Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed.
A/n: This is another request story. Chuffy-barmed-oc requested a story about Phoebe's willingness to forgive Billie and Piper's continued distrust of her. That's how this started, and then it morphed into a longer piece about Piper and Billie's relationship post-Charmed. I really hope that everyone enjoys this. As always, I love to add requests onto my list, so feel free to suggest something.
Also, this story references my other stories, "Thinking of the Sea" and chapter seventeen of "What's in a Name." It is not at all necessary to read those stories to understand this, but it might give you some background. Thanks for reading. I'd love to hear what you think.
-Katie
Forget-me-nots and Other Sad Flowers
a story by Ryeloza
In the grand scheme of things she supposed one could look at their story this way: two women; two families; one good; one bad; only one can survive. Was it any surprise that good won out over evil in the end?
"I didn't really count on needing a guest room; I turned the extra bedroom into a study. Sorry. But the couch in there does pull out into a bed. No one's tried it yet, but the guy at the store said it was comfortable. You'll have to let me know."
"I'm sure it will be fine."
Phoebe threw Billie a soft smile over her shoulder as she continued to make up the sofa-bed with more blankets and pillows than Billie could ever use. Her two suitcases sat next to the door, but she still wore her backpack and, as though she were a little girl at her first sleepover, she held her stuffed monkey, Gerry, in her arms. The room would be cramped, but Billie was too grateful to mind.
"There!" Phoebe patted the last pink pillow she'd place on the bed and then stood back to survey her work. "Too much?"
"No," Billie lied. "It's perfect. Phoebe, thank you so much for putting me up here."
"It's no problem."
Billie sank down on the bed and petted Gerry's head. "Well I know your sisters aren't very happy about it. Piper—"
"Piper will get over it. Eventually."
"I'm not so sure." Billie gave a little sigh. She couldn't exactly blame Piper for feeling the way she did and she strenuously wished she could take back everything that had occurred.
Only three days had passed since she'd killed Christy and Billie still couldn't quite process what that meant. After, she had wandered around the city for hours, slowly coming to the realization that she was utterly alone in the world. She had no more family; she'd spent so little time at school this semester that she was failing; none of her friends truly knew what had happened in the past five months. And the feeling, so terrifying, had made her sick. She spent two nights at her parents' house—she was still in the process of cleaning it out—before finally working up the nerve to go see one of the only three people she thought she had left in the world.
She had cried and Phoebe had offered a comforting shoulder that Billie so desperately needed. Then she'd gone over to Piper's to ask if Billie could stay there until the got on her feet. When Phoebe had returned she'd had a forced grin on her face and announced that she had a perfectly good sofa-bed in the study.
Phoebe sat down on said bed next to Billie then and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Piper is stubborn as a mule, but she'll get there. You made some bad choices. Everyone does. God knows I have made more than my fair share."
Billie nodded, but she couldn't quite believe that anyone had done anything as bad as she had.
"The most important thing," Phoebe continued, "is that you forgive yourself. If you can't do that, Billie, then nothing else matters."
"Right," said Billie. Somehow she knew, though, that when it came to forgiveness, the chances were that even Piper might beat her to the punch.
She didn't go to see Piper until a week prior to Phoebe's wedding.
Everything was calculated. She counted the minutes it took her bus to come. She clocked the miles she rode while sitting in an uncomfortable seat. Each step from the bus stop to the front door of the manor was counted. Four knocks and then a step back, hands clasped behind her back, attempting to be casual. She was attempting perfection deliberately.
Piper opened the door and instantly her face soured and her arms crossed defensively over her chest. Billie spoke this language fluently: you are not welcome.
"Billie."
"Piper, I came to talk to you. I know you're still mad, but it's about Phoebe." Billie took a deep breath. "She invited me to the wedding and I'd really like to go. But I don't want to ruin everything by causing all this tension. So I just thought I'd come over and ask if it's okay with you. Possibly?"
"You can do what you want."
"I don't want things to be awkward."
Piper sighed. "Look, I love Phoebe and I know that she feels bad for you. Frankly, Billie, I feel bad for you too. I know you've lost a lot. But you also put my children's lives in danger and that's not something I can just forget."
