Ch 9

Mmmm, lately I have been watching Nabari no Ou. It's so cool! I love the little guy, he reminds me of Ciel Phantomhive from Kuroshitsuji. Just more passive. Blah blah bla… Let's go to the story.

_________________Apologies tend to be useless________________

"Kanda, are you sure I can use it? You won't mind?" Allen was holding a blue sleeveless sweater. It was knit, warm. Allen buried his face in it, feeling the fluffiness of the cashmere. It smelled of pines and grass. The boy smiled, his face hidden in the article of clothing. It smelled like Kanda, just fainter. Behind him, Kanda was sorting his clothes. They needed to get back to HQ, and really fast. He frowned, detecting a strange smell in the room.

"Oi, moyashi, did you fart?" Allen gaped, turning around and sticking his fist out, revolted.

"Whaaa? I did not! I don't smell anything! Maybe it's your stinking breath!"

Kanda ignored the fool, inhaling the air in small portions, like a dog. He wondered across the room, sniffling, trying to detect the source of foul miasma. Allen tilted his head, watching him with curiosity. Kanda changed a lot. He always thought Kanda was a stoic samurai, incapable of mistakes, feelings, and other crap that makes a person weak. The Kanda he grew to know was an entirely different person.

Kanda was approaching towards the oblivious boy like a shark, in circles.

He was kind. Allen smiled again, gentleness overflowing his mind. He was careful and strong. He always put the honor and pride before himself, his and his Order's pride. The boy raised his face from the depths of the fuzzy sweater. This man nursed him, ignoring his own needs, forgetting his pain and, to some extent, manliness. He giggled, remembering the day Kanda first fed him.

The shark moved dangerously close.

Yup, now Kanda was so nice as to give him his own sweater, because the only clothes he had were pierced, bloody, and really dirty. He suddenly was grabbed by the neck.

"Don't move, Moyashi. It was you after all!" He smacked his head, a bit furious.

"But I didn't! I can control my body very well! And I still don't fe-" Kanda was too close. His nose was almost touching his chest, finally detecting the source.

"Allen, did you change your bandages?"

" I did, a few hours ago."

"It smells rotten." Kanda straightened up, looking coldly at the boy.

"But I swear I changed them! Why would I lie?" He watched the tall man boldly, revolted.

"Because you're ashamed." Kanda watched him like an experienced surgical specialist dissecting a mouse.

"I..ug…I'm not! I really di-Kanda what are you doing?!? Let me down!!!" Crap, the man was tall. Here, from his shoulder, he could probably hit his head with the door. Kanda gripped the squirming boy, trying to balance him on the shoulder and avoid being kicked in the face with the knees.

"Don't move, brat, or you'll hit your head with the doo—"

Too late. Allen gasped, clenching his head. He saw rainbow colored stars and bright dots jumping madly up and down. Kanda rolled his eyes, shocked by his partner's stupidity. A few more steps and they were in a luxurious bathroom. Tch. Ticky really had a bad sense of fashion. This place was made for twenty people to take a bath. This won't do. He sighed suppressing an annoyed swear.

Moyashi was screeching on his shoulder like a miniature Medusa, threatening to sue him for rape, molestation, and other nasty themes. At some point, the brat hit him with the knee directly in the face, yelling "Bull's eye!!!" then proceeded to bang in Kanda's back with his small sharp fists. Kanda thumped him on the floor, then straightened, slightly resembling The Babel tower before destruction.

"WOULD YOU CUT IT OUT?!? DO YOU WANT TO DIE, YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT??? BE GRATEFUL, BASTARD, THAT I AM TAKING CARE OF YOU, AND QUIT MAKING MY DAYS HELL!!!"

Allen eyed him, his face growing livid with every word.

