It's a PSOH fanfic! Yay! This idea popped out at me one day, so I had to write it down. This is gonna go quite slow for a while, but I can propbably speed it up in the next chapter or so. Here we go!

Count D stood solemnly still as he stared out the window. The typical sounds of his pet shop were gone, as each creature, both known and unknown to the modern man, tasted the anticipation in the air.

"Kyu!" squeaked Q-Chan, courageously breaking the silence. D glanced at the bunny bat creature resting on his shoulder. He scratched its chin.

"Yes, Q-Chan. It's today. The moment we have been waiting for is around the corner. We must prepare for its arrival right now."

***

"Yo, Count!" Leon Orcot yelled, the jingle of the shop's doorbell dying behind him.

"Ah, Detective Orcot, welcome! You're just in time to have some of this delicious cake! I didn't make this one, but it looks so yummy! The shop man said that this is the best ice cream cake in all of China Town!" The count came in, holding a large cake with a thick layer of icing on it.

"What the hell?! That's a huge cake! What's the freking occasion, it's not even tea time yet! Gosh, just looking at that would make a diabetic die…"

"Does it have to be tea time to enjoy something delicious?" D set the cake on a table, and went back to his kitchen to get small china plates. Orcot sat on the couch, observing the count. D was acting like his cheerful self, but… Something's not right…underneath that shell of happiness…what is he really feeling?

"Okay, so maybe it doesn't have tea time, but a whole ice cream cake? It doesn't seem cheap either, so why buy a cake for no reason?" He scooped a bit of the cake into his mouth. Damn, it's surprisingly good…

Count D smirked, making Orcot involuntarily shiver. "Why, we are celebrating of course. Today, the birth of something magnificent is about to happen."

"Ugh, what is it? Another dragon? I can't deal with another one of those…" A mental image played in his mind of a Godzilla-like thing terrorizing the city.

"Better. This creature is so rare, that this may be the absolute last one of its species. I have in my shop the very last known egg in the world…And it only has a few hours left before it is born."

***

"Eeek! Eeek!" Q-Chan squeaked in fear, interrupting a story being told by the detective.

"Jeesh, what the frick is that thing's problem? Hey, quiet down or else you're gonna get a mouthful of pillow!"

"My dear detective, don't you understand? It's hatching! Oh, I'm about to become a father!" Leon just stared at the Chinese man, who was practically dancing in his happiness. If he's so happy, why do I sense some…sadness, underneath? ...It's probably because the baby will think the count's a woman. He sure does look like one with all the freking dresses he wears!

"Wait a minute, father? Wow, you seem to be taking it all too literal. It's just another pet, right?"

Count glared rather coldly at the other male. "Detective Orcot, my pets are not just mere animals. They are companions who bring happiness and joy to the people. I not only sell friends for lonely people, I sell dreams and love."

Yeah. They're all fun and cuddly until they start eating their owner. What's that phrase? They bite the hand that feeds?

The count continued. "Besides, this one is rather special. There have been few seen in the wild, and even less in captivity. Getting this egg was not an easy or cheap matter. Plus, they take a very long time to hatch, so during the time spent in the egg, which could as long as decades, they must be taken great care of." The detective just looked on, uninterested in all that the count said.

"Oh, forget you! You're hopeless. I must see its hatching! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity!" Count D skipped down the hall, with Orcot reluctantly following him.

After walking through the seemingly endless hallway filled with hundreds of doors, they finally entered a great chamber, completely pitch black save for a small table and one heat lamp over a pearly, almost translucent gray egg about the size of a baseball. Wow. All this excitement for a fugly egg? The egg rocked back and forth quite energetically. Orcot noticed that it seemed to grow slightly bigger one second, and then shrunk the next. Must be the dark playing tricks on me…

"Oh, I'm about to become a father!" exclaimed Count D yet again. He was hopping on one foot, switching to the other quickly. Leon stared in disbelief. It's like Christmas for him…

KRAKK!! The egg released a sound more deafening than the fireworks of the fourth of July. A single, tiny shard of the shell, the size of a dime, fell off. The blonde man picked it up, and dropped it immediately. It was freezing, colder than a bucketful of ice cubes. What the… he could not finish his thought, as he was then blinded by a great light coming from the egg. It shook violently, rocking the whole table and causing the heat lamp to fall off and break. The detective crouched on the ground, shielding his eyes with one hand and reaching for his gun with the other. The count merely stood still with his signature mysterious smile on his face. His eyes told another story, though. Even though he was happy for the arrival of this magnificent creature, he was scared and filled with sorrow. This creature will have a more than difficult life, but he will not worry about that now. The count must be sure that it survives its hatching first.

Another flash of blinding light, another ear clashing crack, and then…nothing. Silence. Leon stood up carefully and looked at the table…or what was left of it. The legs were broken off so it now laid on the floor, a pile of wood and splinters. The egg shell laid beside it, looking more like jigsaw puzzle pieces. In the middle of them was a…blob. A gray, silly putty-looking blob. That freking thing caused all of this? It's uglier than the egg! The blob moved around a little, as if it was confused. The count kneeled down and carefully scooped the thing into his cupped hands.

"What the hell, D?! Not only is that thing not a creature, it's a freking weapon! Look what the frick it did! Just what the hell-" He stopped. The count held it the blob like he was cradling it, but that wasn't the reason why Leon stared gaping. The thing was glowing bright again. It wriggled and squirmed around, and it appeared to be growing limbs and a head. A few seconds later, the transformation was complete. In Count D's arms laid a naked human baby. It curled into a small ball against his chest and yawned, falling into a deep sleep.

"…What the…" Leon looked at D's face and gave a start. The count was crying. Not bawling, but a few tears dripped down his smooth, porcelain-like skin. Leon stood shocked. He has never seen the man cry, so he had no idea of what to do or say. He had no idea if they were tears of joy or of sadness, so he was still, unsure of what to do.

After a long pause of silence, D looked up at the American. "My dear detective, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid tea time is over. You must leave now."

"Uh…sure. Yeah. I have to go anyway. My shift starts soon, so…yeah…" Leon was about to say a few words more, but he then abruptly turned around and left the dark chamber. After finally finding his way out of the hallway, he found to his surprise that it was evening now, and what seemed like only thirty minutes was really about two hours. He cursed under his breath and ran out the door.

The count looked out the window, watching the detective sprint up the street. He sighed and closed the shop. After locking the door, the animals crept out of their rooms, treading quietly to the count, as if they were scared of the baby he still held in his arms.

T-Chan was the first to speak. "So, did it go well?"

"Yes, did it?" The little raccoon, Pon-Chan, asked.

Count D was silent as he glanced down at the sleeping child cradled in his arms. "Yes, I think so..." He walked to the couch and sat down carefully. The animals walked towards him and gathered around the child. T-Chan smirked. "She looks so weak, it seems impossible that all the commotion came from her."

D just held the baby, his new daughter, close to him. Again, he started crying, and as he did, the animals came closer to him and tried to comfort him while the moon rose up to the sky.

Alright, so it's weird right now, but hopefully it'll get better. Comments, questions? Click that review box and type something in then, please!

~Kimi, Gama-Kiwi