Omfg you gaiiiiiise, I don't even know why I'm doing this. Honestly.

Anyway, there's a little surprise for you down the way. Hope you enjoy it.

I kinda wanted to have it star the BLUs because the last story I had was about REDs. So now that you know how the REDs act, you can learn about the nuances of the BLUs.

I don't honestly know if this is going to go well, so please, read it critically and tell me your honest feelings on this subject. Thank you, and now:

READ ON!

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BLU's Scout had learned a lot about killing as he lived on the war front. It was really simple. You aim a gun and fire. Repeatedly. Aiming for a vital area was good too but with enough bullets anywhere the person's going to go down. Killing things and not getting damaged was the art form that he was still learning. On days in which he was injured, he would watch with utter fascination as his party members slaughtered their foes. BLU's Spy's butterfly knife flew gracefully and with expert precision, BLU's Pyro had mastered the art of "fight and flight", and BLU's Sniper was still teaching him the basics of using one's cover for protection. He was so excited about putting his new lessons to practice that the moment BLU's Medic removed his leg cast and kicked him from the infirmary with a "And don't come back!", Scout tore down to the front lines just in time to see the last RED explode in an array of blood and guts. BLU's Demoman taunted and jeered at the pieces of his last enemy, and then turned to Scout with a question in his eyes, "What are ya doin' 'ere, Lad?"

"I'm ready! Where's the fighting? Come on come on we need to go fight!" Scout shouted, bounding around and shouting over for their Engineer, "Hey! We need a dispenser here! Chop chop!"

"You maggot!" BLU's Soldier shouted, pointing up at the base, "We just slaughtered them!"

As if on cue, BLU's Spy trotted out, attaché case in tow, "Come on, let's get out of here, I'm famished."

"Okay! I can't wait for Sandvich!" BLU's Heavy proclaimed, running back towards the base as Scout looked up at their base. Even BLU's Sniper was relaxed, fanning himself with his akubra as he walked into the base for dinner.

Scout's jaw dropped as everyone wandered off to the base. "But… but I wanted to help…! I-I-I-I-I!"

"Maybe next time, Kid," Soldier mumbled as he shoved on the young man's back to get him moving, "Come on, you need some food to keep your strength up."

"No fair…" Scout muttered with a near-pout as he shuffled back to base with arms crossed, "It's just not fair…"

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The next morning was colder than yesterday, and Demoman yawned widely as he wandered out onto Sniper's deck and offered him his decaf. Sniper mumbled a thanks of some sort and stared across at the other fort. "They've gotten replacements."

"Already?" Demoman asked. There was silence, and he whistled. "Gotta hand it ta 'em, aye?"

"Mmm," Sniper agreed through his coffee, "Different, though."

"Different? 'Ow so?" Sniper tossed Demoman the binoculars and the Scotsman peered through them. Sniper took a rather long gulp of his coffee and he flinched as Demoman dropped the binoculars.

"Oi, Mate! Those don't come cheaply!" Sniper rebuked his teammate in a rare case of emotion. However, Demoman was already rushing off, shouting for the others. Eventually, a few more joined Sniper on his deck (which made him frown at how they were invading space that was practically his).

"Look! What did I yell ya!?" Demoman cried, pointing across the way, "It's TRUE."

"Mein Gott…" Medic murmured, lowering Sniper's binoculars after a rather long look, "It can't be."

"Let me see! Let me see!" Scout shouted, "I want to see!"

"What's everyone so worked up about?" Sniper asked with a shrug.

"Do you SEE what's over there?" BLU's Engineer retorted as Scout snatched the binoculars from Medic and looked through them, "The entire RED team is…!"

"…They're WOMEN!" Scout screamed, throwing the binoculars up in horror. Sniper tossed his mug aside and barely caught his mother's gift in time.

"Vomen on zee BATTLEFIELD?" Medic gasped. The men watched as nine various women scurried about the RED base like little mice. They were putting up various pretty ornaments all over their base and setting up tea tables for crumpets at noon, "Zis… Zis cannot be happenink…"

"And mighty nice little sheilas, if I ever saw some," Sniper murmured as he rubbed his binoculars off and checked to see if they hadn't been chipped or broken.

"Oh man oh man oh man this has got to be a joke!" Scout fidgeted nervously. He thought for a moment and slammed his fist in his palm. "I know! It's like… they MUST be spies!"

"You zay zey are zpiez."

