A Breach of Spirit Detective Law! Scientist Hojo Appears

by Cookie Heist

Summary: Yusuke, Botan, and Kuwabara were sent by Koenma to the remote village of Nibelheim, on a mission to investigate a high demon energy reading in the area. They found Nibelheim abandoned, except for a few men in black cloaks speaking of a mysterious "reunion." Our three heroes followed Yusuke's Demon Compass to an old mansion at the edge of town, only to become separated inside!
Genre: Crossover
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mild language, mild fantasy violence
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all of its characters and monsters belong to Square Enix, whereas Yu Yu Hakusho and its characters belong to Yoshihiro Togashi. I totally made up the Living World Pact for Experimental Ethics, though.

Notes: I blame straziante(LJ) for this. The original idea was Hojo x Kuwabara, but that was way too creepy for me to even begin to try to write, so it's more like Kuwabara and Hojo interacting. Now, thanks to this site's decision to finally be kind to crossovers, it's getting uploaded!
It's been a while since I've written Kuwabara, and my Hojo is still kinda iffy, so I hope it's up to snuff. I attempted to make this feel like an episode of Yu Yu Hakusho, but I'm not sure how well I succeeded. And although the tilte is based on the style of the Japanese episode titles, my characterizations are based on Funimation's dub because that's what I'm most familiar with.

"HEY! Kuwabara!!" Yusuke called, hands cupped around his mouth to help the sound carry farther.

"Lost, in this creepy place..." Botan sounded distressed. "Oh, we have to find him. I know we will! Kuwabara!"

A beeping noise echoed down the dimly-lit hallway, catching Botan by surprise. "What was that? … Oh, it's only the Communication Mirror. Silly me." She fished it out of her pocket and flipped it open. "Lord Koenma!"

Yusuke squinted at the toddler on the screen. "Koenma! This better be good. We're kinda busy here."

"Pay attention, Yusuke. This is big. We've identified the perp, and he's not a demon at all!"

A photograph of the warped face of an aging man appeared on the Communication Mirror's screen. "His name is Hojo, and he's a scientist employed by the Shin-Ra Company. He's been conducting a series of heinous experiments behind the government's back. His specialty? Super-humans enhanced by demon energy."

"So all that energy is coming from his lab," Yusuke decided.

"Most likely, yes. But be careful, Yusuke."

"Got it. C'mon Botan, we gotta find Kuwabara before he becomes a guinea pig!"

Seated at his desk in Spirit World, Koenma sighed. "Yusuke… You took off before I could tell you. This isn't an ordinary human. There's a possibility that Hojo could have experimented on himself as well."

"But what's that mean for Yusuke?" the blue ogre standing at Koenma's side asked.

"It means he's in trouble, you big blue idiot! All that demon energy could be Hojo's own!"

&&&

Aww man…A chill ran down Kuwabara's spine as he squinted at the things suspended in the tubes of glowing green liquid that loomed out of the darkness. This place gives me a serious tickle feeling. I bet it's crawlin' with ghosts and spirits and stuff.

A slight noise behind him sent him whirling around, only to find himself blinking fruitlessly into darkness so complete that he couldn't make out the outlines of the objects in front of him.

"All right, whatever you are, I know you're there so come out!" Kuwabara hollered.

A high, cruel laugh rang out from somewhere in the shadows. The hair on the back of his neck standing on end, Kuwabara turned back to the glowing green tubes and took a defensive stance. "Spirit Sword!"

There was the hiss of a match being struck, and then a man stepped forward into the pool of orange light cast by the Spirit Sword, lighting the candlesticks on the table now visible nearby.

For the first time, every grim detail of the room was visible, and Kuwabara had to blink rapidly several times to adjust his vision to the light.

Before him was a man, past his prime in age but not feeble, with sallow skin and unkempt dark hair that was beginning to come loose from its ponytail. He was dressed in a white lab coat and he wore wire-framed glasses.

He didn't look like a ghost or a demon, but there was something about looking at him that made Kuwabara's skin crawl.

The man leaned forward, scrutinizing him. "Interesting…"

Kuwabara raised his Spirit Sword higher. "Hey, who're you callin' interesting?!"

