Woooooooooo! I'm BACK. Back, of course, to my old emo self. That's right, ladies, (and the minority of guys out there,) I have reverted back to my old style of writing; horribly depressing emo abuse fics that leave you questioning humanity. Or, I hope they do.

I've been inspired by Until You Catch Me by Flower_on_thewind for a long time, and have been wanting to do something a little similar. (Kevin and abusive father.) But never got around to it because I didn't want to piss anyone off. But now I don't care! Yay me! So here it is, about four times more graphic and angst-filled and mean. Please review!

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"You won't believe what he's been lying to you about, either."

"Kate, shut up!"

"He wouldn't tell you in a million years, but I know. I have pictures."

"Please stop it!"

"What is she talking about, Kevin?" Lee demanded, concern rising cautiously in his voice. The girl between them stood proudly, holding in her grasp a Polaroid photograph. Beyond Lee, Mariah rose from the sofa and Gary turned around curiously. Rei took a step forward, up beside Lee. Kevin looked like he was either going to start crying, or pass out from panic.

"This." The blond said suddenly, shoving the picture forward. Kevin jumped for her arm, trying to grab the photo, but Lee was faster. Taking it into the light, he squinted down at it for several moments before it registered with him that he was really seeing what he was seeing. Kevin stood there, frozen in fear and shock, while Kate smiled at him with such an evil payback-is-a-bitch look that not even Kevin could pull it off on a regular day. A long, long moment passed while Rei and Mariah leaned over Lee's shoulders to see it too. It wasn't until Mariah snatched it from Lee's fingers and gaped at it that Kevin turned to leave, only to have his hand caught by Rei's. Turning to meet the eyes of the older, Kevin found nothing but fear and confusion, and Rei saw complete fear.

"Kevin, what the hell is this?" Lee almost breathed. An uncharacteristic blank stare had claimed his face.

"Please tell me it's a birthmark, Kevin. Please." Mariah said, closing in on tears. Kate smiled.

"Oh no, it's not. I promise."

"Kate, shut the fuck up!" Kevin sobbed, eyes misting. The girl blinked, suddenly not sure of herself.

"So you get beat up, so what?" She asked in a rude tone. Lee shook his head.

"Kevin doesn't get beat up. We… He's always with us, I thought. Chen hasn't been near you, has he?"

Kevin bit his lip and tugged at Rei's grip, which had since traveled to his wrist. He said nothing. Rei asked something similar and he shook his head, hesitated, and blurted that he didn't know. Mariah's eyes watered.

"Then how the hell did you get this? These… This bruise, it's… it covers almost your whole back, Kevin!"

"I don't know!" Kevin sobbed again, tugging hard at Rei's grip. Kate stood, suddenly surprised. She had thought that Kevin had just been getting bullied, and when he acted like he didn't want anyone to know, she didn't think it was that big of a deal.

"It's red, purple, and black! How the hell can you not know?!" Mariah cried, clenching the photograph so hard that it started to crinkle. Lee stepped forward.

"Is it still there?" Rei asked softly, trying to calm Kevin down. The youngest was only growing more frantic by the moment. Suddenly, Kevin lost hold of the judgment he had on his actions, and stopped thinking about what he was saying.

"Of course it's still there!" He yelled, tears finally breaking free. "How does something like that ever go the fuck away?!"

"Kevin, calm down. Please. Just tell us what happened. You can trust us, we're your friends. You're family." Lee said cautiously.

"God, don't say that!" Kevin yelled back. He finally broke from Rei's grip, but didn't run. "I don't want any more family, what I have is horrible enough!"

His friends all started, surprised at this outburst. Kevin was breathing fast now, nearing hyperventilation. Rei moved forward calmly so not to scare him into running away. He felt his eyes warming, as though he himself might show a tear, but he refused to let it out.

"Kevin, please…"

"No! K-Kate's lying, th-that's not m-me! I'm fine, l-leave me alone!" Kevin shouted before turning and rushing away, as fast as his legs could carry him. Lee made to follow before Rei caught his arm and shook his head. Together, completely shaken and petrified, his friends watched the direction he had run off in silently.

Kate had vanished.

