A/N: Thanks to EverIntriguiged for Beta'ing this story! Link to her on my profile under "favorite authors."

Initially this was a one-shot for the contest, and has been continued!

Disclaimer: Don't own!

"I'm a Cocktease or Twat Tease"

A Twilight Teasing Story Contest

Title: The Anti-Pleasure Dissertation

Rating: M

Pairing: Edward/Bella

Vampire or Human: Human

For more information please see contest details on ninapolitan's profile

"She's totally smart and totally threatening...Even liberals don't like smart women"
(Kurt Cobain, New York, July 1993).

There. That seemed like a good start. I couldn't wait until I finished writing this dissertation and could move on with my life. Scratch that – I couldn't wait until I finished defending this dissertation so I could move on with my life. I shouldn't put the cart before the horse, though, because defending it would actually mean it was written. My thesis adviser, Professor Friedan had been so great with feedback for this. She had gotten me on a feasible schedule to get everything done and as long as I stick to that with no distractions, I should have this draft finished in time to present to the committee in a few months.

The 'no distractions' part had been a bit rough lately. Not just on my unfulfilled libido, but because Alice and Rosalie kept bugging me about going on dates with them. They kept telling me they had this "friend" they wanted to set me up with. Right. I loved my girlfriends, but I wasn't sure I could let them set me up with some "friend" of theirs, which really meant he was friends with either Jasper or Emmett. At least they were trying to set me up with the opposite gender. That was progress.

Even if I had time to go out on a date, which I didn't, who's to say their friend would even like me? Most men didn't bother to get to know me further once they heard I was a women's studies major. It was a good thing, actually. I could weed out the guys who casually coughed "lesbian" or "feminazi" at me then snickered to their friends.

I was not militant. In fact, I was actually quite sexy. Even if I wasn't busy having sex.

There were no guys in my major, though, so it even further negated the possibility that I would find someone to date. I didn't have time anyhow.

I was pretty excited about my dissertation topic. It was about the objectification of women in the entertainment industry. It might've been a simple subject and easily overlooked as irrelevant subject matter but I was confident with my new research findings that this would put me ahead of the game in my field.

After typing out some more of my notes, I decided to call it a night. I still had some lesson plans to finish looking through for the class I was a TA for, Feminist Perspectives on Environmentalism. This week we were discussing how gender subordination and environmental destruction are related phenomena. I thought it was going to be an incredibly groundbreaking discussion in class.

As I finished tidying up I heard a knock on my door.

"Bella, we were planning on going out tonight, would you like to join us?" the voice called through the door. It's Alice.

"Thanks Alice, but I'm actually looking through my lesson plans for the week. Maybe next time?" I told her this in the politest voice possible, but I was sure she picked up on the fact that my idea of 'next time' is 'never'.

"Ok, I'll let you off the hook for now, but will you at least come out and say hi?"

Ugh. She's so persistent, the little pixie. I could've used this small break to get a drink from the kitchen and give a perfunctory 'hi' to their boyfriends. I shut down my laptop and took a quick peek in the mirror to make sure I was somewhat presentable. After I decided my hair wasn't a complete haystack, I straightened my clothes a bit and walked out into the hallway. I could hear them laughing about something Emmett said. Probably some sexual innuendo, I thought snidely. I liked Emmett and Jasper well enough, but they weren't the most evolved men I'd ever met.

"Hey Bella!" Emmett boomed at me. I cringed at the volume.

"Hey guys," I give him and Jasper a small smile and then I see someone else is with them.

"Hi, I'm Edward," he said as he offered me his hand to shake. Wow. Could a man be this beautiful? Here before me stood the most gorgeous specimen I had ever seen. Tall with a lean physique and hair thoroughly tousled like he just had a good tumble in bed and his eyes…his eyes were a shade of startling green. They were so deep in color and I felt like he could look into my soul.

"Hi. I'm Bella, as I'm sure you figured out,"

"So, Bella, how come you don't want to join us tonight? You don't want to make poor Eddie here the fifth wheel do you?" Stupid Emmett.

"Well thanks for inviting me out, Emmett, but I actually have a lot of work I'd like to get done. I still have some lesson plans to go through." They didn't need to know I had shut down my laptop for the night, but maybe I could have read for a bit. I still hadn't had the chance to start the new Naomi Wolf book that everyone was talking about.

"Oh, you're a teacher?" Edward asked.

"Well, just a Teaching Assistant. I'm working on my doctorate right now." Please don't ask what I'm studying. Please don't ask what I'm studying. I really didn't want to have to take this gorgeous man down a peg or two once he made some sexist comment.

"Edward is working on his doctorate, too, Bella!" Alice chimed in. "You should really join us so you two could talk more. You guys have a lot in common." Yeah, I'll bet.