"What materia are you using?"

"Materia? Listen, I don't know what the heck you're talking about, but you better back off!"

"I suppose I shouldn't have expected someone of merely average intelligence to understand. The source of your power. Something like this." The man took what looked like a large glass marble out of his lab coat pocket. "What kind are you using? What's the source of your power?"

"Like I'm telling you!" Kuwabara charged forward with a battle cry.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the marble—no, the materia—in the man's hand glow.

Kuwabara swung forward, readying a blow of the Spirit Sword that would definitely knock the guy unconscious, only to find that he couldn't move. His arms were frozen mid-swing, and his feet were planted to the ground.

"Wha? What the heck are you tryin' to do?!"

"A Stop spell. Why don't you and I talk this over reasonably, and I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement. You have the rare opportunity to make a valuable contribution to science."

Ugh, I hate creepy scientist guys…Kuwabara thought. Gotta move before he tries to make me donate a kidney or something.

"Surely you've heard of me. Professor Hojo, the genius behind the SOLDIER modification process."

Despite being unable to move any of his limbs, Kuwabara collected a volume of saliva in his mouth and spat. "Pyaah. I haven't heard bunk."

Hojo looked with disdain at the saliva, which had flown past him and landed on the floor. "Such an infantile defense mechanism.

"If I were to judge by appearance, I would say you are a normal human. But then there's this."

Kuwabara followed the scientist with his eyes, hoping that he wouldn't move out of his line of sight.

Hojo approached the arm that held the Spirit Sword, and Kuwabara realized that the Stop spell was keeping him from shutting off the flow of spirit energy to his arms. Would his body just keep channeling spirit energy until he couldn't any longer and he passed out, making it impossible for him to get away? He had to figure out how to break the spell.

Hojo reached out and touched the Spirit Sword gingerly. He seemed unperturbed by the cut that formed on the tip of his finger as he tested its edge. He studied the little beads of blood that pooled to the surface. "A blade made of pure energy that cuts with precision. Useful. And you claim not to be using materia to generate it. Fascinating indeed." He took another materia from his pocket, this one a pale green color, and activated it. Before Kuwabara's eyes, the blood retreated backwards into the cut, and the skin of Hojo's finger sealed itself together without any scar or mark to show that it had ever been injured.

Hojo took a few steps closer, much to Kuwabara's protests. The scientist took Kuwabara's chin in one hand, adjusting its angle so that the immobilized carrot top had no choice but to look him in the eyes.

"Get your hands off me!"

"It would seem that you're one of those stubborn samples. Your talk will accomplish nothing. Claims must be backed up by data."

Hojo pried open one of Kuwabara's eyes using two fingers. Partly by reflex and partly out of refusal to cooperate, Kuwabara squinted and rolled the eye at an odd angle.

"As convenient as it would be to cease your complaining and your moving about, immobilizing all of your muscles would result in your death, and that would be a waste at such an early stage of research. So if you would do your best to be cooperative…

"Your irises show no sign of past mako infusion, but a blood test is the only way to be sure."

"Hey, wait a minute! You're not sticking me with any needles!"

Hojo laughed. "What position are you in to protest? But I am inclined to agree. Testing you for mako would be a waste of time, yielding predictably uninteresting results. I would like to see that sword of yours in action. If it were possible to make use of the virtual-reality Training Facility in Midgar, I could collect better combat data, but alas, sacrifices must be made. The Stop spell should be wearing off soon. These are real monsters you will be facing, with their strength enhanced by mako energy. Their poison is quite potent; I'd avoid it if I were you."

Hojo stepped back, pushing a button on two of the glowing green tubes. The liquid began to drain from them, and a side of the glass wall swung open. Out stepped two large, doglike creatures, each with something long and thin protruding from between its shoulder blades. It reminded Kuwabara of a jellyfish tentacle. The green liquid shone wet and sticky on their black-furred hides. At first they looked confused, and Kuwabara drew a sigh of relief. Then they raised their heads, catching his scent, and he gulped. "Come on, stupid spell thing, break!"

