Disclaimer: I have no claims to NCIS or their Elevator!

Title: The Adventures of The NCIS Elevator

Mission: To expose the secrets behind the steel doors of the elevator

Rated G for goofy ... but really T

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

CHAPTER ONE ... Ding!

Ding!

Good morning Ziva, McGee, DiNozzo … that's Big D little i Big N little ozzo. Don't you all look sharp this morning? I know you at least try Tim. Tony, those shoes … wonderful. So smooth on my bottom. I thank you. Women and their high heels … ouch! Gibbs has been here for at least an hour … he makes Sears look good. Abby, oh ~ my ~ elevator ~ God! Or should I say, Samuel. Sam keeps me running. He lubes me up when I need it and replaces a fuse or two before they blow … he somehow knows.

Abby … I'm in love. I could do without her boots, but otherwise, she is perfection. The jet black hair pulled into pigtails. The body art … ooh, what a canvas. That smile … her laugh and don't even get me started on her manic speech patterns … ah-dorable. You ask how an elevator could be in love? Good question. It's her gentle touch. She presses my button for her lab so gently … then she stands with her hands clasped in front of her and patiently waits for me to bring her to her floor. No monkey business. Then … she thanks me … yeah! Oh my Samuel … she knows. Of course she does … she's Abby. I thought I could only talk to you, but I bet I could talk to Abby … The love of my life! I'm so happy, I could spontaneously go to the top floor! I hope the janitor comes in and cleans me up before she enters me … I want to look good for my love.

Oh, excuse me, back to work.

Ding

Morning Dr. Mallard. Mr. Palmer. Going down.

"So you see Jimmy, Cricket originated in southern England in the sixteenth century. I was quite the cricketer in my day."

"What was your position Dr. Mallard?"

"I was the wicket-keeper. Similar to your catcher in baseball."

"Dr. Mallard?"

"Mr. Palmer."

"I thought you were from Scotland."

I hear crazy conversations like this all of the time, especially when Dr. Mallard is around. The best stories I can tell you about concerned the late great Jenny Shepard. Did you know that she and Gibbs had a thing? Yeah … ah ha … a thing in me! It was a love hate relationship. She loved him, he hated her, one day. The next, he loved her and she hated him … those two trains never did meet … until the very end.

A week before she left California, they met in me … the elevator. He hit the stop button and faced her.

Ding

"Jen … I'm sick of pretending that my feelings for you are purely professional. Everything that's happened lately, I want you to know how I feel."

"This seems like a sign of weakness to me."

"Does this feel like weakness to you?"

That's when he backed her up against my doors and kissed her. She kissed him back at first. Hands in his hair, moaning, groaning … tongues all a tangle. I thought my Muzak was going to change to porn for a second there, but then she pushed him away and hit my button. She had tears in her eyes and ran out on him … again. Being the elevator that hears all and knows all, I can tell you that the news was not good for Jenny, sweet Jenny. She had a gentle button touch too. She was dying … she had a rapidly moving Cancer. Gibbs didn't know.

Back to present day … where is my Abby? I want to give my beautiful goth girl a ride. I don't want to think about Jenny anymore … I need cheering up.

Ding … I'm sooo excited!

"I'm just saying McGeek, video games will rot your brain."

Damn!

"Yeah, well, what's your excuse?"

"Ooh … You talkin to me?"

"I thought it was … 'Lookin at me."

"Shut up McGook."

"You first … Di~Snowso."

And they're Special Agents … God help the Navy!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Next: "He" finally gets his wish ... Abby comes to work. Thanks for reading:)