Chapter Forty Two: Jeremy Bentham's News

Violet was out on the deck of the boat, the hot sun beating down on the back of her neck, the cool sea breeze brushing her hair in and out of her face. She stared hard at the horizon, weighed down with the realization that a future full of lies was just beyond that line.

It had been a week since their raft was spotted by Penny's boat, and Violet hadn't spoken a word about that day, about the island, or about much of anything. She kept to herself for the most part, as the rest of them conversed day after day, constructing a story the public would believe. Violet listened, but did not contribute. It didn't matter what the lies were, they were still lies. She didn't want to talk about those they left behind, she didn't want to talk about Charles Widmore, or the danger he still posed, she didn't want to talk about any of it. No, she wanted to forget.

As Violet watched the horizon with a dull ache settling in her gut, she overheard bits and pieces of the conversation Sayid was having with Hurley. Hurley was still trying to pronounce the names of the island they were all supposed to have down, the one they were going to be sailing to within the next hour. Violet stared down at the clothes she was wearing. They had been new, given to her by Penny, but torn and rubbed in dirt to give the illusion of being marooned on an island for three months. That was the plan; they were all going to sail from Penny's boat for eight hours toward the island of Membata, where they would tell the story of Oceanic 815 crash-landing in the middle of the ocean, that a few of them made it to shore, survived there for three months until a raft was blown onto their beach, and they took it to row to Membata, where they would be rescued.

Jack told the story so well, Violet almost thought he believed it already. Well, let him believe it. Violet was still having nightmares about those they left behind.

She felt a presence beside her and she looked sideways to see Kate staring at her, that same worried look in her eyes she'd had all week. Violet had shut everyone out, and Kate knew it, but Violet didn't care. They all had to deal with this in their own way; this was Violet's way.

"Are you ready for this, Violet?" Kate asked quietly, rocking Aaron in her arms. Violet stared at her for a second, let her eyes fall on the sleeping baby. Her mind went to Claire, of how great a mum she was to that little boy, about how unfair it was that she was God only knew where while they had the baby. Yes, Kate planned to keep him, claim him as her own child to keep him safe, but it felt so wrong. Claire was the only one who should be holding that baby right now.

Violet gazed over Kate's shoulder and saw Jack and Sayid getting the raft settled in the ocean, dropping some water bottles into it, and a few rashions. Violet only sighed, averting Kate's concerned gaze.

"Let's just get this over with," she whispered as she pushed past Kate toward the edge of the boat where things were getting ready.

People began saying their goodbyes. Jack shook Desmond's hand, Sayid thanked Lapidus for everything. Violet managed a small nod for Desmond and Frank, and was about to jump into the raft when she felt a hand grab her wrist gently. Violet turned and saw it was Penny who'd caught her.

"Violet, sweetheart," Penny said quietly, still holding onto her wrist. "I know you've all been through a terrible ordeal, but don't keep it all to yourself, dear." Violet wasn't surprised; Kate wasn't the only one who'd noticed Violet's slow decline into isolation. Violet sighed, feeling tears stinging her eyes as she met Penny's gaze.

"If we're supposed to lie about everything that happened," Violet explained, "then I don't really have a choice, do I?"

"I understand you lot have got to lie, but don't forget," Penny turned and motioned toward Sayid, Hurley, Jack, Kate and Sun. "You've got these five who know the truth. You don't have to keep your feelings a secret from them."

Violet swallowed, looking down as she gently pried her hand away from Penny's. There was nothing left to say. Sure, those five knew the truth, those five knew what really happened, but Violet knew just from how they spoke this week, from the vacant expressions on their faces, all they wanted to do was forget. There was no talking to them about how she felt. They all wanted to forget; she should too.

"Alright," Jack said suddenly, motioning to lot of them. "Let's go home."

Violet let Penny hug her, let Desmond pat her shoulder, let Sayid hold her hand while she stepped into the raft, but it all felt so far away, like someone else was controlling her movements. She leaned up against the side of the raft as Frank cut the rope, and Jack and Sayid began paddling furiously with old boards they had found. Frank had said they'd make land in eight hours. Violet sighed, feeling tears stinging her eyes, refusing to look back toward the boat. Eight hours wasn't enough time to accept what was coming, it wasn't enough time to forget what she'd left behind, what she would have to lie about for the rest of her life. Eight hours wasn't enough time to grieve the loss, to figure out a way to pretend like it didn't hurt. But eight hours was all she had.

And in eight hours, the true nightmare would begin.

2007

Violet sat on the sofa, staring at the clock on the wall, waiting for the familiar sound of tires on gravol, a sure sign she was home. Violet still couldn't believe it, couldn't believe Kate would drop everything in the middle of the night and leave to meet Jack, of all people! Yes, she'd figured it out. All she'd had to do was check the last call on Kate's cell phone as soon as she took off. They'd split up so long ago now - why was she running to him in the middle of the night? And why wouldn't she tell Violet?

It was late, nearing three in the morning, when Violet finally heard the tires on gravol. She stood, wanting Kate to know she'd been up all this time, worrying, wondering.

Soon enough, Kate unlocked the front door and came inside, and as her eyes met Violet, Violet knew right away she'd been crying.

"Violet," Kate said, closing the door behind her. "Uh, what are you doing up?"

"I heard you leave," Violet replied. "And I know you went to see Jack."

