Merry Christmas. Enjoy. Comment.

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We're flying through the night

We're flying through the night

Way up high

The view from here is getting better

with you by my side

Run, baby, run

Don't ever look back

They'll tear us apart

If you give them the chance

-"Check Yes Juliet" by: We The Kings

—

-

I riffled through my I.d.s pulling out the ones with last names linking me to the Cullens.

Hale. Cullen. Hale. Hale. Whitlock. Hale.

I held them between my teeth as I pulled out a rubber band and snapped it around them, my hands still at the top of the steering wheel.

I stared at the top one for a moment. I looked a little pissed off in the photo, the result of hours spent in the DMV with a hundred cranky Seattleites. It was strange, having changed my name. I hadn't wanted to. It felt like I was losing my identity or something when I did it. But change my name I did, because Carlisle and Alice asked me to.

I guess it suited me—not sharing a name with them—because I wasn't like them. Neither Rosalie nor I were, so our different last name was fitting. I never developed their limitless patience, their absolute love of humans and desire to protect them. Rosalie, she never developed their compassion or empathy. She was selfish to her core; every action she carefully weighed was merely to decide if it would be best for her. I—well maybe I am selfish, but I just never much saw the appeal of humans. As food, yes, I easily grasped their appeal—and I loathe myself for that— but as friends, as… lovers?

Maybe I have the empathy down, but I lack the compassion or something. I feel what their feeling, but it's hard for me to care sometimes, for my concern to prevent an action that feels completely natural to me. Especially when I know what mundane, selfish things they always feel. Well, most of them.

I've found one exception to the rule. The woman lying across the console of Rosalie's Maserati. I stuffed the ids in the ashtray to get rid of at the next stop.

As she stirred, my hands immediately sought her skin again, instinctively soothing her back to sleep.

I felt the grin twitch at the corners of my mouth as I watched her breath fanning against the glass, my mind wandering back to how she'd gotten into that strange position.

*

The miles had ticked by in tense silence, all the things that had transpired, all the secrets we kept from one another felt like an elephant stuffed into the small cab. Her knee was bouncing up and down, fingers drumming on the armrest. It was going to be a very long drive if she stayed that antsy. I'd been banking on her being groggy and tired. She had just been attacked by a vampire for God's sake, and lost a lot of blood, and on top of that she had stayed up all night. But she was wide awake, and jostling the whole car with her restlessness.

I was already on edge, buzzed from her blood, and the satisfaction of ripping Aro's minions to pieces. I shifted, twisting the fingers on my right hand to make new grooves in the steering wheel, and grasping the edge of my seat with my left hand.

The burning in my throat was back in full force, I wished I'd had time to hunt before we'd had to leave. The ferocity of my anger ripped through me again as I looked at the stained bandage on Bella's arm, the source inspiring my intense thirst. The pure white was stained through in the center and pink was inching out towards the edges. It made me furious all over again, thinking about Victoria sinking her teeth through Bella's fragile skin. I wished I'd been the one to watch their purple smoke billow up towards the sky, heady with Victoria's cinnamon scent.

Chill out Jasper. I reminded myself, removing my nails from the upholstery.

"How's that hand?" I asked, glancing over at her from the blurring yellow bars in the center of the highway. I rubbed my fingernails against my jeans, nonchalantly removing bits of leather from beneath them.

"Oh…" Her mind came back to the present, her eyes adjusting to the car again. She looked a little startled, like she had forgotten I was there. "Uh, it's kind of tingly. But good." Her eyes were so hard, her face so tired. She didn't look at me.

"Tingly?" I questioned, feeling a bud of uneasiness bloom in my chest.

"Yeah, it was like that before… you know…" She fidgeted in her seat, pulling one of her legs up under her. "…When Edward… Don't worry." She attempted to smile, but it really looked more like a grimace.

"It doesn't hurt? You're not in pain are you? And it's not burning?" I felt the panic well up within me. I wasn't exactly an expert on removing venom from human blood. I didn't know anyone besides Edward who had ever been able to do it. What if she was changing? Panic quickly morphed to horror. I grabbed her arm mindful of her fragility, my finger seeking her pulse though I could hear it, I wanted to feel it, and this way I could test the temperature of her skin.

