Title: What's Good For You

Author: Garnet Eyes

Archived: y-gallery. net, fanfiction. net

Summary: Zack seems to believe that he knows what's best for Sephiroth, even if the General doesn't agree.

Rating: K+

Pairings: None

Author Notes: I have not had the time to watch/play anything in the Final Fantasy VII universe beyond the original game and Advent Children. Therefore, I am certain there are inconsistencies between my writing and newer games or movies.

Disclaimers: Final Fantasy VII is owned by Squaresoft and I in no way, shape, or form profit off of my writing. This is simply for my own pleasure, and may at any time be removed and/or modified as I see fit.

...

Sephiroth was not certain of what he was doing and that fact alone made him hate that he was doing it. Zackary had wanted him to meet someone because "he needed more friends" or some such trivial thing. But the silver warrior agreed for some mystical reason and now he found himself sitting on a stool at the counter in a bar miserably failing to be inconspicuous. To be fair, he only had his various uniforms and one formal tuxedo which he was not about to ruin no matter who he was supposed to be introduced to. Hence, he was not precisely incognito. However, the sheer number of drunken passes and rather grotesque attempts to get into his pants was staggering. He might need to have a few words with the brunette SOLDIER about his choice of locale.

A small blonde with rather impressive chocobo-like locks took the vacant seat to the General's right, surprisingly nonchalant, and flagged a bartender down to order some cheap beer. Feline eyes watched the little teen out of the corner of his eye as the silver warrior downed his seventh glass of whiskey, losing interest when the boy did not bother him further. Calling the bartender back for himself, the SOLDIER ordered another whiskey and hunched to further compact his form. It was a rare occurrence while in public, but no one pestered the General for a blissful moment while the bartender poured another glass. The peace was short-lived when an utterly drunken, unshaven, hulking ogre who might have disproved Professor Rawdin's Theory of Species Evolution just by his very existence alone meandered over to the counter. Sephiroth wondered if the man dragged his knuckles when he walked and made a mental note to watch the Cro-Magnon when he left with whatever booze he saw fit to acquire.

"Yer purdy."

Blinking, jade eyes glanced to the right as he brought the amber-filled glass up to his lips. The blonde was leaning to the left in an attempt to put some distance between himself and the primate on his other side, consequently nearly brushing that golden crest against black leather. Perhaps blissfully incompetent, the man ignored the clear body signal and continued.

"Wanna come back t' my table, purdy lady?"

The blonde cocked his head toward the man-ape and leaned closer to the Neanderthal's face, and the silver warrior had to believe that the expression he could not see was one of contempt.

"One: I would not join you if you offered me enough money to buy the Shin-Ra company. Two: Leave me out of whatever masturbation fantasy you're planning. Three: I do not have a vagina. Even if I did, you would never see it. Four: Bathe."

Sephiroth almost choked on his whiskey, coughing as he fought a nearly losing battle against physical laughter. The blonde turned back to his own beverage, taking a swig and attempting to once again dismiss the man with body language. For a minute it seemed the ogre might have shattered his mind trying to comprehend what had happened before he proved just how sub-human he was. Violently, he grabbed the blonde by the arm, in the process jolting the beer bottle so it fell and emptied most of its contents onto the counter. Sephiroth lifted his own arms out of the way, not quite so amused anymore.

"Dun be a bitch, little lady."

Without fanfare, the tiny blonde swiveled in his chair and lodged his foot in the man's groin. While he normally would consider that maneuver foul play, the General believed that particular ogre deserved what he got and was not the least sympathetic when he fell to the ground. Apparently, however, the ape had some sub-human ilk with him, for a group of three more Cro-Magnon stumbled in the blonde's direction. Taking pity on the boy, knowing precisely how it felt to be interrupted when all you wanted was to be left to yourself, Sephiroth fluidly stood upright and placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"He's with me. Do you really want to do that?"

It seemed that even apes understood that the potent Mako glow in his eyes spelled certain death. They backed off and left their comrade to struggle back to the table himself. Releasing the boy, Sephiroth took his seat as the barkeeper finished wiping down the counter. From his right, the quiet blonde turned to face him and spoke.

"Thank you."

Nodding once in acknowledgement, the silver warrior decided to just order a whole bottle of whiskey and also ordered a higher end beer for the blonde. When the bottle was placed in front of the small male, he once again thanked the SOLDIER before turning to his drink. Half an hour passed in relative silence before the blonde sighed and stood up with an annoyed mumble.

"Idiot. Don't tell me to meet you and not show up."

Perhaps a little less restrained than usual, Sephiroth tilted his head toward the short teen and replied to the grumbled words.

"You and I seem to have the same issue."

Blinking, the blonde turned expressive azure eyes on the silver warrior before a sardonic smile curved his lips.

"Is that so?"

Glancing at the shorter male, the SOLDIER brought the whiskey bottle to his lips and finished the last of it before replying.

"Indeed. My idiot was supposed to be here approximately fifty-seven minutes ago."

Laughter – Sephiroth admitted it was a pretty kind, unlike Heidegger's bleating – rang as the boy took his seat again.

"So we've both been ditched. I'm betting girlfriend."

"Work related."

After consideration, the blonde nodded.

"That's also a possibility."

Sephiroth smiled at the boy, undecided as to whether he should order anything else. Bright azure eyes peered up at him as a small, tan hand reached out.

"Cloud. Nice to meet you."

Although it seemed foolish, the General followed social etiquette and responded in kind.

"Sephiroth. A pleasure."

Leaning his arms onto the counter after they shook hands, Cloud smiled with a hint of curiosity in his features.

"Do you dance?"

Blinking once, the SOLDIER failed to see any harm in the question so he answered the query.

"I know several social dances and an array of ballroom styles."

The teen nodded once as if confirming something before tilting his head to the side. Idly, the silver warrior noted that the blonde chocobo crest bobbed gently against gravity with that simple motion.

"I know I'm being a little forward, but would you like to go to a club with me? There's a really good one not far from here."

Sephiroth hesitated a moment. Zackary did ask him out to meet a specific person. But the purpose was to make a friend and he seemed to be doing that just fine on his own. It couldn't hurt and Cloud was the least obtrusive individual the General had ever met.

"I would enjoy joining you."

The blonde's smile broadened in genuine happiness as they left the bar together heading into the crowded streets. Let Zackary fester if and when he finally showed up. This was bound to be more entertaining than whatever frightened moppet the younger SOLDIER persuaded to meet him.