"Yeah Bella, we could always use another egghead so we don't have to listen to Eddie rant about the lack of intellect at the bars."

"How many times have I told you my name is Edward?" He sounded exasperated. I could only imagine the banter between them. I looked tentatively at him. His eyes were pleading. I felt my resolve slipping away as his eyes penetrated mine.

"Okay, alright. Let me change quickly and we can go."

"Great!" Edward beamed at me. Honestly, I don't know why I let myself get involved in these situations.

I quickly changed into a simple black halter dress. Rose and Alice were a little more daring than I was, but I still liked dressing sexy when the occasion called for it.

"Edward will have to drive you there, Bella, there isn't room in Jasper's car," Well that's just great. Now I have to spend a half hour in the car with him. I didn't say anything but inclined my head to let her know I had heard.

We walked to his car – a silver Volvo. It looked shiny and new. Good taste.

He moved to open my door for me but I put my hand on his to stop him. The feel of electricity that I felt when I touched him was shocking, but I didn't let it dissuade me from what I wanted to say.

"I can get the door, thank you," My tone was a bit clipped, and I didn't mean to sound so cold but I couldn't stand when someone thought I couldn't do something for myself.

He seemed a bit taken aback, but brushed it off lightly, "Sorry, my mom ingrained in me that I should always open the door for a lady, especially a beautiful one as yourself. Chivalry, right?" I blushed at that.

"Well that's rather charming of you, but I'm used to doing things for myself and women can be chivalrous too."

I got into the car and he walked over to the driver's side to let himself in. We both buckled ourselves in and he turned on the CD player. I recognized the tune that started to play.

"You like Team Dresch?!"

"Sure…why so surprised?" He looked at me quizzically.

"Well, I've never met a guy who liked obscure Riot Grrrl bands."

"I wouldn't really classify Team Dresch as Riot Grrrl, but I do appreciate that genre as well. I like a lot of different music," To prove his point, he fast forwarded to the next song on his CD, which I recognized as well. His hand nearly brushed my leg when he changed the song and I inwardly sighed. The crackling chemistry between us didn't show any signs of going away soon.

"I enjoy Debussy as well. You do indeed have varied interests," I smiled. It was so rare to find someone my age who appreciated such a variety of music.

"Where are you in your doctoral program?" I was actually thankful he started asking me about my program despite my earlier reservations. This man was too good to be true so far, and nothing acted as more of a cockblocker than the chauvinism that was sure to surface soon enough, "varied interests" or not. He probably just thought punk girls looked cute with their baby barrettes.

"Well, I've met with the committee to present my proposal already, and right now I am working on the first draft of my dissertation. You?"

"Not quite as far along, I am still working with my advisor to pinpoint my dissertation topic. It's been a slow process as I keep changing my mind." He paused. "What is your topic?"

"Um, the objectification of women in the entertainment industry."

"Entertainment industry? You mean Hollywood?"

"Well I suppose some of it is filmed there, but my focus is specifically on adult entertainment."

"You're researching porn?" His voice remained calm, but I was sure something else was lingering under the question.

"Yes," I didn't feel like clarifying.

His breathing quickened a bit before his next question.

"So do you watch a lot of porn for your research?"

"Well, yes, I kind of have to."

"And what do you think of it?"

I laughed at this one, "There is a lot of bad porn out there!"

"Are you opposed to pornography itself?"

"Not at all, I think it can be rather…enticing watching others have sex, but the industry seems to pander to a certain idea of how women should be and I don't agree with it."

I chanced a look at him. His eyes were glazed over a bit – I imagined from talking about porn.

"You don't think the industry is just catering to its clientele?"

"Yes, and it's true, men are predominantly the clientele for pornography, but there is a growing demographic of women who are embracing pornography in their sex lives and I think that demographic would like more representation in how women are portrayed."

His voice came out lower than before, "Are you included in this demographic?"

"I like to think so," I winked at him. "I enjoy sex and being sexy. I am not as much of a visual person, so for the most part I enjoy reading erotic fiction, but I do watch porn both on video and online."

He didn't respond to this and I noticed we'd pulled up to the club. As soon as he was parked, I unbuckle my seatbelt and opened my door before he had the chance to. The rest of the group wasn't here yet, so Edward came around to my side of the car and leaned up against the door next to me.

He leaned in close and whispered, "I like watching porn, too, but even sexier than that is reading Chuck Palahniuk describe a good fucking."

I looked at him with wide eyes. He had the sauciest 'I want to fuck your brains out' crooked grin on his face that made me want to lick him.

"Cat got your tongue?"

I was saved by Jasper's car pulling up beside us. Edward stood up straighter and cleared his expression. He turned to me to speak again, "We can finish this discussion later," I blushed and nodded.