"I make your days hell?" he whispered, chuckling. "What a joke. Did you ever think about MY days? Do you know how humiliating it is for me to be babysat, like some child, by you? Do you know what's it like to be powerless, waiting for help, and then swallowing the pride, to receive it faking the gratitude? I am a soldier, Kanda. Just because I look like this doesn't mean I have no pride, or honor, or… I don't want you to touch me, thinking that I am a burden. I can take care of myself, change my own bandages. Don't you ever dare touch me, not with those thoughts. If you do, I will kill you, mentally. I can do it well, believe me."

He stood up, taking his overgrown shirt off. The bandages hugged him from the upper part of the torso, down to the hips. He activated his akuma weapon, and still smirking, cut slowly through the fabric, facing Kanda. The older man just stared mutely. He never thought of him as burden. He never…

The bandages fell off, revealing a badly reeking wound. Allen frowned, trying to contain the pain of reaping off the bandages glued to his back. His façade wouldn't hold any longer, he needed to hurry. The cotton was stuck in his back wound, glued by time, pus, and blood. He needed to rip it off rapidly. He clenched his jaws and bent his hand backward, trying to get a hold of the bandage. With every movement, the body cried out, not able to suppress the pain.

"You're not a soldier. You are just a dumb brat with no sense of direction. Soldiers don't hold speeches, they act." Something hot and wet was placed on Allen's back. Kanda was behind him, with a wet towel soaked in hot water.

"Kanda, I tol-"

"I don't care what you tell me. I wasn't listening. I was thinking about soba and hot tea." The words fell like huge gigantesque axes on Allen's foot. His eyes narrowed, trying to hold in the anger.

"You are such a jerk, you know that? Do you even have any respect for me? Why do you always have to be such an ass? What did I ever do to you to earn that hatred?" He was staring over his own shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of Kanda's eyes. The man jerked the bandage off in a fling of fury. Allen snarled loudly grimacing at the blinding pain.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT HURTS LIKE HELL!!!!"He reached out trying to grab Kanda's arm away, away from his body.

"Tch. Soldier my foot. You can't even endure one of the basic things."

"BASIC ????? IS BEING PIERCED BY A SWORD BASIC?!? YOU BASTARD!!! Why, why are you doing this to me?? Why are you hurting me?" The boy shook in uncontrollable bawling.

"Kanda, do you even realize what you're doing?" Kanda watched him coldly and then turned his eyes away.

"You are pathetic, moyashi. You have no right to call yourself a soldier. I have no mercy for weaklings." He turned away, pacing out of the steamy room. At the door he stopped and said loudly, shattering the pieces of hope still intact.

" I should have left you die. I had no idea you can be such a burden." The door clanged, allowing Kanda leave.

Allen screamed as if somebody inserted a red iron in his ass. He hated him, oh how he hated him! He squirmed on the floor, unable to influence his jerking body. He started to laugh, madly and sinisterly, feeling despair and insanity dominating his head. He kicked the wall, crushing the toes, yet not feeling pain. The ceiling watched him impassively. His nails dug into the white skin, leaving traces of blood and pain. He laughed forcefully, wanting to get away from the returning agony.

"Go away, go away!" He rocked front and back, gripping his chest and staring widely into the white marble floor. "Go away, please go away…" he murmured, desperate. The hysteria was dying slowly, unsure to leave the small pale body. He finally prostrated on the cold, wide floor, feeling an immeasurable emptiness.

Somewhere a small droplet of water finished its days in a puddle. Kanda….why did he say that? His eyelids were heavy, seeing a murky and a misty image of a palm tree that had no place in the bathroom.

The sobs left him dry, and the vapor was sucking his moisture away. The tongue was heavy, like a piece of inutile gold. He gulped slowly, tasting nothing. What will he do now? The water slowly coldened, irritating like a wetted bed. It crept under him, filling the voids of his body. He slowly started to tremble, the muscles exhausted and raw. His eyes closed, weary with time and tears. Sleep came fast, taking over the drained body.

