A/N: It's been a long time, I know. But I'm just going to leave this here. Do with it what you will.

Chapter 10 - Dates & Breakdowns

"Harry," said Draco as something crossed his mind. "Weren't you going to spend time with Ron and Hermione today?" Harry looked sheepishly at the ground.

"I was going to, but I kept getting so distracted during wizard chess that I lost in ten minutes flat. So I made up an excuse to go wait for you at Snape's office instead. I just thought you might need me."

"Oh. Well, I won't lie, I am glad you were there, but I don't want you to sacrifice time with your friends on my behalf." Draco felt slightly guilty; he didn't want to be a burden on Harry.

"To be honest, it's a little hard to be around them these days. They're so wrapped up in each other. I kind of feel like a third wheel a lot of the time, so I was a little relieved to have a reason to leave." Draco was content with this for the moment, though he was a bit saddened to learn that Harry felt that way about friends he had once been so close with.

So, where should we go on our date?" Harry asked Draco. He was more excited for this than he had been in a long time.

"Well," said Draco, "Contrary to popular belief, this Malfoy is a bit of a romantic fool, and I had hoped that you would leave the planning to me. I have something in mind I think you'd like."

"Draco Malfoy, romantic fool...well imagine that," replied Harry, chuckling lightly. "I suppose I'll let you have this one, given that you asked me out, but I'll warn you, Draco, a romantic Slytherin is no match for a romantic Gryffindor."

"We'll see," replied the pale boy with a smile. "Meet me at the entrance to Hogsmeade on Saturday at 5:00, and we'll go from there."

"I can do that," said Harry, just as a small black owl landed on his shoulder and pecked his ear. Knowing full well whose owl it was, he reluctantly took the note and unrolled it.

'I trust you have not forgotten our meeting today. I will see you in one hour's time in my office. -Severus'

"I am not fucking ready for this," sighed Harry under his breath.

"What's that?" asked Draco.

"Nothing, it's just I've got to go get ready for my meeting with Severus tonight," replied the brunette.

"Oh? I thought you met with him yesterday?" Draco looked confused.

"Long story, but he's having me meet him more often because of the whole potion thing. I'll tell you more later but I have to go get ready right now, alright?" Draco nodded and Harry placed a gentle kiss on the blonde's cheek before leaving him under the tree and heading up to his dorm room.

Sitting down on his bed, Harry hung his head, having come up with nothing to tell Severus. He glanced down at his old muggle watch and saw that he still had forty minutes before his meeting and wished he had just stayed by the lake with Draco. If he had, maybe he wouldn't be thinking what he was.

'Just one time,' said Harry's mind. His thoughts were drawn to the bottom of his trunk where he had hidden one last razor in a secret compartment two months ago. 'Just in case,' he had told himself in that moment.

Fighting himself, he checked his watch again. Thirty-eight minutes. Harry squeezed his eyes shut, pushing back memories that were poking at the border of his subconscious, threatening to break through. A hulking, shadowy figure had haunted his dreams the previous night, the first night of reducing the dreamless sleep potion.

Harry had not simply gone to splash water on his face as he had told Draco that morning. Instead, he had woken in overwhelming terror and run to the bathroom to throw up the little contents his stomach held. Harry felt dirty, contaminated in some way, and wanted to just crawl out of his skin. He still felt this now.

'Severus doesn't know how this feels! If he did, he'd never ask me to stop the one thing that helps,' thought Harry bitterly. He sat on his bed in contemplation, still staring at the end of it where his trunk sat closed and locked. The Gryffindor knew if he opened that trunk, the fight would be over and he would be back to square one.

He checked his watch, willing the hands to tick faster. Thirty-two minutes.

"Fuck this," Harry growled in frustration. And with that, his decision was made. He pushed himself off the bed, gave his still-locked trunk one last wistful glance, and marched himself down to the potion master's office. He glanced at his watch one more time. Twenty-five minutes. Harry knocked on the door.

