Standard disclaimer in effect.
Note: OOC in the story because I suck at keeping the characters in, well, character. I will do my best to keep their personalities intact though.
Note: Some story elements have changed for this story.
"Quotes"
'Thoughts'
-SFX-
Ranma no Gotoku!
Chapter1
"AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU'RE READY TO APOLOGIZE!"
-SLAM!-
Ranma stared at the closed gate of the Tendo home before picking up his only companion, the backpack which carried all his possessions in the last ten years. Slinging it over one shoulder he looked up at the orange sky and ruffled his hair in frustration, "Argh why is it always my fault? Damn you two stupid old men!"
You probably wondered what happened. Well, let me tell you all about it.
It was just a usual day for Ranma; it all began during lunch at school earlier. The pigtailed boy was on the roof with his two other so-called friends. He was about to enjoy the wonderful bento that Kasumi had prepared when disaster struck.
Akane had apparently prepared another of her infamous dishes and wanted Ranma to try. Naturally of course due to her confidence on her so-called "culinary skills", she did not bother tasting it beforehand. Ranma, as usual, bluntly told Akane that he would not eat anything she cooked until pigs could stomache it.
Akane's ill-controlled temper skyrocketed immediately and to make matters worse, Ranma's two other fiancées and "stalker" came in with their own lunches for their object of affections. Things got out of control when the four girls began trying to brain one another with fists, bonboris, ribbons, and giant spatulas. Luckily for Ranma he took advantage of the resulting Battle Royale and quietly snuck away from the resulting battlefield.
Again as usual, Ranma's rare-encountered luck did not hold for long. During the afternoon classes he had to endure Akane's glare of hell while fighting a losing battle against sleep. After class just as he was about leave the school grounds, his rivals came out of nowhere and attempted another round of beat-Ranma-up-so-you-can-date-his-girls of that sort of thing, only to get launched into LEO by Akane for "picking on poor Ryoga".
After making his way back to the Tendo residence, the two poor excuses for martial artists ganged up on him and demanded that he apologize to Akane and eat whatever she had cooked up. They also added that they would call for a priest to get this whole engagement thing over with. Unsurprisingly Ranma resisted in response, and like any responsible adults, the Dynamic Duo kicked him out of the house... in the middle of winter.
Which brings us back to this current predicament.
"Ahhh maybe I'll ask Daisuke or Hiroshi and see if I can crash over at their place for a couple of days," muttered Ranma as he looked at the sinking sun. It would be evening soon and the tempereature would drop, so it was important that he find a shelter quickly. Turning around, he took a few steps down the road before bumping into something.
That "something" turned out to be a huge group of men in black. Looking up at their faces Ranma immediately recognized those belonging to these "unsavoury" types. Three of them, whom Ranma guessed as leaders of the mob, walked up to him.
The man in centre asked, "Ranma Saotome, I presume?"
"Who wants to know?" Ranma replied suspiciously. Seriously these guys are giving him creeps for some reason.
Reaching into his expensive-looking suit, the man pulled out a document and unrolled it. Ranma snatched it and began reading it.
"Huh? A loan agreement? Lessee, ones, tens, hundreds... ONE HUNDRED FIFTY MILLION YEN!?" (1) Flipping over, he saw a diagram of human body with various major organs shown. The title on top of the page read: Organ Price List
Ranma was awestruck, flipping back to the first page he quickly scanned it over again and noticed a minute detail which sent him hopping mad.
The borrower's name is...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Genma Saotome.
That's right folks, Genma Saotome just sold his son... again.
'Damn you pops! Why do you pull a stunt like this!? It's one thing to sell me for a bowl of rice, pickles, and fish, but now you're selling me to the loan sharks?!' Ranma was so mad that his aura had manifested. He unconsciously burned the piece of paper into bunch of carbons with his aura.
"Don't think you can get away by destroying the contract, boy," warned the man as he pulled out another copy of the agreement from his suit.
Letting out a puff of sigh, Ranma calmed his nerves down and began planning his strategy, 'No use fighting them head-on. This isn't like Kuno and the Hentai Horde. I'll have to use that technique...'
"And don't even think about pulling that technique. We know how your pathetic old man deals. Just quietly come with us," the second man, who has a scar on the left side of his face, added menacingly.
Ranma finally chose to give up and was about to step towards the criminals when suddenly a section of the wall to the right of the nasty men blew up, and the resulting explosion knocked the Japanese Mafia into unconsciousness.
"WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW?!"
Ranma immediately shook his head and facepalmed. "Great, saved by P-Chan," he muttered with a slight smile on his face.
Akane's P-Chan provided a great distraction for the aqua-transsexual martial artist to escape from his captors. With one swift swing Ranma grabbed his backpack and performed the Saotome School Fast Break in order to get out of the scene.
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Two hours later...
"Ok I managed to lose them... for now," Ranma took a few deep breaths to restore some oxygen and walked into Loser Park.
