sight that was once her father. "All you managed to do was make a mess of things."
Nigredo did not reply. Technically, he could not reply due to his clamped mouth, pursed so tightly to prevent the swelling screams and wails Nigredo so desperately wanted to unleash. He did not 'love' Dmitri like most normal children would love their father, but there was no denying that Nigredo felt terrible for killing his creator. On top of that, knowing Dmitri's death changed nothing filled Nigredo with a deepest sense of failure. Nigredo was still trapped in his cage, only this time his cage would forever be decorated in his father's blood, taunting Nigredo for the rest of his life.
The worst part was, Nigredo's murdering of Dmitri was the first decision the boy made on his own. "When you finally learn to make decisions for yourself, let me know." Alas, Nigredo did not even have the strength or courage to tell Rubedo, not because Nigredo feared Rubedo would be upset, but because Nigredo knew his first 'decision' was a wrong and foolish decision.
Citrine noticed a few teardrops drip from her brother's dipped head. He looked so pathetic, and yet, Citrine still could not bring herself to say so to Nigredo. Ordinarily, a sight like this would have driven the arrogant girl to mock the baby Variant for actually acting like a baby. Yet…something held her back.
Yet…her eyes still stung, though Citrine could not decide whether those tears were for Dmitri…or for Nigredo…
…Or maybe for…herself. She, too, was just as trapped as her little brother.
"One day…" Citrine whispered, swallowing a rare well of emotions snagged in her throat before she took a step closer to Nigredo. She only took one step, but it was enough for her to get close enough to her weeping brother, causing Nigredo's forehead to briefly contact her shoulder. Ordinarily, Citrine would have never allowed this, yet…she just stood there for a moment and gave Nigredo the pint of comfort he needed. She never rubbed his back or spoke reassuringly, but Citrine's shoulder seemed adequate. She could feel him lean further into her tear-soaked shoulder, almost hinting to Citrine that the boy might put his arms around her, though Nigredo refrained. He was grateful for her shoulder. It was proof that somewhere, deep down, he and Citrine did have a connection, which was all Nigredo ever wanted.
Of course, Citrine's comfort did not come without a price. "I'm letting you live for a reason, Nigredo," she uttered, lowering her gaze down at Nigredo's black hair whilst continually blinking back her own tears. "Dr. Yuriev won't let you get away with this." Unlike Nigredo, Citrine knew one other string attached to Nigredo's destiny, something Dmitri never got around to explaining before Nigredo unexpectedly murdered him. A while ago, Dmitri already told Citrine the other function of U.R.T.V. Number 669, in addition to him being a fail-safe Executioner. There was one other duty Nigredo was expected to fulfill, a duty Nigredo would fulfill later in his life, specifically when 669 matured into an 'adult' body. Citrine did not know if Dmitri 'anticipated' his own murder, but either way, "One day…you'll realize how stupid your actions really were, and how you did nothing to change your destiny." Discreetly softening her face, Citrine glanced down where her serial number's hand dangled idly beside a line of tears dripping from Nigredo's face.
You did nothing to change your destiny…or MINE, Nigredo.
Eventually, both Nigredo and Citrine would pay for this moment.
- - - - -
"Rubedo?" Albedo whispered gently, before opening the automatic door to the Variant boys' bedroom. He was instantly greeted by darkness, much like the abyss within PATHOS. As the white-haired boy carefully walked into the room and shut the door, he looked around for his twin. The only source of illumination Albedo had was via the fake stars shinning outside a nearby window.
The stars had just started to twinkle by then as the day of The PATHOS Incident staggeringly drew to a close. Nigredo was still nowhere to be found, though Albedo figured the younger brother was still busy doing God-knows-what with Dmitri and Citrine. Not wanting to eat alone in the standard-infested cafeteria, Albedo finally sought after Rubedo, praying he could coerce his older brother to finally come out of their room.
It took a moment for his violet eyes to adjust to the darkness, but Albedo's smile instantly broadened the moment he saw the outline of his precious twin sitting on his cot. After spending an afternoon without Rubedo, Albedo wasted no time in hurrying over to his brother. He was mindful not to run around in the dark in case Gaignun was catnapping on the floor again, which Albedo did not want to accidentally step on the cat. However, Albedo still reached Rubedo's bed as quickly as possible, sitting down next to his brother a second after. The cot's springs creaked a little, though they sounded deafening amidst the dead silence of the room, so silent a pin drop would have been as loud as a thunderclap. It was rare to be in a silent room with Rubedo, especially since the redhead usually liked to talk, and had a loud mouth sometimes, too.