"You're early, Mr. Potter. That's not like you..." said Severus. "But no matter, I am finished with my grading for the week, so please, do come in." The Gryffindor nodded and entered the office, where he sat down in his usual chair.

"You look very...defeated," observed Severus, choosing the adjective carefully.

"There's a reason I'm early today," said Harry, feeling slightly resentful.

"And what would that reason be?" asked the professor as he walked over and placed himself in the seat across from Harry, whose eyes were now shining with tears of anger and frustration.

"The urges are coming back Severus. I was in my dorm alone just now, and I wanted so badly to just give in." Harry looked at the floor, forcing back the tears.

"And did you?" asked Severus quietly.

"No," sighed Harry. He gave a half-hearted laugh as he realized what had stopped him. "I played that stupid time game you taught me a long time ago. You know, the one where you resist for a minute, then two, and eventually it's supposed to get better. Except it didn't. And when I couldn't take even one more second I came down here. Eight minutes, Severus. Eight fucking minutes! That is how long I can deal with this on my own right now! What am I supposed to do with that?" Harry could not contain himself any longer and the tears spilled over, running hot down his cheeks, wetting his shirt. He covered his face with his sleeve, feeling ashamed and broken.

The black-haired man was silent for a few moments, not wishing to interrupt the release of emotion he could tell his student so desperately needed but tried so hard to avoid. He got up and slowly moved around the desk to put a comforting hand on the teen's shoulder.

"I know this is tremendously hard on you, Harry, and for that I am sorry. But you and I both know that the only way out of this mess...is through it." This thought only seemed to make Harry's tears fall harder and more frequently and Severus could tell that he was beyond words, so he simply knelt down and placed his arm around the boy, holding him steady as he fell apart.

Harry shook his head when it seemed like he had exhausted his supply of tears. He still felt awful, and now his eyes were red and puffy. He hated feeling so weak on top of everything else, and wished that he had just stayed that extra minute in his dorm room. The guilt and shame that came with self-injury was something he could take, something he had grown accustomed to. Albeit uncomfortable, it was familiar and known...safe. This, well...he didn't know what this was, and that scared him more than anything. His eyes snapped up as he realized Severus was talking to him.

"Harry, I don't doubt that you remember what I told you yesterday," the professor began, not wanting to push the teen any more but knowing that it was necessary.

"Of course I do. How could I forget?" groaned Harry, wishing a hole would open in the floor and suck him in.

"Well, now is the time to begin," said Severus.

"I-I don't know where to start, sir," said Harry honestly.

"Very well. I had a feeling we would come to this. I know that you do not wish to divulge the contents of your nightmares nor of the memories they undoubtedly stem from. Although there will come a day where it is necessary for me to know, that day is not today. Today I would like to discuss how you feel after a nightmare or, more accurately I would suppose, an unconscious flashback." The older man sat back in his chair and waited.

Harry rubbed his scar. Though it didn't hurt him physically in the way it used to, emotional pain was just as likely to provoke the old habit. And even just the memory of how the dreams made him feel was enough to make his skin crawl.

"It-it hurts," said the Gryffindor. "It feels a bit like drowning, but not like in water...in emotions."

"That's a very interesting way to put it, Harry. What kind of emotions are you drowning in?" asked Severus.

"Well, it's a little different each time I wake up, but the main thing is...I feel somehow...contaminated, like there is something awful under my skin and I can't get it out. I just feel disgusting, worthless. And guilty...it's my fault."

"What's your fault Harry?" asked the potion's master solemnly. Harry shook his head no, choking up again. "Alright, you don't have to answer that. Please continue..."

"It feels as if there is a weight attached to my heart, pulling me down in all of this, overwhelming me until I'm completely distraught and hopeless. It doesn't matter what I do. The more nightmares I have, the heavier the weight gets...until I...well...you know..." he trailed off, but there really was no need to complete the sentence.

Harry felt exposed, more vulnerable than ever, and he was terrified. Severus could tell by the way he looked up at the ceiling, refusing to make eye contact.

"I see," said the professor. "That is quite a burden you are carrying."

