How Sasuke Learned to Love Christmas
by vernajast

naruto x sasuke

After this weekend, if he ever heard another jingle bell, he was going to shove it so far down the ringer's throat that they—

"Oof!" Sasuke groaned and ground his teeth as another parent lifted his filthy offspring up onto "Santa's" lap. The plastic chair groaned as the round little boy plopped down onto Sasuke's knee and started to bounce up and down. It took every ounce of self-control for the Uchiha not to shove the damn thing off his lap.

"Oh, c'mon, bas-jerk. Smile for the kids!"

An automatic glare in the blond idiot's direction only confirmed his suspicions; Naruto was laughing at him. That dumbass was so stupid he didn't even realize how ridiculous he looked in that lame, cartoonish reindeer costume.

"No." Sasuke rolled his eyes and stared at the camera when prompted. The little boy was rattling off some kind of toy list mostly consisting of video game cartridges and DVDs. God, did kids even watch DVDs anymore? He was pretty sure most people streamed movies over their Internet connections.

Most people didn't include Naruto, of course. The dobe had a DVD collection that took up two bookshelves (when asked where the actual books that belonged on those shelves had gone, Naruto had just shrugged, a cryptic smile curling the corners of his lips). Naturally, they were all pornographic. Big Breasted Beach Babes, Hot Tub Hotties, Ranger Jane and the Amazonians...that one was particularly stupid, and none of them were worth the amount of money that idiot must have sunk into them. Not to mention, having been something like friends for the last ten years, he'd never seen any of the DVDs removed from the shelf. If he didn't know better, Sasuke would have sworn they were never watched, as if Naruto liked the idea of porn better than actually watching it.

"...-ister! Hey, mister!" The same meatball kid was swaying side-to-side on Sasuke's knee; he was starting to get a cramp.

"What." It wasn't really a question. More like a dare. he dared the kid to do anything other than get off his damn leg.

"I know you're not really Santa Claus—duh!—but when you go back to the North Pole to give your report make sure and tell him I've been good okay 'cause I really want those games 'cause they're awesome and last year he brought me a stupid football and—!"

"Fine." Sasuke pushed a little, hoping the boy would get the hint. Luckily, he did, and he slid awkwardly from "Santa's lap" to the ground. "I'll have him send you a bike, too. You need to do something other than play games now and then." He shot a look at the boy's dad for good measure. What were parents thinking letting their kids sit on their asses all day in front of the television. Not that he and Itachi had been any diff—Che. Never mind. It was best not to dwell on his own Christmas memories. He didn't want to worsen his mood (not when he knew Naruto was bound to do it for him).

As he watched the round little boy and his father walk away, Sasuke wasn't surprised to feel a hand drop onto his shoulder as if on queue. "What do you want?"

"Sasukeeee!"

Oh god, the whining. He was starting that already?

"Sasukeeee, you never buy meeee video gaaaaames!"

Naruto's voice was a mixture of spoiled brat and amused teasing—and neither was completely an act, either. Sasuke had bought Naruto all sorts of things over the years, but he'd never once bought him a game for one of him many systems. It was bad enough that he'd had to put up with his playing at all times of the day and night and at all volumes over the three years they had been college roommates. He certainly wasn't going to bring home a new game and get him addicted all over again.

The giant clock at the center of the mall chimed. It was 1pm. Their volunteer shift was finally over. How they'd gotten roped into doing something so stupid Sasuke had yet to determine. It had something to do with Professor Hatake and his literature lesson on Charles Dickens, he knew that much. Naruto had commented that Sasuke was a complete Scrooge, just like the character, and then, somehow, he had been volunteered completely against his will to dress as Santa Claus for four hours of holiday hell. "Let's get out of here."

Naruto just laughed at him and followed him inside "Santa's House," a small changing room and place to stash their stuff. It was a real prefabricated house in the middle of the mall, just tall enough for both of them to stand inside, and with just enough space for them to take five or six steps in any given direction. They each peeled away the sweaty costumes and hung them on the hooks where they had found them. Given that both costumes had reeked of body odor before they even put them on, the odds that they would be washed before the next poor volunteer got stuck inside them for hours were low. Too bad. All Sasuke knew was that he was finally finished and he could just forget about the whole Christmas thing for another year.

"Hey, uh, Sasuke..."

Something about Naruto's voice caught Sasuke's attention and he looked up. "What? What's wrong?"

The expression on Naruto's face morphed from tentative and maybe a little scared to mischievous and sly as he stepped closer to his best friend. His eyes kept darting up to a spot above Sasuke's head.

"Is there a spider or something?" Sasuke's voice was monotone and stale. He was not in the mood for this.

Naruto took another tentative step forward. Apparently he wasn't quite sure about what he was doing, but he still planned to do it. "Look."

The tone of his voice was actually causing Sasuke a bit of concern. He'd never heard Naruto sound so serious, so he slowly raise his face toward the ceiling. There was some kind of leaf or plant or something hanging there. "What the hell is...oh."

Mistletoe.

[ . end ]

A/N: Just another day in their lives together! They're not together yet in this one, though. :D YET. I haven't decided if they had sex in the little house or not...hm.