How to Wash a Raptor

A/N: After watching a really good episode of Storm Hawks that focused primarily on Luegy and reading some of Mystical Lycan Knight of Hell's stories, I made this. Repton and his brothers are fed up with Leugey never taking a bath, so they give him one themselves…or at least try to.

Hoerk was walking through the halls of the Raptors' main stronghold looking for his older brother Repton.

"Hey Repton! Where are you?! We gotta steal that Chroma Crystal from the Storm Hawks!"

Suddenly, Leugey appeared from behind Hoerk and startled him, causing him to scream and jump backwards.

"How many times have I told you not to do that?!" asked Hoerk.

"Oh yeah. I just remembered!" laughed Leugey.

"What do you want Leugey?"

"Have you seen da boss around here yet? I can't find him."

"I don't know where he is. Why don't you go ask Spitz?"

"Okay Hoerk!"

Leugey ran away from his tall bulky brother so he could go look for Repton. But as he left, Hoerk started to sniff the air and this foul odor penetrated his nostrils.

"What the…"

Hoerk lifted his left arm and smelled his armpit.

"Is that me?"

Hoerk proceeded to perform the same maneuver with his right arm, only to scratch his head in confusion.

Meanwhile, Spitz was in combat practice prepping himself for the raid to come. He knew that the fight with the Storm Hawks was gonna be tougher than ever, so he needed all the training he could get. All of sudden, Leugey appeared and jumped into the middle of the fight, almost getting struck by his boomerang.

"Hey Spitz!"

"What Leugey?! Can't you see I'm practicing for the raid today? I don't want to be bothered!"

"Do you know where the boss is?"

"Why? You wanna ask him if you can keep a leaper as a pet again?"

"NO! …Yes."

Spitz started to sniff the air in a similar fashion as Hoerk did, inevitably plugging his nose after finding the source of stench.

"Leugey when's the last time you took a shower? Or brushed your teeth?!"

"Repton said I shouldn't waste my time doing careless things and worrying about hygiene is careless. I don't like taking baths anyways." said Leugey, folding his arms.

"And you actually listen to what he said?!!?"

Leugey scratched his head in a confused state. "Gee, I guess I did!"

"Repton we gotta speak to you." said Hoerk, walking into Repton's chamber.

"What?" hissed Repton, not wanting to be bothered.

"Did you say Leugey wasn't supposed to take baths anymore? He's really starting to stink up the place boss!" said Spitz.

"I don't care! Leugey needs to train more so he can become as powerful as you and I Hoerk!"

"Hey! What about me?!"

"Shut up Spitz; you're not important." said Hoerk.

"Besides, I'm pretty sure the two of you can handle Luegy'sss sweat for a couple more weeksss." hissed Repton.

"Hey boss! BOSS!!!" yelled Leugey.

"ARRRGH!! WHAT?!! What do you want Leugey?!"

"Is it okay if I roll around in that pile of slime and old milk in our basement?"

Repton sighed exasperatedly while pressing his fingers against his forehead.

"Leugey…why would you do that?"

"It's not my fault boss! Spitz and Hoerk want me to take a bath! You never said I couldn't bathe in rotten milk and slime!"

Repton could only reply by staring at his dumbfounded brother.

"Get in the bathtub Leugey!" shouted Repton.

"No."

"Get in!"

"NO!"

Repton and his brothers were straining to drag their smelly brother into a bathtub so they could finally clean him up and no longer have to deal with his stink anymore. But Leugey was holding his brothers back with his massive weight so they weren't able to get him in the tub. Hoerk, fed up with his resistant brother, took out his spear in order to knock him out.

"This will only hurt for 22 seconds." assured Hoerk.

But at the last second, Leugey lifted his arm so that Hoerk was forced to smell his armpit. Hoerk couldn't do anything else but plug his nose and waft the smell away.

"A little help here Repton?"

"I'M TRYING!!"