After everyone got out of the car, we walked towards the club. There was a bit of a line, but Rose and Alice worked it a little to gain early entrance for us into the club.

I smirked at the display, which Edward noticed of course. Once we got inside he commented on my reaction.

"Guess you aren't a fan of them using their feminine wiles to get their way?"

"I wouldn't say that. I actually like that they are being assertive and getting what they want. I'm just amused at how typical the reaction from the door man was once they used their 'feminine wiles', as you called it."

We got to the bar and ordered our drinks. I ordered a Kir and Edward ordered whatever beer was on tap. I normally imagined that Edward was the type of guy that would offer to pay – what, with his 'chivalry' act, but after our door incident, he probably thought better of it.

Rose dragged me and Alice out to the dance floor while Jasper, Emmett and Edward talked at the bar. I liked dancing with the girls. We didn't go out often because of my time constraints, but I felt very carefree dancing with them. Rose's dancing was very sensual and while I wasn't normally attracted to women, I didn't mind saying the way she dances turned me on. Alice was attractive in her own right, but her dancing was different – peppier. It was still sexy, but in a more exuberant way.

I looked back over at the bar to see Edward staring intently. His intense stare emboldened me so I danced a little closer to Rose, nearly grinding her. Alice took the hint and came up behind me and soon we were all grabbing and grinding each other. He had to be enjoying this—I sure as hell was. I closed my eyes enjoying the feeling as we danced a few more minutes. I felt a hand on my upper arm and Edward leaned in to whisper, "May I have this dance?"

It was cheesy but I said yes anyhow. I wondered if he was going to pick up where our previous conversation left off. I didn't have long to wonder as he pulled me close to him and brushed his lips against my ear as he speaks.

"Tell me, Bella, what other kinds of research did you have to do?"

I shivered involuntarily. His question was innocent enough, but the tone made me think of so much more than just my research.

"I didn't do any personal research if that's what you're implying."

"I wasn't implying anything of the sort." He smiled and pulled me closer to him. Our bodies were moving in sync to the music. His hands were guiding my hips to the beat and I wrapped my hands around his neck to keep me grounded.

"So no to the personal research, not that I asked, but what kinds of films did you end up watching? Did you gravitate towards any in particular?"

"No, I had to keep it objective regardless of my personal preferences."

"Oh? And what might those be?"

I gave him a wink, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

He spun me around so my back was to his chest. All this research about sex while not actually getting any was starting to wear me down. I moved my ass against his crotch just slightly to see his reaction. He responded in kind and pushed forward so I could feel the full effect of my movements.

"You know love, if you keep doing that you will be partaking in personal research and I'll be the one doing the objectification."

He moved his lips to my neck and placed hot open-mouthed kisses on me. With him so close to me I found it hard to concentrate.

"Are you going to tell me how would you objectify me?"

"If you want me to."

"I do, but let me forewarn you—I've seen and read quite a bit, so you'll have to be pretty creative to impress me."

The kisses on my neck were getting more intense as he sucked harder moving back up towards my ear.

"You are the sexiest creature I've ever met. You are so fucking hot and you can't even imagine how many ways I want to fuck you. That's not all I want to do, though. I want to videotape us fucking so you can watch what I do to you for your research. I want you to watch as I dominate you, take control of your body, and make you completely mine. I want you to watch yourself enjoying all of this."

I groaned as his words worked their way through my body. It didn't even register that his hands were moving as well. They were up and down my sides in firm but slow motions. Slowly his hands were moving southward. I was breathing so hard by this point it was a wonder I didn't pass out. His fingers were making their way under the hem of my dress teasing the flesh between my thighs. I was so close to just telling him 'take me now.' I wanted him to slam me hard against whatever surface he could find and fuck me into oblivion. I opened my mouth to tell him just that when I heard a voice interrupting us.

"Hey guys, there you are!" Alice. Cockblocker. "Rose isn't feeling well, so we're going to go home. I just wanted to give you a heads up."

Well if they were going to ditch me, maybe tonight was looking up after all.

"You know, Rose is probably going to keep me up all night throwing up in the bathroom. Maybe we could head to your place."

He gave me a knowing smile. "Sure."

"Great! Let's just stop by my place so I can pick up a few things."

"No need, I've already got a video camera at mine."

"Don't tease me now!"

"I don't intend to. Well, maybe just a little bit."

A/N: Just some tongue-in-cheek :) I am without a doubt a feminist, but that doesn't mean I can't laugh at myself.
notes: Betty Friedan was an activist and author; a Kir is crème de cassis (black currant) and white wine – usually my drink of choice; the course Bella TAs is an actual course at Vassar.

The Anti-Pleasure Dissertation title is taken from a Bikini Kill song. Link in profile!

If you like this, check out my other stories on my profile page.

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