-x-x-x-

Kevin closed the front door of his house behind him gently, exhaling despite the ache in his chest. He had collapsed a while back, pulled himself into a ball, and eventually over came the panic attack. It wasn't an uncommon event for him; he knew to breathe deeply into his hands and watch that he didn't hit his head, but that was only how to deal with the attacks, not prevent them. Lately, he had been getting more and more, and it was taking a toll on him. Dizzy and tired, the neko-jin slowly began to walk down the hall, whipping his eyes for the thousandth time; they had dried up long ago, but the feeling of the tears once being there bothered him.

As he reached the kitchen, the smell of alcohol hit his nose, and he froze. Please be mom, please be mom, oh god please let it be mom, he thought frantically. Stepping cautiously around the corner, tattered relief flooded his senses when he found his mother slumped against the counter, wine glass in her shaking hand.

"Hi mom."

Jumping, Kevin's mother turned suddenly and stiffened as if to defend herself. Spotting her son, however, a relief three times greater than Kevin's swept over her. She ushered him toward her gently, still shivering.

"Hi there, sweet pea. You okay?"

"Yeah." Kevin lied, crossing the kitchen and pressing against her. She set down the wine glass and hugged her small son, smiling pitifully to herself. She kissed the top of his head three times, gently. Before letting him step back, she made sure to check if he still flinched when she hugged him hard. He did.

"Oh my baby boy… Did he hurt you?"

"No, mummy." Kevin lied again. His mother wasn't capable of taking the news that he was still being hurt. She was enough of a wreck; two glasses of wine before bed, followed by shaking and crying into her pillow. Actually, she always shivered. She had shadows below her eyes and her once beautiful hair was dull. Her face, so beautiful if only she wasn't so tormented by her life, was sinking and pale, with a bruise on the right side of her jaw line and a split lower lip. Still, she smiled weakly at him.

"You know I love it when you call me mummy." She said quietly, stroking Kevin's cheek. He tried to smile for her. He really, really tried. But it didn't come out like he wanted it too, and it made his mother frown.

"How's school, sweetie?"

"It's good. I got an A on that science experiment." There. It felt good to be honest sometimes. His mother smiled honestly to match the honest statement, and kissed his forehead.

"That's my boy. You're so smart, you know that?"

Kevin tried to chuckle and found that he was proud of how it came out. "You never let me leave for school without telling me." He said, smiling gently. She returned it. It wasn't always that simple, to answer the school question. Sometimes his projects would get destroyed during a war.

Or at least, that's what he called it when his father rampaged around breaking everything. Because it was chaotic and scary when it was happening, and the aftermath was staggering. Science projects, art pieces, math homework, all burned or torn or used as something to throw across the room. Kevin knew all too well that his border-line average-poor grades at school were because of that.

"Want to read the next chapter of our book?" His mother asked hopefully. It was the best thing in the world, when she asked Kevin that. An old book, full of stories about good prevailing over evil, some with pirates and some with nights, some with wizards and some with regular people, was stored out of harm's way. Whenever they had the chance, Kevin and his mother would find some safe place and she would read him a chapter while they both tried to escape life. Happily, Kevin opened his mouth to respond, but as his vocal cords began to assist him in speaking, the slam of a door flying shut caused both of them to jump. Had Kevin's mother been holding her wine glass, it would have dropped and shattered on the floor. Spinning around to face the entrance of the kitchen, Kevin felt his heart rate speed up considerably.

"Go to bed." His mother said suddenly, in a hushed voice. Kevin stood there, almost unable to move. His mother shoved him forward hurriedly.

"Hurry, go to bed now." She said, shoving him roughly along. Kevin bit his lip and stumbled forward before finally catching his footing and breaking into a run. He raced out of the kitchen, down the hall and around the corner, up the stairs and down another hall, into his room, and closed the door tightly. He closed his eyes, took five minutes to steady his breathing, and listened.

It took a few moments before the voices even reached him. He slid down his door and closed his eyes tightly.

"What do you mean he went to bed?"

"He said he was tired, so he went to bed. That's all."

"Well I want to talk to him."

"You can't, he's sleeping."

"Would you shut the fuck up? What, you think I didn't get that? Why don't you make yourself useful and make me something to eat, huh?"

"But he-"

A small, distant, and startled cry; his mother had been struck.

"I said shut the fuck up, you bitch."

Kevin looked at his feet sadly. His father wasn't going to come upstairs, and he knew it; he had heard that exchange a hundred times and not once had his father gone up to find him. He only asked where Kevin was because he wanted to make sure that his son was home before he was. He wanted to come home to two servants, not just one he had already cracked.

