Something More: Chapter 1: Harry

Harry sat on his leather sofa, feeling extremely sorry for himself. It was all he had done for the past 6 weeks. He had only emerged from his living room to eat, drink, shower and use the toilet. Just what was necessary to keep living. He sat on his small round couch, reliving the day he and Ginny had ended.

That was exactly what had happened. They had ended. They would never be the same again. They couldn't exist as one anymore. She loved someone else, and he would never be healed. He would never be whole.

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Harry remembered that day just as well as the day he defeated Voldemort. It had started just like any other day. He'd woken up at six in the morning, to find Ginny resting peacefully beside him. He'd smiled at her calm breathing and the way her small chest rose and fell quietly.

He'd headed to the bathroom, where he'd used the toilet, brushed his teeth, and taken a quick shower. He emerged with a towel around his waist and a clean shaven face. He'd headed towards the kitchen where he'd made himself some eggs and sat down at the table with the Daily Profit and a cup of coffee.

Since the fall of Voldemort, Harry had been surrounded by women. Everywhere he turned, there were women, asking for his autograph or begging for a kiss on the cheek. Harry, being the gentlemen and the shy man that he was, always politely refused.

But worse than the constantly nagging women, was Rita Skeeter. She had tried, numerous times, to write ridiculous stories about Harry having children with numerous Ministry officials or partying at Wizard strip clubs. But, since the Ministry had so much influence on The Prophet, and Harry new the Minister very well, he very occasionally had to worry about Ginny thinking he was cheating on her.

After breakfast, Harry proceeded back to the bedroom. When he stopped outside the door to stare at the clock on the fireplace mantel, he could have sworn he saw movement on the other side of the door. But when he entered the room, he found Ginny lying back quietly, breathing a little faster than when he'd gone to the bathroom.

He found it very weird that Ginny would pretend to be asleep when he entered the room and that was when he first began to worry. But, he realized he would be late for work so he dressed quickly and completely forgot about Ginny's weird behavior.

Harry went to work and became very involved with his papers. He had recently caught a wanted wizard, and had to write a report about the crime, and the capture. He wasn't reminded of Ginny until he realized the time. He'd been so involved with his work that he'd forgotten he was supposed to meet Ginny at the Leaky Cauldron for lunch, and it was already 12 o'clock in the afternoon.

Harry jumped up from his desk, grabbed his coat and apparated to Diagon Alley. He hoped that Ginny wouldn't be angry, because he was at leasthalf an hour late. But when he entered the pub, Harry was surprised to see that Ginny wasn't there. He sat down in a booth and ordered a butterbeer. Harry thought about the last time Ginny had been late for a date. He scanned back through 2 years of a relationship, and realized that Ginny had never been late before. That was when he began to worry.

He thought of possible reasons why Ginny hadn't shown up. Perhaps she had caught a cold? Or overslept? But neither of those seemed like Ginny, for she was very immune to sicknesses and almost never slept past 10. That was when Harry began to imagine the worst. Because he was an auror, Harry had many enemies in the wizarding world. They were often family of someone he had put in Azkaban, or followers of Voldemort who had slunk into corners to hide. He had received many threatening letters and had many times thought of ending his relationship with Ginny because he was afraid for her.

Harry jumped up from the booth, and dropped 6 sickles on the table. He sent a patronus to his boss, telling him that he wouldn't be back in to work that day because he was worried about Ginny. Not two seconds later, he apparated to his apartment, to see if Ginny was there.

He was met by a strange sight. Ginny's clothes lay all over the floor. Her suitcase, the one he had bought her before they vacationed to America, was open on the floor. Harry headed to the bedroom and gazed through the opened door. Ginny sat on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands. Harry felt like screaming. Things were about to change and he could already feel it.

"Ginny?" he asked, tentatively. She hesitated for a moment, and then raised her head from her hands. "H-H-Harry...?" Ginny stuttered over her words.

Harry sat on the bed next to her. "What's wrong?" he asked. Ginny seemed to ponder her answer for a minute, but then she stood up fast and ran into the kitchen. There, she began to throw her clothes into her suitcase. Harry followed her out and then it hit him. "Are you... leaving?" he asked.

Ginny didn't answer but instead ran into the bedroom and grabbed a drawer from the chest by the window. Harry just stood in the kitchen speechless.

"Yes," she said. 'I'm leaving."

Harry tried to speak, but his lips couldn't form words. His hands lay limply at his sides, and Ginny went back for another drawer. When she returned, Harry had strength enough for one word. "Why?"

At this Ginny began to cry. She wasn't sobbing, but instead the tears fell slowly and quietly. She sat in criss-cross apple sauce on the floor, and lowered her head into her hands again. Harry kneeled beside her, and put his arm around her shoulders. She let his arm rest there for less than a minute, but then she shrugged it off.

"I don't want to hurt you," she said.

"I don't understand," Harry told her.

"Harry...," Ginny stopped talking and Harry tried to wrap his arms around her waist, but she pulled away from him.

"I'm not going to lead you on...because....because...this has to end."

Harry couldn't breathe. A thousand thoughts ran through his mind at once but he couldn't follow a single one. He closed his eyes and took deep, steadying breaths to calm himself, but he felt like he would feint. Why? He wondered. But he couldn't bring himself to say it again.

Ginny continued to pack away her things and Harry sat in a chair to keep from falling over. They said nothing. Ginny finally finished packing and began to zip up her suitcase. She stood up from her crouch and grabbed the suitcase.

"Goodbye," she said. Harry stood up and tripped over his chair.

"I have to know...why," he managed to stutter.

Ginny sighed. "Fine," she said. "I'm in love... with someone... else."

Harry could only say "Who?"

"You don't want to know."

"Yes I do," Harry begged.

Ginny sighed again and said "Dean. Dean Thomas."

She turned to leave, but Harry ran after her and twisted her around by the arm. He took her face in his hands, and shoved his lips against hers. His threw himself at her forcefully and tried to make her see that they belonged together. Ginny didn't respond. She pushed him away with thin fingers on his chest. His eyes were still closed, and she whispered quietly "I'm sorry. I didn't feel anything."

And then she left.

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Harry pulled his mind away from that day and sighed. He got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen. He pulled open the refrigerator door, grabbed a coke from the top shelf and sat himself at one of the stools by the sink and took a sip.

A single tear fell from his eyes. He swore to himself that this was his first and last tear. He hadn't cried over Ginny-he'd only moped around- and he wasn't doing to start now.

But it wasn't that easy, and soon, he was lying on his bed, sobbing pitifully. It was strange to him, because he wasn't a man to show his emotions, but he couldn't seem to stop.

When he was finally done crying, Harry propped himself up on his pillows. He wondered if he could ever be happy again. It felt like he was missing part of his identity. Part of his mind and part of his soul.

He wondered if he could ever love again. If someone would mean something to him again. If the world could mean something once more.

"Never," he said. "Never again."