"How-"

"Your phone." Violet paused, crossing her arms. "Why, Kate? Why would you just take off in the middle of the night to see Jack of all people?"

Kate looked so defeated, so worn out, but she managed to keep it together.

"He's been calling me for days. He was so stoned, I could barely make out what he was trying to say," Kate replied.

"What did he want?"

"To tell me Bentham was dead."

Bentham. Jeremy Bentham.

"He's dead?" Violet asked, her voice shaking.

"Yeah," Kate replied. "Jack's pretty shaken by it."

Violet paused, knowing she shouldn't be bringing it up. It was no secret Kate was less than impressed about the mention of Jeremy Bentham, and she knew why.

"Look Kate, I know Bentham came to see you the other day," she spat, gaining her a look of surprise from Kate.

Kate puckered her brow, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

"I know you didn't want me to know, I heard you telling him to stay away from me, but I got home from soccer early that day." Violet sighed, realizing she should have told Kate sooner. "I heard him in the kitchen, talking to you. I know why he came."

Kate waited, sensing there was more. Violet exhaled.

"He, uh, he came to see me anyway, even though you told him not to. The next day." Violet closed her eyes, still remembering what it was like to see him, rolling toward her in a wheelchair on the soccer field before practice had started. He looked just like he had on the island, exactly the same, except in a wheelchair. "He told me exactly what I heard him telling you. He saw Walt too, not too long ago. I called Walt after Bentham came to see me, and we talked about it."

"But you didn't talk to me," Kate said, her voice laced with accusation.

"You didn't tell me Bentham came to see you either, Kate!" Violet shouted. "If you can keep secrets, so can I!"

Kate sighed, trying to gather some patience back, pressing her fingers to her temples.

"What exactly did Bentham tell you, Violet?"

"Like I said, he told me what he told you, what he told everyone," Violet said. "He said we're supposed to go back."

"Violet, we're-"

"We're what, Kate? We're not supposed to go back? That's what you told Bentham, isn't it?" Violet yelled. "Well, what if he was right, Kate? What if Locke was right?"

"Don't say his name!"

"What if we are supposed to go back?" Violet asked, tears stinging her eyes as she fought to keep herself together. "Damn it, Kate, nothing's been right since we left the island. Don't deny it, it's all wrong! Jack's all messed up, Sun's depressed, Hurley's in a mental institution, you're stuck in LA for the next ten years, and I want to be dead, and that's all I've wanted since we left that place! And the only reason I haven't done anything is because I promised Juliet I wouldn't!" Violet shouted, tears streaming down her face without ceasing.

Kate was silent, her own tears falling now as she watched Violet falling apart at the seams, trying to fathom what she could possibly say to make it all right. Violet breathed out slowly.

"It doesn't matter now, anyway, because we did leave the island," she said quietly. "But maybe Bentham was right. Maybe we weren't supposed to leave. Maybe we are supposed to go back. He said it was the only way to help them."

Kate finally stepped forward, brushed away a tear and stared Violet straight in the eye. No, the girl wouldn't want to hear it, but Kate had to put an end to this. It was bad enough hearing Jack in his stoned state how it was all of their destiny's to go back to the island, but she couldn't have Violet wishing for things that would never happen.

"Violet," Kate said quietly. "We can't help them anymore. They may not be dead, but...but they're gone. We have to move on."

Violet stared at Kate, stared hard. She wasn't even going to consider it, she wasn't even going to acknowledge that Locke might be right, she wasn't going to acknowledge the danger the people they left behind might be in. She was just content to move on and pretend like it didn't happen.

Well, maybe Kate was, but Violet was far from ready to accept that.

Biting her lip, she pushed past Kate and made for the front door, ignoring the sound of Kate yelling after her. Violet ran as fast as her feet would carry her into the dead of the night, knowing Kate wouldn't be chasing after her; she'd never leave Aaron in the house alone. Still, Violet ran, anger fuelling her as she thought of what Bentham had said, about them having to go back. That was all Violet wanted, it was all she'd ever wanted since they arrived three years ago. Nothing had been the same, nothing had been right. Nothing was like what it was on that island. Nothing would ever be the same.

She slowed to a steady pace, heading down a side street, clutching herself for warmth, feeling the tears dying down as she continued on. She didn't know where she was going, only that she needed to be away from Kate, at least for now. She'd hear an earful when she returned, but that didn't matter; right now, she needed to be alone.

Violet shivered as she noticed approaching headlights. Nobody else was on the road, being so late, and Violet had to shield her eyes as the headlights approached. She barely had time to realize the vehicle was slowing before the side door of the large cube van flew open, and three guys dressed from head to toe in black jumped her, shoved a hand over her mouth to silence her screams, pulled at her arms and legs, yanking her into the vehicle. She felt herself being pinned to the floor of the van as the thugs jumped in and slammed the door shut behind them. As the van began to move, and Violet continued to scream through the black gloved hand on her mouth, she felt a slight pinprick in her arm, and turned in just enough time to see someone withdraw a needle from her skin, and a voice somewhere in the distance that softly muffled,

"We got her,"

before everything went dark.

The End...to be continued.

A/N: That's the end of the fourth part of Violet's journey. Thanks all so much for your reviews, and I know I'm evil with this cliffhanger, but there will be a fifth installment of Violet to come in the next little while, you will just have to be patient. Keep an eye out though, it's coming :)