Harry nodded, looking anywhere but at Severus. He felt as if he'd already said too much.

"Perhaps it would lessen if you shared this pain with another person," the black-haired man suggested gently. Harry shook his head again. "Very well. I think that's probably enough for today, but I don't want to let you go on that note. What are your plans for the weekend?" Harry let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding in.

"I erm...I have a date," he mumbled.

"Ahhh," said Severus. "Well, while I am happy for you, that's not quite what I meant. How will you keep yourself safe until Monday when we next meet, especially if the nightmares come back?"

"I suppose I will have to stay with people, won't I, sir?" Harry said hollowly.

"I think that would be wise, yes," replied Severus. "Do you have someone you can go to at night if you wake up?"

"I can get Hermione...you know, only if I need to," he said, thinking of someone else entirely.

"Alright. Just one more question before we do your safety check. Do you have anything you wish to turn in to me that you could possibly use to injure yourself?" Severus regarded the teen, who seemed to struggle with his answer momentarily.

"...No sir," Harry replied. It wasn't exactly lying, he reasoned. He really did not 'wish' to turn in that razor hiding at the bottom of his trunk. Severus nodded and reluctantly Harry pulled up his sleeve and allowed the man to examine his arm. Seeing that there were no new injuries brought the professor a measure of relief, but also worried him slightly. How long could the boy last?

"You may go Harry. Try to enjoy yourself on your date and please remember that you may always come to me if you're not feeling safe. Otherwise, we will meet again Monday afternoon after your classes. Have a good weekend."

"I'll try," replied Harry, giving the man a very thin smile as he left the office.

As soon as the potion master's door was closed behind him, Harry began to walk quickly towards his dormitory. His session with Severus had only served to stir up everything he was trying to push away.

'I'm done, I can't do this any more," thought Harry, "I am So. Fucking. Done." Memories seemed to be swirling through his mind, clearer images now, unlike the previous night. Harry ran feverishly up the many staircases that led to the Gryffindor tower, spat the password at the Fat Lady and was extremely grateful that the nice weather outside meant that he encountered nobody on his way up to the dormitory.

As Harry frantically unlocked his trunk and began tossing the few things he still kept in there aside, he felt a small part of himself hesitate. Was he really going to give up the two months he had made it without self-injuring? And what about his date with Draco? What would he say if he found out? But then the memories swirled again, a wash of images that overruled any sort of rational thought process the Gryffindor could have called upon, and Harry made his decision as the razor smiled at him from the bottom of his trunk.

Snatching up the small blade, Harry sat on his bed and drew the curtain before pulling up his left sleeve to reveal his bare forearm. He placed the razor a little way down from his wrist and closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath, Harry pressed down, feeling the bite of the sharp metal against his skin. The relief was palpable as the endorphins coursed through the Gryffindor's body and he felt the stinging wetness of his own blood. Memories were pushed to the back of his consciousness as Harry opened his eyes and saw the red line dripping down his arm.

'And so it begins,' he thought bitterly as he dragged the razor across his forearm a second time slightly deeper than before. He was desperate to push the memories away, but Harry knew he had to be careful not to press too hard. Resisting the urge to cut deeper and deeper, he created three more shallow cuts on his arm and threw his razor aside.

Harry laid back on his bed. He was numb to everything except a slight buzzing in his head and the stinging of the cuts on his arm. Looking down at his own blood both calmed and sickened him at the same time. He knew that come Monday Severus would undoubtedly find out he had hurt himself again, which meant that he would not have any more opportunities to escape his pain and he would be forced to deal with everything that surfaced without the help of his razor. 'I'm so fucked,' he thought as he curled into a ball, dreading the moment when he would have to leave his bed.

Draco was worried. He had thought that Harry's session with Snape would have been long over by dinner, yet he hadn't seen the Gryffindor in the Great Hall. Blaise had even taunted him because he kept glancing over every time someone new entered the room. When Harry didn't show up as the last few people were trickling out and the food was cleared away, Draco became even more alarmed. What if something had happened to his Harry?

