Because (of him)
- x - x - x -

I told him.

I really did.

All these years... I'd even begun to think that perhaps it was impossible. But I said it. I love you. I stared at Pain, his emotionless face, trying to ignore the parts of my brain that were short circuiting. I liked imagine that his face was in total shock, maybe even blushing. Maybe he loved me too.

But even with my byakugan, I didn't bother to find out. I cut off my vision of him.

Honestly, I was afraid. What if he was horrified?

But for the time being, for the time left, I let the thought that yes, he loved me too, take over. The thought that we would live happily ever after.

Happily ever after.

Narrowing my eyes, I prepared myself mentally and physically. Anything for him, anything for him.

I let out a shout as I charged at the man before me. Juho soshiken... I actually managed my jutsu successfully. I wondered if my father would be proud.

Yes, some part of me thought, he would be. At the very least, he would be, in my mind.

His jutsu hit me. I couldn't dodge it. I wasn't even sure if my own attack hit. I didn't think it did. With a shriek, I felt myself propelled backward.

The ground slowed me, eventually, and I laid on my side, feeling blood trickle down my cheek. A searing pain raced up my right arm.

This was it. It was over.

Funny.

I'd always dreamed of my life turning into a romance.

Never once did I imagine it may become a romantic tragedy.

"STOP!" It was Naruto. My Naruto. Screaming for me. I told myself, I could die happy. He cared, at least enough. My goal was fulfilled: I'd finally told him.

But at the same time, regret and horror flooded into my broken and battered body. This was not what I'd wanted. I'd wanted to grow old with him, to make out with him under a full moon, to love him, and have him love back. I wanted the whole shebang for my story.

As Pain's sword pierced through my chest, I realized that my story was over. There was no happy ending. Tears mixed with blood, as they cascaded down my cheek.

Screaming.

I wasn't sure whom it was. Maybe it was me? I was losing it, everything was going fuzzy. I couldn't breath, and my chest... dear god. It was over.

It was over.

~ - x - ~

Heaven was not quite what I'd expected of it. A white washed ceiling stared back at me, to my utmost surprise.

And in heaven, aren't you supposed to not be able to feel pain? Because I sure didn't have that going for me at the current time. I felt like I'd just gone for a ride in a dryer. My chest particularly hurt. Right below my right breast, particularly. And to boot, my arm felt like Lee had used it as a punching bag.

Talking. I blinked slowly, trying focus on the words. Yes, someone was definitely talking. But I couldn't quite understand what the words were. Oddly enough, it was like they were out of focus.

Someone prodded me in my left arm, and I let out a low moan. Jeez, all this hype about the Will of Fire, and this is the treatment dead people get? I couldn't help but feel disappointed.

I felt something odd in my left arm. Had it been there before? I wasn't sure, but I could definitely feel it now. Something odd... I decided quickly that I didn't like it. Shifting myself, I tried to move my arm, to detach it. Several hands held me down though, appearing out of nowhere. I found myself unable to move. More sounds, as the angels (I assumed) tried to calm me down.

I slowly tilted my head forward, my eyes drowsily locking on where my left arm should be. But I honestly couldn't see it at first. In fact, I couldn't really see anything. Blurriness encompassed my sight, leaving me at a disadvantage. Doing my best to focus on my left arm, the picture started to become clearer.

An IV drip? Would one of those really be needed for the after life?

Of course not. If I hadn't been in massive amounts of pain, and unable to move, I would of smacked myself on the head.

Clearly I survived.

… survived what though? Lowering my head back onto the pillow (which I just realized was under my head) I thought back. What had just happened?

Let's see. Akatsuki! That's right, Pain, a member of Akatsuki attacked the village. Ended up blowing a huge hole in it. Pausing, I slid my eyes closed again, recalling the details.

Naruto appeared. I could distinctly remember the red over coat, with the flames. He looked... grown up, powerful. Like a Hokage. If I was more of a girly girl, I might dub him as a 'dream-boat'. Any which way, I recalled he fought Pain. And was doing especially well.

Until he ended up getting pinned to the ground. Grimacing mentally, I summoned my last few memories.

I ditched Ko. He'd broken his leg, and couldn't stop me. I attacked Pain, and then when Naruto demanded why I was there...

Oh right.

I professed my love to Naruto.

Hold on two seconds... I'm still alive.

… and which means that I will, inevitably, have to face him again.

… Oh.

… My.

… God.

~ - x - ~

I was pretty sure I had passed out, earlier. There was a silence in the air, as I woke up. Everywhere hurt. This time, I closed my eyes and waited for the drowsiness to die. With a clearer perception, I analyzed myself. My right arm was definitely shattered, while my chest, right below my right breast, was incredibly sore, and ached with a vengeance. Even more strange, was the skin around my waist and stomach; it felt like a large burn.

