Moshi moshi! This is I can proudly say this is the third Bleach Fable Tale in the series. [For those who don't know what I'm talking about, can check out my profile that talks about the other two] You know, they're supposed to be relatively short. But with each new one they keep getting longer and longer—no go! No go!

*sigh* What can I do? There's no way I could shorten this one… it' wouldn't be as entertaining. Let me tell you one thing—I have a weird sense of humor—talking about completely random things put together that aren't supposed to be funny but—I find myself cracking myself up over it…. Yeah. I put all of my personality into this one. I was going through a tough depressing time when writing this too… Ugh man, I struggled so much with this one… damn…

Oh, I hope you readers, find this entertaining and I really won't be surprised if many of you start thinking, "WTF?!" several times over and over again. Music. Peace. Love. Enjoy.

- Zerolr -

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. All rights go to Tite Kubo.

Whose the Greatest?!

Part I

Oh, why hello there! I'm Ukitake Juushiro, Captain of the 13th squad of Gotei 13 that resides here in Soul Society. I personally would like to take this time to thank you for coming over to visit me. I have a small fever and I fell a little dizzy but I'm feeling much better thanks to your presence. Hmm, now how can I repay you for your kindness?—Oh yes, yes. This will do. Would you like to hear a story? I heard that Renji told you all about Rukia's oatmeal. Mmm, yes it was very delicious, however, I never knew that it would go that far… The fad died down, and every one has returned to normal. It seems like you enjoy stories, so here is mine. It's not as extravagant as Renji's but I hope you enjoy it all the same…

It has started yet again. The bickering, the yelling the arguing that epic babbling of Kiyone and Sentaro. Captain Ukitake was in his room next door sleeping, when their squabbling woke him up.

"I will deliver the Captain's letter."

"In your dreams Kiyone—those are TOP priority and YOU are worth diddly squat!"

"Fuck you, ass face!"

"Bitch on wheels!"

"You can't score, monkey-butt!"

"Yes I can, flipper-face!"

"What the hell was that, dick-wad!"

"Foo-foo brain!"

"Retarded goat!"

"Peanut butter la-la!

"Fat-ass wanna be shinigami!"

"Popcorn table!"

"Soul Society REJECT!"

Sentaro doubled up and stepped back a bit swayed by that last score, "Shut up, you, retarded Pikachu!"

"Grr—you, you—,"

"Enough please stop," the door slid open to reveal a very weary, and tired Ukitake.

"Captain!" they both cried at once.

"It's alright, that letter doesn't have to be delivered anytime soon," the white haired captain sighed, "Now that I'm awake, I might as well get to work."

"See with your banshee screeching you woke the Captain up from his nap!" roared Sentaro.

"What are you talking about?" Kiyone scoffed shrugging her shoulders, "Your inhuman gorilla growl will stir anybody awake."

Ukitake hobbled off desperate to escape the new argument that was brewing.

"Well, well, you think you're nice—eh Banana Fluff!"

"Oh come on! All your comebacks SUCK! I don't even feel offended anymore."

"That's because you can relate to them—HAH! Gotcha bitch!"

Kiyone yelped and pressed her lips together unable to say anything at the moment.

"Sentaro, can you carry these boxes for me?" called Ukitake from his office.

"Yes Captain," Sentaro whirled around to face Kiyone, "It doesn't matter how good you are in the beginning or even through the middle—I got the last laugh and that's what matters," Sentaro leaned right into Kiyone's face, "HAH!" And with that, he skipped off.

"You fuckin gay tootsie roll," she grumbled while fighting back the urge to cry.

How horrible—I wasn't aware that their rivalry was THAT serious. If I had known that Sentaro treated Kiyone that way I would have severely chastised him. *Sigh* But then again I fall into the same circle. I reprimand Sentaro for his behavior and then Kiyone puffs up and then I would have to correct her. And they go at each other again, and again, and again, and again. It's come to the point that I've decided to just stay out of it. Ehhhh, but this is not helping either. There has to be some way to make this stop.

End Chapter