She jumped as I grabbed her, and remained tense. It was such a relief to touch her. All the tension buzzing like mosquitoes in the cab with us settled and quieted.

Her pulse pounded steady but elevated beneath my fingers, probably because I'd scared her. Her skin was a little cool, but probably normal for this time of day and under the trauma her body had endured—she'd lost a lot of blood.

"I promise. I'm ok." She did better with her smile this time, her eyes finding a spot somewhere around my forehead to fix themselves.

I nodded and let go, twisting my fingers back around the supple brown leather of the steering wheel. I glanced at her again out of the corner of my eye, my mind thinking through what she was feeling in response to this whole mess.

I hesitated, unsure of if I should voice the question in my mind.

"You know, I just reacted, thinking I had to stop it. I don't even know how you feel about… being changed anymore…" She let it hang in the air for a moment, peaking my interest. I glanced at her again.

"I'm glad you did what you did." She stated this matter-of-factly staring at the watercolor of green and brown out the window.

Another moment passed in the tense buzzing silence.

"I'm just wondering how. I'm pretty impressed." A small smile pulled at the corner of her mouth as she tried to put me at ease, her warm gaze finally finding my eyes. I looked away, staring intently at the curving gleam of the highway.

"Where does your new iron will come from?" she asked the question I'd been anticipating, brow furrowed. I felt her eyes on me, burning and heavy and questioning.

"Ah, I guess…" I hesitated, changing my grip on the steering wheel, avoiding looking at her. "I never knew any of the people I… uh…"

"Killed." She finished for me decisively. Not the least bit bothered by the word, or the meaning.

"Killed." I repeated, looking over at her to make sure she was as comfortable with the conversation as she seemed. She appeared to be.

"I think if I'd known any of them… I wouldn't have been able to do it. And… you know… before?" I referenced her birthday, waiting for her nod. "Well, it was really the same thing. They all kept me away from you. I really didn't know you even then. And this time…" I paused remembering the horror of those moments. I'd been terrified that she would die. That those bright eyes that pinned me down, knowing and comprehending me so easily would drain of that soulful light always burning behind that glassy surface. And then my promise to the family only solidified what I already knew I had to do.

"All I could think about was getting you out of there alive. You're too…" I paused shifting in my seat uncomfortably and searching for the right word. "Valuable. There wasn't another option."

She stiffened at the word valuable, then nodded, mulling over my answer. She stared out the window for a moment, her shoulders tense, her knee bobbing up and down.

"What do you mean valuable?" She questioned my choice of words after a moment, her voice small and distant.

I took a second, trying to think of how to explain to her without it sounding completely strange.

"You remember that night James was after you, and the whole family was rushing around, and you and I were just kind of standing there in the chaos?"

She nodded.

"Do you remember what I said?"

Another tentative nod.

"You're worth it, no matter what you think. All the struggle, and bad things that have happened and…death… all of it. You're a unique person, Bella. I didn't fully see it or understand it before, but I do now. You're truly of value in this world. It's a better place because you exist." I was a little surprised by my own words, but I felt them to be true. She was worth every horrible thing that had happened, because she was life, and innocence and every good thing, and that was something to fight for. She was something to fight for. She was shaking her head, tears spilling from her eyes and drawing gleaming trails down her pallid face.

"Death…" she trailed off, her voice cracking over the word. "Esme, Carlisle…" she gasped for breath, "Emmett… Rosalie…" another gasping breath, and I waited for the knife in my chest. "Alice…" she buried her face in her hands. "Edward." His name was a statement, a knife cutting, heart-breaking, soul-tearing statement.

I felt the familiar wrench of my heart as Alice's name spilled from her lips. But Bella's trembling shoulders dominated my pain. I just wanted to soothe her. To make her understand this wasn't her fault, that no one, not even they, had held her responsible for any of this.

Her shoulders stopped shaking, and her hands fell away from her face.

She was silent, her face turned towards the window. I could see her breathing coming in ragged soft gasps.

"Bella, let me exp…" I started, completely uncomfortable with her tears. I guess the emotion shouldn't bother me, but it did. I didn't like her feeling such heavy things. I wished again that I could shield her from all of this. It made me feel so useless to not just fix how she was feeling, not just fix everything for her.