Finding a vacant bench to sit on, he plopped his tired body down and began thinking out loud, "So let's get this straight. First of all I've been kicked out of the Dojo just because I refused to consume another of Akane's chemistry experiment. Second, I have a debt of 150 million yen just because stupid panda sold me so he can have sake and whatever else he wants to eat. And finally, I'm tired, cold, and hungry!"
Shut up and be a man!
Ranma furiously raised his head to the night sky, "Why don't you shut up! Why the hell do I have to go through shit like this! I never asked for it!"
He then noticed tiny snowflakes gliding down in the darkening sky and remembered that it was Christmas Eve today. His eyes seemed to lose their usual lustre as he gazed down at the ground in front him, 'I bet everyone's having fun at the Dojo right now...'
Actually there is a second Battle Royale between the suitors. Dumb and Dumber are trying to outsmart each other... wait a minute, can they even do it? Nabiki is calculating New Year's budget and coming up new ways of making even more money. And Kasumi... well... she is just sipping her tea and ignores everything else in the surroundings.
"On second thought, I guess it's not that bad. At least I don't have any more troubles creeping out like cockroaches," Ranma thought out loud as he stood up, "All right I can't waste anymore time here. I need to think of something or else this story will have no plot!"
Is that so, then here you go.
"Oh yes I'm so evil. Couldn't have thought a better plan myself! Heheheh..."
Ranma abruptly turned towards the direction of the voice. He squinted his eyes as he gazed at the trees before spotting something blue. Employing all of the stealth skills he had learned from his loser of an old man, Ranma stalked down to the shrub closest to the suspicious object like a spider.
That suspicious object was apparently a girl. A stupid, yet evil-looking expression adorned the blue-haired girl's seemingly fragile face. She was currently leaning out of a tree and looking at someone by the vending machine. She was wearing a typical boy's clothes: a simple sweatshirt and a plain pair of jeans with a green, cheap jacket on the outside. A small bump was visible on the neck... wait a minute...
Correction, it was a poor, blue-haired, and girlish-looking boy hiding behind a tree and he was muttering something about a fictional character and his dog while staring at her...
Ranma could not help but admit that the girl was cute, even though she was far too young for his taste. Because of her figure and stature, she looked to be around twelve or thirteen years old. Her blond hair was tied up into twin pigtails, and her outfit, for some reason, reminded him of these pictures he sometimes saw in these magazines that Hiroshi and Daisuke read in their spare time.
"Heheheh, first I'll take her away with me, then I'll get her phone number, and lastly..."
The poor girly boy did not get a chance to finish because he was already launched into LEO, courtesy of Ranma's kick.
"Great, a poor girly boy with a Lolita complex," Ranma muttered under his breath as he wondered what could make his day even worse...
"Help, somebody!" Ranma turned back to the petite girl by the vending machines and saw two grubby-looking men dragging her towards the exit of the park. One of them warned the girl that he would teach her body if she tried to do anything funny.
"Is it me or has there been a rise in the number of perverts?" Ranma asked himself before charging in.
-POW!-
-BAM!-
-SMASH!-
In less than a second the two thugs were on ground moaning in pain. Ranma looked down at the quivering bodies in distaste before turning to the girl. He noticed she was shivering, whether in cold or shock he could not tell, and began unbuttoning his shirt.
"Hey are you ok?" asked the gender-bending boy as he placed his favourite garment around her shoulders.
"What a cheap shirt," the girl remarked as she fingered it, causing Ranma to cringe, "Feels heavy, and looks like it needs to be washed..."
"...But I like it; it's warm..." the girl continued as a faint smile appeared on her face while looking up at him, "May I have the name of my saviour?"
"It's Ranma," the boy replied while scratching his nose, "and you are...?"
"It's..."
"Oh Nagi, thank goodness!" The two turned towards the source of the voice and found another girl running in their direction.
Ranma was tempted to rub his eyes to make sure he was not dreaming; the new girl was breathtakingly beautiful. Due to the nature of her aura, she reminded him of Kasumi, but unlike Soun's oldest daughter, this girl obviously had a more modern wardrobe, judging her current outfit, but then again Kasumi rarely spent any money for herself.
"I've been so worried since you went missing from the party," the brown-haired girl panted from all the running, "and what happened here?"
Stars suddenly appeared in the eyes as the girl named Nagi gave her a highly exaggerated account of the event. She explained how he was a reincarnation of the Man of Steel and that those ugly thugs tried to jump on her only to get owned by the pigtailed boy in one shot.
"Huh?" was all the older girl could utter out while Ranma just sweatdropped.
The twin-pigtailed girl ignored her and turned to Ranma, "By the way, I have to reward you for saving me."
"Um really it's nothing..."
"...If it's within my power, I will gladly grant it to you," Nagi continued.
Upon hearing this, the gears inside Ranma's head began turning, "A...anything?"