Spitz suddenly grew a brain and he tripped Leugey to the floor, nearly knocking him out. Repton and Spitz both grabbed his malodorous feet while Hoerk held his head. The three of them lifted up his body and began to bring it to the bathtub like he was a table.

"Okay, on three: One--"

Hoerk suddenly dropped Leugey's head and it hit the floor.

"I SAID THREE YOU MEATHEAD!!"

"Oops." said Hoerk meekly.

All of a sudden, Leugey woke up and accidentally farted right in front of his brothers. The smell was outrageously horrible and a large green cloud filled up the bathroom. Repton and his brother were appalled and momentarily blinded, so Leugey used this opportunity to run out the bathroom.

"Get back here Leugey!!" yelled Repton.

And so, Hoerk, Repton, and Spitz proceeded to chase after brother so that they could give him a bath. Well, Repton not so much; he just wanted to give his brother a beating at this point.

"Hey Leugey! If you come out now, I'll give you a leaper!" said Repton, holding a leaper in his hand.

"MINE!!!" said Hoerk.

Hoerk snatched the leaper out of Repton's hand and swallowed the whole thing in one bite, before belching loudly.

"Ah, that was good!"

Repton growled gutturally and bonked Hoerk on the head with his fist.

"OWW! What was that for?!"

"That leaper wassss meant for Leugey not you, you stupid--"

Before Repton could finish, Leugey threw a set of dirty underwear onto Repton's face, shadowing his mouth and nose.

"HEY!! I found my lost boxers!" said Hoerk.

Repton and his brothers were now outside tracking their brother around their stronghold. One of Repton's cronies reported seeing him running around the place setting traps everywhere.

"Leugey is the one who was seen setting traps all over this place?! Since when did he grow a brain!?" wondered Spitz.

"Don't worry about that now. Let's just find him so we can give him a bath." said Repton.

"Wait! I think I hear something…" whispered Hoerk.

Just as Hoerk took another step forward, he yelped when a rope snatched his foot into the air and he was dangling upside-down. Immediately afterwards, a bunch of water balloons filled with urine hit him all over his body. Repton and Spitz couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't just stand there! Do something!"

"Yeah…we come back after we find a set of gloves."

Leugey suddenly showed up from a dark alley within the stronghold and yelped when he saw his two brothers looking for him. Leugey, once again, began to run away.

"HEY!! Stop right there Leugey!" yelled Spitz.

Spitz chased after his stout light green brother and witnessed him jump over a patch of sand on the ground, not knowing why he did so. But Spitz soon found out when he stepped on the sand and fell through it. It turns out that Leugey dug a hole and filled it with Repton's dirty socks, then covered it with a weak patch of sand. Repton ran up to the hole and looked inside it, growling at Spitz's stupidity.

"How hard isss it to spot a trap when you see one?!"

"How hard is it to wash your smelly socks Repton?! Will you get me outta here?"

"Get yourself out! I'm gonna go find Leugey!"

Suddenly, Leugey threw a set of rotten eggs at Repton and hopped over a large black tank with various scribbles on it. The tank was several feet taller than Repton was and it was impossible for him to jump over it, so he took out his orange boomerang and started to slice down the tank. After he was halfway down, hot brown liquid poured out of the tank and spread all over the ground everywhere, knocking Repton to the ground and covering him in the muck. Unfortunately for Repton, he just unknowingly sliced his way through the septic tank. Repton stood back up while holding his nose and roared loudly, furious at his brother.

Realizing they smelled horrible, Hoerk, Spitz, and Repton were washing themselves off in a bathtub, with their still smelly brother Leugey watching them.

He laughed and said, "Don't forget to scrub your back!"

Repton growled and threw his boomerang at Leugey, nearly chopping his head off. Leugey ran away.

"Heh heh! Yeah, don't forget to scrub your back!" said Hoerk.

Repton grabbed a bar of soap and stuffed it in Hoerk's mouth.

FIN.