Don't think.
Set the night straight after episode 8...just after the hospital scene, just before Effy goes away with Cook. I so want these two (Freddie and Effy) to have a happy ending! Please!!! Love them together, wanted to create a moment for them in this story.
(A big thanks and*hug* to Anna ( tivaloveforever) who got me started with this one =) my first fanfic, haha) Disclaimer: I don't own anything Skins related. At all. Damn! Shame...
There was a soft click as Freddie swung the door shut behind him and stepped out into the crisp night air, shivering as he picked his way across the garden, his hair ruffled, that perfectly unaffected, couldn't-care-less image that he did so well. A shadow moved ahead of him, a figure emerging ghostly from the darkness. She stood, just steps away, throwing her head back. She gazed upwards, spinning herself around, the black curtain of sky seeming to fall gracefully around her shoulders. The night was full of dancing stars, and the silence filled the empty air. Waiting, just waiting... As Effy spun, her hair flying out behind her, he thought she looked infinitely beautiful, even now, so effortless, at her most troubled, her most desperate. She stopped suddenly, just inches from his face. Her eyes were red rimmed, that tired of crying tired from life look. A faint, lifeless, sad whisper-" i'm sorry", escaped her lips, as tears fell unashamedly now from her wide eyes. He reached up to hold her face in his cold hand, brushing away her tears. She stepped closer to Freddie, her breath tickling his cheek. Freddie could feel the despair radiating from her. He shivered and inhaled sharply, thinking that if he even so much as let out a breath, this moment, the moment he had waited for, would end.
And that couldn't happen. He wouldn't let it.
"I don't think...maybe this....I..." He mumbled. What am i SAYING? He thought, before she carefully placed a finger over his lips.
"Sometimes the safest thing is not to think." She whispered, pain flickering in her eyes, unnerving, like fire, uncontrollable. Freddie knew she was broken. A shell, left empty. Trying so hard once again to be whole. Not necessarily going about it in the best way...
Her lips moved forward, barely brushing against his, but he felt it. The electricity running between them was undeniable. She wanted to feel something. He knew he could give it to her. He leaned forwards, kissing her more deeply, his hands in her hair, on her back. He couldn't help it. He loved her still.
"You're right," he murmured. "It is better not to think."
They stood, entwined, surrounded by the sounds of the night, the breeze sending shivers across their skin. Finally Effy drew back, breathing heavily. She rested her forehead in his neck.
"I have to go," she told him hoarsely.
Freddie instinctively held her closer. She relaxed into his arms and cried quietly against his chest, arms wound tight around his back, as though she was afraid of letting go, terrified of falling.
"But why?" he replied, trying to hold back the fear that rose inside him. He just wanted to hold her forever, to protect her. To tell her, promise her that everything was going to be alright. He wanted her. So much. He couldn't bear to, no, he was scared to lose her again. Effy's voice was muffled as she murmured,
" I need some time. Some space. Distance..."
"For what?" he asked, his voice cracking.
"To think." She said simply. She pulled back slightly to look him in the eyes. Her voice was stronger now, her gaze searching, as though she was trying to convince herself. Make herself believe. At that moment Freddie realised there was nothing he could do. He knew, as his heart twisted painfully, longingly, there was nothing he could say that would make her change her mind. She stroked his cheek lightly with icy fingers.
"I felt it, Freddie. I really did. I felt you...I love..." She breathed the words, then swallowed quickly as a single tear ran down her face, falling onto the soft grass. She reached up to kiss him again, softly, tenderly, and he fell without resistance back into her smoky eyes. Then she turned, and with one last look back, she was swallowed into the night, silently, leaving Freddie standing alone. He took deep gulping breaths in a weak effort to calm himself. It was no use. He succumbed. He reached up to wipe furiously his own tears from his face , mingled with hers, and sunk down into the grass, wrapping his arms around his legs and resting his head on his knees, shoulders shaking. Minutes later, Freddie raised his head, gazing blurred at the place where she had melted into the night. "Come back to me...Effy, please," he whispered. "I love you?"