hey guys! so i was listening to my ipod today and it gave me an idea for a songfic. i put this chapter together in about an hour as a test run for the possible story it might become. tell me what you think so i know if i should dump it or not! hp and song belong to their rightful owners!

Would you mind if I hurt you?

Understand that I need to

I had no reason to be here. Everything about this place repulsed me to a point that made me almost physically ill. Hogwarts was once my home but now it seemed more like a prison with it's large, cold stone walls caging me in, cutting off all hope for escape. I felt suffocated in this place like it was slowly choking what little life I had left out of my body. I lost everything in the Final Battle for Hogwarts. My friends and their families, my parents, and even my enemies. All dead, all gone. Leaving me by myself to rot in this hell hole that was little more than the broken remains of a once great, powerful school.

These rooms held too many memories, painful or otherwise. Either way it hurt like hell to stand here. I wanted to yell, I wanted to fight this but nothing would come out of my dry, cracked throat. I hadn't spoken a single word since the Final Battle. I had no reason to. I died that day. Maybe not physically but mentally. I was just an empty shell of the pathetic book worm I used to be. Every fiber of my being has changed since then. I have lost all sympathy for those who suffer. They don't know what it means to suffer. They cry for losing one friend, maybe two. Try loosing everyone you have ever cared about in the matter of four hours. I knew my bitterness was abnormal for me but I could not control it. It was the only way to keep the heart crushing, chest collapsing pain at bay.

The Great Hall was different than I remembered it being. It was more like a graveyard than a place for celebration. So many lives were lost here, so much anger and pain was shown here. It was almost a punishment for anyone to set a single toe in the room. A little girl (I assume she is a first year) passed me, she was shaking with such intensity that I was sure she had a disorder. But I soon realized that it was due the eeriness of this school rather than a mentally condition. She looked around the room, what she was searching for I wasn't sure. The small blond did a one-eighty until she was looking at me. Her eyes widened as she glanced me over. She made her way back over to me with slow, uncertain steps. Words stammered out of her mouth, trying to make the sentence she wanted to say.

"Are you Hermione Granger?" She asked in a quiet voice. I nodded my head to her, detached from the little girl, detached from everyone. "So you were here that day?" I knew what day she meant and simply nodded my head again, wishing she would leave so I could be alone. She kept eye contact with me the whole time she had been standing there. It was unusual for one so small to be so brave. Not many could look at me since the battle, it wasn't out of anger though. They couldn't even bring themselves look at me. I was one of the few who survived that day and a walking reminder of what happened.

She copied my movement and nodded "I'm sorry." was all she said before walking away. My eyes followed the small child as she went to stand with others her own age. Her words hit a nerve that I hadn't felt in a while. I wasn't quite sure I recognized it but something felt slightly different to me. Before I had time to question it further the feeling was gone and I returned to my 'new normal'. I felt a hand come in contact with my shoulder. I was sure it was meant as a comforting gesture but it caused me to jump several feet anyway. I turned and saw Professor McGonigal standing there with pursed lips and sad eyes. "Welcome back, Hermione. We are happy you could come." She said the words in a motherly, tender tone. I knew she meant well but still I could only bring myself to nod. McGonigal let out a defeated sigh. "Yes, Lupin has told me you have not spoken since the battle. Hopefully we can get past that this year." I didn't do anything in response. The older lady took a step toward me. "Ron and Harry wouldn't want you to be like this, Hermione. You need to live life to the fullest. If not for yourself at least for them." I was taken aback by her words. I spun on my heels and headed away from the Headmistress.

I had not heard those names in over six months and I was pretty sure I was about to lose it by the sound of them heard out loud. Lupin (who now happened to be my guardian and the last living senior member of the Order of the Phoenix) has gotten used to referring to them as 'they' over the last half year. I hated to admit it but I had not gotten over the fact that they are gone. I mean, I know they're dead but that didn't stop me from expecting them to walk through the door and ask me to help them with their Transfiguration essays. Something inside me hadn't given up on them, and I was clinging to that part of me for dear life.