When it dawned on Albedo that Rubedo made no response whatsoever to his younger brother's arrival, Albedo turned to his twin. Rubedo just sat at the edge of his bed and stared aimlessly at the hands on his lap, as if he were looking at them for the first time. The boy's red head hung slightly, enough to avoid any possible eye contact with his brother. Never liking to be ignored, Albedo leaned forward a little so he could better see under Rubedo's hidden face obscured by darkness. "Rubedo?"
Of course, the second Albedo did so, Rubedo's head turned away as if pulled by a string. Such caused the white-haired twin to blink in surprise, before straightening back up and facing the back of Rubedo's head. Rejection never settled well with Albedo, though a part of him understood why Rubedo was acting this way. Albedo could still feel the pain inside his heart reflective of Rubedo, so it did not take a genius to know why Rubedo was acting the polar opposite of his typical self.
Exhaling silently, Albedo then looked back down at his own lap, unable to keep staring at Rubedo's turned head. Sitting in silence, the younger twin wanted to do something to cheer up Rubedo. Heavens knew Rubedo cheered up Albedo countless times throughout their lives, so it was only proper for Albedo to help Rubedo when needed. Alas, Albedo was unsure how to approach this particular subject.
It did not help that Albedo still had a smile on his face, either.
"Don't be sad, Rubedo," encouraged Albedo, turning back to the redhead and placing a hand on the older brother's limp shoulder. Even Albedo shuddered briefly when he noticed how 'dead' his twin felt, though Albedo did not want to think such disturbing thoughts. Refocusing his attention, the younger sibling upheld a pleasant demeanor whilst affectionately rubbing Rubedo's shoulder. "It's not so bad."
He half expected Rubedo to spin around and start ranting and raving how foolishly Albedo spoke. Of course, that was what Albedo wanted, too. He wanted to jar Rubedo out of his depression, even if it meant Albedo had to minutely rile-up the redhead. Alas, when Rubedo failed to respond in any way to Albedo's notion, that was when the younger brother stopped rubbing his twin's shoulder. Apparently, Rubedo was not going to bounce back to his usual self so easily.
Rubedo…
But Albedo was not about to give up, either. He refused to lose his brother, be it via death or via depression. Considering the great lengths Rubedo underwent last night to help Albedo, Albedo knew he had better return the favor. Besides, he loved his twin and could not bear to see Rubedo sad anymore. Heavens knew Rubedo had been disheartened for a while, ever since Sakura died, and Albedo could not stand seeing his typically fiery other half extinguished.
Exhaling more soundly this time, Albedo ran a hand through his thick white hair before getting up off the cot. He was hoping Rubedo would either follow or move in some way as a response, but nothing transpired. Stealing a glance back down at his pitiful twin, Albedo bit his lip before needing to look elsewhere. His happy mood was quickly dying by seeing his poor other half. It was very common for Albedo to symbiotically feel sad whenever Rubedo was sad, and Albedo really did not want to be melancholic.
Strolling a short distance to the unveiled panoramic window, Albedo gazed at the early night sky speckled with lovely stars. Despite how the stars were synthetic, they were quite beautiful to behold, along with the crescent moon casting an enchanting white glow across the courtyard below. The Yuriev Institute might be an artificial world, and it might have been designed to appear idealistically 'perfect,' but tonight the place was nonetheless breathtaking.
Albedo, Rubedo, and Nigredo often gazed at the stars during nights like these, especially evenings during which the kids could not sleep. One of the many books Rubedo read was about astrology and how people could 'connect' stars into 'pictures.' Such images were called constellations and many were named after Lost Jerusalem mythology figures. Unfortunately, the Yuriev Institute's 'perfect' artificial sky did not replicate the specific constellations recorded in Rubedo's books. So instead, the children imagined their own constellations. Nigredo was notorious for spotting a pattern that reminded him of Gaignun. Conversely, Rubedo seemed fond of picking patterns that resembled his favorite things, such as his harmonica or a cherry blossom (his brothers teased him until his face was redder than his hair for that one).
