THE LAST TRIP TO NOWHERE Note from author: there is dialect in this work in the second part. If you have trouble reading it, I'm sorry, but to portray a hillbilly, you have to have the hillbilly accent. Enjoy this two-part expedition of Charlie and Alan

"Charlie, why are we going to Kansas? It's June and hot there. I'll ruin everything I own," Alan complained.
"It's for a business trip," Charlie replied, throwing Alan another bag of luggage. "Are you going to pack or do I need to go alone"
"I'm going, but I just don't understand. The last time we took a 'business trip' together, you were dumped and I had the dumps. How is this trip any different"
"You, my brother, are going to get laid. My friend Maybelle decided to let me stay at her farm for a weekend, and you're going to meet Rita, her younger sister. Now, could you start packing? You take forever and forever isn▓t what we have"
"Fine," Alan sighed. He hated going anywhere with Charlie ever since they got lost in northern California and had to rely on nudists to get them back onto the main highway. The end result was perfectly fine, but the path back to Malibu was not worth the sexual experiences they had with the middle-aged women with sagging problems. Alan hoped, for his sake, that this trip turned out far better.

After twenty minutes, Alan had his bags beside the door. Berta was walking through the den acting like she was dusting.
"Alan!" she exclaimed. "What's this about Charlie and you going to Kansas"
"His latest expedition in the business world. I've called Judith and Jake isn't coming this weekend. I've already prepared the upstairs for us being gone, so now I'm just waiting on Charlie"
"He went outside a few minutes ago with some friend of his, but they're not back yet. I'd get that luggage in the car though. You know how he is about leaving at a moment's notice. And I thought he didn't know how to pull out before the rain hit," Berta smirked. A car horn broke apart the moment. Alan grabbed his luggage and Charlie's and fought through the door. Outside, Charlie had Alan's car filled with two suitcases. The trunk lid was open and Charlie was yelling out the window for Alan to hurry up.
"Well if you'd help me...," Alan strained, throwing the luggage into the truck and watching it fall.
"You're doing fine," Charlie grinned. "Now get in the car. We need to get going"
"I'm trying!" Alan hissed. He attempted to better pack the luggage, but Charlie honked the horn again. "Fine," Alan mumbled. He closed the trunk and walked away calmly. He then got into the car and held on for dear life as Charlie drove away.