After dinner, Draco headed up towards Gryffindor tower, but there were several fourth-years hanging about and lest he look totally suspicious, he decided to head down to the Room of Requirement instead, on the off chance Harry had decided to go there. However, when the room opened for him immediately, he knew that nobody was inside.

'Maybe he just had an exhausting session and needed to sleep it off,' reasoned Draco when he got back to the dungeons, though something twisted inside of him uneasily. It was a long time before he could fall into a troubled sleep.

Harry knew he was going to get hell from Draco when he woke up at 3:00 pm on Saturday. The previous night he had taken his further reduced portion of his dreamless sleep potion and woken from an even more vivid nightmare than before. Feeling too helpless to do anything else, he had added a few more lines to his arm, cutting deeper this time, and stayed awake until 5:00 am when his eyes betrayed him and he finally was able to sleep.

Harry was conflicted. He knew Draco would want to know what had happened, but he dreaded seeing the look on his face when he found out. Perhaps it was better if he just didn't. Harry's stomach growled, as he had now skipped three meals in a row. Then he realized that his date with the blonde was in a mere two hours and he looked like hell. He immediately lost his appetite and dove into his trunk to find something decent to wear.

It was only 4:45, but Draco was already anxiously waiting by the entrance to Hogsmeade. Although he had been dressed and ready for their date since after lunch time, Draco was honestly afraid that he might be stood up, because he hadn't seen Harry since he left so abruptly the day before. At 5:02 he was feeling nervous beyond belief, ready to march up to Gryffindor tower and demand answers, not caring who saw. Then he saw Harry walking towards him in a long-sleeved black sweater and dark blue jeans.

"Harry!" he breathed in relief. "Where have you been? And...why are you so pale?" exclaimed the blonde, taking in Harry's pallor and noting the dark shadows under his eyes.

"Erm...it was a...rough night for me, and I wasn't feeling too well this morning either so I just stayed in the dorm," said Harry uncomfortably. He had not expected to be confronted outright like this. "But come on now, I'm excited to see what a romantic Slytherin's idea of a date is!" Draco didn't like that Harry had just brushed off the question, but he didn't push it any further.

"Alright, well then, let's get going. I thought we'd start at the Hogs Head Inn for dinner and drinks." Draco smiled at Harry, holding out his hand, which the brunette hesitantly took. What if someone saw the two of them? As if to read his mind, Draco held out his wand, casting a disillusionment charm over both of them. Once inside the inn, he removed the charm.

"I'm surprised you didn't want to take me to The Three Broomsticks," said Harry as the innkeeper motioned to a quiet corner booth in an alcove hidden from the rest of the inn.

"I thought this would be a little more private, and besides, the waitresses here are much more discreet. Plus I tend to prefer greasy bar food when I'm drinking." Draco laughed lightly at his own joke.

"Wait...we're drinking? I mean...obviously that's fine by me, but it's a long walk back to the castle drunk," said Harry tentatively.

Draco smiled and reached his long, pale fingers into his pants pocket, pulling out an old-fashioned key.

"Who said anything about going back to the castle?"

Harry's eyes widened in surprise for a moment. He hastily covered it up with a smile, but Draco caught the hesitation.

"Is something wrong tonight, Harry? You seem rather...off..." The Gryffindor shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm sorry, there's nothing wrong really, just my nerves I guess," Harry lied with expert skill. "Maybe we should get on ordering those drinks."

As if called, the waitress appeared at the table and leaned in towards Draco. "May I take your drink orders sir?"

"Yes, we'll have two fire-whiskeys please, and you can leave the bottle as well," said Draco smoothly, ordering for the both of them.

"Fire-whiskey?" asked Harry, skeptical.

"Normally I go for a nice white wine, but I figured you might be in need of something a little stronger," replied Draco.

"Touché" said Harry.

The waitress was very quick, and shortly the bottle of firewhiskey and two shot glasses were sitting almost ominously between Harry and Draco.

"Shall we play a game?" asked the Slytherin, smiling.