However, for Albedo, there was one particular pattern the middle child enjoyed, a 'constellation' that did not resemble an object or an animal. In fact, the pattern did not look like anything recognizable, but it was the way the pattern was arranged that intrigued Albedo. The starting points of two distinct stars crossed paths, eventually meeting briefly before separating again. Across the starry sky, the pattern was best described as two zigzags when connected via an imaginary line. No matter how many times the two particular stars strayed from each other, their lines eventually returned to the other. Even now, Albedo could spot the pattern painted across the sky, watching his own little constellation of two star paths that were apart as often as they were together. They were the spitting image of him and Rubedo. Albedo could only wonder if the people of Lost Jerusalem had a constellation that mirrored the twins' bond so perfectly, if not better.
His euphoria returning, Albedo placed a hand on the window's glass, smiling earnestly as he gazed lovingly at his favorite constellation. "There are times I think we're opposites, and other times, like now, when I realize our physical detachment never mattered," he spoke softly and openly, before placing the same hand over his throbbing half-heart.
"What happened today made me realize a few things." Of course, Albedo was not foolish enough to divulge all of today's findings, namely his 'loophole.' Something was telling him that Rubedo would not be happy to hear about such, so Albedo buried it alongside his other multitude of secrets. "All this time, I kept wishing we could somehow be, you' know, 'put back together'." Never before did Albedo ever divulge his lifelong dream to Rubedo, in fear the older twin would either be embarrassed or just laugh. "I'd be lying if I said I still wouldn't mind being conjoined again, but…physical means don't really matter anymore. We're still the same, even if we're no longer one."
There was a shooting star that glided across the synthetic skyline, catching Albedo's attention for a second. Usually, the middle child wished upon as many shooting stars as he could find, always wishing that someday he and Rubedo could be brought back together. But tonight he refrained from his typical wish, because Albedo no longer believed that wishing was necessary.
"We really are the same, Rubedo," Albedo smiled happily, blinking back a few tears of gratitude as he watched his shooting star disappear into oblivion. "What happened today proves it. We're both monstrosities, but I can live with being one…if you're one, Rubedo," he added modestly. "To tell you the truth, I never cared 'what' I was; a 'weapon,' a 'Variant,' or a 'monster.' It didn't matter to me as long as I knew you were by my side. Even then I was afraid you were drifting away.
"But now…" paused Albedo, before watching all the other glistening stars in the fake cosmos, all of them practically brightening along with the boy's spirits. "…We're the same again, almost like being together again. I'm so…so happy," he choked, closing his eyes for a second to blissfully restrain his tears. For the first time in a very long time, Albedo felt at peace. Today was the closest Albedo's dream could get to come true, short of him and Rubedo being physically rejoined.
Much to Albedo's surprise, his purple eyes flew open upon feeling a pair of familiar arms suddenly wrap themselves around him from behind. Startled only for a second, Albedo then blinked a few times as he felt the arms encompass his shoulders, enveloping him in a tight embrace. He could feel his shared heart beat faster and his breathing briefly halt for a multitude of reasons, but namely joy. Without words, it was obvious to Albedo how his twin felt about the matter. As a watery smile pilled his quivering lips, the white-haired boy slowly turned his head to face his other half, choking back a jubilant "Rube-"
He did not get very far, however, when one of the embracing arms' hands suddenly covered his mouth, silencing Albedo and preventing him from turning around. Blinking again, Albedo attempted to look at Rubedo through the corner of his eye, unable to speak due to Rubedo's hand shutting his mouth. Albedo's only other form of communication was via the mental link.
He did not get very far there, either. Just before Albedo reconnected to the link, he felt a strange jerk against his mouth. A second later, the covering hand twitched before starting to vibrate, causing it to timidly lower from Albedo's lips in an almost defeated manner. His mouth now free, Albedo felt the hand's attached arm wrap tighter around him alongside the other arm, squeezing Albedo so tightly even he was surprised.
Blinking again in confusion, Albedo turned his freed head to try and face Rubedo, though all he saw was his twin's head of red hair buried into his shoulder. And when the rest of his other half's body started to tremble violently, Albedo's face softened dramatically upon realization. "…Rubedo?"
"Just…s-stop talking, Albedo." It was the first thing Rubedo whispered since Albedo entered the room, perplexing Albedo all the more due to his brother's strange request. Blinking once more, Albedo opened his mouth to speak again, though his twin stopped him once more. "I don't…w-want to hear a-anymore."