Opening my eyes slowly, I found myself facing the same white ceiling. I felt like greeting it. It was nice to see a familiar face. Ever so slowly, my eyes made their way down. Two figures were sitting on chairs on the other side of the room. Now that I focused on them, I could hear them talking. I wasn't sure why I didn't hear it before.

Something wet poked my left cheek, and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Eh, Akamaru, don't scare her!" Someone laughed softly.

"Is she awake?" Someone else asked shortly. I recognized the voice, muffled slightly by a high collar. Shino.

And of course, Akamaru. I turned my head slowly, and stared at the dog. He was blurry, but I could make out his big cream furry form. Poking his nose into mine, Akamaru stared deep into my eyes. Normally, I might have laughed at his puppy eyes. But I wasn't sure I could. Rolling my head back, I glanced down at my nose.

Sure enough, an odd plastic thing was strapped to my face. An air mask. I had to wonder, what other obvious things was I missing? Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the sound around me; the beeping of a heart monitor, the panting of Akamaru, the whirl of a fan, and four heart beats.

Four? Who was the fourth?

Probably Kurenai, I reasoned, before continuing my end-all examination of my current predicament.

My right arm was bandaged up. It was snapped in three places along my lower arm, and smashed pretty thoroughly around my wrist, but wasn't really hurting too much. My chest-wound was definitely some sort of puncture wound. Oddly enough, it seemed to extend to and through my heart. But that couldn't be. As I would have been dead, if that'd been the case. A few inches below that wound was the burn mark; about a foot in diameter, it circled my abdomen. It must have been a pretty bad burn, as most burns were relatively easy to heal with chakra.

Other then those things, I seemed averagely fine.

"Hinata?" … oh. Crap. I was pretty sure my heart just stopped. Due to the fact that had been the voice of... well, isn't it just too obvious?

I quaked slightly, but peeled open my eyes. Sure enough, a pair of blue eyes stared down at me. Naruto.

~ - x - ~

… crap. I fainted again. Being bold just wasn't my strong suit. I was more of a quiver-in-the-shadows-and-pray-no-one-sees-me kinda girl.

God, I can't even begin to count the times Kurenai would tease me about Naruto. Actually, on several different occasions, she sat me down, and lectured me on the importance of love. Oh, and how stupid male ninjas were. Apparently, Asuma took several years to even notice her. But, as I'd reasoned with her, my situation and hers were vastly different. She was bold and beautiful (she scoffed at this), and I was shy and dull (she scoffed at this too).

There isn't a chance in the world, I thought, as I rolled my head idly to the side, that Naruto-

…

…No. Freaking. Way. I blinked several times, sure my eyes were deceiving me. There was no way that said ninja was sitting, oh, a foot and a half a way, sleeping.

I stared at him, dumbstruck. It was dark in the room, but even the smallest amount of light reflected itself off his golden hair.

… oh, don't judge me. Yes, I did stare unabashedly at him. But come on! I rarely got opportunities like these. I could completely and utterly ogle at him, and he wouldn't be any the wiser. He looked so peaceful, sleeping. His hair was messy, but at the same time, perfect. His mouth hung open ever so slightly, as his face rested against a propped up hand. My eyes glided down him, and I frowned. The chair he was sitting in definitely didn't look comfortable.

Why would he do that? Why for me? Breathing started to become difficult. I reach for the plastic air-mask with my good hand, and did my best to peel it off my mouth. I managed to push it up, enough that I could gasp normal air; but breathing was still hard. My eyes flashed to the plastic mask, as my fingers numbly worked with the strap.

My mind was tangled in thoughts. Like, how close Naruto was. So very, very close. He spent the night in the hospital... for me... on that thought, my mind actually hovers for a bit. Didn't the hospital get destroyed during the blast?

My fingers located the latch for the air mask. Thank god, I think. For some reason, having it on my face was annoying. Almost constricting.

Before I could unlatch it though, a hand folded over my own. I froze. Slowly, oh so slowly, my eyes made their way to the right.

Sure enough, Naruto was watching me.

"You need to keep wearing the mask." His fingers gently intertwined with my own, pulling them away from the plastic mask. His other hand appeared, and pulled the mask back down over my mouth.

I was sure I was going to faint again. He was touching me. His hand, on my hand. My face burned. Oh god. I tried to speak, but I couldn't. I'm going to make a huge fool of myself. I just know it. Naruto smiles down at me, and does the unpredictable.

Kakashi was right when he dubbed Naruto the Number One Unpredictable Ninja.

His hand brushed my cheek lightly, while he grinned softly down at me.

I fainted (yet again).

~ - x - ~

I awoke next to the sound of arguing.

I pressed my eyes closed, trying to rekindle my thoughts. Flashes of the Naruto from the night before flashed before me, and my cheeks heated up.