"I know. Piper, I'm so sorry. You'll never know how sorry."
"I don't want you around my kids."
The words, though Billie had known them before she'd even heard them, still stung.
"I understand," she said.
"If Phoebe wants you at the wedding you should come. Just stay away from Wyatt and Chris."
Billie nodded and Piper backed up, apparently finished with the conversation and ready to retreat. Back to your corners, Billie thought sardonically. She turned to go, then paused and said, "I really am sorry."
"I know. But that doesn't change things."
"I know."
She didn't go to the wedding.
Christy had been rather unconcerned by their parents' deaths, and Billie supposed that it should have been a sign. The Charmed Ones had helped her plan a brief memorial service and then she'd arranged to have her parents buried in the same graveyard as her grandparents. There was no body when Christy died, so two months later when Billie finally went to order the gravestones, she had Christy's name inscribed too.
It was fitting of course. Her parents' whole lives had been about Christy. Where she might have gone; what had happened to her; was she happy, healthy, alive? They never did anything, went anywhere without considering the idea that Christy could come back. They never gave up hope. They never forgot. Billie's entire life had been about a girl she had hardly known.
The day the marker was placed at her parents' graves, Billie took an assorted bouquet to the graveyard. As she looked down on her family's final resting place, she couldn't help but hate them all. They were gone and they had left her alone; really, they had left her alone her entire life.
Billie wasn't sure she'd ever forgive them.
Babysitting Melinda along with Nora had been Phoebe's idea, not Billie's. When she arrived and saw both little girls there, Billie's heart had nearly stopped. Anxious words: "I can't do this! Piper will kill me! This isn't a good idea!" fell on deaf ears and Phoebe left her alone with the children.
Still, when Piper returned to find Billie watching her daughter, Billie couldn't help but feel that every word she screamed to Phoebe was just another Billie deserved herself.
She never did finish school. After everything that happened, she found a job at one of the local shops and devoted herself to sales and customer service. She did not do magic anymore. Perhaps it was penance.
Then after one frantic phone call from Phoebe, everything changed again. The kids—the children of the Charmed Ones—had gone missing and Phoebe sought Billie's help. It was hard to work without their full trust, but when they brought the children home Billie saw a hint of gratitude in Piper's eyes that she'd never seen before.
And then suddenly, Billie had a new purpose. Christy had not been the only victim; Christy had not even been the tip of the iceberg. With a renewed vigor, Billie knew that in her lifetime she would bring down the demonic plot which had destroyed her life as she knew it.
This would take years.
She wore all black and brought lilies to Meda's funeral.
The winter day was beautiful; crisp and clear and perfect. Billie felt ill the entire time. Nearly ten years before she had buried her parents, destroyed her sister and made the most costly mistakes of her life. As if further proof of how imperfect the world could be, she was now at the funeral of the daughter of one of her only friends.
In a way it was coming full circle. Back with all three Halliwells again for the first time since that day that her life had changed forever.
She sat further back and observed their grief unobtrusively, even as she wept her own bitter tears. She had planned to slip in and out unobserved, but Phoebe's oldest, Nora, spotted her in the crowd and pulled her into the fray. For a moment, she held her breath, waiting to be shunned. Then Phoebe hugged her and the tension melted away.
Later, at the wake, Piper came up beside her while they were getting food. "Thank you," she said quietly, and Billie dropped her plate of food in shock.
"What?" she asked, frightened into bluntness.
"Thank you for being there for Phoebe when she needed you. You're a good friend."
And then Piper was gone, leaving Billie to wonder if she'd imagined it all.
The phone rang as insistently as it always did, and Billie ran from the shower, clutching a towel to her, to answer it. "Hello?" she said breathlessly.
"Billie?"
Billie nearly dropped the phone at the sound of Piper's voice. "Piper?"
"Billie, I know that this is last minute and I hate to ask, but do you think you could come over for a couple hours this afternoon and keep an eye on Melinda for me? I have to take the boys to the dentist."
"Sure," said Billie, fighting a grin. "What time do you want me?"
In the grand scheme of things, she supposed one could look at their story this way: two women loved their families more than anything in the world and they fought tooth and nail to protect them. Was there really any difference between them?