Author's Note: I decided to write this bit here as a one-shot for now, not sure if I'll ever change it, but yeah. The inspiration is that of "The Ropers" from Three's Company. Now if you don't know who the Ropers are, I don't think it will matter much. Anyhow, I'm doing this story while I wait for the next chapter of "A Mother's Curse" to be updated, and yes, this is something to clear my mind of blood-guts-bad stuff. I hope it's funny for you guys, because when it was going through my head, I had a good laugh. Uh, not sure how to rate this, please inform me if you think it's not suitable for T.

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai-Hime or it's characters. I wish I did though!

Five's a Bloody Headache

It made her smile, Natsuki realized, that she was finally able to relax. She was able to sit back onto the couch, prop her feet up onto the coffee table, and hold a cold beer in one hand, and a remote to the TV in the other. Shizuru was not there to stop her, in fact, Natsuki wasn't sure where the brunette was. There were only two guesses that Natsuki could formulate in her mind as to where her beloved wife was, but neither guess made her happy. Her first guess was the fact that Shizuru might be out shopping with Natsuki's most precious money, and her second guess was that the crimson-eyed woman was visiting their new tenants who lived down stairs.

Natsuki didn't like the college brats; well that wasn't true. She didn't necessarily dislike them, but she wasn't too fond of them as Shizuru was. Every Friday the three tenants would go out of their way to throw a party, never minding that parties were against the lease, and every time Shizuru visited the three young females, she came back home with strange ideas floating around her relentless teasing mind. Poor Natsuki had tried to take a precaution once; trying to keep her darling wife from the delinquents, yet Shizuru had walked right through her, or was that "walked right on top of her"? Natsuki wasn't sure, but the events of the situation turned out to be ugly.

Usually when Shizuru wanted to punish Natsuki, she would take away every bit of mayonnaise in the House, though that time, when Natsuki had tried to put her foot down, Shizuru had not only taken the mayonnaise, but the beer, food, TV, and couch as well. That had left Natsuki to lick her wounds, while keeping her tail tucked firmly between her legs for about two weeks. Shizuru's cooking was the greatest, in Natsuki's mind, and no one was able to make delicious mayonnaise pie like her beloved wife did. It took two weeks for Natsuki to realize that her stubbornness had her lead to a kitchen disaster which was when she nearly burnt down the whole house. Her dear money was spent in replacing the back wall, along with the furnishings with it. Her stubbornness had also lead her to a most embarrassing situation. Never in her life had she ever had to beg for food, yet the day before she finally managed to beg Shizuru for forgiveness, Natsuki had wandered downstairs to her tenants, and begged Mai Tokiha to make her dinner.

The redhead laughed loudly at her landlord's predicament, yet did as she was begged to. She advised Natsuki not to underestimate her wife, and like a good puppy, Natsuki nodded her head in agreement while being served a nicely prepared dish of ramen. When Natsuki finally apologized to her wife, Shizuru, for being an ass, Natsuki really got punished. Shizuru's libido was never-ending, so it was no surprise that Natsuki often avoided any sessions of sex with her wife. It wasn't that she didn't like it, it was more along the lines of "I don't want it to kill me with a heart attack."

Sometimes Natsuki was clever and was capable of escaping, yet being clever with Shizuru was a rarity. Many a time, Shizuru would drag Natsuki through the apartment by the legs to the bedroom, and those times had sky-rocketed every since Shizuru had started visiting the idiots downstairs. Poor Natsuki soon found it hard to even walk, let alone trying to run from her insatiable wife.

Popping open the top of her beer, Natsuki took a sip, enjoying the coldness, while thinking over the list of chores she had stacked up. After a moment the blue-haired landlord smiled, "Well, that's done for today. Now to enjoy the game... Ahhh, yes!"

Natsuki smiled as she flicked the channels of the TV with the remote locating which station the game would be played on. It wasn't long before Natsuki soon felt she was in heaven. Peacefully ignoring all the previous annoyances of the week. It didn't take long for Natsuki to start yelling at the screen as if the game players could actually hear her, "DAMNIT!! You stupid rookie! It's called CATCH the ball, not drop it!"

The door of the apartment slowly opened, then, catching Natsuki unawares as the presence of her beloved wife stepped inside the apartment and closed the door. The blood-eyed woman stood at the entrance for a moment, or two, starting at the blunette who was currently cussing out the TV before her. 'Time for my reward. Natsuki's blush, plus a trump in the bedroom... Ara... I can hardly wait!''

"Natsuki," Shizuru purred hungrily towards the woman on the couch, a wicked smile lifting the edges of her lips. "Do you know what today is, Natsuki?"

The landlord blinked, quickly turning to look at Shizuru with a blank stare. 'Oh ho, I have you now, my Natsuki!''

"Uhm...huh..." Natsuki stuttered as she watched her wife walk across the apartment to stand right at the front of the television set. Well, she wasn't watching Shizuru's face, but she was watching the seductive swish of her brunette's hips. 'Oh gods...argh! Not tonight!'

Shizuru grinned watching Natsuki's eyes, along with the expression that her cute puppy carried. 'So she knows what's going to happen. That's good, although the power of surprise would've been better. Fufufu...'

"Are you going to answer my question, Natsuki?" Oh, she was enjoying, Shizuru was. Her voice had taken a tone of pure seduction, while her eyes raked over Natsuki's form. The blank expression that Natsuki was giving her was a clue that Natsuki was giving Shizuru her full attention. 'Ara, let's see what kind of hole my cute wolf can dig herself into...'

"Happy... anniversary?" Natsuki whimpered out a guess, feeling the hair's on the back of her neck rise to a complete stand still. 'Shit, shit, and more shit! Why can't I remember? Damn her! She's doing this to me!'

"Ara, no, Natsuki," Shizuru answered in a serious tone, yet her eyes were twinkling deviously, reminding Natsuki that she would be punished for her wrong answer. 'Great... Now I'm in for it.'

Natsuki growled softly, turning away from Shizuru who had begun a process of removing her clothes. Although she certainly wasn't removing her clothes slowly. 'She wants me to watch her... she wants me to go into a blank stupor... damn her!'

Emerald eyes couldn't keep still, as the owner of those eyes felt the room temperature rise. Natsuki gulped loudly, turning her gaze to glance onto Shizuru who now stood directly in front of Natsuki, and without a stitch of clothes on. "So does my Natsuki know what today is?"

"H-happy b-birthday?" Natsuki ventured a guess as she licked her lips. Actually, she stammered a guess in a high pitched voice, as her face accommodated a new color - crimson red, which nearly matched the color of Shizuru's eyes. 'Oh my god, she's going to kill me this time!'

"No, my Natsuki," Shizuru said grinning. "Today is the day I love my puppy to the best of my abilities, fufufu..."

Shizuru watched as the red coloring of her beloved's face grow even brighter, while the emerald eyes widened. 'Oh... I've got her now, she can't escape. Ara! What a blush, too! My precious Natsuki. It's been to long, and I need my dose of Natsuki!'

"N-not necessary, Sh-Shizuru!" Natsuki quickly exclaimed feeling her chances of avoiding this slim to nothing. "I... I have a headache!"

"I'm sure I can make it go away, Natsuki." Shizuru grinned as she moved to pin the blue-haired woman down to the couch. "Just relax and enjoy the ride, ne, my faithful puppy?"

"Ahhhhh! Shizuru!!" The recognizable scream was heard throughout the apartment downstairs, making Mai Tokiha, Nao Yuuki, and Chie Harada stare up at the ceiling in awe. All three of them had grins plastered on their faces, as they finally looked at one another.

"Poor Natsuki-san," Mai said giggling. "I almost envy her, but not quite. She deserves it!"

"She deserves, that, yes," Nao agreed. "Although, I wonder how it's possible, that she gets laid, and is STILL grumpy?"

"Perhaps it's just an act," Mai said, shrugging her shoulders. "After all, Shizuru had to find SOMETHING to fall in love with her for."

"Psht," Nao snorted. "That woman would still love Kuga even if Kuga's ears were attached to her ass."

"Ehehe!" Chie couldn't control it anymore, listening to the thumping sound coming from above. "Go Shizuru-san! Go! Go!" All the while saying this, she was making her way to taking her cellphone of it's charger.

"Chie, don't you dare!" Mai warned. "We'll be tossed out of here quicker than you can say 'woof, I love my Shizuru'."

The timing on those words were impeccable due to the loud shout which came from upstairs at that moment. Obviously, Shizuru had managed to get Natsuki to say those very words, once more: "Woof! I love my Shizuru! AHHHH! No more, Shizuru!! No more!"

The three girls immediately fell over laughing, hard at this, while the two upstairs continued their activities up until the next afternoon.

Author's Footnote: Ahaha, I had a good laugh writing this. Anyhow review, and enjoy please.