"... ashamed! He practically saved the entire village!" a female's voice snapped from the edge of my bed. A harsh voice responded, immediately to my right.

"I don't care if he saves the world. I don't want him near my daughter!" … oh great. Just who I wanted to see.

Daddy.

"Hiashi, you're being unreasonable!"

"She's not even on his team. I see no reason for him to need to spend the night in her hospital room!"

"He feels responsible, Hiashi! You have heard the accounts; she ran out to save him!"

"And that was her own misjudgment. I will deal with it properly," Hiashi paused, and I partially opened one eye and glanced at him. Sure enough, he was sitting in his high-and-might position, chin raised, back straight, eyes firm. "I don't want the boy in here."

"Hiashi, it's not your choice. Your daughter-"

"My daughter lives under my roof, and under my rules," my father interrupted with a thick growl. I had to wonder if he'd yelled at Naruto too. The thought horrified me.

A weight distracted me from their conversation. Something big, sitting on me. I blinked, trying to get the sand out of the corners of my eyes (jeez, did Gaara attack me in my sleep?).

"So, you're finally awake." Oh, I knew that sarcastic voice anywhere. Honestly, I was surprised she was in the room while Tsunade and Hiashi were arguing. At her age, she shouldn't be around two adults bickering like this. Then again, she wasn't the easiest little girl to order around.

What I meant to say next was 'You're back from your mission?' What I ended up saying was, "Yar back... are misshin?" My throat was sandpaper, and as soon as I spoke, a thin cough escaped me.

Hanabi, hearing the later, let out a roar of laughter. "Oh my god, Hinata, you sound hilarious!" … what a nice sister I have. Mental note for later: get revenge. Maybe I could tell Konohamaru she still sleeps with a stuffed animal. He'd spread the word real fast. "Want some water?"

Okay, so maybe she isn't that bad. I nodded in response, not wanting to humiliate myself more by speaking. Something cool pressed into my left hand, and I quickly brought it up to my face. I doubted I'd ever felt thirstier. Water, sweet water.

The water ran down my chin, down my neck, dousing the collar of my clothes, and the bed sheets beneath me. Hanabi let out a gigantic roar of laughter, this time curling into a ball, and rolling off the bed. I heard her hit the floor with a thud, still laughing like a mad man.

I'd forgotten about the damn air mask.

"Shit..." I muttered for my ears only, placing the glass, still half full, on a nightstand to my left. Hanabi was still laughing.

I remembered my audience. Turning slowly, I tried to grin apologetically towards my father.

Failure. He glared at me, his nose wrinkled. Great. I know, dad, I know. I'm a disgrace. An utter failure, worthless. Withering inside, I watched as he stood up, and stormed towards the door.

"We will discuss this more later, Tsunade. Hanabi, come." And with that, they were gone, Hanabi still snickering as she walked out the door.

"See ya, sister!"

I wanted to cry. It was a common occurrence and I was good ignoring it. Sitting up slowly, I whipped my chin on my sleeve.

"Here." I glanced up at Tsunade, before taking the proffered towel. There was a few moments of awkward silence, as I dried my neck and collar. "Your father's wrong." My eyes darted back up to the Hokage, surprised. "What you did was brave, and courageous. You may have actually saved us all." Her words echoed in my mind. I saved everyone? How? By being taken down in one hit? By shouting out to Naruto that I, a girl he barely knew, loved him at the worst moment possible? There was no good in what I did. My father was totally right. And now, Naruto would reject me.

Tsunade left, and I slide down into my bed, filling myself up with angst.

~ - x - ~

"Bee es!" Eh? Lazily, I pulled my left hand over to my eyes, and rubbed them. Bee es?

"Take 'em!" someone barked in reply, and then something else barked for real. Kiba, Akamaru? I guessed, lifting my head and opening my eyes a centimeter. I immediately shut them, though. It was bright, probably just a little after noon. The window was open, and cool air spilled into the room. Once my eyes readjusted, I squinted through them at the three boys surrounding the table.

The panic didn't immediately onset this time. Akamaru sat closest to me, sprawled on the ground beside Kiba's chair. He, Shino, and Naruto were sitting around a circular table, each holding a hand of cards.

Ah, I thought, BS. Kiba and Shino had taught me the game a long time ago, on one of our early missions. I was absolutely dreadful at it, as I couldn't help but feel horrible, and show it, every time I lied.

I watched them lethargically for a minute, my eyes half lidded.

"Two kings," Shino announced, before sliding his cards onto the deck. There was a heavy silence, as both Kiba and Naruto stared at him with narrowed eyes.

"I've got two myself!" Kiba laughed darkly, showing his canine teeth.

Naruto fell for his trick, hard.

"BS!" The blond headed ninja said victoriously, pointing at Shino dramatically.

"... take them," was the bug user's response.

