"Maxine, are you alright?" I flinched in my seat, coming back to reality as I looked up into the concerned eyes of my indefinite substitute teacher. Looking down in front of me, I realized I hadn't graded a single quiz since he set the stack down in front of me. With a shake of my head and a light blush I blinked up at him in embarrassment.

"Sorry, Mr. Treat," I murmured meekly, "I'm just sort of out of it and-"

"I've noticed," he said, standing from his desk and coming to stand beside mine. My eyes lowered to the stack of quizzes in shame. "Is everything alright? You're not getting sick are you?"

The way my stomach was constantly tensing and twisting could be mistaken for the beginnings of a virus, but unfortunately my food came and went like normal so that wasn't it. "No."

"Is everything alright at home?"

A strange question to ask since we were at a boarding school, but then I guess there was always a chance something had happened to someone I cared about back home. Maybe Frank had been diagnosed with something dreadful and my parents had just been too thoughtless to tell me. "Yes, everyone's fine."

My teacher was silent then, still curious as to what could have possibly set his number one helper into such a funk. I sniffled, bringing my hands down into my lap as he scrutinized me. "Are you and that Garwin boy still together?"

My gut nearly fell out of the bottom of my chair. That Garwin boy. It was strange to hear Mr. Treat to refer to someone by 'boy' since he didn't look much older than a boy himself and was definitely shorter than a great deal many 'boys' he taught. My tongue felt like sandpaper. "Yes…Reid and I are still together."

Treat gave a thoughtful huff then and reached out to rest a lightly squeezing hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him. "Just a rough day then?" After a pause I nodded. He nodded sympathetically not taking his hand from my shoulder. It didn't make me uncomfortable like it would have when he first came. I'd spent too much time with Michael for alarms to go off from his eccentricities. "Well, then feel free to head out a few minutes early."

"Oh no, I couldn't-"

"Maxi," he soothed, leaning against the edge of my desk with a pitying smile, "You're obviously having a bad day and you're not getting anything done here, so just go. Go out with your friends or something." He waved off any further protests I made, packing up my things for me and handing me my bag as he ushered me towards the door. "We'll keep schedule for the rest of the week, but today you need to go out and do something to take your mind off whatever's bugging you."

I gave him one last pleading look as we reached the door, but he stayed firm, arm crossed over his chest before I sighed and bid him farewell. Stepping out of the class, I let the door fall shut behind me and turned to face the person waiting for me out in the hall. Reid stood with his hands buried deep into his pockets and his beanie pulled down low over his head. We both shifted awkwardly. He cleared his throat.

"Out early today?" he questioned, angling his body in a way that urged me to begin walking ahead. I fell into step with him, eyes glued to the ground ahead of me as I nodded.

"Michael said I was too distracted to be any real help," I paraphrased, no longer feeling uncomfortable referring to him by his first name…outside of his presence.

"Michael?"

"Mr. Treat."

"You call him by his first name?"

"Not to his face."

"Oh…like how you call my mom Shannon to Lilly but not when you talk to her on the phone?"

My heart fell further as I recalled how I hadn't bothered returning the lady Garwin's call for the last week. It had become too strained for me. I nodded anyway though and Reid accepted this answer with nothing more than an indifferent sniff. We continued on in silence, exiting the building and trekking through the still sticking snow on our way to the dorm buildings. It was as silent now as it had been for the last month since we'd returned from winter break. As quiet as it had been ever since I told Reid I loved him on Christmas Eve.

He hadn't said it back.

He hadn't said anything; he'd just frozen very suddenly and released me from his grip. I'd stumbled back off his feet and then he'd turned and hurried away, a shocked look still plastered on his face as he left the gala nearly four hours early. I was red all night in shame and hurt, never straying more than a few feet from the snack table, nibbling sadly on buttered crackers as my friends danced the night away. The next day had been even worse as Reid had refused to exit his room, his father much the same in his study, so Shannon and I had sat around the tree quietly until I got a static filled call from my parents in Bruges. There were no gifts to be exchanged obviously and after talking to my parents, I was emotionally spent for the day and excused myself to cry myself into a fitful sleep.

The rest of the vacation had been spent in much the same fashion, New Year's being an awkward affair with each member of the house standing in the main hall as the clock counted down to midnight. I was awed to see that when the hour finally struck, Steven Garwin took his wife into his arms and gave her a delicate if not hesitant kiss. It didn't matter; she beamed as if he had just proposed all over again. Looking up at Reid, he had simply swooped down and planted a dry peck on my cheek. Happy New Year.

We left the Garwin home on January 12th, and it wasn't until we were in the stifling quiet of the car that I plucked up the courage to ask if we were done; if Reid had decided to break up with me because of what I had said on Christmas Eve. A simple no was the only reply I got.

No, we weren't broken up, we were together.

But it didn't feel like it anymore.

I came back to reality as we came to my dorm room door. I realized now why I had so easily zoned out while grading Mr. Treat's tests; my mind was completely consumed. I looked up at Reid as he rocked back on his heels and felt a cold hand grip at my heart. I frowned.