"And make me something to eat, goddamnit!"

"Alright, dear…"

A thump; his father had dropped his bag on the floor. "Why the hell are you drinking? What, you're not happy?"

"No, dear."

Kevin looked toward his bed. A couple blankets, three pillows, an old stuffed bear from when he was young. He wanted so badly to climb among them and hide, but he told himself that he had to be strong; he had to grin and bear it, or people would find out that –

Kevin set his jaw. People already found out. The people. His friends. They saw that picture, that stupid picture Kate had take of him just after he slipped in the mud and pulled of his shirt to see the damage. He hadn't known she was there, and he hadn't the slightest clue that she was wielding a camera.

"What the hell is this?"

Kevin closed his eyes and half-listened to the conversation downstairs while contemplating how he was to approach his friends after that.

"It's something to eat. I thought-"

"I want a meal, not a goddamn sandwich! And you're job isn't to think, it's to do. My job is to think, and me alone!"

"Well maybe you should give your son a chance, he's smarter then you!"

Kevin's eyes snapped open. Rarely, oh so extremely rarely, did Kevin's mother talk back to his father. It never ended well, either.

"What?! That little shit is almost as dumb as you! How dare you say something like that?!"

Please mom, Kevin thought, please just apologize and run away. Please don't fight back.

"Of course he's smarter then you! If you didn't ruin his homework all the time you'd see that!"

"Shut up!" Kevin's father roared so loudly that Kevin could hear it clearly upstairs. He flinched and bit his lower lip, a shiver setting in.

"He's failing school because he'd rather try and protect you, isn't that right? That little runt would rather be with his mommy then away from me. That's why he's smarter then you, he knows where he belongs!"

"He's petrified of you! He-"

"He'll be doing what I say long after you die, you stupid fuck!"

"What, are you going to kill me? Is that is Bernard?!"

"Just shut up you stupid whore!" The man roared again. By this time, Kevin's face was pressed against his hands, and tears were flowing freely. His shoulders shook painfully as he sobbed. Why did they have to fight? Why couldn't things be like they used too? Muffled thumps and short cries followed. Kevin looked at his feet through watering eyes and listened to his father beat his mother, cowering in a ball against his bedroom door. After a while things seemed to calm down, but then he heard his mother scream. It wasn't a scream of pain, but rather a scream of shock and horror. And Kevin had heard it several times before; the strained pitch, the groaning echo, the sobbing at the end.

His father was raping his mother. Kevin's heart frosted over with fear, petrified that he knew what was going on below his feet. It also sparked something else to arise in Kevin's mind.

Just four days ago, Kevin's father had come home drunk. His mother had suffered his wrath before Kevin had come out of his hiding place, thinking it was over. His father, sitting in his easy chair with yet another beer can in his hand, snagged Kevin by the arm and pulled his son into a deep kiss, tongue to tonsils. Choking on his father's tongue, Kevin squirmed and whimpered and fought helplessly. The second his father pulled out, he slurred the following;

"You've got the same fuckin' face as yer mother, only yers' isn't all pale. So wassa difference if I fuck you too? I like th'sounda that. Two bitches insteada one."

And Kevin had run to his room, horrified, knowing that his father was being honest. Things only got worse with his father; from being yelled at when he was young to being beat up only a few years later, Kevin's father had gotten physically abusive very quickly. The kiss was the red flag, screaming to Kevin that it was only a matter of time before his father acted on his drunken words. And that scared Kevin more than anything in the world.

Downstairs, Kevin could hear his father call his mother a bitch. He could hear heavy footsteps coming up the stairs moments later, and before he could even dive for his bed the door behind him flew open and he tumbled backwards. His head landed directly between the feet of his father, who looked down at him in surprise for a moment.

"Sleeping my ass." He growled through clenching teeth, swinging one foot forward to kick Kevin's shoulder. The boy yelped and pulled away into a kneeling position before the man. He ducked his head and shook there, scared as hell. He expected something physical and painful, but after a long pause of nothing happening, Kevin lifted his eyes to his father's dark face. The man was sneering.

"Go hide behind your whore of a mother. I'll deal with you tomorrow."

And with that said, the man left. A few years seemed too passed by before Kevin burst into a run downstairs, crying and fighting a panic attack. His mother had already forced herself to sleep on the couch, and not wanting to wake her, Kevin hid in the closet the rest of the night.