With that, Albedo swore he felt his heart drop to his stomach when the silent room echoed a sob, perfectly coordinated with the vibrations from Rubedo's body. Being so close, Albedo's own body shook with his twin's, intensifying Albedo's concern whilst Rubedo's embrace tightened. Any closer and the twins probably would have been rejoined, but this time, Albedo was not feeling happy. Quite the contrary, his heart was aching in conjunction with all the trembles and sobs coming from the redhead buried into his dampening shoulder.
This was too surreal for Albedo. Rubedo did not cry, certainly not this much, except for that time with Dr. Mizrahi the other day. Sure, what happened today in PATHOS was frightening, but Albedo knew Rubedo was strong. Rubedo could handle anything life threw at him, right? "Rubedo…"
"I SAID SHUT UP!!" Rubedo blasted into his twin's ear, causing Albedo to jump. Although, the younger twin did not jump very far before feeling the older brother burry his face deeper, harder, painfully into Albedo's collarbone, a weak attempt to suppress the redhead's spilling tears. As if Rubedo's scream was the verbal password to opening a gate, every emotional restraint let go and poured out of the link master's eyes and mouth. "S-top calling me a m-monster! I don't w-want to be a monster, Albedo, and y-yet you keep acting like it's something to be… t-to be happy about!
"I KILLED ten of my brothers today! I even e-enjoyed it, and almost tried to…tried to k-kill…" Rubedo could not even say his last sentence without holding his twin closer, dreading what might have happened to Albedo had Rubedo not stopped the Red Dragon mode in time. Knowing Rubedo was seconds away from tearing apart his other half via his own accord only intensified the older brother's pain. "Oh God, Albedo…" Rubedo wept, nudging his head closer to Albedo's, resting against the crook of the white-haired boy's neck.
Softening his face further, Albedo's own hands rose to touch Rubedo's encompassing arms, his only way of providing physical comfort at the moment. But at the same time, whilst listening to his half-heart's heart-wrenching sobs, Albedo could not help but be confused. Why was Rubedo so upset? Did the redhead not hear Albedo say they were practically the same again? Was Rubedo not happy to be like his twin? "You…don't want us to be alike, Rubedo?" Albedo timidly asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. "You…don't want us to be together?"
Contrary to his earlier immobility, Rubedo heard everything Albedo said before about how 'similar' they were now. Alas, Rubedo could not take comfort in such. "O-of course I want us to be together, y-you idiot," the redhead choked through another round of oncoming tears. "But…I-I don't want to hurt anyone, let alone my own t-twin!"
As sweet as Rubedo's words sounded, Albedo could not help but feel upset by what his other half just claimed. If Rubedo refused to kill his brother, then…Albedo's precious 'loophole' would be voided. In 'sparing' Albedo, Rubedo would deny his brother the death the immortal one so significantly desired. Albedo could not let such happen; he could not let Rubedo leave him behind.
But…maybe that was what Rubedo wanted.
"You won't kill me…" Albedo muttered, feeling his sadness begin to warp into an odd yet inflaming anger. The feeling burned through his veins, consuming the happiness and hollowing Albedo's sanity like a gutted fish. The younger twin nearly snapped completely. "…Because you want me to be alone, don't you? That's what you want, isn't it?! Die and leave your obnoxious brother behind!" Albedo manically blasted, feeling anger-induced tears start welling his own violet eyes as he attempted to break free from Rubedo's powerful grip. "You and Nigredo probably can't wait to get rid of me, C-CAN you, Rubedo?! You don't care about me, DO you-?!"
"Stop talking l-like an ass!" Rubedo hollered an interruption, though his quaking tone was not as forceful as it normally would be. Ordinarily, if Albedo started talking such attention-craving nonsense, Rubedo would have silenced him via a clean right hook. Alas, tonight, the redhead just quieted his unruly brother with another embracing squeeze, knowing that would be enough to quell Albedo's vexation.
His voice now calming, Rubedo rested his head back against his twin's neck, feeling fluids continue to glide down his cheeks and nose. "H-how could you p-possibly think I'd want to leave you?" Rubedo softly asked, though it was a painful question that tore at him. Sniffling, the older twin then closed his eyes for a moment, nestling his head, the moment reminding him of last night in the forest. Despite the overhanging melancholy last night, Rubedo would have been lying if he said he was 'unhappy' to be there with his other half.
