Ash is possessed…kind of. No, it's not the king of pokelantis again. This time it's Carl Parker: an optimistic, random kid who's actually living in Ash's mind. Pokeshipping. Rated T for language. R&R! NO FLAMBING!
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Chapter One: Candy Has A Pretty Terrifying Ending Ratio Of No Eggs. I have absolutely no idea what that means, but the point is the capitals of all the words in that sentence spell out chapter one and that makes it cool.

It seemed like a normal day for Ash Ketchum. Which, of course, made it anything but normal. You know, he had the usual be woken up at the crack of dawn by his friend who was actually named Dawn, have breakfast, which was cooked by his friend Brock who somehow knows how to make food and cooking supplies and tables all appear out of thin air, and then of course the c'mon-they've-done-this-like-a-frickin'-thousand-times-before-and-it's-getting-really-old-now-can't-they-just-get-a-car-for-goodness-sakes traveling off to some other town and finding some kind of pokémon and/or trainer that was in distress and then rescuing them by battling team rocket somehow and learning some kind of lesson along the way that was explained in explicit detail by the narrator.

You get all that? If not, let's just say that he did the same stuff he had been doing every episode for the last 12-or-something years. Yeah. These people need to get some new script-writers. I guess it's up to us fanfic writers to actually make it a good show. I don't think we get given enough credit. Without us, the show probably would be canceled. Probably half the people who watch Pokémon®, tm, ©, and the rest only watch it to keep up with the fanfic. I know that's the reason I watch it. That, and just to make fun of the main characters and root for the bad guys. TEAM ROCKET OWNS!!!!! Oh, except Giovanni. And Burt-

"IT'S BUTCH!!!!! BUTCH!!!! NOT BURT!!!!!"

Right, sorry. And Butch and…whoever he's paired with. And pretty much everyone else except Jessie, James, and Meowth. They're pretty much the only cool guys in the show.

See what kind of a person I am? I can start out talking about waking up at dawn and end up talking about Team Rocket. I can do way more than that, though. I once went from talking about my glasses to talking about fast food. True story.

Then, when Ash and Crew stopped at a pokémon center for some unexplained reason, Ash got a call from Professor Oak.

"Hey, Professor, what's up?"

"Oh my gosh!" Dawn said. "It's the pokémon poet guy!"

"Ignore her. So, what did you call for?"

"Well, Ash," Oak said, "I've just found a very peculiar object." The Professor held up a glowing blue vase with blue kind of strings moving around it.

"It doesn't seem very dangerous," the Professor said, "so I was thinking you might want to come over and have a look. You could bring your friends over too. I'm sure everyone would love to see you again. It has been a while since you paid us a visit."

"Yeah," Ash said, "sure, I'll come over! It'll be good to see everyone again!"

"Okay, I'll see you here, Ash! Bye!" Professor Oak hang up, and so did Ash.

"Alright," Ash said, "we're going to Pallet!"

"Cool!" Brock said. "It'll be great to see everyone again!"

"And I can finally meet the pokémon poet guy in person!!!" Dawn said.

"Yeah…" said Ash, looking at Dawn, "Brock, remind me to duct tape Dawn's mouth shut when we go to Professor Oak's."

"Wait-what?"
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And so, in a few days the three of them were in good ol' Pallet town.

Ash opened the door to his house. "I'm home!"

"Ash!" Ash's mother, what's-her-face, went up and kissed her son.

"Welcome home, sweetie!"

"Hey, Ash!"

"Huh?" Ash looked up to see Misty standing on the stairs.

"Hey, Mist." Misty blushed at being called "Mist".

Pretty soon Ash was sitting at the dinner table with everyone. There was Professor Oak, Tracey, Gary, even Misty's sisters had made it (to Misty's despair)!

"Thanks so much, you guys!" Ash said.

"No problem!" said Tracey. "It's great to have you back!"

"So, Professor," Brock said, "you said you had something to show us."

"Oh, yes. Well, you see, I found it one day when I was doing some research out in the woods. It doesn't seem to do anything, but I got a strange feeling in my head when I touched it, as if someone was searching me. But it was only the first time."

