A/N- Disclaimer: All is owned by the fabulous Stephenie Meyer. Please no sue. Kids need to eat.

Convalescing (As I Watch in Awe)-Chapter One

I cradled her in my arms, as gently as I could, in the back of Carlisle's Mercedes. I was glad she had drifted off to sleep; Carlisle was driving-like a maniac, as Bella would say- even by my standards. I half-heard him speaking on his cell, finding the nearest hospital, being connected to the ER, and explaining who he was and who he was bringing with him. His voice sounded calm, probably for my sake, but his thoughts gave him away. But I already knew Bella was in trouble; her injuries were severe, and she had lost so much blood.

As I looked at her, felt her in my arms, I sized her up. She was so cold, and a grayish-white in color. The right side of her face was purplish-blue, her right eye swollen. Her bottom lip was cut and dried blood was crusted on it. She was breathing shallowly through her mouth; I could see blood on her teeth. Her blood was everywhere- her hair was blackened with it and plastered to the back of her head; it covered her face, her hands. It soaked her white shirt and her jeans. The blood was dying, growing stale in its scent, but, alarmed, I smelled fresh blood, too. She was actively bleeding from somewhere. The back of her head? No, Carlisle had stitched that up…her hand? No, my venom had clotted that wound off…

Then I saw it. A bright red tendril of blood sliding down her neck, to her collar, down her chest. My eyes scanned her neck and her head to see the source, and I found it. It was coming from her ear.

My stomach clenched with the realization that this was usually the sign of a serious head injury.

"Carlisle, she's bleeding from her ear."

Damn."We're just about there, Edward. They're waiting for her. It will be alright."

It felt as if she was holding on to a thread with a weakening grasp, and I was on the other end, desperately clutching it to me, willing her to stay strong, stay with me.

As we pulled into the ambulance bay I could feel her starting to change. Her shallow little breaths were slower. Her heartbeat, the most precious sound in my world, was becoming slower and erratic. She lay limp in my lap, and if it weren't for those few staccato breaths and trembly heartbeats, I'd have thought she was dead. She looked dead.

I started to panic.

"Carlisle, we need to move, she's getting worse," I nearly shouted. Suddenly, he was parked and at the rear door, helping me ease her out of the car. We made sure not to jostle her, in fear of her broken ribs. She made no movement, no sound.

Her thread was fraying.

Wow. What happened to her?

The rush of voices and thoughts that ran around the ER assaulted me and I tried to tune them out. Carlisle helped me rush Bella into the ER. I heard her blood drip to the floor as we half-ran into the waiting area.

An older nurse saw us and shot up out of her chair at the desk and came around corner, looking over the bleeding girl in my arms with a practiced eye. This is worse than I thought.

"Is this Isabella Swan?" she asked. I nodded, unable to find my voice.

"This way." She slapped a button on the wall and a double door flew open, and she marched us past a few treatment rooms and led us to a large one marked Trauma Room 4. She gestured to the gurney in the center of the room and I lay Bella on it. The nurse got on the intercom.

"I need the trauma team to Trauma 4 STAT." She hung up and turned to Bella. "Isabella? Isabella? Can you hear me?"

Nothing. She rubbed Bella's sternum with her knuckles. "Isabella?" Not a sound.

She went into action then. Within a couple of minutes, Bella was hooked up to a heart monitor, blood pressure cuff, pulse oximeter and was about to get stuck with an IV needle.

Her blood pressure's bottoming out…this might be a hard stick…where the hell is the trauma team?!...

All of a sudden, the room was full of people in scrubs. Their assessments and shouted instructions flew though the air, destroying me with each syllable.

…70/40, 56, thready and dropping…

…bleeding from her ear…

…what happened to this kid? …

…get a line in her, get a foley…

…type and screen, CBC, ABGs…

…that must've been some fall…

…looks like she had the crap beat out of her…

…is this an assault? Do I need a rape kit? …

…get radiology on the phone. We need a head CT…

…this was a witnessed fall…

…call the OR to prep for a possible open reduction…

The OR? My God, surgery? Not with her heart so slow, pressure so low. She would never make it…

I was holding her thread so tight, I could almost feel it in my hands.

…70 over palp, she's slipping…

…CT is ready…

I wanted to run to her, touch her. Something was horribly wrong. Her heartbeat, so slow, so weak. A tidal wave of fear crashed over me. My phone went off in my pocket, but I ignored it as I listened to her fragile heart struggle.

And then her frayed little thread broke.

****

The sound of her heartbeat stopped. Her breathing ceased. The sound of her flatline on the monitor ripped right through my chest and speared me to the floor. The silence of her body tore through my senses; my gut was heaving, a wide open hole; my knees buckling…I was aware of myself lurching toward her, but being caught by an iron grip. Carlisle. A resident doctor came up to us and forced us out of the room. I wanted to tear through him. I wanted to go to her…she needed me…!

"Let us care for her…we've got this…let us help her…" he said. I struggled to reach her.

I was dragged out of the trauma room by my father and I slunk against the wall. "Carlisle, help her, oh God, Bella, please," I cried out, choking on the sobs hitching in my throat.

Carlisle's arm was around my shoulders, half soothing, half restraining as we listened to the desperate cadence of the voices behind the door.

…paddles… My phone went off in my pocket.

…clear… Carlisle's phone was going off now. I heard my Bella's body slam against the table. But no heartbeat.

…again. Clear… Again, her body slammed against the table…and then, faint as a whisper, an intake of breath and a thrum. A little, quiet thrum, hesitant and tired, but there.

…we've got sinus rhythm…

…good. Tube her…I latched on to the sound of her heart, my tether to this world.

…lab says type O negative…

…get 2 units in her…

…that's all we've got. I'm calling the blood bank…

…72/46, 60 now, sinus rhythm…

…holding steady…

The incessant ring of a cell phone was finally answered by Carlisle. "Edward. Talk to your sister."

"Edward!" Alice screeched in my ear. "Oh, Edward. She's going to be okay, I've seen it, the worst is over. She's stable now."

"Her heart's beating." My voice was raw. Cracked.

…CT's waiting…

…tolerating transfusion…

…help me cut her jeans off. Watch her leg…

"Edward!" Alice trilled, frustrated. "Are you even listening to me?"

I wasn't, really. The only thing I was listening to was the faint thrum of the heart of the girl I loved, holding on for her, for us.