-x-x-x-

"Kevin? Sweetie where are you?"

Kevin's violent eyes blinked to life and peered through the groggy blackness of the closet. He was curled in the same ball he had been in when he fell asleep, and now he was stiff and aching from the position.

"Baby, please come out. Please, it's okay."

Kevin shifted and sat up, the arm of a jacket trailing over his shoulder.

"I'm in here, mummy." He said with a cracked voice, knowing that his mother would hear him. There was a fumbling limp from outside before the door opened slowly. The second his mother's eyes fell upon her son, they began to water ever so slightly.

"Baby, what did he do to you?" She whispered, slowly lowering herself to her knees. Kevin just shook his head, having cried himself out last night.

"Nothing mama. He didn't touch me."

The woman looked at her son hard, but he didn't change his mind. Heaving a sigh, she lifted her arms and ushered him from the depths of the closet. It was an invitation he took cautiously, moving from the corner of the small dark space to his mother's arms. She held him like that for a while, aware that although he wasn't there, he had heard everything. Kevin felt her arms quiver against his bruised upper back, indicating the emotional mess she would always be. And to this he sighed and pulled away.

"What time is it?"

"A little after nine."

Kevin stiffened at this, suddenly plunging back into the fear he had come out of in the closet. "But school! What I'm I supposed to tell-"

He stopped short, but not because his mother was shushing him. He had nothing to tell his friends, nothing to cover up what was going on. Slowly, mind a complete blank on what to do, he fell back into his mother's open arms and stared into space.

"It'll be alright, sweetheart. We'll just tell them you caught a cold. No big deal, right?"

Kevin swallowed, shifting closer to his mother. That's what he felt it. That small, almost unnoticeable bump around his mom's stomach. He blinked.

"Mom, what is…" He asked slowly, leaning away. His mother paled suddenly, before looking down at her abdomen.

"Kevin, I… I have something to tell you. I, um… I'm…"

"No."

"Kevin, I'm pregnant."

"No. No, mom, you… you…"

"Please, baby, don't cry."

"But he'll kill it!" Kevin gasped, voice suddenly gone. Horror was the only emotion pumping through his veins, accompanying each red blood cell in his body. "Like the last one, mom, he'll kill it!"

The woman did not cry. She just gazed at her child, the only one of her pregnancies to survive out of five, and felt whatever was left of her happiness crumple away. She knew how hard it had been just to keep Kevin alive in her womb, to keep him safe. She had almost failed at doing that, and with her supposed husband at an abusive high, she doubted this one would make it. How many potential sons and daughters had she lost because of his anger? His drunkenness? And what she finally managed to bring a child into the world, he was small because of her malnourishment. He was sick. He was a miracle, surviving the illness and surviving her husband to this point. Her most prized possession in the entire world was her son, her baby, the only reason she had to live. And here he was, mourning another to-be-dead sibling, a brother or sister that was to be taken away from him yet again. Was it for the best? Was bringing another child into this environment a sin in itself? Surely it deserved a fair chance at life. Surely it had the right to live.

"I won't let him, mom. I won't let him hurt you."

Pale purple eyes snapped open. He had made this promise before, so many times, and whenever he got in the way he managed to fulfill his promise. At a price, of course. His father would turn all the rage on him and then some, sometimes beating him within an inch of life. It wasn't worth it, she would tell him. Don't do that to yourself, it's not your responsibility. And, fearing for his own life, he would eventually cave and she knew he regretted every minute of it.

They stayed before the open closet door for what was easily an hour and a half. They were silent for a while, and then eventually they started to talk slowly. About stupid things. School, science, homework, all spaced out with long pauses and awkward, heavy silences.

"Please don't try to protect me, Kevin. Please."

Kevin gazed toward his mother, tired eyes blinking slowly. "I can't just sit back, mom. I know what he's doing to you. I can't let him."

"But he'll just do it to you." Kevin's mother said, not understanding that Kevin had implied about the rapes. Remembering that drunken kiss, he stiffened and looked away, suddenly afraid again.

"Okay mom." He whispered , hating himself for it. "Okay."

If only you knew, mummy…

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Oh dear, the poor little thing. A statement that can, of course be implied to both Kevin and his mother, or maybe the fetus if you're looking at it that way.

But hey, maybe now that his friends know, something will happen? … Maybe?