"I'm fine." She interrupted swiping her hand under her eyes.

"But I…" I started again.

"Really, it's just been a super intense night. You understand…" she shrunk back against the seat, her arms wrapped around her middle like she was trying really hard to keep it together. I noticed she was wearing my jacket for the first time. It looked like it was swallowing her.

"It has been." I agreed, nodding. I decided to let the rest drop for now. I had time to explain to her why I hadn't told her about the Cullens.

I couldn't feel her, but intuitively, I knew the deep sadness and overwhelming sense of loss that was probably crushing down on her now. My fingers twitched against the armrest. I wanted to reach out and touch her and quell all that was tormenting her, and also silence the mad hum her presence created in my mind. I dug my fingers into the leather again instead.

Winding the dark Washington highway, I let my thoughts wander back to when we'd actually been having a good time in each others company. It seemed like years rather than hours ago that we'd been drinking together, singing with her friends, when I'd been riding behind her on my bike distinguishing what the scent was in her hair. That scent that was pulsing in my veins now too, and permeating every surface in the car. And had the devils in my mind running on overdrive, but the beauty of it was one glance from her silenced them.

She swiped at her tears, trying hard to keep her face hidden from me.

The moments blurred away with the miles and soon the lights of Seattle glowed bright and eerie above the trees.

"You sure you're ok?" I asked again, as she absently massaged her arm around the bandage.

"Oh, uh, yeah. I'm sure." She mumbled with a fake, watery smile directed at the dashboard rather than me.

The silence continued, and for some reason, I didn't think of the radio as an option for filling the void.

We crossed into the city, the lights blurring and catching in the droplets on the windshield. The whisper of the rain continued, soft and misty. The highway gleamed with the fluorescent glow of the city lights.

Somewhere around the city limit her leg began jostling the car again.

I waited a moment

"You hungry?"

"No."

"Let's get you something anyway." I didn't like the colorless sheen of her skin. I had more color than her.

"Nothing is open this time of night." She pointed out, every restaurant and store we passed dark and vacant.

"There's always something open. What do you want?"

"I'm really not hungry."

"Well, if you don't tell me I'm just going to go get a ton of stuff, and I really don't know what your preferences are, so I might end up back here with like anchovies and sardines and pickled pigs feet or something." I grinned as I said it, not sure why I found teasing her about her food so amusing. She looked really distressed by this, and muttered something about a cheeseburger.

"I'm sorry what?"

"Don't you have Superman hearing? Cheeseburger Cheeseburger."

I laughed at her miffed expression and exited the highway beneath the golden arches of McDonald's.

I pulled up to the speaker.

"What can I get you?" the man's voice crackled through the speaker.

"What do you want?" I leaned over to ask Bella.

"I'm asking you, sir." The man replied over the speaker, seeming to think I was insane.

"No, I'm asking the girl in the car with me."

Silence.

"What do you want, Bella?" I repeated leaning over towards her.

"Hamburger." She replied, sulking.

"Yes, but what kind? There are all varieties of human hamburgers am I right?" I nodded towards the elaborate menu.

"Big Mac, quarter pounder, double quarter pounder, quarter pounder with cheese, double cheeseburger, kid's burger." I rattled off a few from the menu.

"Alright, I have a big Mac, a quarter pounder, a double quarter pounder, a double…" the man began reciting all that I had just recited for Bella.

"For the love of…" I muttered over the static.

"What else? Fries?"

"Yes. That's it. Thank you." I pulled forward as he instructed.

"You can't buy all of that! Who's going to eat it?" she was very bothered by the fact that I'd just spent twenty dollars on hamburgers.

"You. And any beggar we pass on a corner." I grinned handing the guy my cash.

She shook her head, indignant.

"Ketchup?" I echoed the window attendant's question.

"Yes. And a coke." She muttered, taking the heavy sack of hamburgers from me.

I smiled glad she was cooperating.

"A coke also please." I handed the attendant, who I had to convince it was ok for her to make a coke and take my money even though she didn't work the payment window, a ten and called it even. I'd caused the little woman a lot of distress.