"What were you thinking of?" asked Harry, unsure.

"It's called we both take a shot and you tell me what's really wrong," said Draco, winking. Harry wasn't the only one who could be annoyingly perceptive, but still, the other teen looked dismayed.

"Draco I—"

"Shh, no worries then. Here, let's take a shot and we can talk about something else for now," said Draco, pouring a healthy portion of the fire-whiskey into each shot glass and handing one across to Harry. He then raised his glass up in challenge.

Reluctantly, Harry matched him, clinking his own glass and tossing back his shot, shaking his head as it burned his throat and warmed his insides. He felt slightly more at ease, but still somewhat guarded.

"So, I take it you got us a room?" he asked the blonde, making small talk.

"Not A room, Harry. THE room," replied Draco.

"I'm confused," said the Gryffindor. "I didn't think there was more than two rooms in this entire inn."

"You'll see," teased Draco. "All in good time. But first, another round, don't you think?" Harry nodded and poured two more shots. They clinked glasses a second time, both enjoying the warm sensation of the fire-whiskey and each other's company. Within an hour both boys were tipsy and quickly losing their inhibitions. Their questions grew more ridiculous and alcohol-fueled by the minute, until finally they lapsed into a comfortable silence. Draco reached across the table and took Harry's hand, the touch causing a tightness in both their trousers.

"Harry, I think we should go upstairs now," said Draco, breathlessly. Harry nodded and slowly the two got up from the booth and walked down the hallway to the stairs, Draco leading the brunette.

Instead of walking up the stairs, Draco paused at the first step, leaned down and, taking out his ancient room key, turned it in what had looked to be a small gnarl in the wooden stairs but instead was a key hole. Suddenly the stairs moved aside to reveal a large, intricate wooden door. Harry could not help but be impressed.

"So this is THE room, huh?" he teased Draco. Draco simply opened the heavy door and motioned for him to go inside. Harry's jaw dropped, partially because of the alcohol but mostly because of how absurdly expensive-looking THE room was. Draco laughed at Harry's shocked face.

The room was decorated in shades of blue, purple, and silver and did not skimp on the amenities. A fireplace contained a healthy blaze, in front of which sat a pale blue couch. The silver end table contained a fancy bottle of wine, two crystal goblets and a nice assortment of Swiss chocolates, along with a blue metallic vase holding a single red rose. Draco led Harry into the room, and he could feel the plush violet carpet give nicely under his feet.

"Draco, this is amazing!" said Harry, completely awe-struck.

"Wait until you see the bathroom, it has a waterfall tub!" exclaimed the blonde boy in response. Stopping at the end table, Draco picked up the rose and the box of chocolates. "Here, I got these for you," he said, uncharacteristically shy. Harry took the rose and the chocolates from him.

"Thank you, nobody's ever done something this nice for me before…you don't know how much it means," said the Gryffindor.

"I wanted to show you how grateful I am to you, Harry, and let you know I've made up my mind. I want you, whether as a friend or something more I guess we'll have to see, but it's not in me to do something like this half-way. Now let's sit down and have some of this wine. I've been dying to try it." Draco opened the bottle of wine, pouring a decent measure into each glass. Handing a glass to Harry, he sat down on the couch and motioned for the brunette to join him. Sitting down next to Draco, the Gryffindor felt happiness swell inside his chest. He took a sip of the wine, which was as cool and delicious as he expected.

"Well…now that you've blown every possible first date ever out of the water, what would you like to do?" he asked, smiling light-heartedly at the blonde.

"I certainly don't mind just sitting here and talking with you, Harry…but did you have anything in mind?" asked Draco playfully, putting his arm around the Gryffindor.

"I'll be honest, I'm really struggling to stop myself from kissing you right now," replied Harry, taking another sip of wine and gazing longingly at Draco's lips. The blonde laughed and drained his wine goblet in one swig. Taking Harry's goblet from his hand, Draco set it on the end table.

"I hoped you'd say that," he replied as he closed the gap between them.