The girl gave him a blank stare in annoyance, "Do I look like I'm lying?"
"Um no no, of course not," Ranma waved his hands in front of him to stave off her rising irritation, 'Somehow she reminds me of Akane...'
"Well, if it's really anything... then can I lodge at your place for a while?" He then explained how he got kicked out from the Dojo and had nowhere else to stay. Of course, it was heavily edited and he had let out the fact he was being hunted by loan sharks. He figured that once he was welcome back to the dojo, he could beat up his father and turn him into a nice panda rug for which he could then sell for big bucks or just sell him right to the loan sharks.
"Of course, I'm willing to help out with the chores and keep the place clean. I don't want to be known as a fat lazy panda like my old man," finished Ranma.
"Hmm, I'll tell you what. We're actually lacking a butler in our house right now, and you do qualify for it. You will be paid adequately, and I'll even throw in free meal and board. What do you say?" The pre-teen offered.
"W-wait, are you sure it's okay, Ojou-sama? I certainly have no objections if he's going to stay with us for a couple of days, but I'm not sure if he has the necessary skills needed for a butler," said the older girl.
"What are you saying Maria? It's because we don't have a replacement for Himegami that I was almost kidnapped!" Nagi shot back.
"But I'm not sure if Ranma even knows the duties of a butler..."
"It is a martial artist's duty to protect the weak, so I'll do it!"
Both girls turned towards Ranma and asked in synch, "Who're you?"
"Huh? It's me, Ranma..." Ranma then noticed the change in the voice and realized what happened. The pigtailed martial artist sighed and then tried to reintroduce HERSELF, "I'm Ranma Satome, sorry about this..."
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Later...
After finding an empty gazebo to stay out of the falling snow, Ranma explained about Jusenkyo and the effects of the curse. However, without any water source besides the snow, there was really no way she could prove it to them.
"I know it sounds farfetched, but it's true. Besides, people keep tellin' me that I can't lie to save my life," Ranma finished.
"Well, it IS hard to take in..." the skeptical Maria replied with an emphasis on "is"; Nagi on the other hand...
"Oh wow, this is so cool!" her eyes sparkled in fascination as she cried out, "Say, do you transform into a mini-skirted bishoujo warrior who fights monsters under the name of moon every night?"
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We now tune to Nagi Vision™...
A fuku-and-tiara-wearing Ranma-chan stood on top of a tree and took a ridiculous-looking pose before shouting down at the horde of monsters, "In the name of Haumea, I shall destroy you!"
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"Umm no I don't," answered Ranma as she and Maria sweatdropped at the short girl's overactive imagination, 'Seriously, who would do that?'
Several sneezes could be heard throughout the multiverse right now.
Looking a bit disappointed, Nagi decided to try again, "Aww then are you some kind of tuxedo-wearing gentleman hero?"
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Nagi Vision™...
"You fiends, I shall destroy you and protect my beauteous Ojou-sama with my elegant technique!" An older, mature, and bishounen-looking Ranma clad in an expensive tuxedo, top hat, and a masquerade masque declared out his intentions while pointing his cane at the monsters and placing a single rose between his teeth.
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Nagi looked like she was about to swoon, but Ranma...
"GACK!" The masculine girl did massive face-fault before pulling her face out of the floor of the gazebo and screaming out, "No way I'm doing that. That sort of thing is better off for idiots like Kuno!"
"Awww," Nagi pouted in disappointment before brightening up, "Well my offer still stands if you still want it."
"Then I accept! As a martial artist, I will keep you safe, Ojou-sama! (2)" Ranma grasped her hand as she yelled out.
"Ahh you're embarrassing me," Nagi could not help but blush at redhead's declaration.
Maria just continued sweatdropping and wondered at the absurdity of it all.
To Be Continued...
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Author's Note
Ok I'm not sure if this has been done before but whatever. I wrote this because I find Ranma and Hayate to be very similar and yet different at the same time, and I want to see how Ranma fares in Hayate's situations. Both have tons of bad luck, attract women just like flowers attract bees, and are made fun of when it comes to gender. On the other hand, Hayate is much gentler and possesses a lot of talents compared to the rather crude Ranma "the One Trick Pony".
This chapter is short compared to my other recent works, but as my writing skills improve, the average chapter length will improve.
I know some of you will probably wonder about the status about Divine Intervention, Demonic Distribution. The truth is that it's at the bottom of the barrel of priority right now due to ideas in my head, not to mention I need to watch the anime or read the manga. And I know it's bad compared to my current fics, but I have decided not to do a rewrite since it would be a waste of time. I'll just continue writing with what I have posted already.
(1) About $1,536,027.25 USD or $1,924,559.35 CAD
(2) I understand that Ranma is not the type to use honorifics, but he does use them for people he feels worthy of respect, and I did mention before that there will be OOC. Anyway just like Kasumi, Ranma here will see Nagi and Maria and possibly some other characters worthy of addressing them with honorifics.