The dawn was cracking its eyes open, a bit grumpy because of the lack of sleep. It stretched its hands away, coloring the sky into a peachy hue. The light invaded the rooms of the abandoned mansion, sliding gaily over the red walls and slipping carefully inside, just to rest on a sleeping face. They warmed the spot, like huge lenses, mischievously gleaming.

The ray bit his nose, licking it roughly. He knew he had to get up, just not yet. Just a bit longer he had to be in the welcoming warmth. He shifted, letting the light bite another cheek with delight. The covers were cozy, a coziness too hard to ignore. Snuggling into the hot pillow he wondered why it had a heartbeat. The sleep still drifted in the air, making him wonderfully tired and somehow content. He giggled feeling a warm ray touching the curve of his neck. His eyelids were too glued to each other to be opened; he just let them be comforted by the blackness that prostrated itself in front of him.

There was no pain, no agony, just happiness, plain and pure happiness. It filled him inside, like a stuffed turkey. He smiled again turning away from the light and the gleeful rays. The eyes finally opened, letting in the light.

He was facing a male chest.

Allen closed his eyes again. This was too weird for his brain capacity. He went to sleep alone, did he not? He frowned, trying to recall the past events.

Realization struck him like a giant fist. The bathroom. His body tensed, summoning the pain of the previous day. He never went to sleep. He never went to his room.

Kanda.

He jerked his eyes open. The samurai lied next to him, embracing his back and curving, so that his chin rested on the boy's head. That… He tried to pull away, his gaze falling on his own chest. It was already bandaged and dressed in a large white shirt; the one Kanda wore at night. He shifted crudely, for the sole purpose of waking the man up, and then… What will he do then?

Kanda sighed in his sleep, the embrace growing much tighter. Crap, he will be crushed if he doesn't get awa-

"Moyashi?" The man let him go, sitting up. He watched Allen with a half confused half sleepy gaze.

"How do you feel?" Allen was mute. How shameless. He could not believe that this bas… bastard with a big, no, HUGE "B" was acting innocently.

"You…What are you doing here?" The hatred in the voice was very noticeable. Kanda stared at him with clear and indifferent eyes.

"I was sleeping, I believe." He yawned covering his mouth. The next second he was slammed into the bed.

"You…YOU!" Allen was on top of him, gripping his neck.

"I, I" Kanda responded calmly. Suddenly Allen gasped. All the oxygen in his lungs seemed to run outside for evacuation. He opened his mouth but no words came. No, Kanda was not strangling him. His eyes widened, detecting a red dot on his bandaged chest that started to enlarge quickly.

"Don't move so soon. Yesterday you let the wound be and lost blood. So much for your bandaging skills." Allen breathed slowly, still staring at Kanda under him. His fists uncurled, leaving rosy marks in the palm.

"You t..tol..me..you...die…" There was no air. Kanda put him down lifting his torso.

"I told you I should have let you die. I know" He pulled up a pillow snuggling it under Allen's back. The air came back, rushing in the airways. Kanda got off the bed approaching a low table. He came back holding a cup of tea. He let the boy sip gluttonously, before taking it away. Allen panted, his thirst finally calming.

"Why?" The question stopped Kanda in his track.

"What why?" He mockingly raised one brow.

"Why did you say that?"

"Said what?"

"That you should have let me die."

Kanda turned his face toward the window, seeing something very, very interesting.

"I don't want to die." Kanda turned around and sat on the bed. He curved his back, letting the hands support the head.

"Moyashi, do you hate me?"
Allen blinked. He did not expect the question. His first thought was to yell "Hell yeah!!" but for some strange and unspoken reason he did not. He did not hate him. It was painful and horrible, but he did not hate him. Just like he did not hate Mana. His foster parent cursed him with a hideous appearance, yet…he did not feel that sentiment, he never did.

"I don't. I don't hate you. It just hurts, that's all." He smiled sadly, shifting to face the wall. "The pain will go away, gradually" he continued, "It will die away, but hate…that would be too horrible. I cannot hate you, Kanda. For the sake of my own sanity."

