NOOOOOOO, I just can't do it! I've seen other people doit and I tried but I can't do it. I can not hold a chapter for ransom for reviews. It's too evil!!!
So I've come to a decision, I will never do this again. If my chapter is finished, it's going up.

I've also decided not to ask for reviews anymore. It's already awesome that you read it. I hope you enjoy it when you do. Those of you who have left reviews are just more awesome, that's all. You know who you are. I'll just invite you to add my stories to your alerts or favorites. I've been using those to find even more great fanfics. I'll rant some more at the end. Pls enjoy. Thnx. XD

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly

II

After everything that happened, things couldn't really go back to normal again. Freddie was still dating Shannon and it was getting too hard for me to be around him. Carly was all over me to do something about it. I started making excuses and avoided both Freddie and Carly as much as I could. I stopped answering my phone and e-mails. I even missed iCarly a couple of times. When I was on the show, my heart wasn't in it and it was a disaster every time. Carly was getting upset and Freddie was worried about me, but I just pushed them away. It didn't really help being away from them though. I just spent my time alone wondering what Freddie was doing with Shannon instead. I was going insane from it. It went on like that for weeks.

Eventually, Carly came to me alone and yelled at me for being an idiot about everything. She threatened to tell Freddie about the whole thing if I didn't snap out of it. I got mad and took out everything I was holding back on Carly. We fought for a while, screeching and screaming the whole time. We had never a fight like that before. I needed that. When it was all over, both of us were crying and apologizing for the hurtful things we said. It made me realize that the since the kiss, it wasn't only Freddie that changed. The Sam Puckett from before would never have acted like a stupid little girl with a broken heart. She would've taken what she wanted and she would let nothing and no one get in her way. I apologized again to Carly for everything and asked her if she would help me find a way tell Freddie. She happily agreed.

For a month we planned on what I should do. At first I thought I should just go up and tell him, but it didn't seem right. I admitted that I changed enough so that I wanted the moment to be special. I didn't want to just get it over with this time. I thought that he had to see me differently – since I had to compete for his affection. Carly assured me over and over again that Freddie felt the same about me. She didn't explain how she knew – just that she knew and that I should trust her. After all, she figured out I liked Freddie before I did. So we conspired and connived until we came up with an idea – I needed every advantage I could get and Carly was the perfect accomplice. She added all the little details to the moment. I thought some of them were a bit too much, but she insisted. Carly was a hopeless romantic and she was having the time of her life so I left her alone. She convinced Spencer to help set up some of it. I'm still surprised I agreed to all of it, actually.

It would be on the one year anniversary of when Freddie and I kissed. Carly and I agreed I should wear a dress, but I rejected a lot of the extravagant suggestions Carly made. In the end, I chose a sleeveless, dark green dress with a tight bodice and a scoop neck at the back and front. It was modest and simple. It was also the first dress I'd worn in a long, long time so it should definitely surprise Freddie. On the day of our little plan, Carly spent all day making me over. She helped me fix my hair up in a more formal style which left my long blonde curls draped over my left shoulder. I was glad Carly was there to help me - I would have been a complete mess without her. When the time came near, we hugged and she wished me luck. She told me she would text me as soon as she told Freddie where I was.

So I sat alone on the fire escape nervously waiting. Even though I was more nervous at that moment than I had ever been in my life, I was resolved to see it through. I had wasted too much time already. If I had been honest about how I felt for him since the beginning, I could have spare myself all this grief. I finally admitted that I was in love with Freddie Benson at that moment. It was the first time I said that word, even to myself. Then my phone beeped at me – he was on his way. I stood up, took off my coat and straightened up my outfit. The night air was cold, but that wasn't what was causing me to shiver. I ran around and made sure everything was ready. Then I heard his footsteps down the hall and my heart beat skipped. I faced the window and stood as demurely as I could manage. I prayed Carly was right about this whole thing.

