Love never fails…

Oh, but she longed to tell James that years ago, when he allowed a single drop of remorse to penetrate into the depths of his soul, at that very moment all his past transgressions became nothing but a grain of sand in the vast ocean of God's unconditional love and mercy!

However, at times she felt as if she was stumbling against a wall of polite, deep-hidden resistance.

Sometimes that wall seemed to be made of cold slippery glass, and on some occasions (Thank God, they were rare!) it felt like deathlike cold lead, through which not a single ray of sunshine could come through.

And it left Wendy at a complete loss, because not even all her love and affection seemed strong enough to make a breech in that wall.

Or, to use another metaphor, to shift that stumbling block.

After all those years of useless efforts ,she finally came to realization that God was probably the only One to do this job…

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Mum, are you all right?

Wendy opened her eyes to find Jane gently touching her sleeve with an anxious look.

-Yes, honey, only got carried away for a moment.

Are you sure you're feeling well?

I'm fine, kitten, never mind. Go back to your place – the Evangel will be read in a moment!

Ok, I'm going, mum!

Jane gave her a quick nod of understanding before disappearing. Wendy gathered herself together and stood still, regaining perfect composure.

The Rector came to the pulpit.

His articulate words were now piercing the air:

10

Now it happened, as Jesus sat at the table in the house, that behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat down with Him and His disciples.

11

And when the Pharisees saw it, they said to His disciples, "Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?"

12

When Jesus heard that, He said to them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.

13

But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy and not sacrifice.' For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.

All of a sudden Wendy froze on the spot, like Lot's wife.

I desire mercy, not sacrifice…

These simple and familiar words were now echoing in her mind like tolling bells, taking her breath away.

I desire mercy, not sacrifice…

At last the clue to her family's riddle was found!

What if I am to be blamed? What if the reason for all this is nobody but myself? Could it be that underneath all my eloquent reasoning there was nothing but injured pride and vanity of a righteous and magnanimous "doer of good deeds"?

Oh, but it was pleasant, indeed, to be considered by the society "a light in the darkest shadow" and the fair savior of mankind – or just a certain black-hearted villain from her childish tales…

Mercy, not sacrifice…

And though her love for James was genuine, did she never, ever, somewhere in the faraway drawers of her mind, thought of their marriage as a sort of sacrifice? Hadn't she sometimes indulged certain self-pitiful thoughts about having sacrificed all – her youth, her innocence, her credulousness, her former family life and her now long gone childish dreams of a faraway land – for his sake?

Not to mention her letting go of the first and most pure attachment and turning to the man 23 years her senior…

Love doesn't seek its own…

And what my own hidden motives had been? What if in my persistent zeal to push James towards the Light I was being selfish, not loving? If I thought more of my own feelings than of his? If only…

Mercy, not sacrifice…

A tide of shame was gradually overcoming her.

If You, O Lord, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with You.

For His mercy is abundant towards us; and the truth of the Lord endures for ever.

Without a second thought Wendy slowly went down on her knees, The image of Holy Virgin was at its usual place, but now the eyes of Our Lady, the Most Merciful of all women in history, seemed to be looking straight into Wendy's soul, their expression emanating empathy, as ever

All my hopes I set upon You ,oh, Holy Mother of God, Wendy whispered , please, keep us all under Your protection..

Suddenly there was a slight noise behind her.

Exhausted by her inner turmoil, Wendy Moira Angela Stuart abruptly turned around.

Behind her back, not far away from the entrance, she saw the kneeling figure of her husband…

I surpass the Publican in transgressions,

but do not even compete in his repentance.

I have not accomplished the good deeds of the Pharisee,

yet I boldly out-do his boasting.

By Your infinite humility, O Christ God

through which You laid low the high-minded demons on the Cross,

establish in me the good deeds of the one,

and the humility of mind of the other,

confirming in me the good intentions of each,//

and save me, O Savior!

When the Stuart family descended the ancient stairs of the church, the midday sun was shining cheerfully on the forget-me-not blue cloudless sky.

Everyone was aware that it was only the beginning of something new, and the journey before them was to be by no means an easy one.

Still, the milestone was passed already. And a sense of relief was quite pleasant for everyone.

Unexpected joy, indeed.

Jane was looking at her parents with radiant eyes, still unaware of the fact that she was to remain their single child for less than a year.

The stumbling block, which no mortal could ever shift, was now gone forever.

Spring has come at last…