Quite the contrary, "You're m-my twin brother…and I love you d-dearly." Sakura would have been proud to know Rubedo finally told Albedo that, and frankly, speaking his heart made Rubedo feel a little better, too. Both of his hearts felt squeezed, though one heart in particular pumped more dramatically.
Rubedo noticed two crystal drops fall onto his arms currently resting under Albedo's chin. Another sniffle resonated through the dark room, though this whimper was not credited to Rubedo. Such was unsurprising, seeing how Rubedo rarely ever spoke to Albedo in such an honest, heartfelt way. The link master was usually too busy upholding his authoritative status to speak his heart, in fear that others might notice across the mental link. Technically, any other U.R.T.V. could have been listening to this current conversation, but Rubedo did not care anymore. He had much better things to muse over.
With that, Rubedo felt his younger brother shift enough to break apart from Rubedo's hold. Before either could have spoken, Albedo spun around completely, for the first time all night able to face his other half. Despite the faint starlight cast in their room, Albedo saw enough of Rubedo to coerce more tears into the younger half's welling eyes. A mere shadow of his typical self, the link master's face was forlorn. The rims of Rubedo's sapphire eyes were tinted maroon; darkened by four days worth of fatigue and reddened raw by an afternoon's worth of crying. Those eyes continued to leak profusely, staining the redhead's cheeks pinkish and shiny with multiple lines of starlit tears. The sight alone twisted Albedo's heart and provoked more tears down his own features.
Unable to waste anymore time, Albedo placed his arms on Rubedo's shoulders and drew the redhead into his own arms, reversing the role and now being the one holding his brother tightly. As if his other wish came true, Albedo embraced his twin comfortingly, much like he wanted to do instead of Juli Mizrahi the other day. His wish now granted, Albedo soothingly rubbed his twin's back, the action coercing Rubedo to let go of anything else he was holding back. Listening to Rubedo sob into his chest easily drew ample tears from Albedo's half, driving the younger one to burying his wet face into his brother's disheveled red hair. Hearts-to-hearts, the twins sobbed into each other's arms multitudes of tears they had been carrying for far too long.
All the while, Albedo never knew what to say. What could he say? Sure, he could babble valueless nonsense to fill Rubedo's head with false securities. Albedo could humor his twin; tell Rubedo he was not a monster and say he felt sorry for Rubedo. However, considering the apparent pain Rubedo was undergoing, Albedo did not find it fair to load Rubedo with delusions. Albedo knew Sakura was notorious for filling Rubedo's head with flowery ideals, which probably only intensified Rubedo's current pain. Rubedo wanted to be the normal, "wonderful" boy Sakura dubbed him, but the fact was, Rubedo was not normal, nor wonderful, nor anything Sakura thought. It was rather unfair for Sakura to fill Rubedo's head with that lofty crap, even though Albedo knew she did it out of kindness, not torment. All she wanted was for Rubedo to be happy, which was one of, if not the only common trait Albedo and Sakura shared. They both loved Rubedo and did not want to see him hurt.
Unfortunately, Albedo realized that humoring Rubedo with petty false optimism would hurt the redhead. Truthfully, Albedo was still somewhat happy that he and his twin were so monstrously similar. Despite Rubedo's feelings, Albedo felt a sense of selfish 'wholeness' being there with Rubedo in his arms. As Albedo said, it never mattered if the kids were 'normal' or if they were the Devil's spawn. If they could not be reattached, then the next best thing was the twins being as similar as possible. For the first time in a long while, Rubedo no longer felt so 'distant' from Albedo. Even though Albedo rarely let his brother out of his sight, Rubedo kept physically and mentally changing over the years, gradually becoming less interested in his other half. Sakura's début significantly widened the gap between the twins, and for a while, Albedo assumed the rift would never be closed. Technically, the chasm never changed, but Albedo satisfied himself by 'filling' the gap. Matters like this morning in the forest, today's realizations, and Rubedo's heartfelt words, gradually filled the distance between him and Rubedo, 'bridging' the twins back together. It was probably the closest they would ever get to becoming one again.
