Funny Cullen Moments:

Evil Alice

"Shopping!" Alice screeched, running down the stairs straight into Emmett.

"Can we go to the hardware store?" Carlisle shouted from his study.

"Why?" Alice frowned wondering why we would need to fix anything.

"Emmett! Broke the tap in the bathroom!"

"HOW?" she demanded cornering Emmett.

"It was an accident!" he screamed running out the door.

Edward stepped out from behind the piano and Bella from behind the curtain and high fived Alice.

"Yes I helped you scare Emmett off" Alice stated

"So did I!" Carlisle interrupted.

"Yes, you will now have to come shopping with me!" She laughed evilly and ran out the door into the Porsche. She then shouted "for a month in Paris!"

"Here we go again!" Bella sighed.

Renesmee Talks

"Mama!" I ran across the room and scooped my baby up I my arms with Bella close behind. She had just said her first word!

Alice appeared behind me and started recording the words.

"Dada!" she cooed

"Ducky!" she pointed out the window at a pigeon.

"No, pigeon!" Bella corrected

"Ducky!"

"Pigeon" Alice said

"Ducky!"

"OK! Ducky!" Esme compromised while Alice and Bella glared at the pigeon.

"VE-ge-mite!" Renesmey pointed to the kitchen.

"You want a vegemite sand-witch sweetie?" Esme offered smiling at her granddaughter.

'NO!" Soft tears ran down Renesme's face.

"Don't cry!" Jasper yelped, he hated it when people got upset.

"I wanna visit Jacob!" She sobbed. Rosalie drew in a sharp breath and exhailed in defeat.

"Edward!" Bella yelped, tugging on my arm. "Renesme's lips don't move when she talks!"

"It could be a gift, to project voice into someone's head."

"Smart Baby!" I cooed, handing her to Carlisle.

'What the-" Carlisle exclaimed "Emmett!"

Emmett appeared at the bottom of the stairs looking sheepish.

"Oh my!" Esme gasped, as Carlisle removed a small radio from the back of Renesme's clothes "Renesmey can't talk!" Esme looked like she was going to fall apart and cry.

"Emmett! You will sleep outside and accompany Alice on 100 shopping trips, you will also weed the garden, not annoy Bella, Leave Edwards Piano alone, not drive for 20 days and wash the dishes after the werewolves come over for dinner today!" Carlisle looked pleased about his speech and returned to his office.

"Mama?" Renesmey asked.

"Emmett! I'm going to kill you!" Alice screamed

"I swear it wasn't me!" Emmett pleaded

"Look!" Alice screamed grabbing Emmett's walkie-talkie.

"It was off the whole time!"

If you have any more ideas please send them to me!

If you do Alice will take you shopping and give you her Porsche,

Esme will re-decorate your house,

Carlisle will make you all better,

Jasper won't drive you insane

and

Emmett will pretend to be a duck for a week! Sound good? Rosalie will also give you all of her makeup!