AN: I changed this drastically since it was first published. I didn't care for the randomness and it's gone now. Enjoy!
Chapter 1
Angelina sighed and stretched out on the couch as Fred rubbed her feet. It was the perfect August morning. An early summer shower had left the grass and flowers and trees looking beautiful. The sun had peeked out of the clouds, warming up the burrow and everyone in it.
Well at least everyone who was awake.
Angelina pulled a letter out of her pocket and smiled. She had read the letter at eight o'clock that morning when she had come down for breakfast. It was now nearing a quarter past ten and she wanted more than anything to make use of the ammunition she held in her hand. "Fred, what time does Ron usually wake up?"
Fred shrugged. "Whenever he feels like dragging his lazy arse out of that bed."
"Well I found a letter on the table. It was from-"
"Oy, Fred! Look at this, mate!" George shouted running into the living room pointing at a picture in a magazine. Fred snatched it out of his hands and grinned.
"We could do that to Ickle Ronnikins!"
"Put him on the roof-"
"Find a spell to conjure up birds-"
"He'd never know what hit him!"
The twins laughed gaily as Angelina folded her arms and cleared her throat. "Well this is all very nice but-"
"Oh! Sorry!" George said nudging Fred in the shoulder. "I'll leave you to it, then."
Fred turned back to Angelina as George left the room. "What were you going to say?"
Angelina held out the letter, "This is to Ron, from Hermione."
"You went through Ron's mail?"
"Well, not really. It was just lying there. I saw it was from Hermione, and you know they fancy each other... I wanted to see if they admitted it yet. Of course they didn't."
"You read Ron's mail?"
"Yes, I don't see-"
"I love you!"
"Er, okay… anyway. Read this."
She handed Fred the letter. He read it out loud:
Dear Ron,
As much as I was looking forward to visiting you next week, I'm afraid I can't. My mother just had a baby last December, (that's why I haven't been writing to you) and I'm taking care of her while my parents are at work. They're depending on me. I wish I could see you but it's not a good time. I'll see you on the Hogwarts Express September First.
Love From,
Hermione
"Well, well, well." Fred said.
Angelina smiled. "She said she wishes she could see him. That's how a girl says, 'I'm in love with you'."
"It is?"
Angelina ignored him. "We have to get Ron to tell us that he likes her more than just a friend."
"What about us?"
"What about us?"
"Well aren't you here to see me?"
"You'd like that wouldn't you?"
Fred pouted.
Angelina laughed. "Course I came to see you. But this is puppy love, and we have to prod things along. They're meant for each other. Come on Fred. Can't we play matchmaker? Please?"
"I don't know… Helping really isn't part of my repertoire."
"I'll make it worth your while." She said, leaning forward slowly and unbuttoning the first two buttons of his shirt.
"Wow… um okay. Let's go wake him up. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to know you've read his mail."
"I think I have an idea about how to make him confess…"
"If it's anything like what you just pulled on me, I'm sure it'll work."
Ron rolled onto his stomach, dreaming about Quidditch as usual. He was just about to knock the opposing teams Quaffle away from the goal hoop when it began to snow. The large white flakes began to cover the ground in a thick white blanket, three feet at a time. The snow reached as high up as him, and began to soak into his pants, making the cold seem even bitterer. He opened his eyes. The cold was still soaking into his briefs.
"What the fuck?!" He shouted, leaping out of bed. Fred and Angelina smiled at him. He glared and shamelessly reached into his pants, pulled out the piece of ice that Fred had put in there and dropped it to the floor. He was on the verge of exploding.
"Good morning, Ron. How are you?"
A large wet spot had formed on the front his blue flannel pajama bottoms. He clenched his hands into fists at his sides. "I'm going to kill you!" He yelled, his face turning so red it was making his unruly red hair look dull, even his chest was taking on a pink hue.
Fred pushed Ron down into a chair. "We have a proposition for you, little brother."
Ron was about to say something when a rope bound his hands to the arms of the chair. "What is this?"
"This is an intervention."
"A what?"
Angelina stepped in. "We want to know how you feel about Hermione."
Ron raised his eyebrows, looking incredulous, "What?"
Fred put another ice cube down Ron's pants. Ron's eyes widened in shock, he tried to get out of the rope that bound him down. "Let me go!"
"Not until you say how you feel about Hermione." Angelina said.
"Bloody hell!" Ron yelled angrily. "She's my friend, have you two gone mad?"
"Poor baby Ronny." Fred said, pinching his younger brothers cheek. "You don't even know what's going on in your little hormone crazed mind do you?"
Ron gritted his teeth. "My pants are wet, I have ice invading me in an unbelievable intimate way, and I'm tied up. You may be older than me, but you better be long gone when I get out of these ropes."
"Feisty, little thing isn't he?" Angelina said with a laugh.
Ron glared at her. "More feisty than you may think."
"Yes, so let's just be done with this so I can get on with my life." Angelina said, "Just tell us the truth and we'll let you go."
"It's none of your business who I fancy."
Fred folded his arms, "It became my business when your damn owl started screeching at all hours of the night. With letters from Hermione I'm guessing."
Ron strained against the chair. "Let me go!"
"No."
"I'm not going to crack, so just go away!"
Fred put another two ice cubes in Ron's pants. "I think you will."
Ron sucked in a breath as the cold spread through him. "God-Fred! What have I done to you?"
"Well there was that one time when you turned my sheets into a snake. Oh! And then once you took away my towel and clothes in the bathroom when I was taking a shower."
Angelina snorted.
Fred and Ron stared at her.
"Sorry, it was funny. Please, proceed."
Ron lifted himself off the chair, trying to dislodge the ice. "Of all the days in the year, I chose today to not wear boxers."
"You like her or not, Ron?" Fred asked.
Ron kept his mouth shut.
"You're only hurting yourself." Angelina said.
"Bloody hell! I'll say! I'll tell you! Just untie me!"
"Tell us first."
"Yes! I fancy her okay! Will you let me go?"
"As more than a friend?" Angelina asked.
"Yes, as more than a friend, now let me up!"
Fred and Angelina exchanged looks of triumph and untied Ron, who immediately fled to the bathroom.
"Now all we have to do is tell him what to write in that letter he's going to send to Hermione." Fred said. "Or rather you'll have to tell him."
"What do we do if he won't write one?"
"I think your ice worked well."
"It really did, didn't it?"
A/N: Hopefully that's a bit better. Speaking of bits, poor Ron's probably experienced some shrinking, no?
::evil laughter::
Best wishes,
Lenny