Title: Demotion
Characters: Zuko and an unnamed servant.
Rating: PG
Word count: 686
Disclaimer: The usual - I don't own Avatar and make no money with this.
Comment: Written for the "avatar_contest" community on LiveJournal. The theme was "crack fic", so there's gonna be some silliness.

"Sir?"

"Mrgh." Fire Lord Zuko curled up under his blanket, hoping for the voice to leave him alone.

"Sir, please..." the female voice tried again.

"Mh." He pulled the blanket over his head, giving the voice the universal "No, thanks, I'd rather sleep in" signal.

Unfortunately, the message didn't seem to get through. "I must insist, sir... the coronation ceremony starts in less than three hours."

"Mh?" Something about that sentence caught his attention. "Cowowha?" he finally asked, realizing only then how fuzzy his mouth felt.

"The... uh... coronation." A nervous cough.

Groaning quietly, Zuko sat up. Then he tried to make the world stop spinning. "...coronation?" he finally asked again, focusing hard on getting the word out properly.

"Yes, sir."

"But..." Zuko rubbed his forehead, trying to ease his headache. "But I'm already..." He waved his hand. "...coronationed?"

The servant by his side bit her lower lip and coughed again. "Yes, sir, your coronation had been two years ago."

"So this... is an... anniversary?" Something was wrong, that much he knew. But the details were completely beyond him. It doesn't help that I can't remember what I did last night, he thought and frowned.

"Um... not exactly, sir. This..." She took a deep breath. "This is the coronation of the new Fire Lord."

He froze. "The... new Fire Lord?" Maybe I died last night... Yeah, that must be it. I died and then appointed a new-... no, wait.

"Yes, sir." He only now realized that she hadn't once called him "Fire Lord Zuko" during the entire conversation. "You appointed your successor last night after the... uh... political... er..."

"What happened?"

"You... um... you had a... how should I put it..."

He groaned. "Just tell me."

She sighed deeply and inched a bit away, just out of his immediate reach. "You had a big reunion party with your friends, there was lots of alcohol, you got drunk..." She gestured vaguely and finally shrugged.

"...and?" he hissed impatiently, his anger distracting him from his headache. "Do you mean that I got drunk and just decided that someone else should rule my entire country?"

"Well... not really..." She grimaced and inched away some more, this time to get out of his pouncing reach. "However..." She paused yet again and closed her eyes, apparently saying her final prayers. "You got drunk and started gambling and lost and lost and lost some more and then you sort of threw the crown into the pot and then you lost once more-"

"WHAT?" he snapped, only to groan and clutch his head. I never had such a bad headache before... how much did I drink last night? And more importantly, who did I lose to? "I lost my kingdom in some sort of gamble?"

"...yes, sir."

"And now somebody else is going to be Fire Lord?"

"Yes, sir."

"And... what about me? I'm not even thirty! It's a bit early to retire!"

"Um." The servant avoided his eyes.

He gave her a long look. "...there is more, isn't there?"

"Well... yes." She eyed the door, calculating her chances of reaching it before him. "You... kept on gambling after that."

Oh Hell. "I lost my kingdom and kept going?"

"And you kept losing, yes." She fidgeted. "Your new clothes are on the chair over there."

He turned around and frowned. "Where? Are they under those silk scarves?" He turned back to face his servant, only to find her halfway between him and the door.

She froze and giggled nervously. "Not... quite... These scarves are your clothes." When he merely gave her a glare, she gulped. "You are now the Fire Lord's first harem slave."

Zuko's eyes widened. "Harem... slave...? Who was depraved enough to even suggest that I'd become-" He froze as everything suddenly fell into place. "Oh, Hell." There was only one person in the world who could stay sober enough to rip him off after a drinking binge. And said person also happened to be surprisingly kinky and creative. Yeah, I'm screwed.

Sighing loudly, harem slave Zuko lay down again. "Tell Fire Lord Toph that I'll be there in an hour."