"Eat." I commanded Bella who was just staring overwhelmed at the full sacks of food.

She cut her eyes at me, and selected a burger from the stack.

After she'd finished a burger and the coke and picked at a box of fries, I was satisfied that she'd eaten enough. I passed the full sack of food out to a "hungry vet" on the street corner.

We drove on, silence heavy on us again.

"Want to talk about it?"

"About what? I'm fine?"

"Then what's with the leg bouncing?"

Her knee stilled immediately.

"Just my parents. I'm hoping they got away ok. I wish I could have asked Jake what happened with them." She stared out the window at the changing terrain.

I watched headlights blink on behind us from off the road in the rearview mirror. The car pulled up onto the slick highway, accelerating behind us.

She continued on unaware of my fear, and my foot pressing into the floor.

"By the way, what happened with Jake? I have a vague memory of him showing up again…" she trailed off as I let out a breath and a small laugh.

The wail of a siren, and the flash of red and blue bounced through the mirrors and into the car. I glanced down at the speedometer.

120. Damn.

Pullover, or outrun them. If I outrun them, we'd have to switch cars, and Bella might have a breakdown.

I pulled to the side of the road, Bella's eyes were rounded in alarm. We'd just faced down a sadistic vampire, who bit her none-the-less, and she was worried about a cop. I laughed.

"Look worried." I commanded playfully. The cop of all things had her upset.

Rolling down the window I was greeted by the officer so very pleasantly.

He shone his flashlight in my eyes. I'm sure it made them glow bright gold.

"Where are you going in such a hurry there, playboy."

Playboy? Oh… probably because of the car.

"Her mother is in the hospital in Tacoma. Car accident. We're just trying to get down there quickly." The officer glanced over at Bella in the passenger seat, looking frazzled and pale, with red-rimmed eyes.

"This is an expensive car. Is it yours?" He leaned back and let out a low whistle.

"No sir. It's my father's,"

"Well, I'm feeling generous tonight." He muttered, pulling his pants up a notch. Bella snorted, then played it off as a cough. "Keep it to the speed limit son. It wouldn't do the lady any good to get in a wreck herself." He pointed a warning finger at me.

"You're absolutely right, officer." I smiled at him, forgetting my teeth and watching his brows knit.

"Be careful now." He walked back to his car in a daze.

"I will, Barney." I chuckled, rolling my window up.

"That's hardly fair." Bella shook her head as we pulled back onto the highway.

I shrugged.

"He was feeling generous?" she gave a soft laugh with her words.

I chuckled again glancing over at her. She needed to laugh more. Even when it was only half-hearted, it lit up her whole face.

She was distracted for a moment and then her knee began vibrating the car again.

"Call Jake. Make sure your parents are ok." I offered, pulling my phone out and handing it to her.

She snatched it readily, without a word.

"I don't know how to work this thing…" She punched at the touch screen awkwardly for a moment, her face scrunched up and her neck bent down. Finally she succeeded in dialing Jacob. Her heart thumped hard in her chest, uneasy with anticipation of what the wolf would say.

He didn't answer.

Asshole.

The knee bouncing began again.

She kept trying and with each pass to voicemail she got more and more agitated. We breezed through Tacoma, traffic dead at four thirty in the morning.

"It's always unnerved me to see big cities completely quiet and still." She mused, pressing her face to the window to see the ghostly buildings looming on either side of us. I watched the fog of her breath on the glass for a second— thick with the warmth of her body. Her skin was pale and waxy in the odd greenish glow of the city lights.

I peered out my window too, no fog coloring my glass. I wondered: if the empty silent buildings frightened her, didn't the silent-hearted monster in the car with her?

*

*

*

AlicePOV

"Edward?" I sat up from where I had sprawled out on the plush crimson carpet of my room, trying to make myself have a vision— future or past. I didn't care I just needed some answers.

He slid through the door; thick leather bound volume under his arm.

What is that? I thought, looking up at him where he had paused before me.

"The Volturi: a history" He said it softly, as if all his hopes hinged on what was found on those old yellowed pages. I scooted back, making room for him to sit next to me. He sank to his knees, and set the book out before us under the soft-yellowed glow of the chandelier.