"Well…I'll see you later," he promised, bending down to press his lips to my hair before pulling away.

"Alright," I agreed, turning away from him and entering my room without any more draw out. Nothing else was going to be said anyway.

"Hey, Maxi," Lilly greeted from her spot sprawled across her bed, book in her hand and my stuffed penguin under her chin. I kicked off my show, offering no more than a low grunt of greeting before flopping wearily into my bed. The sound of a page being slowly turned reached my ears as I curled in on myself. There was silence after that until – "Alright that's it!"

I craned my neck to look over my shoulder at my roommate curiously. She had abandoned her leisurely read to stand over me with her hands on her hips and a concerned frown on her face. I blinked. "What?"

"You've got to tell me what you and Reid are fighting about," she urged as she came to sit on the edge of my mattress. I sighed tiredly, turn my head away and adjusting the position of my pillow.

"I told you already, Lilly, we're not fighting," I grumbled, tired of hearing this every few days since I returned. Lilly scooted closer, the spring bouncing beneath her.

"Well something had to have happened over break for you guys to be like this," she reasoned, "Like, before you couldn't pry Reid of you with a crowbar and now you two are rarely ever together. You still sit together in class and at lunch, but you don't talk. He walks you to and from class every day, yet I don't remember the last time I saw him hold your hand while doing it. I mean really what is-"

"I told him I loved him alright?!" I snapped finally, sitting up to face my roommate as I yelled at her. Lilly stood from the bed, backing up as tears began to well in my eyes. "I told him I loved and he didn't say it back and now he barely speaks to me." I fell back onto my bed with a defeated huff, tears pouring down my cheeks in streams as I tried to stifle my pitiful moans. Lilly inched back to me, sliding back onto the mattress until she was seated up by my head. "I feel so stupid, Lil."

"Maxine you didn't...you didn't sleep with him did you?" I was touched by the amount of concern that appeared on Lillian's face as she asked me that. I shook my head.

"No," I hiccuped, finding at least that one thing to be grateful for, "No, I didn't sleep with him."

"Then there has to be something else," she attempted to soothe me, straight hair falling off her shoulder as she leaned over me, "Reid's crazy about you."

"Not anymore," I sniffed bitterly, eyes locked on the ceiling as I tried to remember the last time I had felt like Reid was 'crazy' about me. Probably when he had that little kitten in his hands. It seemed like forever ago now. "I messed it all up."

"No you didn't" my friend insisted firmly, "You two haven't broken up which means...he doesn't not love you."

"Lilly," I groaned lowly, soar eyes falling closed in exhaustion and shame, "He hasn't kissed me since Christmas Eve." She was silent.

"Like...hasn't kiss like..."

"His lips have not touched my lips in almost two months," I clarified, licking the salt water from my lips.

"You've barely been dating for four!" she gasped, repositioning herself to lie down beside me, also on her back staring up at the ceiling we shared.

"We're not dating anymore," I sighed, the sad realization hitting me harder than I let on. I turned to look at Lilly as she did the same to me. Lying flat on our backs, there was no height difference between us and I was able to look directly into my best friend's eyes. "What we're doing...it's not a relationship."

"Are you going to break up with him?" I never thought i'd see sadness in Lilly's eyes at the thought of me breaking up with Reid but as she stared at me now, I could tell my roommate would be truly sorry to see the relationship end. I shrugged, a pain shooting up in my chest.

"I think I-I have to," I said, coughing to cover up the fact I was getting emotional. I felt so stupid. Four months was hardly anything in the scheme of things and we were probably closer to three than four. Yet here I was, crying at the thought of this relationship ending and losing Reid, a person I hadn't even known a year ago, forever. "I-I don't know what else to do."

I glanced down as I felt her long fingers entwining with my own. Looking back at her, I could tell she had arguments at the tip of her tongue, and it wasn't until they didn't come that I realized what a truly great friend I had in Lillian Cast. She would put her faith behind anything I deemed best for myself even if she wanted to disagree. She nodded mutely, turning her face back to the ceiling. "Whatever you need to do, Maxi. I'm behind you 100 percent."

I studied her profile for a time. My friend was very pretty. And crazy and wild and infuriating and all the thing I wasn't sure I could handle when I first came here. And yet she was the person I trusted most and who I had missed most while away with Reid. She was the one constant in my life that had been there since the beginning of my life in Ipswich. Suddenly feeling very nostalgic and not half as lonely as I had a few minutes ago, I rolled over on my side and threw my arm over my roommate in a horizontal hug. She pet my arm gently.

"Thanks, Lilly."

Don't be angry with me! This idea really came from no where. I was beginning this chapter when my shuffle started playing 'Last Kiss' by Taylor Swift and then before I knew it things had taken a turn for the semi-worst. I was originally going to have Reid immediately return Max's feelings but that seemed unrealistic and though the entire story up to this point has been pretty much [unrealistic] I wanted to shake things up a bit. Please keep reading!

Thanks for reading!
~monie