As soon as their lips touched, the two were engaged in a fierce embrace, each kissing the other with the ferocity of their respective houses. After a minute of this, Draco tentatively leaned into Harry, who responded by pulling Draco down onto the couch on top of him. As Draco's tongue begged entrance and began to explore his mouth, heat pooled in Harry's groin. He began to arch his hips up in need and gasped when Draco ground his erection down at the same time.

"God that feels good Harry!" said Draco almost involuntarily, surprising both Harry and himself. Harry responded by arching up even further and circling his hips against Draco's.

"You like that then, I take it," said Harry with a sly smile.

"Fuck, Harry, I'm so hard and we've barely even done anything. Can we…" Draco trailed off, unsure of what he actually wanted to say. He decided just not to think and voraciously began kissing Harry again.

"I…yes….bed…NOW…." replied Harry between Draco's kisses, motioning to the giant, blue, extremely comfortable-looking bed. Draco sat up and pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his toned torso and causing Harry further discomfort as his erection strained against his jeans.

"Your turn," said Draco, breathlessly. Harry sat up and pulled his sweater off, then undid his pants button and wriggled out of his jeans, revealing tented black boxers.

"I see your shirt and I raise you one pair of jeans," replied the Gryffindor, grinning wildly. Draco stood up, undid the button to his pants, and let them drop to the floor. He then gently took Harry's hand and led him to the edge of the bed.

The blonde pushed the smaller boy backwards and climbed on top of him, leaning down to suck gently on Harry's lower lip. The Gryffindor responded enthusiastically, pressing his now thinly-clad erection against Draco's thigh. Draco pulled back slightly, and Harry took the opportunity to flip their position so that they were both lying on their side. He hugged Draco in close and gently pulled the blankets over them.

"Harry…I…I don't actually know what I'm doing," admitted Draco, nervously. "But this feels right, I think. And just…fuck…I'm so hard."

"Trust me, I know," replied Harry, laughing slightly. "Just relax, we'll get there, alright? You've done so much tonight, let me do something for you." Maybe it was the alcohol causing him to throw caution to the wind, but before Draco could say anything, Harry slipped his right hand inside the blonde's boxers and firmly grasped his erection, causing a shudder and relieving any qualms Draco may have had. He slipped his other hand into his own boxers and gently began to stroke both of their cocks.

"Ohhhhh….that feels amazing, Harry, please don't stop!" cried Draco, also quite tipsy. He grabbed hold of Harry's strong shoulders and pulled him closer, aligning their erections. Harry pulled both of their boxers down so that he could hold their cocks together and and thrust against Draco with every stroke. It wasn't long before both boys were panting heavily and moving in unison against each other as well as Harry's hands.

"Harry…I'm close," whispered Draco, his silver eyes darkening with the heat of the moment.

"I am too," replied Harry, thumbing the head of Draco's dick and spreading copious pre-cum down his shaft, which caused the blonde to moan in pleasure. He sped up his ministrations and Draco began thrusting violently against his hand and his cock, needing release.

"Mmm…I'm about to…AHHH HARRY!" Draco came hard, spilling his seed over Harry's hand as it twisted around his swollen head one final time. His moans set Harry over the edge and the Gryffindor cried softly against the blonde's chest as his cock exploded between them. It was several moments before either of them could catch their breath, so they just held on to one another, both still a bit giddy.

"Thank you Harry, I really wanted that, but I was so nervous to be the one to start it," said Draco, finally breaking the silence.

"Any time. That was fucking amazing," replied Harry, laughing slightly. "And I hate to leave this bed, but I think we need a cleaning charm and I left my wand in my pants pocket."

"Just be quick, I still want to cuddle," pouted Draco.

"I never would have imagined you the cuddling type," replied Harry. "But much agreed." He slipped out of the bed and ran across the room to grab his wand and return to his date. Casting a Scourgify charm over the two of them, Harry leaned in to kiss the blonde-haired boy next to him, pressing their bodies together in post-coital adoration.