The two dog monsters circled him, growling. One lunged forward, snapping its jaws and lashing with its tentacle, and just when Kuwabara knew he was done for, he felt a tingle in his arms and legs. "Yeah! I can move! Kuwbara the Man is back in action!"

The monster leaped at him, and he knocked it back with a swing of the Spirit Sword. It hit the wall with a whimper, but got to its feet again.

Kuwabara turned to the second one. It also leaped for his throat, but he twisted his arm, aiming the sword into its belly. It hung there on the end of his sword, four legs peddling pathetically, while the other monster prepared to charge him. "Sword, get longer!" he ordered, and it did, extending into the remaining monster. With an upward slash, he cut them both neatly into pieces. Their bodies fell to the floor, disintegrating into flecks of blue-green light.

Kuwabara deactivated his Spirit Sword. "Ha! Piece of cake!"

"I've been able to collect some very interesting data. But how would that power of yours fare against a first class SOLDIER operative?" Hojo queried.

"A soldier what? Sorry old man, no more tests."

The scientist smirked. "As a sample, it is not your job to determine the course of the experiment. This will be easier if you just let me do the thinking for you."

"Are you calling me stupid?!" Kuwabara demanded. "Just hold still while I smash your face in!"

Hojo sidestepped, activating the Stop materia again. "Your brain displays an unfortunately low capacity to take in and react to new information. Are you sure you're human?"

"Why I oughta…" Kuwabra growled, once again immobilized.

"Hurry up, Botan, I heard him over here!" A young male voice came echoing down the hallway, along with the clatter of running footsteps.

"Urameshi!" Kuwabara exclaimed.

Yusuke skidded into the small underground laboratory room, closely followed by Botan. "Kuwabara! What're you doin' standing there like a statue?"

"Don't worry about me. It's some kind of weird spell. Wears off after a while. That's gotta be our guy. He's some kind of freaky mad scientist."

"Hee hee hee, two more specimens with unusually high energy levels," Hojo cackled. "I must say you've piqued my interest."

Botan looked appalled, and Yusuke snapped, "You know, old man, you've got the right to remain silent."

"Yes sir," Botan jumped in. "You, Professor Hojo, are under arrest for violation of the Living World Pact for Experimental Ethics."

"I was not informed of the existence of such a pact," Hojo replied calmly. "What does it entail?"

Botan seemed taken aback. "It was agreed upon… several millennia ago, when the rulers of Demon World agreed that the use of humans from the Living World in spirit energy experiments was not to be permitted unless the humans had wandered across the Keikai Barrier…"

Hojo's eyes narrowed in thought. "And by whose authority was my arrest ordered?"

"Why, Koenma's, of course," Botan replied, wondering how anyone could commit such a flagrant violation of inter-dimensional law and be so ignorant of it.

"And now you're facing Yusuke Urameshi, detective of the Spirit World," Yusuke put in. "Remember, we report directly to the Big Man Upstairs."

Hojo turned his back on the investigators, striding towards the back of the room. "The trouble with your 'Big Man' is, I don't believe in him. Legends of King Yama. They don't hold up to scientific scrutiny. All of your king's wrath can be explained away by plate tectonics."

"How dare you say such a thing!" Botan cried.

"You're behind the times. The scientist is god and the SOLDIERs and Sephiroths are his chosen creation."

"Hey, what the hell are you talking about?!" Yusuke roared.

Hojo rapidly punched numbers into a keypad on the wall. "I look forward to seeing you again, Detective."

"Spirit Gun!" A blast of energy shot through the air, aimed to hit Hojo in the back of the head and incapacitate him, but it never connected. An electric shock threw Yusuke off balance causing the shot to fly wide, ricocheting off the ceiling. "Yaah! Robots!"

Kuwabara's Stop spell had worn off. "Must've sicced 'em on us."

"There's a swarm of them!" Botan slapped aside the red saucer-like robots with her oar.

With Spirit Gun, Spirit Sword, and oar, the three managed to destroy the relatively weak but numerous attack robots.

Stepping over the piles of scrap metal, Yusuke looked around. "Hey scientist guy! Where'd you go?!"

Botan looked around as well. "There was nowhere for him to have escaped to…"

Kuwabara swallowed. "Man, I've got a bad feeling about this."