Two-shot. Only because Lulu and Sky insisted on the second part.

Otherwise? I have no explanation. Blame the aforementioned insistors.

TIMELINE MARKER:

No spoilers for either but for reference's sake . . .

Psych: Early season two-ish.

SPN: Early season three-ish.

Oh and WARNING for those easily squicked, and/or male. There is mention/discussion of girliness.

And I ain't talking about Shawn's scream.

Dedicated to Lu who asked for dirty boys and blood. I don't think this is quite what she had in mind but . . . oh well. :D

Send any therapy bills to her. ;)

"Hey, Shawn," Dean said without preamble. "What do you know about . . . uh . . . um . . ."

And that's where the freight train of conversation took a header off the cliff into the valley of silence.

"About . . ." Shawn said when it appeared Dean wasn't going to continue.

"Uh . . . about . . ." Dean stammered.

Shawn arched an eyebrow. "Baby seals?"

"What the hell?" Dean said.

"I don't know. It could have been your question."

"Seriously? You think I'm going to call you out of the blue and ask for everything you know about baby seals?"

Shawn shrugged. "As a Psychic Detective I get lots of weird questions. Speaking of which, what was yours again?"

"It was what do you know about . . . . um . . ."

"About . . ." Shawn prompted again, rolling his eyes.

Dean mumbled something and Shawn frowned.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that."

"Periods!" Dean repeated. "Okay? What do you know about periods?"

Shawn blinked. "They come at the end of sentences?"

Dean sighed, annoyance clear. "Not THOSE kinds of . . . periods."

"What other kind of-" Shawn stopped cold, eyes widening. "Wait. You mean . . ."

"Yeah." Boy, could you sound any more uncomfortable over a phone?

"What the hell, Dean? Why do you want to know about THOSE kinds of . . . that?"

"I'm just . . . curious."

Yeah. And Shawn was the freaking Queen of England.

"No way, dude. There's a reason and I want to know what it is. Is it a girl? Are you getting SERIOUS with a girl?"

"What?! No! There's no reason, Shawn. I just-"

"Is that Shawn?" a female voice said in the background.

"Yes," Dean said. "No! Wait! Sam! Give me the damn-"

"Shawn!"

Shawn blinked. The details were coming together, but the picture they were forming had to be wrong.

". . . Sam?" he said finally.

"Shawn! Dean pissed off a witch, only when she retaliated he ducked and it hit ME instead and now I've been turned into a girl!"

Shawn blinked again. "Wait. What?"

"It's true!" Sam insisted.

And, really, weirder things had happened.

So Shawn shrugged. "Okay. So- Wait. Why was Dean asking about-"

"Because," Sam mumbled.

Silence. Desperate silence waiting for a punchline that never came.

"You're joking. Right?"

"Oh fuck, I wish, Shawn. I really fucking wish I was."

"Um. Wow. Uh. Why . . ." He paused, thought about it, then continued. "Why don't you ask Juliet? You know, she IS a girl."

Silence came back, though it was of the embarrassed variety now, then Dean's voice in the background came back with, "What did he say, Sam?"

Sam coughed. "He, uh . . . He said to call Juliet."

More silence.

Shawn was sure a silent blame game was taking place.

"Uh, thanks, Shawn. Um . . . Yeah. Thanks. I've got to . . . Bye."

Shawn grinned. "Sure, Sam. No problem. Tell Dean I want pictures."

Sam all but growled, "Don't count on it."

The call was ended and Shawn replaced the phone in his pocket with a chuckle.

It vibrated a moment later and he found a text message.

A very pissed off—and rather pretty, but quite obviously female—Sam glared back at him.

Shawn just laughed out loud.

Yeah. And that's not all. But I'm waiting for the second half to be betaed.

Review, please and thanks. :D