As they kissed slowly now, Draco linked his hands with Harry's over his head and rolled him onto his back. Harry didn't realize what was about to happen until it was too late, and Draco's arms made contact with his. Feeling the wetness there, Draco's eyes flew open and he pulled back. A telltale red smear lingered on Draco's right arm, and he blinked at Harry, who could do nothing but lay there absolutely mortified. Silence filled the room for a long moment; neither of the two knew what to say to the other.

"Harry," Draco finally began. "What the actual fuck?" Tears filled the brunette's eyes and he looked away, ashamed. "I mean, I knew something was wrong, but I didn't think it had gotten this far..." continued Draco, trying to be gentle. He rolled over so that Harry was no longer trapped underneath him and lay next to him on the bed.

"I don't know what to say," replied Harry, choking on his words and turning his back to Draco.

"Just...why Harry? And why didn't you tell me? I thought...I thought you were doing alright with this..."

"Well...not any more," said Harry.

"But what made you give in?" prodded Draco. "And when? I can't see them but I can tell those cuts are still fresh. Is that why you've been avoiding telling me where you were this weekend? Harry...Harry look at me, please!"

"I can't Draco, I c-can't" sobbed the brunette, covering his face, the alcohol still in his system greatly exacerbating his emotions.

"Then just, get over here, will you?! Fuck it all if we just did what we did and I can't at least hold you." And suddenly Draco found himself with a lap full of broken Harry. He pulled him close and kissed the top of his head. "Now, you're going to show me your arm so I can clean you up and then we're both going to sleep here together and forget about the rest of the world for tonight," said Draco softly, stroking Harry's back. "Come on now, let's see."

"N-no, please no!" cried Harry as Draco gently guided his left arm away from his face and reached across to the bedside table where both their wands now sat. "You can't see!"

"Harry, obviously I realize how hard this is, but I already know that you are still bleeding underneath that spell, and that can't mean anything good. I'm going to take off the glamour now, alright?" Without waiting for an answer, Draco waved his wand over Harry's arm and tried to suppress the sharp intake of breath as the angry-looking lines were revealed.

It looked as if three of the cuts had reopened, as blood was smeared around the edges. A piece of the blonde's heart broke as he saw what the Gryffindor had felt he needed to do to himself, but he knew it would only cause Harry to feel more ashamed, so he did his best to keep composed. He conjured a cool cloth and carefully began to wash the blood from Harry's arm.

"I'm such a freak," whispered Harry, unable to stand the guilt he felt as he saw the look on Draco's face. "I'm disgusting."

"How could you ever think that?" replied the Slytherin, shocked at the brunette's words.

"Because it's true!" insisted Harry. "I try as hard as I can to seem normal but inside I'm as fucked up as you can get."

"You don't have to be normal around me, Harry. And I don't care how fucked up you think you are, we can fix whatever it is, okay? Just trust me like I trusted you," said Draco, pulling his Gryffindor closer.

"You don't understand though! Some things…some people…are too broken to be fixed," cried Harry. "And I'm one of them…" he continued softly.

Draco shook his head. "I refuse to believe that. Let's just get through tonight, can you do that with me?"

"I'm afraid Draco. I don't want you to see me when I remember…I think it would break me completely," sobbed Harry in response.

"Remember what Harry? You're scaring me more than a little bit here. Maybe we should go see Severus about all of this if you don't think you can make it through tonight."

"No! I can handle it, I promise. Just…I'm exhausted and irrational and upset right now. You weren't supposed to find out…nobody was supposed to find out. I hate it so much."

"I know it sucks, but I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere. Please let me help. Tell me what I can do."

"I-I don't know, Draco! There's nothing anyone can do, it's too late to save me!" Harry continued to sob into the blonde's chest.

"Well then let me try, Harry. Let me try and I swear I'll find a way." Despite being overwhelmed beyond the point of breaking, Harry found a slight solace in Draco's promise. And finally, after many more tears and approaching complete exhaustion, the brunette fell asleep in Draco's arms.

And that is all for now. No promises on updates because it's been almost a year from the last time I promised an update. Reviews are nice motivation to write though ;)