AN: So wow. Finally updating this. I think it's been just under four years. In that time I've taken professional writing courses, dropped my lifelong dream of being a vet, met the President, broke my leg in 6 places while playing quidditch, gotten a tattoo, lived in England for 6 months, travelled around Europe by myself for a month, suffered through and overcome 2 severe cases of depression, met most of my favourite actors, authors, and musicians, done research with Nobel Prize winners, and as of today started my final semester of college. I've never meant to postpone updating for so long, but at the same time this little story has never been dead. I know exactly how it's going to go, but alas - as evidenced from above - life happened. I hope that all of you have had as much as a crazy whirlwind of years as I have and thank you for still reading. Without any further wait, on with the story.

Ed stood at the podium as silence reigned throughout the room. Annoyance twinged throughout his body and he had to consciously stop himself from gazing back at the large stack of books that were stacked invitingly back at his desk. A deal is a deal, equivalent exchange, he thought darkly. He had absolutely no desire to teach alchemy to such young and frankly irresponsible children, but he had no choice if he wanted to have continued access to the massive library. But that doesn't mean that I am going to make it easy on them. He supressed a smirk that would have made his teacher proud of him.

"Take out you wands." He ordered. There was a moment of silence before a general shuffling as the entire class began moving, smiles slowly growing across their faces.

Ed waited until the class had settled back into silence before speaking once more. He grabbed a box that had been sitting innocently on his desk. "Now put your wands in here."

An instant uproar filled the class.

"What?!"

"Are you insane?!"

"I'm not giving up my wand!"

"Silence!" He bellowed, and instantly everyone obeyed. "Alchemy is a serious science and I will not have any flagrant or irresponsible wand waving in my class. Now either turn in your wand or leave my class. NOW!"

Silence seemed to echo throughout the room. Finally, a small Ravenclaw stood up and the sound of her wand dropping into the wooden box echoed throughout the classroom. Slowly, one-by-one, the other students filed their way up to the front. It greatly amused Ed that he was subject to multiple dirty glares as more than one student reluctantly dropped their wand into the box.

After the last person had sat down Ed leaned back against his desk. "That wasn't too bad, now, was it?" He smirked at the answering glares.

"Right. As I was saying earlier, alchemy is a serious science. This means that you will be required to think and work harder than you ever have at this school ever before. It will be long, it will be frustrating, and you will see little to no progress. If you ever wish to leave this class at any point during the year, I completely understand and you will be allowed to drop the class with no penalty."

"However, if you can apply yourself, alchemy not only will improve your understanding of the world around you, but it may even save your life."

Ed let his words echo throughout the room, letting his message sink in.

"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That's alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange

It is this law that makes alchemy a completely separate branch from magic. This law is also the law that governs the entirety of alchemy. If you do not learn it, it could very well lead to your death. Terrible accidents happen to alchemists who forget this law. The universe demands balance, and if it is not supplied in the reaction, the universe tends to take it from you."

"You! Repeat to me the first law of alchemy!" Ed said, pointing at Ron who visibly shrunk into his seat.

"…I, I'm not,"

"Dead." Ed turned and pointed at Draco who had started snickering. "You! Repeat it for me!"

Draco sunk in his seat, glaring at Ed.

"You! Repeat it!" Ed yelled pointing at Hermione.

"N…nothing can be gained without first being lost?" Hermione said, her voice shaking.

Ed looked at her. "Barely decent." He said, the corner of his mouth inching up into the ghost of a smile.

"What exactly is alchemy?" Ed said as he grabbed a piece of chalk and began drawing a basic transmutation circle onto the chalkboard. "Alchemy is the science of the process of transforming matter of one form into another. It does not change the base forms of the matter, however it simply rearranges it through the use of symbols that help direct the change and a person acting as both a conduit and initial spark for that change. This group of symbols is most often represented in the transmutation circle." He gestured to the drawing on the board. "The more complicated the transmutation circle, the more complex the reaction will be. Before you can even think about starting a reaction however, you need to know what the base forms of matter that are going into the reaction. Muggles call these base forms elements. They are made of three different parts – neutrons, electrons and protons. Each different element is made of a different number of these parts and it's this different combination of these parts that gives each element its different properties."

Ed pulled out a sheet of paper. "This is a table of elements. It lists every element and the parts that comprise it. All of you should have a copy of one. I expect each of you to memorise every element and its properties. Only once you do this will I consider letting you move on to working with alchemical reactions."

"When do expect us to have this done by?" A Slytherin sitting near the front of the room asked.

"For most of you? Never. I will only teach the practical application of alchemy to people who at least have the minimal dedication to learn all of the necessary basics. If you think you have memorised everything, come to me and I will… test you, to determine your proficiency. Only once you pass to my satisfaction will I give you the material necessary to continue. I expect most of this work to be done independently. You will be expected to find the information on your own, however I will be available during classes for consultation. I will assign homework once a week. Again you will have to find the necessary information on your own, and I will grade it very thoroughly. Your final at the end of the year will consist of all of the basics of alchemy that I feel you should know. I will make this very clear right now, I don't care what you do during our class periods, but if you wish to pass this class, then I highly suggest that you use this time wisely."

"Excuse me sir, but what about the self-defence part of this class?" Harry asked.

Ed grinned. "Now that would be telling. Just know that when the time comes, be prepared to be dressed and ready to meet up by the lake when I tell you so. Now go… read, or whatever it is you do to study."

And with that, Ed went back to his desk and pulled out a pair of glasses and one of the books off of the nearest pile to him and began reading.

Whispers broke out across the classroom like a ripple.

"He's joking right?"

"He can't be serious."

"He's not going to teach us anything?"

"What a joke."

"If you are not going to take this time to study, then I suggest you either leave or kindly shut up so others can." Ed said, keeping his voice steady and not bothering to look up from the book that he was pouring through. The murmurs seemed to die down, though most people tended to simply look around at the rest of the class in confusion about what to actually do.

"Oh honestly." Hermione grumbled under her breath as she reached down under her desk to grab out her Table of Elements along with some spare sheets of paper and an introductory muggle chemistry book that she had bought "just in case". Harry and Ron looked at each other and seemed to come to the same consensus and they too both pulled out their tables and some paper. Slowly the tables around them began pulling out their supplies, as though they had no idea what else to do.

The hour seemed to stretch by in relative silence as most people either sat staring at the Table of Elements or else stared off into space with a few others trying futilely to keep from nodding off in the thick afternoon haze. The only sound that broke the silence was the ticking of a clock that had been haphazardly and lopsidedly attached to the wall and the occasional frantic scratching of quills as Ed, Hermione, or one of the Hufflepuffs actually attempted to take notes.

"I believe that's the end of class." Ed said, glancing up from his book to the clock on the wall. "Don't forget to pick up your wands from the box on your way out."

There seemed to be a collective sigh of relief and the entirety of the room to rushed forward in a race to grab their wands. Watching the disgruntled faces practically run from the room, Ed smiled.

Perfect.