"Yeah! Zpiez!" Scout coughed. "I mean spies! They must be spies, disguised as women!"

"Why would the Demolitions Experts hire nine Spies and have 'em dress up as women?" Engineer asked with arms crossed in contemplation, "It seems a little TOO superfluous a plan just to throw us off."

"But they cannae be actual WOMEN," Demoman stated matter-of-factly, "Women cannae fight a man's fight!"

"You think?" Scout asked, staring at the women across the way. One of them (who looked like a voluptuous RED Soldier) spotted the men and she waved at them with a sparkling smile. Scout cringed in fear. "They… it's like they're going to tear into our souls and eat them one by one…"

"What is commotion!?" The BLUs looked up to see that the others, Heavy and Spy, had joined them. "Medic, where is leftover Sandvich?" the Russian asked.

"Oh, that was yours?" Scout asked. He laughed aloud, "I had it for breakfast today! Sorry, dude!"

BLU's Spy pursed his lips as BLU's Heavy turned red. "Just what is going on?" the European asked, "There 'as been way too much shouting and my head is already- what is that?" The European shoved Medic out of the way (and the German professed his anger) and stared across the way, "My my my…" Spy murmured, his breathing increasing as he spoke so smoke spewed from his mouth when he plotted this new turn of events, "I'll need new masks, Mmmm, new masks…" Scout blinked at Spy, wondering if he was happy about sneaking into an entirely female compound or happy that he could get away with wearing a woman's clothes.

As the men argued, Sniper stood to find himself some food. He grumbled lightly when the others noticed he was leaving and moved to follow him, "So what are we gunna do with 'em?" Engineer asked as they met in the locker room.

Demoman moved to speak but Soldier did first, "We kill them, what else?"

"Kill them!?" Scout shouted, "Bubububutbut Mom told me never to hit a woman!"

"Where's your mom NOW, Nancy!?" Soldier roared, thrusting his finger onto the young man's chest, "Is she here to tell us not to tell YOU to hit a woman? Get your act in gear, Maggot; this is a WAR, and if I tell you to kill something, you KILL IT."

"We don't need to bludgeon the sheilas, do we?" Sniper spoke up. All eyes were on him, "At least, not all of them. They seem pretty friendly. We should use it to our advantage."

"What I wouldn't give fer a lassie at night. They make such nice comforters…" Demoman muttered under his breath. The men stared at him, wearing various faces that ranged from amiable to wondering just what he was talking about.

"Mmph?" BLU's Pyro asked, raising his/her finger, "Mmph, phphmmphmmph."

"Pyro's right," Engineer agreed, his arms crossed, "We haven't fraternized with the enemy before," he glared at anyone as if daring them to fidget nervously about his words, "and we shouldn't be doing it now."

"But I'm cold at night!" Heavy roared, "Let's just knock girls out and drag them back to base!"

"Heavy, pleaze, Vee are not barbarians!" Medic cried, aghast, "Vee do not take vomen by force!"

There was a longer than necessary silence, and Spy's lips curled into a dangerous smile, "Or DO we…?" Medic rubbed his temples as many of the men roared their approval and shook the European's hands.

Scout tried to speak up. "Well, I say that we should just…"

"I say…!" Soldier proclaimed, interrupting anyone from speaking, "…that anyone who DOESN'T want to fraternize with these beautifully built ladies has no interest in women at all!"

Sniper leaned against the wall with a disdainful frown. "Weren't you the one who wanted to kill 'em before…?"

Engineer frowned at the talk as Medic coughed into his hand with an incredulous look on his face, and the Texan spoke up, "Besides, just because I don't wanna sow my seed into any ol' field don't mean I don't wanna do it someday. Ya just gotta find the right…"

"They're THERE. They've BREASTS. What's STOPPIN' you?" Demoman shouted.

"DAMN straight!" Soldier said, ignoring logic from getting in the way of making nice with some ladies for the first time in three years, "BLU Team, let's move out!"

"Zis cannot be happenink…" Medic groaned as he shuffled after the other men. Scout inched along by his side, for once not the one leading the charge.

"You think one of them'll like me?" he asked shyly. Medic sighed. With the way things were, he was beginning to wonder if RED really WAS using these women to their advantage.

Something didn't seem right, and Medic was going to find out what it was.

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ALRIGHT. REAM IT.

Tell me what sucks. Tell me whether or not it's even good enough to continue.

What do you think about it?