My first RukiaXRenji fic. Sort of OOC drunkness in the beginning, but anything goes when you're intoxicated, right?
The two childhood friends were leaving a surprise party that Matsumoto had planned for Toshiro's birthday. Of course, whenever "Matsumoto" and "party" were in the same sentence, there were always extremely large amounts of alcohol involved.
"I-ah think I luv you, Ruki" Renji blurted out, before tripping over…nothing, falling to the ground.
"Na-uh! Don't say thingsh like dat, pineapple head!" Rukia was as drunk (if not more) as him. "Ish true!, evar since we was children!"
"Dats…thanksh!" the small, petite girl said as she leaned against the brick wall of the local pub.
"Ya know wha…ya know wha we shud do!? We shud totally do it!" Renji, with the help from the aforementioned brick wall, was up off of his knees. Trying to crawl home wasn't the brightest idea at the time.
Rukia stopped rolling her drunken self on the wall and slowly forced her head upwards. "Wha!? Yu don't even know wha "it" is!"
"Do too! Masumoto was talkin bout it all night! It's when you…..wat she said waz…some type of pastry!?"
"I'd slap tha idiot out of ya if I wasn't incredibly drunk off of my arse righ naow." Rukia said.
Somehow the two managed to stumble themselves to Renji's apartment. Knowing that he would probably come back drunk, he left the door unlocked since it would take him entirely too long to unlock the door in the current state he was in.
Thanks to the rug he'd received from the world of the living (A beat up, old shag rug that Rukia got from the world of the living for him as a present) plus the shiny new hardwood floor that he had put in a few days ago, Renji had once again flopped onto the ground, this time with Rukia falling right after.
Her face nearly smashed into his, leaving their lips with barely enough room between them. Renji then kicked the door closed, causing Rukia to suddenly pop up. Before she could completely react to the noise, she was gracefully pulled down into what she would remember as "the sloppiest kiss in the history of forever". Then again, it was also her first.
One month later…
Rukia walked into Renji's office with a facial expression mixed with worry, and fear. She ignored his usual greeting and dropped a bomb.
"I'm pregnant"
"You're WHAT!?"
"Unohana-Taicho has informed me that I'm pregnant. About two weeks along."
"Pregnant…with a baby?!"
Renji was never a great talker. He had a real knack of saying the most idiotic things, this moment being a perfect example of it.
Rukia closed her eyes and sighed deeply, ignoring the less than stellar intellect of her companion. "Yes, Renji. A baby"
"…Is it mine?"
The sound of her foot colliding with his skull echoed throughout the 6th division's barracks, sending the lieutenant flying across the room.
"You're such an idiot! This is probably the most important thing we've ever spoken about, and all you do is ask if it's yours or not" Rukia flailed her arms into the air.
"Alright! Calm down, I get it!. This is just…shocking. We only did it that one time." Renji said, scratching the back of his head. "One time is all it takes" Rukia looked down at her stomach, and sighed.
"So…what do we do now?"
"I think it's important that you inform Nii-sama-"
"NO." Renji quickly retorted.
"Renji, it's probably best if you-"
"NO!"
"Ok. Explain to me why you wouldn't?"
"I don't know about you Rukia, but there's a little thing called LIVING that I'd like to keep doing for a few more centuries."
"So you're saying that…you're scared?"
"Oh nah, I'm not scared at all, Rukia. I'm just fine. I've gone and impregnated the younger sister of the head of a noble clan, who also happens to be my CAPTAIN!...Long story short, I got a Captain's sister drunk and knocked her up! I'm just great Rukia!." Renji let out an unusually nervous laugh while pacing back and forth.
Catching on to his sarcasm, Rukia stepped in front of him, grabbed his haori and pulled him into a short kiss. When their lips parted, Rukia lightly tapped the side of his face. "Idiot…fine. We'll tell him together"
"And when will that be?"
"When we've revised a plan to tell him that won't get you beheaded"
"…Ahh, shit"
Pilot chapter, pretty much. Might update soon, might not. Keep checking though, and read my other fics!