Hotaru Imai. The best inventor of the century; on the cover on almost every magazine in the entire world. You might think she's in her forties, fifties, no and no. She's only nineteen. Equipped with ebony hair that was cropped at chin length, dazzling violet eyes, and a baka gun in hand. You might think she was the world's luckiest girl, but she isn't. She thought that she'd never be… Until she saw him.
Until the End of Time
By xAvenging Angelx
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So clever, whatever, I'm done with these endeavors
Alone I'll walk the winding way (here I stay)
It's over, no longer, I feel it growing stronger
I live to die another day, until I fade away
Cold, that's what I felt for a year or two now. The navy jacket I was wearing, I held it close to me. Inhaling the scent, it felt like it was only yesterday when I lost him. The jacket was the last memoir I had of him and I intended to keep it that way for as long as I could. As I gazed up at the sun setting the horizon, I kept on my way.
A lot of people say that at that age, I should be happy and innocent, but I wasn't. I was defeated, tired, and wanted to just move on. His death startled me, and I was done. I didn't want to go on much longer, not without him. I always saw Natsume and Mikan together and I wished I had what they had. I'd give up all of my fame and fortune just to get him back into my life.
Knots in my stomach made me want to cry all over again, but I didn't want to be seen in public, crying. I stopped all of my emotions after he died. I became numb, even Mikan thought that I was a lost cause. I shrugged off her comments; she didn't know what it was like to have your soul mate die in your place. I was the one who was supposed to die, not him. Oh no, the truck was supposed to crash into my side of the car, but HE turned the car swiftly, so that he'd absorb all of the impact. I didn't cry when I woke up. I found him lying in a comatose state for five months. I didn't cry then. Mikan and Natsume did, but I had to stay strong for everyone. I had to comfort Mikan while she sobbed as a child and I watched a grown man cry before me.
When I saw the first tears silently trickling down Natsume's hard cheekbones, I knew the truth.
After that, I locked up within my shell of protection. The press came knocking on my doors, wanting an inside scoop; wanted to see me break down, but I didn't let them. When the curtains fell, the lights were turned off, and I was tucked into bed, that's when I cried. I cried for everyone that day. Mikan and Natsume for watching over me, and him for protecting me like my personal guardian angel. They were all nice people and they didn't deserve to suffer like that, especially him. I was supposed to be the one in the coma and I was the one who was supposed to die. Not him, never him.
After that, no one saw me smile or giggle. My eyes lost the sparkle that used to be them and I was lost in the world of inventions. Mikan and Natsume stopped checking on me since two months ago and now I was alone in solitude. I stopped at the bridge that was my destination. My lips turned heaven bound for the first time since he died and closed my eyes.
I'm coming after you, my love. Hayate, you don't have to wait any longer.
"Miss," I heard someone call from behind me. The voice was heavily accented and startled me. I opened one eye to face a man. The soft wind blowing caressed his soft blonde hair and his blue eyes stared straight at me. When I looked into them, I saw worry and concern.
Why would he be worried over something like me?
"What?" I snapped impatiently. This man shouldn't be here. He had a life to live and he shouldn't waste his precious time trying to stop me. It was futile. I had already made up my mind.
"Please don't tell me that you're going to jump," he asked in a drawl with an amused look flitting across his features. I raised my eyebrow; I wondered what he had found so amusing. If he had assumed that I was going to jump, then why would this be a laughing matter? It was an odd reaction; I could tell he wasn't like anyone else.
I growled and shot back, "What would it be to you?"
"Obviously, if you're thinking of killing yourself, there are more effective ways than jumping off of a bridge," he smirked as he ran his fingers through his hair, "You could have just stabbed yourself, brought a gun to your head, or drinking poison. Why jump off of a bridge? I see it as a cope out."
"How so?" I asked. This man was odd. Unlike most people, he actually suggested me other ways to kill myself. Does he actually want to see me die?
"You could swim or be saved. Unlike those other choices, you have no choice, but to die harshly. Jumping off of a bridge wouldn't have much of an impact like those other suggestions, Miss. So I assume that you are tempting the devil? You want others to think you want to die, but you really want to survive," he replied back.
"Hardly."
"So why a bridge, Miss?" he inquired as he tilted his head a little bit to the right. He reminded me of a confused looking puppy.
