AN: Well, it's been a while since I've updated or posted a new story, so I thought… what better way to enter the fanfiction universe again then to post a one-shot? And for an extremely cute/sex-ay couple: L and Light!

Haha, so this little thing of mine is basically a one-shot separated into three chappies, basically sex-tions (sections lol).

Soo, anyway, I hope you enjoy! It's supposed to be funny, by the way. lol

PS: the summary was edited to fit the alloted number of characters

Chapter 1: sweet as sugar

It was an odd day.

Even for a detective who was currently on a case involving a serial killer who killed criminals by heart attack, but for some reason, could only operate with a name.

L took a large bite, fitting the full head of his fork, along with the beanie baby sized morsel into his mouth. Then he chewed, slipping his tongue around the slice, skillfully tasting until the dryness melted apart with his saliva. Then he gulped and flicked his tongue.

Yes, defiantly odd.

He shifted slightly in his seat, closing his knees to his chest and fiddling with his left incisor with his thumb.

Like, Ripley's Believe it or not weird.

Today was one of the days that people told their grandchildren about.

Because no matter how much whipped cream he added, no matter how many coats of chocolate garnish he applied, and even with an added large strawberry dipped in rich dark chocolate, L was just not enjoying his mango cream cake with hot chocolate and a cinnamon stick on the side.

He grunted. His eyes and shoulders drooping in that way that made him look like a defiant teen annoyed with a mother's rant.

L shoved the cinnamon stick in his mouth and attempted to go on with his investigation, checking on Yotsuba's profit over the last month. Half the stick stood outstretched, bobbing lightly as he continued to chomp away on the other half in that undignified, unsightly way he ate all his treats.

Halfway through the ump-teenth chomp L's fingers curled into the fabric on his knees. Right eye twitched in irritation. He sucked irritated on the sugar coating. Vein pop.

L was unamused.

Did nothing taste sweet to the detective today!?

Dropping the half uneaten stick and hopping up on two wobbly legs, L strutted away from his seat at the computer, visible irritation folding his lips into a defiant pout.

L was hungry and bored (and lacking in the required amount of sweets his daily diet called for) so he decided that he would join the infamous "couple" on their…."date".

That is, if you could really call sitting in a drably furnished room at headquarters with camera's recording your every move a "date".

L wouldn't exactly call is a date, but Misa Amane was sure willing to accept anything so that she might have a time alone with her precious Light. 'Her boyfriend' L mused.

Well, L had never really had a problem with being a third wheel before.

So there he was, sitting in the awkward silence that his presence brought. Well, awkward silence at least in his head. In truth, everything out side of the calmness of L's mind was…borderline chaotic.

Light Yagami was menstruating today as always. Insisting that L had forced himself into their date with the intention of noting Light's every move. Looking for Kira implications.

Great. First the cookies and coffee L had Watari bring in were so dull to his taste buds he could cry, and now Light was nagging his ear off about interrogating him, and now… Light was worried about his health.

Yeah, yeah, L eats too many sweets; he's going to get diabetes, blah blah blah…

But amidst it all, L couldn't help but think that Light would make a pretty good house wife. Being the straight-A student he was, Light was probably very skilled in cooking.

L could imagine it:

Yagami, Light

Home Economics: A+

And there went the signature creepy grin.

The teenage genius sighed, and leaned back against the couch a bit. Then he reached over for the coffee Watari had so kindly fetched for them.

L could hardly stifle a chuckle, be would rather not have to endure another rant by the beautiful, but annoying Light.

…but he could still grin, right?

Because Light was currently fixated on the coffee he was gently lifting to his mouth.

L noted how smoothly the cup shifted across the air, gently resting on those supple lips and---

He really couldn't concentrate on anything serious anymore.

Light's pinky stood outstretched from the cup, daintily flicking the air, when the coffee connected with his lips and—

"YOW!"

"Light-kun!"

If L had been paying the site any more heed than he was, he would have had to stifle another laugh. Teenage genius Yagami Light had burnt his tongue on coffee, and despite the rawness of his tongue, had had enough decency to safely set the cup atop the coffee table on a coaster.

Light really was a housewife.

In spite of the hilarity of it all, L had to admit, the nagging housewife looked kind-of cute: Sticking his tongue out, his hands drawn up cupping the sides of it, with his girlfriend hesitantly stammering at his side.

L gawked at the burned tongue, pulsing red from its assault by coffee.

Now, what exactly motivated L to do this is not for me to decipher. L has strange, strange logic that even Light couldn't understand, and despite my position as narrator of this story, I'm afraid that even I don't wield enough power over the characters to explain his train of thought…(I can only be thankful that he thought the way he did!)

After a short series of strange, un-understandable thinking, L had either come to the conclusion that something good could come out of this, or had a revelation.

Whatever is was, he did what did.

'Alright already, so what, per say, did the "strange strange L do!?' you may be screaming, well…

After seemingly careful consideration, L had come to the conclusion that he should lean over, seeing as how Misa was out of the way, and sleekly slip his tongue into the unhappy Light's mouth, and tickle the burned, swollen organ with his own cool one.

And after the smallest of all wet slap sounds, L pulled away and gazed in thought and wonder at Light, who was by now, fuming with anger, humiliation and….butterflies?

Cute blush.

L flicked the roof of his mouth, inducing a "popping" sound with his, by now, tingling tongue, ignoring the squeals of disbelief from the blonde celebrity.

Had nothing tasted sweet to the young detective today?

Or perhaps nothing had just tasted sweet enough.

End of part one, we'll continue in part two: Cute as Cake!

There will be four-parts to this oneshot, so if you want to read 'till the end—review!

With hearts, stars, and rainbow frogs,

Mwah!

See you next time (I hope)!