Slowly he turned through the pages of the book, that I later wondered how he came to possess.

We sat like children, wide-eyed and frightened of what we might find. He flipped through pages after page, endlessly searching the yellowed parchment pages for an hints, any clues, anything telling us about this prophetess and the subject of her visions.

"Why is there nothing?" I whined, wondering if this was all really real. Could there really be a prophesy, about Bella no less?

He shook his head. He hadn't uttered a word the entire time.

"Wait!" I squealed as he turned the page.

"That's it! That's the painting!" I shouted, my hand flattening itself against the page.

"This?" He whispered, leaning in closer.

On the page, an image of the painting from my vision stared up at us-- The woman with the sword, with a startling resemblance to Bella.

"Her name is war…" He muttered under his breath, his finger sweeping the only words on the page with the image.

"What? What does that mean?" I searched his face, hoping it would have more answers than this book.

"I don't know." He shook his head.

"That was rather anticlimactic." I huffed, sinking onto my heels, and letting my shoulders droop forward. "What do we do now?"

"We wait—for Jasper, for luck, or for answers."

*

*

*

JasperPOV

As we rounded on Oregon border, I couldn't take it any more. Her leg was vibrating the whole car. She was checking the phone every two seconds and drumming her fingers against the arm rest with her other hand. The agitated noise in the small space with her scent so intense, and the memory of her taste still fresh on my tongue…well, it was all a little maddening.

"Hand." I held my hand out, palm up, to her.

"What?" She glanced at my outstretched hand then up at me.

"Let me calm you down, please. You look like you need some sleep." I offered waiting for her hand.

"Why do you need to touch me?" Her brows knit confusion in her eyes. Did it bother her that much to touch me?

"I don't know. But you're a complete mess emotionally unless I'm touching you. And then everything gets kind of quiet and calm and all I can feel is you."

A light of understanding kindled behind her eyes.

"On the motorcycle…"

"The motorcycle? Oh yeah…" I had forgotten about that. She was probably completely creeped out. I mean, I basically stuck my hands up her shirt. "Sorry about that."

She looked up from the text she was sending Jacob, wide-eyed.

"I mean, I shouldn't have done that. I just wanted to know if it worked, because that static drives me nuts sometimes." I watched her, gauging her reaction. "And I didn't have my usual filter." I added, waiting for her response.

"Static?" she dropped her hands to her lap.

"Yeah… you're just all jumbled. It's like…" I paused trying to think of how to explain it to her. "I don't know, trying to get a bad radio station. I just can't get through to read you."

"What? That's weird… That's not normal for you is it?"

"No. But when has anything with you been normal?" I smiled to soften the words, but she looked like she took it personally anyway.

"It used to be. You used to not have any trouble with me." I nodded in agreement, then shrugged.

"I don't know." I admitted.

"So, I'm faulty or something? I was messed up mentally, and now it's emotionally too?" Her voice was a little high and hysterical.

"No. We're the freaks, Bella. Not you. Remember that,"

I clenched and unclenched my fingers, waiting for her hand as I spoke. She glanced up at me with those eyes that saw straight through me. They were so piercing and discerning. She slid her hand out from under her leg, and reached for mine, her fingers trembling as they closed the distance between us.

She's still afraid of me. After all of that… she's still afraid of me.

The buzzing stopped as her warm skin met mine. I tried to ignore the jolt of electricity, the prologue to the tranquility. It was like lightening striking and igniting. And then the serene calm that follows. I focused on twisting and bending her emotions to me. Calming her anxiety, quieting the hum of her mind with a state of repose and peace. Her leg stilled, her breathing evened and slowed within seconds, and her head went slack against the headrest.

She slept, but not peacefully like I'd hoped. She tossed and tried to turn but she was in a small sports car, and I was clutching her hand over the console in my cold one. It didn't work out so well. She'd pulled her legs up in the seat, and was curled up oddly her face against the cold window, fogging a little halo outline. I was left leaning over the console so I wasn't pulling her arm out of socket. I pulled her tennis shoe off, and carefully brought her foot over to me across the console, so I wouldn't have to lean over to keep contact with her. She stretched her other leg over turning so the back of her head was against the slope of the door. She didn't look comfortable at all, but she was sleeping and she needed to sleep. I was surprised she hadn't gone into shock or something. Good thing Victoria didn't drink very much.

