Forever

Darkmoonphase

It's moments like these that I start to wonder why the world is the way it is. Sasori became someone I needed desperately.

I'd never made a mistake such as that that angered my god so. SasoHida

Rating: Teen

Genre: Angst and a bit of romance but not very much, sadly.

A/N: Sorry it's so short. That's all I could get out of it. Please review when you're finished.

When everything seems right, I wait for the wrong.

It's moments like these that I start to wonder why the world is the way it is. There's this saying that when someone died, a baby was born. Everyone said that it made sense but I just believed that it was horrible. It made me think that the world was just out to get people like me. It was like the whole universe was watching you be miserable and then when you started to feel happy, it'd take away whatever made you feel like that. From me, it took my love. He was the one person who understood me – or at least tried – and he was the only one who made me feel so happy to be alive. For as long as I knew him, it didn't feel long enough. And maybe that made me greedy. Maybe my greed was what cost him his life.

Have you ever noticed how time seems slower when you're missing someone?

Every moment hurts me.

Sasori was someone I hadn't really thought about. He was someone I saw every once in awhile but he was never someone I'd ever think of being around. He was strange and quiet, reserved and quick to anger. I was usually described as crazy and loud, obnoxious and almost always angry. Sasori was a puppet and I was immortal. I'd never looked at that one fact. It was something that wasn't all that important compared to everything else. At some point, I bumped into him and we got to talking. I wasn't really sure what I could say to him. What would a puppet who'd been around for less time than me be interested in – besides his art? It didn't take long, though, before we found common ground and time seemed so irrelevant.

Sasori was someone I could waste time with and never get bored with. He was interesting and I felt so calm around him.

The only important thing to me is your life. I couldn't care less about all those other things so long as you never leave me.

The best thing I can think of about Sasori…is that he was always willing to listen. He'd just take that minute to hear what I had to say – and he wouldn't argue with my thoughts, which caused me to be even more confused when people did. He'd help me clear my mind. So in return, I'd listen to his frustrations and try to help him out. He usually laughed at me but he'd tell me that I'd cleared up his thoughts and worries. Deidara used to get so mad at me because I was the only one who could get him to smile the way he did.

He had such a beautiful smile – one that made my heart stutter when I saw it.

Do my eyes give away too much?

It wasn't until he'd been away on a mission and I'd been left alone, did I start to think about how I felt. What did I feel? I felt admiration, protective, possessive, breathless, and full of life when I was around him. And I was lonely when I wasn't in his company. It'd all been just for fun when I'd really met him but I knew that it was no longer the case. Sasori became someone I needed desperately. I'd never really felt like I'd needed anyone before. And then I suddenly did. What could I say to that? What could I do about it?

But over all, I wanted to know what I felt the way I did.

Why do I feel?

Can I erase the pain I felt? No, I cannot. I'd never felt such horrid pain before in my life. It was not an experience I'd ever want to feel again. Most pain I savored but that I tried to wash away so desperately. The feeling of rejection was a feeling that I had never thought I'd receive. When I told Sasori the way I felt, he brushed it away and ignored the confession. Instead of continuing our lives the way we'd become accustomed to, we went about our lives trying to avoid each other. My rituals bore so much more relevance than ever before.

I'd never made a mistake such as that that angered my god so.

You weren't important. Yet I valued your opinion the most. But you didn't care. Now I won't listen to you because I don't care.

With every fiber of my being, I wished that I could have felt his touch one last time. For one instant, I thought that we'd part on horrible terms, that we'd never speak again. But then he caught me off guard, pinning me down and just staring at me. And for a moment, I wondered what I'd done to anger him. He smiled suddenly and brought our lips together. The thought of hating him melted. That was it. All I got was that one night. Throughout that night, we kissed and touched and I wished that it had never ended. Our night, our moment…We made the best of it. That's all I asked from him – was a moment.

I guess that was his way of telling me that he loved me, too.

Let me scream away my emotions so I won't yell at you anymore.

Ah, but what's life without fear? It was difficult to wake every morning knowing that Sasori was no longer there…Knowing that he'd left a week ago and still hadn't returned. But it wasn't as difficult as living once I knew why he wasn't coming home. Every day seemed like torture. I wasn't sure what everyone expected from me. Deidara made snide remarks about Sasori's death and I tried not to kill him. The pain was hard to live with...I knew that I was going to have to live with that pain forever. Time was something that I could never evade. No matter how much I tried to forget and move on, I knew that I could do no such thing. Why? Because I had nothing to move onto. There was nothing more I could live for.

He was supposed to be there forever with me and he wasn't there at all now.

I am all alone.