"Because that's how he died," I responded simply. On this bridge, Hayate had turned so that the truck would crash into him instead of me. The impact spun the car wildly and the outcome was that the truck driver, him, and I all ended in the river.
It was his turn to arch his eyebrow, which he did as he inquired once more, "Who is he?"
"My fiancé," I bit out coldly. I raised my left hand for the man to see the ring that he had gotten me. It was a silver band with a single amethyst in the middle and two small diamonds on each side of the gemstone. He had told me that the color of the gemstone had brought out my eyes. Most people didn't get engaged so quickly, but celebrities on the other hand? It's common to see them wed early on in life.
"Ah," the man said as he finally got the half-painted picture that I drew for him. He nodded absently as I gazed down at the swirling sparkling blue beneath my feet.
"Well, would you like coffee and we'll talk about this elsewhere?" he asked.
I looked at him as if he was the oddest man alive. I was about to kill myself and he was asking me to get some coffee with him. I appreciated his attempt to get me to back down from the bridge and back down from my depressing thoughts. But no, what an Imai wants, that's what they'll get and I wouldn't be able to live up to my name until I jumped off.
"Sorry, maybe later," I replied curtly as I stood as close to the side as I possibly could and jumped. I let go of the railing and plunged for my demise. It was my turn to die and fade away until no one on the face of the Earth could possibly remember me.
Why give up? Why give in?
It's not enough, it never is
So I will go on until the end
We've become, desolate
It's not enough, it never is
But I will go on until the end
I sucked in a breath and felt the sub-zero water touch the tips of my feet. I didn't fight against the water; I just sank in. My thoughts raced gave to the beautiful memories of my fiancé and me before all of this happened. After what felt like an eternity, I welcomed the darkness that befallen on me and blacked out.
Deeper and deeper, I sunk and I was in bliss.
Surround me, it's easy, to fall apart completely
I feel you creeping up again (In my Head)
It's over, no longer, I feel it growing colder
I knew this day would come to end, so let this life begin
Where was I? I thought to myself. The pitch black comforted me, though I had always preferred the light, but right now I liked to hide among the shadows. Then I saw him, holding a lantern. He looked eighteen, the same when he had died. Young, but powerfully wise. His eyes were weary from fatigue and he smiled my favorite crooked grin. I walked over to him, but he held out a hand to stop me in my tracks.
"What is it?" I looked at him puzzled.
"Hotaru, why did you do a stunt like that?!" he barked angrily, wiping off his smile, but his eyes had given way of his angry façade. He was worried and concerned; he was overprotected of me.
"To be with you," I whispered. I thought it was a good enough reason for him. Looking at his face, it obviously was not. His face was contorted in slight anger that he tried to mask in vain. I looked at him puzzled by his facial expression.
"You shouldn't have risked your life like that over something like me," he scolded lightly.
I took a step closer to him, yearning to feel protected in his warm and strong embrace. My head was tilted slightly to my right in confusion as I replied lowly, but steadily, "You ARE my life, mi amor."
"Chica," he sighed his pet name for me as he finally obeyed my unspoken wishes and held me in his arms. He smelled the same familiar clean soap scent with a hint of axe. His nose was buried in my hair and my face was pressed against his muscular chest. It was exactly how I remembered him. I was so thrilled to be with him once more.
He looked at me seriously, his eyes penetrating through my soul, "It's not your time to come to the afterlife. I don't want you to die before your actual time, by the time you die, you will have traveled the world, tasted life, and see your great-great grandchildren live."
"But I won't have any without you," I protested as he patted my head in comfort. He turned the pats into gentle strokes that relaxed me; unconsciously, we began to rock back and forth in a slow rhythm.
He replied in my hair, "You will have to continue life without me, Chica. We'll have to meet again in another lifetime, Chica. Until then, farewell… Remember that I'll forever be your guardian angel, but we hold no promise together."
"But I love you, mi amor," I whimpered as he started to draw back. My eyes looked at him pleadingly, don't leave me again was the though racing through my head. Besides that, I was paralyzed to the ground, not even aware of our surroundings.
"Je t'adore," he responded back, smiling softly and sincerely. We always had a love for using phrases in different languages. I smiled back, unwillingly, but nonetheless a smile.