Freddie called out my name from the hall but stopped at the window when he saw me. I could read his lips as he mouthed my name again in surprise. He stepped out onto the fire escape and looked around in amazement. Across the railings, buntings of white cloth were draped around strings of white lights. They gave off a soft hazy glow through the fabric. More strings of light were hanging all around us from the landing above. As he walked closer, I watched the reflection of the lights flicker in his eyes like stars. There was a song playing in the background and Freddie stopped to listen, smiling as he heard the words. With just a couple of feet between us, we both said hi. Then he said I looked beautiful. I felt my entire body warm up on hearing him say that. He asked what was going on - so I held his hands and started telling him everything. It felt so good to say all that I've been holding back for so long. I told him about all the things that lead up to this moment, while Freddie just stood patiently and smiled. I opened up to him like I never thought I could. When I finished, I told him I was sorry it took me so long to realize it, but I was starting to fall in love with him. I took a deep breath and, staring down at our hands, I asked him if it was possible for him to fall in love with me too. I felt relieved to finally ask it. After another deep breath, I looked back at Freddie's face.

My heart stopped as I saw Freddie's smile slowly fade. The serious look on his face was completely unreadable. I froze. What was wrong? I tried to ask out loud, but my throat had become so dry. I could tell from his eyes that he was struggling to find the right words to say. All I could do was just hold on to the hope that they would be the words I've been waiting to hear.

Instead Freddie told me he was sorry, but I was too late.

The moment I heard him say it, I realized it was all my fault. The words felt like hammerblows to my chest and I was crushed. I had my answer - I took too long and lost him - and nothing could ever be the same. It was all I could do to not run away from him and hide like a broken-hearted child. I looked down to hold back my tears and started to turn away - but Freddie held onto my wrists before I could. He softly said my name, but I shook my head and refused to face him. How could I? Freddie said my name again as he gently held my chin and turned my face up to his.

And suddenly, he kissed me. It wasn't an innocent kiss this time – it wasn't awkward either. His kiss was full of passion and promise – full of fireworks and revelations. It was an amazing kiss. I didn't understand why it was happening, but I also didn't care. We lost ourselves in it for what seemed like forever. When we finally pulled apart, I realized we had wrapped ourselves tightly in each others arms. Freddie touched my cheek with his fingertips and called me silly to go through the trouble to set all this up. He was sorry but he couldn't possibly fall in love with me. He had already fallen in love with me - exactly one year ago. I was too late.

The effect of what he said was staggering. It was like feeling all of your emotions slam into you at once. But most of all I was blissfully happy so I stood there, wide-eyed and speechless for a minute.

Then I heard Freddie laughing softly and realized what he just got away with. I caught the mischievous glint in his eyes and some of my composure came back. I pushed him away and punched him in the arm. I told him it wasn't funny and tried to look furious at him - without much success. I growled at him and even stamped my foot like a spoiled brat. It only made him laugh harder, so I tried to punch him again. He caught my arm that time and pulled me close, both of us giving into laughter. Freddie said I deserved it for making him wait so long. He thought I would never come around. He even had Carly help him get me up here tonight to tell me, but he wasn't expecting all of this. Things finally clicked into place in my head. Freddie turned serious again and told me he loved me. I told him I loved him too.

From the window we heard a loud squeal of delight. Freddie and I both laughed as we saw Carly jumping up and down, pounding on Spencer's back. He was trying to keep the video camera steady on Freddie and me the whole time. Both of them started whooping and cheering – they were yelling out our names and telling us to go for it. So Freddie and I kissed again… and again… and again.

I couldn't believe it. I guess I really was too late – and I couldn't have been happier.

Just a couple of notes.

I really tried to try not use any dialogue. It was really hard to pace the storytelling without it. I hope it worked anyway.

I purposefully didn't name the song playing in the background so you could fill it in. If you want to share your ideas for the song, that would be very cool. I'll post what I heard in my head while writing this on my profile, but don't read it until you've come up with your own first - got it? - Good! XD

Call me weird but I wanted to be Carly in this story, coming up with the whole thing. It would have been SOOO fun to set these two up.

Finally, I'll be posting my next story later tonight. SEDDIE of course. I'm stuck on chapter 1. But as per my rant at the beginning, if I'm finished - the chapter is going up.

Thnx for reading again.