Honestly, Albedo was happy; though he knew admitting such would only imbue further pain on Rubedo. Despite their similarities, Rubedo was clearly not happy to be like Albedo. The link master wanted to be a normal boy, not some bioweapon freak that indiscriminately slaughters innocents. Even if the twins were created to be one anti-U-DO monstrosity, Rubedo's opinion still differed dramatically from Albedo's. In some ways, the twins were similar, and in other ways, they were polar opposites. Albedo was not sure what this meant, nor did he know if he and Rubedo's gap would ever be filled.
Or, deep down, the twins were, and always would be, two halves of a complete whole. They were two parts that complimented and mirrored each other: two stars that were apart as often as they were together. In a way, it was both disturbing and relieving for Albedo, knowing he and Rubedo would stray, but eventually return to each other. Perhaps they were fated to be this way forever. If that were true, then there was nothing for Albedo to fear in the future, not when he and Rubedo would eventually be together again.
Somehow, everything would be okay.
Slowly, the twins' sobs finally began to lessen into weaker hiccups. As their large tears reduced to occasional eye trickles, the exhausted boys gradually lowered themselves to the floor, sitting shoulder-to-shoulder under the starry window. Their positions were a reversed mirror image of last night in the forest. Rubedo's head now laid on Albedo's shoulder, whilst the younger boy's head rested atop his sibling's red hair.
Any time Albedo heard an occasional sniffle or whimper from Rubedo, the white-haired boy put an arm around his sibling and offer a loose half-hug. The younger twin never dared to look at Rubedo's face, though, lest it induce Albedo to start crying all over again. Thus, both boys just stared straight forward, looking at nothing in particular while lost in thought and carrying heavy hearts. Despite his ponderings, Albedo still wanted to say something…anything that might put Rubedo's mind at ease. The middle Variant's mind may have been slightly cleared, but that was no reason for Rubedo's to be exempt. More than ever, the redhead needed some reassurance.
"Things will get better, Rubedo," Albedo's voice softly soothed into Rubedo's nearest ear. In a way, Albedo actually believed what he spoke, too. He and Rubedo had a way of surviving 'tough times' together, and who said now was any different? Nestling his head into his twin's crimson locks, Albedo breathed in softly and hopefully. "I'm sure of it."
Rubedo, on the other hand, felt his reddened puffy eyes widen at Albedo's nostalgic sentence. "I KNOW things will get better, Sakura." Another beadlike tear welled in the corner of Rubedo's eye closest to Albedo. The redhead told Sakura those same words mere days before she died. Rubedo dared to predict events would get better, and as if fate wished to prove him wrong, the exact opposite transpired. Sakura died, followed by the hellish PATHOS massacre, on top of the previously spiraling events of the past few months regarding Albedo's immortality. Now Albedo claimed 'things would get better.' Who was to say fate would not contradict those words again? What if something worse was just around the corner, only this time would involve the death of another loved one, maybe even…
"I hope so, Albedo," Rubedo prayed with all his heart, blocking out the disturbing possibilities of an uncertain future. Closing his eyes, the older brother nestled his head closer to his twin again as the final tear slid down Rubedo's raw cheek. He could only hope that Albedo's prediction came true, but regardless, the future could not change the past. Rubedo could never go back in time and stop himself from murdering his brothers, nor could he go even further back and rewrite the circumstances of his demonic existence.
He did not know why he was cursed with the Red Dragon mode, but the reasons did not matter. The bottom line was that Rubedo was a monster, one who finally accepted his dark tenebrous shadow. The Red Dragon was eternally Rubedo's responsibility, but something he swore to eventually control. Despite his slaughter of ten brothers, Rubedo managed to spare Albedo's life, and saving one life was better than saving none. Control was indeed within Rubedo's reach, he just needed to try harder. Rubedo certainly did not want to make the same mistake twice and be responsible for murdering more U.R.T.V. comrades.
"You're a lot stronger than you realize, Rubedo. Don't be scared."
Rubedo was scared. He never felt so frightened and broken before in his life. Every part of him, both physical and mental, ached, but he would not submit again. Sakura said he was strong, and thus, Rubedo would have to be strong. Somewhere, in the near future, Sakura's mother and little sister would be waiting for him. He would not let the Mizrahis down like he did to the 330-Units. And there was still Albedo and Nigredo, too. Remembering his brothers caused Rubedo to rest his head minutely closer to his twin's half-heart; a beating reminder of Rubedo's other responsibility to protect Albedo. Too many people loved and needed him, and Rubedo could not fail them. It was not just because he was the "leader"…it was because Rubedo wanted to protect them. Come hell or high water, an affair like The PATHOS Incident would not be repeated, not on Rubedo's count, anyway.