"What?" Naruto responded, shocked. "But I have a king, and Kiba has..." Flipping the cards in the deck over revealed that indeed, Shino had placed down two kings. "Liar!" my crush hissed loudly and, for a moment, I thought Naruto might pelt Kiba with playing cards. He didn't though, not even when Kiba stuck his tongue out, chuckling softly. Thankfully, Naruto only shook his head, pouting out his bottom lip.

"Fine. One queen." The game continued, but the sound of birds chirping drew my head to the window.

And I gapped. My earlier question rushed back to me; hadn't the hospital been destroyed?

Apparently, they'd rebuilt it in a rush, that is, if it had been destroyed. Some destruction,, though, sure as hell had happened. I stared out the window, out at the giant brown hole where many a store and home had been. In some of the closer areas, construction was already taking place, on new buildings. From my view point, I could see eight different buildings going up, with surprising speed.

Or maybe I'd just been knocked awhile.

But then, as a few planks of wood appeared out of the ground, creating a brand new ninth building, I had to rethink that. I watched curiously as the man who did the jutsu consulted a blue print before continuing. The guy was one of Naruto's team's leaders. Yamato, I believe.

It was all destroyed though. Just a huge field. I remembered the Akatsuki's member's technique, that destroyed the town. The thing is, it really didn't set in, when it happened. Now I was staring at it.

"How long have I been out?" I asked softly, my eyes still locked on the window. A silence hung in the air after I spoke. Either they were surprised I was awake, or they were silently laughing at my muffled voice, thanks to my air mask thing.

"Three days," Naruto replied, gently.

… Naruto.

… Hm. Panic should be setting in around now.

Oddly enough, I managed to breathe. Now, the beat of my heart was surely elevated, but I wasn't at the level where I was at the danger of fainting. Could I be really getting bolder? I ran another inspection; yes, my cheeks were warm, and I found it extremely awkward with him in the room, but I wasn't about to pass out. I wasn't all-out panic-attacking either. I was actually being bold!

The scrapping of a chair drew me back to reality. Naruto was pushing himself up, eyes locked on mine.

… okay, blood pressure going up! He's coming over here, he's staring into my eyes!

I panicked mentally, glancing around the room for anything to save me.

I never really get girls who complain about bugs. Sometimes, bugs are pretty awesome. Especially in this case, they were. Shino's bugs appeared around Naruto's shoulders, and shoved him back down.

"We're not done with our game," my teammate drawled, as he placed down a card. Naruto continued to watch me for a moment, before sighing.

"Right."

God, I couldn't face him. I really couldn't. Not now, not ever. My boldness was nothing but a fairy tale. I wondered what were the chances that I could escape during the night. Judging by my father's tone from before, I doubted Naruto would get the chance to stay the night again. Maybe under the cover of darkness, I could slip off. Maybe I could head to Suna. It's not such a bad place, once you get over the fact that you're living in a desert, where it's 103 degrees year round, and about six hours journey to water.

I thanked Shino inwardly for buying me more time.

How could I deal with Naruto? Turning my head to gaze at the window, I explored my options Maybe I could confess my love again, as sappily as I could, and take whatever criticism he dishes back. Maybe I could wait for him to say something, maybe only respond when he asks something. Use my right to remain silent.

Speaking of rights, I glanced down at my right hand. I hadn't really paid attention to the bandage before, but now that I looked...

It was orange.

What the hell?

I wasn't even aware bandages came in that color.

My eyes drifted up to Naruto subconsciously. He was watching me, but, unlike I feared, he didn't look upset. I held in the happy sigh. I'd been fearing, what if he was worrying how to easily let me down? What if...

I cleared my head of those thoughts. They weren't pleasant.

But orange, really? An orange bandage? I didn't even feel like asking, because I could guess. Out of all the ninjas in our graduating class, there had only been one bold enough to wear bright orange all the time. Naturally destroying his chances of blending into the forest during a fight. Orange might as well have been his trade mark.

Maybe I could claim that I loved him as a friend. Or a brother. That idea came to me, as I admired the bright orange bandages. Loved him... as a role model, as I had pointed out that he inspired me.

"I wanted to be with you." Unfortunately, that line would be hard to account for. To be with you... for support? I tried, before frowning. If that wasn't the stupidest thing, I didn't know what was.

"Well, Kurenai-sensei wants to us to help out with the rebuilding," Kiba suddenly announced. My blood ran cold. "So, me and Shino'll see you guys later." They started packing up the cards, as I stared at them with wide-eyed. Shino only passed me a small wave, before he followed Kiba out the door.

I could hear my fate being sealed as the door shut.

I was left alone. With him.

"Because I- love you..."

I couldn't come up with a feasible excuse for the pitiful truth.

I gulped, and met his eyes.

- x - x - x -