"Why are you leaving me, once more?" I asked.
He gazed at me affectionately, "My life is over as yours is just beginning. I give you blessings, Chica. Farewell."
And with that, he started to move back… Into the world of shadows and I stood there. Not in anger or agony, but in mild thoughtfulness and in melancholy. That time was passed by and I felt someone shaking my arm. I stirred a bit, in the middle of consciousness and the dream world where my love was. Remembering his command for me to start my life, I slowly pulled myself out of the land of dreams with much difficulty.
Why give up? Why give in?
It's not enough, it never is
So I will go on until the end
We've become, desolate
It's not enough, it never is
But I will go on until the end
I've lost my way
I've lost my way
But I will go on until the end up
Living is, hard enough, without you fucking
Opening my eyes, I was staring back into a pair of lapis blue eyes as wide as the moon. The man with the soft blonde locks had parted his mouth into an o shape and stared back at me, stunned. His surprise had not affected his ability to bounce back and call for help from the doctors.
He was dressed differently from when I had seen him last, or at least from what had recalled. He glanced at me with friendliness in his blue orbs and spoke, "You owe me a drink of coffee, Miss."
I smiled at him, but everything ached. The man was like how I had left him last. He was different from most people with his choice of wording and way of dealing with things. Instead of asking if I was okay, but it was plainly seen that I was alive and breathing so that confirmed the okay part, he had told me about the coffee deal we made with each other, although I never really confirmed it. I closed my eyes briefly and recollected myself and replied hoarsely, "I suppose I do, Mister…?"
"Nogi," he responded easily as he watched the door for it to move, "Ruka Nogi."
"Mister Nogi then," I commented back.
Without waiting for him to ask me something out of the box as he usually did, I asked a single worded question that I couldn't stop myself from blurting out, "Why?"
"Why?" he asked, his head turning in my direction instead of the door. His eyebrows were furrowed in confusion.
"Why am I still alive?" I asked plainly, not flinching like how he did when he heard the harshness of my inquiry.
He shrugged his shoulders, "When I saw you jump, I knew that I couldn't just walk away just like that."
"Guilty conscience?"
"Yup," he replied unfazed from my question.
It was his turn to ask me a question, although a silence had fallen upon us while he had thought about how to phrase it correctly. After finalizing his thoughts, he asked me, "Why did you give up just like that, Miss?"
"Hotaru," I corrected him, not really paying attention to him as I thought about my answer to that. I always hated when people were formal with me, and I don't want the man that saved me to address me to 'Miss' as if he weren't my equal, which was hardly that.
"My fiancé died, Mister Nogi," I replied back.
"Ruka," he clarified as he continued, "I know that much, but did he mean that much to you to throw away your life like that?"
"Yes," I shot back, without skipping a beat to think about it. My love for him would take me around the world to search for him and then some. I wasn't whole without him standing next to me.
"But is that what he would have wanted? For you just to give up without a taste of life?" He inquired seriously. His words hit me cold and all I could do was blink in response. He chuckled dryly at my reaction to his question, knowing that he had hit home. That damn bastard was smirking that he had stunned me for a moment, but it didn't stop my mind from thinking.
It's not your time to come to the afterlife. I don't want you to die before your actual time, by the time you die, you will have traveled the world, tasted life, and see your great-great grandchildren live.
I cringed as I replied painfully, "But I can't live without him."
"But is it what he would have wanted?"
You will have to continue life without me, Chica. We'll have to meet again in another lifetime, Chica. Until then, farewell…
"No," I whispered back to Ruka, who had nodded to me encouragingly.
"Why don't you follow his wills and live? Taste life, travel around, and settle down?" he asked me gently.
"Because he's not with me," I replied, with a roll of my eyes. This man was sure dumb, why didn't he understand that I wanted my love? Why didn't he understand that I refused to live without my love by my side? He just didn't understand me at all.
"Try to move on," he persisted, "People all around the world are dying at this second. Children are crying out for their mothers and wives are losing their husbands in wars. Not only that, but also in car crashes, murders, and heart attacks. Those women stayed strong and lived, why can't you?"
"I'm not them," I replied smartly, masking my hurt. He was rubbing in my face how fragile I was; how vulnerable that I am about his death.
"Try to be, after all… That's what Hayate would have wanted," Ruka had commented back with a thin smile playing on his lips.
I gasped, stared at him wide-eyed. How did he know of my fiancé's name? Sputtering, I had not been able to build up the courage to ask him how. Chuckling lightly at my reaction, he replied to my unasked question, "Natsume Hyuuga is my cousin. Through Natsume, I had met Hayate briefly."
I nodded speechless. I wondered why the doctor was taking so long in coming up to the room to check up on me. Usually, it only took a matter of a few minutes, not 10 about. I sighed and another blanket of silence covered us. Piping up, "Natsume never mentioned you."
He looked at me through his blue eyes, "I wouldn't be surprised. He isn't one who likes to chat idly about his family, now is he?"
"Touché," I agreed. Natsume was a silent man of almost no talking. To hear him say something personal about himself was like experiencing a snow day in the middle of July.
Why give up? Why give in?
It's not enough, it never is
So I will go on until the end
We've become, desolate
It's not enough, it never is
But I will go on until the end
I've lost the way
I've lost the way
But I will go on until the end
The final fight I win
The final fight I win
The final fight I win
But I will go on until the end
The doctor finally appeared with flurries of apologies that both Nogi and I accepted. He checked up on me and spoke endlessly on how lucky I was and reported my status. None of it interested me as much as the young man that had saved me. When the doctor parted, telling me that I'll have to stay another day, just in case, the door closed.
Before any of us could speak, I heard Hayate's voice in my voice…
I give you my blessings, Chica… I'm setting you free.
After that thought entered my mind, I heard Ruka speaking up, "So, when you get out of the hospital, we're definitely on for that talk over coffee that we planned?"
With an amused smile plastered on his face, I just had to smile back. With Hayate's saying in the back of my head, I responded, "Why not now? We'll get to know each other better."
He nodded curtly and started for the door, "I'll go get the coffee now. Starbucks or Dunkin' Doughnuts?"
I wrinkled my nose at the mention of Starbucks and replied, "The drinks at Starbucks suck, we'll go with the other option."
"Something in common already, Hotaru," he replied back and left.
I smiled to myself, my life just begun with this man that I didn't know. For some reason, I had the oddest tug in my heart for him. Maybe this is what my love had meant by giving his blessings. For the first time since I had received the promise that Hayate had given to me when he was alive, I took off his ring without a single hesitation. Satisfied, I comfortably sunk into the pillows and closed my eyes and waited for Ruka Nogi.
What can I say? I was intrigued.
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Ending Notes: So, this story was made in dedicated for all of my friends in real life, for being there for me. I haven't given them a shout-out… Ever, and I feel kind of bad… Angelcent0824, Anscoppers95, truemindfreak13, taktak95, and of course devilangel5141, you guys are my sisters for life, I love you guys. You guys have listen to me complain about writing, and etc. Angelcent0824, you heard most of it and checked out most of my writing… Anscopper95, you read all of my Fanfiction and left me reviews… Because I begged you too… Haha, so now you can read me thanking you and dedicating it to you.
Of course, I can't forget the wonderful people that I've met on Fanfiction this year: Mimi, Janica, and Janet who are the best online friends a girl could ever have. Not to mention in the list, Starooo who I've met through Janet. You guys rock. Oh, and I can't forget Paul who doesn't read fanfiction, but I talk to you a lot… That Dude for because you're Janet's next lover… So yeah, this is for you too.
This story is mainly for everyone out there who have supported me ever since I joined Fanfiction back on my old account, leaving me decent reviews, friends, favoriting my story, and putting them on alert. It honestly meant a lot to me.
Although, this story was mainly written out of boredom and frustration from the fact that whenever I wanted to blow off some steam, I wrote this to help me overcome it. The song was Until the End by Breaking Benjamin, for those who want to know. I rushed through it… So it wasn't all that good at all. The ending was slightly cliché, but can you press the green button and give me your opinion? I'd love to hear it because this is my first Hotaru/Ruka story, so give me softer blows.
Did you like it, love it, hate it, or disliked it? I want to know… SO REVIEW POR FAVOR?!
Love & Luck,
xAvenging Angelx