"Things will get better, Rubedo. I'm sure of it."
There was a saying that things got worse before they got better. Rubedo could only hope such would come true.
After all, the Descent Operation was just a month away.
- - - - -
THE END
- - - - -
A/N: The ending is sort of a bitch, isn't it? Rubedo and Albedo come to all these hopeful resolutions, but when you consider what happens a month later on Miltia…hehe…not-so-happy ending, I guess (but that's how I wanted it to end). Yes, this story intentionally foreshadows events long after "PATHOS" takes place, from the Conflict to Episode III. I hope you noticed some subtleties.
(A few more notes to throw out before you can breathe a sigh of relief that my babblings are over)
The first comment regards Albedo's "loophole." We all know what that loophole was come Episode II's end. However, the canon never explicitly states when Albedo starts formulating his scheme to die. Plain as day in Episode II, we know every fight between Jr. and Albedo was a set-up to ensure the immortal's "release." It's known that after U-DO's contamination, Albedo realized reconnecting with U-DO would make him vulnerable to the Red Dragon. The "loophole" topic in "PATHOS" was my idea that even before his contamination Albedo was slowly devising a plan to die. Bear in mind, of course, that in this story his scheme was in its infancy. The Conflict is like the "final piece to the puzzle" Albedo's scheme needed. My reasons for thinking these ways are as follows: After discovering his immortality, Albedo promptly digs graves, starting his obsession with death (before the Conflict). No evidence supports this, but I'm sure Albedo was not thinking only about his brothers' deaths during those grave diggings. Like in Chapter V, I wondered if Albedo also wanted to die with them. Such are my impressions, but I think they worked for this caliber of story.
Next regards Citrine and Nigredo. I certainly hope readers didn't find their last scene OOC. I know 668 and 669 are unemotional, but after witnessing their father killed, and them being 'closer' to Dmitri than most U.R.T.V.s, I couldn't picture Citrine and Nigredo not being a little upset. Nigredo and Citrine are serious, not heartless.
For the record, the final scene with Rubedo and Albedo was tough to write. Still, I loved the poetic irony of having Albedo comfort Rubedo (instead vice versa). I know those twins argue, but you can't tell me they'd deprive the other of comfort when needed (at least during this story's timeframe. 14+ years later is more debatable). Truly, I don't consider Rubedo and Albedo as different as they act come the video games' present. Jr.'s hotshot behavior often gives me the impression he doesn't always like to admit how alike he and Albedo are.
Final food for thought (for those who didn't notice): I feel inclined to mention the double meaning behind this fic's name. True, the title "PATHOS" was meant to represent the actual experiment's full name (Preemptive Ascendancy Testing Host Operational Simulation. No worse than KOS-MOS and MOMO's full names, right?). More over, the word "pathos" is Greek for "suffering" in relation to grief, piteousness, misery, and tragedy. "Pathos" is also used to classify works, such as literature, that evoke sadness/pity. I think that sums up this story quite well, don't you?
~ Special Thanks ~
(The beauty about "revised/re-mastered" versions is that the author can add things he/she was too afraid to include in the first release!). In the original release of this story, I didn't do any personal shout-outs for this fic, because I was too chicken to offend anybody (seriously, I was a nervous wreck when I first wrote this story: "first time jitters" and all that, but I'm definitely feeling more confident now). However, as I revised this story I realized I probably would've NEVER bothered to revise a story this huge without SOME support backing me up.
So while these thank-yous are totally belated, I feel inclined to express my boundless gratitude to two people. First thankies go to PrettyArbitrary for giving me some VERY helpful writing advice and indirectly inspiring me to polish and improve this entire fanfic. And last but certainly not least, my biggest thankies goes out to Sweet Sedaytion for arguably being the very reason why I kept going with this story in the first place. I've really enjoyed discussing this story with you guys and am eternally grateful for your support. You two have been too kind to me! ^_^
As for everyone else, thanks so very much to anyone who's read and/or reviewed this story. It was my pleasure writing "PATHOS," and I hope it was your pleasure to read it. I'd love any reviews on this story's finished product, too. Reviews for this particular story make me very happy! From Aiselne to you, thanks so much for reading!
- Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus