Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter's series, characters or settings. All you recognize belongs to J. K. Rowling.
A/N: I just heard Kelly Clarkson's new song and it caught my attention, so I decided to write a new fic with the purpose of capturing the meaning of the song into a story. Well, I hope you like the first chapter, it's short 'cause it's supposed to be an introduction. Please reviewww and happy reading.
Chapter 1
"I'm so screwed"
It was a sunny September morning when I first saw her. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Her bright red hair caught my eye, but when her hazel eyes suddenly found mine, I knew, I was in love.
Well, ok, maybe it can't really be called love, since I was barely eleven.
It was my very first time to go to Hogwarts and I was just waiting with my mother and father for the time to leave to come. Then I saw her.
She was surrounded by a lot of people. There was a black haired man with his arm around a ginger woman and a red haired man holding a brunette. Around them was a little red haired boy talking to a black haired one and other three red heads with them. Two of them looked too young to go to Hogwarts. The third one, I'd never forget, looked a little annoyed. She didn't seem to be enjoying her family's company. She seemed to realize I was starring at her 'cause she suddenly turned around and met my gaze.
Her face looked curious at first, like she was trying to sort me out. But then, her father, I supposed, kneeled to her level and told her something as he looked at me briefly. She looked confused and her mother told her something too. Then I heard a whistle and I guessed it was time to leave. My mother caught me in a hug. I've never really liked hugs, so it made me a little uneasy. She let me go and I turned to my father. He had never been big on emotions, so I just expected a hand shake and a 'good luck'. But he wasn't looking at me; he was looking at my red haired. He then turned his eyes to me.
"You better not associate yourself with any member of that family, do you understand?" he said pointing at the beautiful girl and the crowd hugging her and saying goodbye.
I couldn't understand why my father was saying that, but I just nodded and shook his hand goodbye.
It's funny how you are so loyal and so submissive to your parents when you're young. You believe all they say and obey to their every demand. Back then, I was as obedient as a domestic elf, so I listened to my dad and resign to a fate without my pretty red head.
That day I found myself a little grumpy, so I settled in an empty compartment. For what it was worth. Less than five minutes later a lot of people came in.
I was able to recognize a few as the people my father told me not to befriend. I have to admit, I panicked. So I ran out.
Unfortunately for my father, I bumped into someone at the door. Fantastic news for me though, since who I bumped to turned out to be the ginger girl.
"Watch it" she said and walked past me.
I stayed at the door dumbfounded. I know after that humiliation, I should have gone far far away to hide my face, but she had spoken to me. I had never heard such a beautiful voice in my life. It was so soft and calm. What a beautiful sound it was. Even today it's the most beautiful thing I've heard.
Soon enough I found another compartment, full of people I did know and was allowed to talk to. The Zabini's twins, Lucas and Leonard, were there, along with Mischa Flint and Dorian Goyle.
Both Mischa and Dorian are older then me, so I guess I considered them my friends back then more for protection that actual feeling. It was Luke's and Leo's first year too. And soon they all started talking about houses and all. Obviously the twins expected to be in Slytherin and for being a Malfoy I guess I was expected to have the same fate.
Well, my father got his wish. Later that night I was sorted into Slytherin based on who knows what portion of my personality, making any kind of relationship between Rose Weasley (whose name I learned during the sorting… What a beautiful name…), utterly impossible.
She, as expected, was sorted into Gryffindor, becoming my "instant enemy" according to Dorian. You know typical Gryffindor-Slytherin rivalry… What a nonsense really. But still I listened to what Goyle and Mischa said, like the little good boy I was.
In the next two years, I would learn my beautiful Rose hated me. I guess she was a little good girl too and listened to her family and stayed away from me. I suppose, even if times have changed, its inevitable for Weasleys to hate Malfoys and the other way around. Although that was the first time I realized I'm not like the rest of my family. I didn't feel any kind of hatred towards the pack of red heads, or the Potters, whom, for some reason, I was supposed to hate to death. What can I say? My father's grudges are his, not mine.
In time I found my own person and, well he was definitely a Malfoy. I have to say making fun of people is still fun, thought I'm not supposed to do it now.
Anyways, I grew into Malfoy skin and my personality changed matching the green and silver tie I was obligated to wear for classes. But even though I starting complying to those who expected me to become this huge ass, I could never forget that first meeting, when she was curious about me, before her bloody dad told her whatever it was he said. She was always at the back of my mind. Even when I meant to be horrible to her, I couldn't; though that didn't stop her from glaring at me and telling me to go die in a hole.
I guess I never really wanted to hurt her; in fact, all I ever wanted was to have the courage to approach her and say hello. I knew my father would have a heart attack, but I wanted so badly to let her know just how magnificent she was to me. Not only was she beautiful, she was feisty and sarcastic. She was blunt and not afraid to show who she was. It had me hypnotized. Still, I never grew from the coward I am.
I still haven't said hello.
I'm seventeen now, I'm in my last year at school, and I still can't talk to her. Don't get me wrong, I am not a complete loser. I can get any girl, just no the only one I want. I've seen her go from one boyfriend to other, imagining myself in the shoes of whichever prick she picks. I choke every time she looks at me, and I can't help feeling all over again like the eleven year old that collided with her and didn't even have voice to apologize.
I don't have other choice but grow some guts though. This year I'm Head Boy and she is, as expected, Head Girl. We'll be sharing the same common room. She'd be sleeping a few meters from me....
I'm so screwed.