Disclaimer: I do not own this series. This was made for my personal entertainment, and I hope someone enjoys this nearly as much as I enjoyed writing this. I will be making each book a chapter.

The Baudelaire children, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny were on the beach. Sunny was throwing rocks at Klaus, who was screaming like a little girl. Violet was thinking of... stuff that's not mentionable. A shadowy figure walked up the beach toward them, and Sunny threw rocks at the figure.

"Ow" the figure said, getting hit in the head, then coming closer, revealing itself to be Mr. Poe.

"Oops" the three children said.

" Children, I have unfortunate news. Your parents have run away to join the circus- I MEAN, they were killed in a fire" Mr. Poe said. The Baudelaire orphans stared at him.

" You will now be living with a relative of yours named Count Olaf. He lives across town" Mr. Poe said simply, then grabbed the children and stuffed them into his car. He drove them straight to Count Olaf's. It was a beautiful house.

Justice Strauss stepped out and waved.

" Is this where we're living?" Violet asked.

" Nah, Olaf lives next door" Justice Strauss said. "You can come over whenever you want to" she added. The Baudelaires and Mr. Poe turned to the next house, which was a huge mansion. The front door was made of gold. The group walked over to the door, and knocked.

A tall man wearing gold shades, silver bling, and a big-ass furry coat opened the door.

" Yo, its the orphan kids! Great!!" Olaf exclaimed, dragging them all indoors. As the children and Mr. Poe looked around from where they were dragged inside, several playboy bunnies ran down from upstairs, and straight past them out the door.

" Aw damn the bunnies got out!!.. ah well, easily replaced" Olaf said. Then he threw Mr. Poe out and showed the kids to their room.

" Yo, orphans, you three stay here, I'ma gonna go get my bunnies back" Olaf said, then left the room. Sunny looked at Violet, Violet looked at Klaus.

" I was walkin' down the street... mhm. Goin' down the street holdin'... Holdin' a gun" at this point, Klaus started to beatbox, "I saw some crypts and bloods... They started shootin' at each other so I used my gun.. mhm! C'mon! I shot my gun at the old lady, she feel. I kept runnin', mhm. Runnin'. Mhm. Runnin', away... Aw.. YEAH!! Showin' ma teeth, they had griillzz...Nobody else..." Klaus rapped horribly, and then Sunny bit him.

" Klaus, why do you have to always come up with a bad rap? God.." Violet said. There was a slam of a door. "Ooh, Olaf's back!" Violet giggled. Sunny looked at her oddly. The orphans went downstairs. Olaf was surrounded by his playboy bunnies, but when the bunnies saw the Baudelaires, they rushed upstairs. Olaf turned and walked away into the kitchen.

After a few weeks, the orphans were bored, so they called up Mr. Poe.

" What's the matter, children?" he asked when he got there.

" We're bored and want a new guardian. It's not appropriate here" Klaus said, normally.

" I love it here!" Violet argued.

" Leave!" Sunny shrieked.

" We're staying!" Violet shouted.

" No way!" Klaus shouted back.

After a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, LONG argument, it was decided that the orphans would leave Olaf's, and go to a new guardian: Dr. Montgomery Montgomery.

If anyone feels offended by Sunny, Klaus, Violet or Count Olaf, I apoligize. This is written for amusement, not to offend. Read and review!! Enjoy!