Kanda did not respond. He could see a prey bird soaring high in the sky.

"You still did not answer to my question, Kanda."

'I wanted you to hate me." Allen rolled around too fast, cutting the oxygen. He listened breathless the words of that man.

"I had to make you hate me. It is better for you that way." His voice was serene, calm, and soothing. "Because of my stupidity you got hurt. Because of my idiocy Ticky got away. I failed to protect you, as a leader of this mission. And now, when I cannot possible make it worse, I feel the urge to break you, to make you acknowledge me as the one and only-" He stopped and rose." I cannot give you anything, moyashi. Only hatred. Hatred and pain." He paced toward the window and leaned his forehead against its smooth and cool surface.

"Yesterday I finally showed you who I am. I hate weaklings because I am one. I cannot face myself, while you do it so easily, too easily. Oh, how glad I was you were alive. Yet I couldn't say it. I wanted to hold you, to caress you, instead… I hurt you and…just to appease my mind." The man scratched the glass, painfully twitching. Allen stared wide-eyed, with no power to reply. There was no need to reply.

"I considered you a fool who changes his masks to protect himself, an act of cowardice I could not excuse. How could I not realize their meaning? You were wearing them for others, were you not? You gave them hope while your own soul was splitting in pain!" The man pressed the hand against the window carefully until the knuckles became white.

"You are a good soldier, Allen. A damn good one." He smirked at the look Allen gave him.

"Timcanpy came this morning. He said that Lavi will be here in a few days. The innocence we're looking for is in the base of this house, so we need more people to dig that thing up. So, you just try to heal faster, and then you'll leave for HQ." Kanda pressed a palm against the glass again.

"I don't think you'll see me for a long time. So, just take your time, and try to find people who appreciate you more than I ever did." He rose and was ready to leave when a voice stopped him.

"Are you an idiot or what?" Allen crossed his arms, cocking his head. A glint of amusement was playing in his eyes.

"Who are you to decide who I need in my life? Don't flatter yourself, Bakanda!"

"WHAT?"

"This is the worst confession ever! And believe me, I would know, I had a lot of them!" The boy stood up and approached Kanda with a steady and firm pace, like cholera. Kanda watched him nervously, cursing under breath. He just spilled his whole soul out, and this little bastard is taking advantage of it. He really should have left him di--. No, no, no. There he was again. Allen stopped in front of him, arms crossed and foot tapping.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"That doesn't matter." Kanda frowned, trying to predict his actions. Crap. He could not.

"Huh. So you really are dumb, Bakanda!" Allen smirked, waiting for the result.

"You! You little…" Allen ran outside giggling, forgetting about the wound. Kanda chased him, rapidly catching up. The next second the brat was on the floor, squirming and screeching while the samurai tried to protect his eyes from being scratched out. They wrestled, forgetting the reason or meaning of it, feeling entirely happy. That is until Kanda was hit in the nose with the foot.

Allen was breathing heavily, clenching his chest.

"It.. hurts…" He prostrated on the floor, feeling tired and large, as large as the room. Kanda quieted down, draining the source of cursing and swearing. On his four, he approached the boy and put his head on his chest, to hear the heart.

"You are dear to me, Moyashi." He kissed that chest, the one he personally wounded.

"You are dear to me, dearer than my life." He kissed his eyes next, closing them. Allen smiled and poked his cheek.

"And you did not shave yet. Your cheeks are hairy!"

He really could ruin a romantic moment.

___

Huh, 3000 words. My eyes are dead. My brain is dead. I am dead.

So, the next chapter will be the last one. Thank you people, for reading this. I want to start a new story with 10 chapters, but have no idea about what. Any suggestions

(Crap, I'll have to finish "There were bean sprouts in his bathroom" I still am stuck on the third ch, with no fantasy…)