"That's weird," Ash said, "I can't wait to see it!"

"So, Ash," Misty said, "how have your travels been going?"

"Oh, It's been great!" Ash said. "I've beaten the battle frontier, and now I'm on my way through the Sinnoh league!"

"What about you, Dawn?" Tracey said. "Ash tells us you're a coordinator."

"Oh, yeah, I'm trying to become a top coordinator and compete in the grand festival!"

Misty just kind of glared at Dawn. She didn't seem to really like her that much.

After a lot of eating and talking, Ash went up to Oak's lab along with Misty, Tracey, and pretty much everyone else except what's-her-face and Misty's sisters.

"Here it is," Oak said, show everyone the strange vase he had found. It looked the same as when Ash had seen it before. A glowing dark blue, with strange strings moving around it.

"You can touch it," Oak said. "It doesn't do anything."

Misty went and picked it up.

"How does it feel?" Dawn asked.

"Weird," Misty said. "Just like the Professor said. As if somebody's search through my mind for something."

"Lemme see," Ash said. Misty handed the vase to him.

Ash had the same feeling Misty had described. Then, without warning, the vase exploded into pieces.

Everyone gasped. Ash yelled as the strange blue strings that had been moving around the vase started wrapping themselves up his arms, moving towards his head. Then, they all started going into his head!

Ash screamed and fell to his knees in agony. The pain was unbearable. It felt like someone was cracking his head open like a bottle, and putting something inside.

He grabbed his head and tried to stop the strings, but his hands just went right through them. Then, suddenly, the pain stopped.

Ash lay on the ground, sweating. It had gone as soon as it had come.

"Ash," Misty said, kneeling beside him and putting her hand on his shoulder. "What happened?"

"I dunno," Ash said. "It's over."

"Do you feel…different?"

"No…not really. Except I do feel more optimistic now. And mischievous. I feel a bit mischievous too."

"Professor," Dawn said worriedly, "what happened?"

Misty gave Dawn the finger, making sure nobody noticed.

Hold up a second! Just kind of pause that in your mind for a minute. The finger. Who invented the finger? Did someone just get in an argument and just go "You know what? You make me so mad, I just…I just wanna…POINT AT YOU!!!!! JUST LOOK AT MY FINGER AND YOU WILL SEE!!!!!"

And what did they do before the finger? "SLAP MY BACK!!!!!"? Anyways…

"I'm not sure," Professor Oak said. "We could all touch it without anything happening. But the minute Ash touched it…"

"It exploded," Gary finished, picking up one of the pieces. "So much for selling this on EBay."

"What do you think those strings were?" Tracey said. "Brock?"

Brock seemed to be in deep thought. "I wonder…" Brock told everyone the story about the king of pokelantis, and how he had possessed Ash and gotten kicked out by pikachu because apparently he couldn't afford the rent. I guess being an evil king doesn't really make a stable income.

"Oh my god…" Misty looked at Ash worriedly. "Ash, do you think this could be it again?"

"No," Ash said, "that time the effect was immediate. I don't feel anything this time. Nothing's changing. I mean, it's not like he would just hang around in head for a few weeks and just give me headaches and then one day just decide to tell me he's there, but not actually possess me for a bit so I would be prepared instead of being taken by surprise."

"Please, Ash," Misty said, "not even Team Rocket's that stupid."

Everyone looked at Misty. "Okay, maybe they are, but still…

"That's weird," Dawn said.

"Still, though," Brock said, "one of us should keep an eye on Ash all the time, just in case something happens.

"I can do that," Misty and Dawn both said at the same time. Misty glare at Dawn. Dawn just gave a nervous smile.

"Uh…Okay, how about you look after him, Misty. You've known him longest."

"Thanks," Misty said, not really meaning it.

They all went home. When Ash's mother asked what had taken them so long, they told them about what had happened with the vase.

"Oh my goodness! Ash, are you alright?"

"Yeah," he said, "I'm fine. I just need some rest. I'll be up in my room."

Ash went up to his room and went to sleep. Misty sat next to him, to see if anything strange happened.

Something strange would happen, but she would have no idea about it.