Hey people! So, after all my initial uncertainty about this story, I'm so glad you guys liked it! I'm also glad that I found some Clois fans as well (I forgot to mention last time, that "chocolate and halibut" line is – sadly – not mine. I ….borrowed it from Smallville, because from what I can see, Clois is just a grown up Seddie….with some super-human powers thrown in.) Anyways, stopping myself before I get into a nice little ramble… here's chapter two of Something to Talk About!!

*****DISCLAIMER***** I do not own iCarly. (I can't think of some smart-alack remark to comment on this with, so….blah)

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I waited as patiently as I could for Freddie to stop laughing. It was kind of rude, really. Here I was, volunteering a perfectly good idea, and all he could do was laugh in my face. "Well, I'd like to see you come up with something better!" I snarled, crossing my arms and leaning back against the couch with a huff.

"Sam, you, you're actually suggesting we--" he began, but couldn't finish the thought as he dissolved into another fit of laughter. Oh, it was all I could do not to smack that grin off his face… "You want us to actually…date?" he asked in disbelief, staring at me like I had grown an extra head.

I felt my face scrunch up in disgust. "Ew, no. Not actually date. We'd just be pretending, to get everyone off our backs." This set off another giggle fit. Really, what guy giggles? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all… The laughter slowly died down, however, as he realized I wasn't joining in.

"You're serious, aren't you?" I said nothing, just sat there, staring at him. "Oh God, you're serious. Ok, how is us pretending to date going to stop people from thinking we're dating? We'd just be confirming everything they think is going on!"

"Very true, my dear dork." I began, grinning as he shot a glare my way. "But you see, if we make everyone think we're dating, we can also convince them that we're breaking up." The bewildered expression on his face clearly showed that he had no idea what I was talking about. "Ok, I'm going to make this as simple as I can for ya; we "date". Everyone goes 'Ah-ha, I knew it!' We keep it going for…a few days, a week tops. Then we break up and everyone finds someone else to gossip about. Got it Fredward?"

A look of comprehension began to form on his face. "You know, this just might work…"

"Of course it'll work, you nub!" I scoffed, smacking him lightly in the arm. I may have failed that problem solving test in Algebra, but I know what to do when it counts. The kids at school will be easy to fool. The only hard part of this plan is pretending I actually--" I glanced over at Freddie and shuddered. "like you."

Well, actually, pretending to like Freddie might not be all that hard. We were friends, after all. And, despite all of his lame and extremely nubbish ways, he wasn't all that bad. But pretending that I had feelings, more-than-friendship feelings, in front of our whole school? That might be a bit of a stretch.

Freddie let out a snort. "Yeah, because pretending to like you is gonna be a walk in the park."

"Hey! Well, you…" I trailed off, realizing what he meant. "So, we're really doing this?" I asked, looking over at him hesitantly.

He sighed, leaning back on the couch cushions. "Yeah, I guess we are."

"Hey guys! Freddie still alive in there?" we jumped as we heard Carly on the other side of the apartment door, struggling with the key. Freddie shot up to open the door for her. "Oh, thanks Freddie." she thanked him with a sweet smile. I could practically see the boy melt. Give me a break. How was he going to pretend to be dating me if all he could do was swoon over my best friend? It was annoying, really. "So I'm glad to see you two survived." the aforementioned best friend teased as she set he grocery bags on the kitchen island.

"Yeah, we're great Carly!" Freddie chirped, all bright and sunny now that Carly was in the room. Ugh. It almost makes me sick, watching him fawn over her. It's not that it bugs me personally or anything, it's just so …. annoying. She's never going to feel the same way; I don't know why he keeps trying. "Actually, Sam and I were--"

Ack, Freddie, what are you doing? "We were actually going to get going." I cut in, grabbing Freddie and steering him towards the door.

"But Sam, I just got ham! Don't you want to stay for dinner?" Carly called after us.

"Sorry Carls," I replied, shoving Freddie through the door and turning to face her before stepping through myself. "I've got a big paper due tomorrow on …..problem solving." With that, I quickly shut the door behind me before she got the chance to ask why I had suddenly become so interested in a school paper. I spun on my heel to face an indignant Freddie.

"Why'd you stop me?" he hissed.

"Are you crazy?" I retorted. "You can't tell Carly!" His face turned confused, and I explained, sighing. "The first person people are going to to confirm our story will be Carly. We can't tell her anything; you know how bad Carly is at keeping secrets! She'd blow the whole thing before it even got started."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense…." Freddie agreed, looking a little down. Humph. Probably just disappointed he won't be able to confide in his precious Carly. See, it's annoying how I can practically predict how Freddie will act in regards to Carly. The boy is so predictable.

We stood there awkwardly for a while, wondering what exactly two friends were supposed to say to each other after agreeing to fake-date. "So….." Freddie began, looking more uncomfortable by the second. "See you tomorrow?"

I smirked. "You bet." I don't know what possessed me to do it – temporary insanity, my never-ending mission to make his life miserable, I'm not sure - but I leaned over and gave Freddie a quick peck on the cheek. "Boyfriend." I smirked, before walking away, leaving Freddie rooted to the spot, staring after me.

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**** Ugh, why is it I never seem to be happy with this story? Well, this is probably not my best, I'm legit falling asleep as I type this (but omg, how cool would it be to type in your sleep?) Anyway, I'm going to bed. More of this and iSleepwalk coming soon! Night y'all!