Title: Raphael, Valon and Alister go to the Zoo

Summary: Ever wonder what happened to dartz's gang after the orecalcose epidemic? Ever wonder what their everyday lives would be like?

Warning: There is most likely going to be some inappropriate (but funny) humor used in this story do not read if no fun or easily offended. Also I pretty mush bash most of the female characters.

Disclaimer: I do not own yu-gi-oh the show or the characters.

Chapter 1

Raphael slammed the door to his, shared, apartment as he entered. He stomped angrily to the living room while thinking about the job last few job interviews he had failed this morning. After the whole Dartz epidemic he was in need of an occupation and some money would be nice as well.

"What's with all of the noise?" Valon whispered loudly from the couch.

"Valon why are you whispering-" Raphael looked down at Valon and raised an eyebrow. Valon was sitting on the couch cradling a small infant in his arms. "Wow, I leave for just a few hours and you and Alister have to go and defy the laws of nature and have a love child. I see how you are." He said walking into the kitchen.

"Hah, ha, real funny." Valon replied sarcastically following his friend into the kitchen. "I'm watching the little brat so we can have some extra cash because someone in this apartment won't get a job." Valon says rather viciously. Sort of like how a girlfriend would talk to their boyfriend right before a breakup that didn't involve make-up sex later in life.

"Well Excuse me for not selling my soul for a quick buck." Raphael yelled.

"Hey! Who or what goes up Alisters ass in none of our concern!" Valon yelled. There was a moment of Silence before Raphael replied.

"I was talking about you Valon. You hate kids remember. I meant you."

"Oh."

"Well that certainly does explain a lot." Raphael said trying to fill the silence. "Especially where all that money came from. I knew you weren't getting a settlement for a sexual harassment lawsuit." Raphael finished.

"And why is that?" Valon asked.

"Because you're a man whore if anyone felt you up you would like it."

Valon shrugged and knocked on the bathroom door. "Alister are you out of there yet I have to pee!" He shouted through the door.

"I'm doing my hair!" Alister yelled. Suddenly the infant woke up and began to cry.

"Raphael can you handle the child for a while I got to pee." Valon said walking towards the window and opening it.

"Your not honestly going to piss out the window are you?"

"Yes I am."

"But we're on the third floor."

"So?"

There was another moment of silence (besides the loud crying of the child Valon was SUPPOSED to be watching.) Raphael sighed and walked toward the baby as Valon undid his pants.

"I think I see Mai!" Valon yelled "Take that you stupid whore!" Valon yelled as he continued to piss out the window.

"Who's child is this anyway?" Raphael asked as the baby fell asleep again.

"Mai's." Valon replied shortly.

"That brings me back to my whole selling your soul speech."

Valon laughed as he zipped his pants back up. Valon grabbed the newspaper and sat on the couch. "How about we go to the zoo?"

"What?" Alister asked emerging from the bathroom after countless hours on his hair. "Why would we do that?"

"Because it's entertaining and free." Valon replied

"I could entertain you!" Alister replied.

"I know but as much as I appreaciate being sucked off I would like to do something somewhat productive."

Raphael stayed silent. He must have been out looking for a job more often then he thought.

"Fine whatever."