I found a spot at the Gryffindor table where I could sit alone, away from the prying eyes of my fellow classmates. Most of them were 3rd years or younger. Scattered every few feet you could see an upperclassman or two. Most had not made it through the battle while others just couldn't bring themselves to return to the scene of such tragedy. I was here because Lupin threatened me. Either I returned to school or l moved out of headquarters. Since I had nowhere else to go with no money to get there, I'd be stuck here for my final year.

McGonigal walked up the podium and began her opening speech. I didn't really pay attention or eat my food when she was done. Since the Final Battle I had dropped to a measly weight of 90 pounds. I slammed my fork on the table, done with the stupid thing and just gazed around the room. I looked down at my watch, hoping it was late enough for me to leave and find sanctuary in my Head Girl's dorm. It is 7:45. I'd spent an hour and forty-five minutes here, it was a good enough amount of time. I stood up and started out of the Great Hall. I moved through the halls I had traveled so many times before, taking in the familiar sights. I had two more turns and a staircase to go until I would be in my secret sanctum. There was no head boy this year. No one was qualified enough for the job so I took the responsibilities of both Head's on myself. There was a strange noise that echoed from around the opposite direction that I was headed. It sounded like a mixture of a cough and a gasp.

I took a step hoping that I could just forget about the sound and continue on my way. But the noise returned and caused my stomach to clench. Whatever was happening to that person (or thing. It sounded slightly like a dying animal.) it was painful. I let out a sharp, deep breath and against my better judgment started running toward the noise, not knowing what awaited me when I got there. My feet made a hard pounding sound as they slapped against the marble floor. I looked down every turn to see if whatever was making that sound was there, so far nothing. I stopped to catch my breath and listen for the sound again. A few seconds later I heard it coming from the next corridor down. I ran toward it and skidded to a stop when I reached the hall. A figure about the size of a seventh year boy was huddled on the ground in pain. I ran to him in a flash. He had his arms covering his head so I couldn't see his face.

I turned him over to see if I could identify him or at least his injuries. I gently grabbed his shoulders to steady his body as it shook with the violence of his gasps and coughs. I didn't recognize him as anyone I have ever seen at Hogwarts before, I knew most everyone here. He slowly stopped coughing and caught his breath. He inhaled deeply before attempting to sit up. I tried to help him but he jerked away from my touch. I placed my hand up and away from him, showing that I would keep away. He ran his hands through his thick, black hair before looking up at me. He had a very handsome face, kind of like an old movie star. But his features were hard and distant, just like mine had become over the past months. He stared at me with cold, dark (almost black) eyes. "Thank you." He said in a less than sincere voice. Everything about this boy was unwelcoming.

He stood up, I did the same. The boy brushed off his robes before once again returning his gaze to me. He sized me up before extending his hand to me. "My name is Tom Riddle." I heard myself gasp out of shock and fear. Now I saw the resemblance, how I could forget the eyes that had haunted my nightmares for years I would never know. But there they were, staring at me. My fear was replaced with utter rage and anger. I jumped at the boy, putting everything I had in me into punching him, any part of him, so he could feel even a sliver of the pain he had caused me. He did not defend himself right away due to the shock of a small, weak girl attacking him. Once he got his bearings he grabbed my arms, restraining me from causing further damage (it was then that I noticed I had managed to split his lip). His touch felt like it burned me, every inch of me hated this man with such intense fury that I would have killed him then and there if I would have had the chance.

"Tom Riddle." I scowled, saying the first words I had spoken in almost 6 months. My voice was hoarse and scratchy but it held so much contempt in it that the boy raised his eyes brows at me, surprised by my actions and words. I tried to fight my way out of his grasp but it was no use. He was too strong and due to my lack of eating, I was too weak to wretch my arms from his hold on me. I felt the world around me go dark as I stared into the eyes of the one man I hated most. I collapsed and let the comforting darkness engulf me.