Very good thing.

I chuckled again looking at her odd position.

Everything I felt from her seemed to only solidify her honesty, and her sincerity. Either she was a master at deception or, the more likely option, she was a truly unique human. I almost wanted to laugh. Bella really didn't seem like she was capable of deception. Every thought and emotion pooled behind her eyes, like crisp leaves at the bottom of a glassy puddle.

I pressed the accelerator a little harder watching the deep shadows of the black forest fade into the flat pre-dawn grey of the desert.

I couldn't help but catch glances at her as the desert blurred past. The sun was rising behind my window, coloring the sky pink and gold. The warm rays reflected off the desert landscape and shone in her chestnut hair.

I was thankful my urging had worked and she was resting. I guessed from the dark circles usually present beneath her eyes that when she slept, it wasn't for long. She wasn't the type to complain, but I figured it had been a long time since she'd had a good night's sleep. I'd have to help her with that, when we got somewhere more comfortable for her.

Her leg slid up onto my lap. She was stretching her long leg fully. Her knee popped, then her ankle.

I marveled for a moment at how different she looked. I'd noticed before, but it really hit me when she was unaware of my scrutiny. She looked much older. Her face was too thin, her shoulders looked frail, and her eyes were a bit sunken. But she wasn't the little girl I'd been thinking of her as. there was a strength to her now that she'd never had before, and she certainly wasn't afraid to stand up for herself anymore.

I chuckled remembering her berating me that first night. It was a little funny… now.

Restless, she rubbed her feet against the inside of my leg. Her warm skin grazing the inseam of my jeans.

I grabbed them to still the motion.

Be still, Bella….

That awful vibrating jarred me back to the task at hand—driving. I swerved the car back onto the highway, off of the bumps set on the shoulder for that purpose.

Focus, Jasper.

I glanced in the rearview for the thousandth time. No one behind us. Hopefully it would stay that way. I couldn't imagine what I would do, what lengths I would go to to protect this little… this woman. I'd promised Edward I would keep her safe, hadn't I?

I glanced down at her again as she shifted, rolling more onto her back, her head cradled between the door and the seat, her arm up over her forehead, her legs stretching again over my leg, and a soft groan escaping her full lips.

The road, Jasper. Focus on the road.

I glanced in the mirror again. Right, still clear. Good.

"Edward…" she said softly, her voice light and breathy.

My eyes snapped to her face. Her long dark eyelashes were fluttering softly against her cheeks, her eyelids moving ever-so-slightly.

Dreaming.

She still dreamed of him.

It wasn't really a surprise, but it made me sad for her. That she still missed him, still wished for him, the way he had for her. What a mess Edward had made… being so damn self-sacrificing. He'd drug her through hell with him, not caring how he bruised and broke her. How could he do that to her? I glanced at her innocent face again, tight with pain, and pale from depression. How could he do that to her?

"Jasper?" she whispered it like a question, shock in her tone.

What could she possibly be dreaming about me?

Lines creased her smooth skin between her eye brows, and the shadows beneath her eyes were more prominent. She looked upset, or like she was in pain.

"Nothing…" she mumbled. "Nothing."

Nothing? Come on, give me something to go on, Bella.

"Edward…"

Ok… me and Edward and nothing. That's not really helping me out.

"Why?" she asked, pain heavy in her voice. I couldn't stand her pain, her confusion.

I spread my fingers out against her flushed skin, relaxing her a bit more.

I waited, eyes switching off scanning the road and her face.

Her breathing calmed again.

"Don't leave me. Please…" She begged, pulling her arm over her face. Hiding her expressive features from me.

I slid my hand against the top of her foot in a comforting gesture. Her skin was so soft beneath my hypersensitive fingertips. I ran them over the delicate blue pattern of veins in her foot, feeling the gentle beat of her heart.

"I won't, Bella. I won't."

Though I knew she was talking to Edward in her dream rather than me, I hoped my answer gave her some peace. It seemed to. She pressed her palm beneath her cheek and sank into dreamless sleep.