A Mockery For Your Delight

Chapter One—

Point of View: First Person; Rayne Padara

Location: Rayne's current living situation: a house.

I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock. I roll out of bed quickly, feeling surprisingly alert for all that it's about seven o'clock and in later chapters I won't be nearly as perky when disturbed from my sleep.

On my way out of my room, I decide to stop in front of the full-length mirror on my door and closely examine myself for no apparent reason. I see the same long, dark hair that constantly falls into my sexy blue eyes, and for once doesn't look like a complete and total rat's nest this morning. My skin is unnaturally pale, but I've been told this is somehow attractive. My body is of tall and willowy variety, which is a nice way of saying that I have no boobs.

Also, I'm wearing a pair of baggy, faded gray pajamas. I thought I'd just add that in, you know.

After looking at my (probably hypnotizing) reflection for about a minute, I go downstairs, to where my kitchen is. Gee, I hope there aren't any mice in the Cheerios today.

It must be my lucky day—my cereal is rodent-free. It might seem strange to you that I'm only fourteen but am living in an empty house and haven't been sent to an orphanage or anything, but it's really a perfectly normal way to live. You know—with no adults at all, somehow keeping a minimum-wage as my only cashflow, living on breakfast grains—totally normal and not at all cliché or anything. Especially in the world's current economic situation.

I decided, as I ate, that today was going to be a good day, even though my strange living situation was improbable and besides kinda sucked.

And here is where I insert a cliché (there's that word again) sort of sentence. For example:

"I had no idea how wrong I was."

Even though that really won't make any sense later on when I meet these people and learn some stuff.

But, whatever.

I had no idea how wrong I was.

Point of View: Third Person; outside world

Location: A Small Library (Down and To The Right)

A BRIEF PAUSE.

Now, you may be wondering "Was that a time skip?" or perhaps, "Why, in the name of all that is fruity, are we in a library now?" or something along the lines of, "Why the Frell did I just say 'fruity'? And Frell? What the Frell is a Frell?" (Sorry. Auto-censors. They're a curse.) And I'm just here to explain that I can't explain anything. I just go with The Flow. And jump to the next major plot point whenever I can. Because apparently there's a plot somewhere in here.

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The librarian eyed the tall, slightly emo-looking girl in ratty clothing suspiciously. Kids like her, all dressed in icky faded black like that, were troublemakers and obviously did not come into libraries to read. The librarian liked to glare at anyone who came in, especially the ones who went straight to the magazines or public computers.

She was excited at the chance to glare at someone today, and had almost completed warming up her eyeballs and the skin between her penciled-in eyebrows when a cold, yet strangely hot voice hissed, "Stupefy."

The librarian gasped and slumped over her desk, unconscious.

Oddly enough, none of the other people in the library noticed this. They also didn't the tall man with long pale blonde hair who strode past her. Not even the hormonal teenage girls giggling by the heater noticed this testimony to testosterone. Not even the twenty-eight-year-old man who had recently come out of the closet about being bi and was alternately reading The Joy of Sex and scanning the library for potential life partners from an armchair. Not even him.

The point is, no one noticed sexy Lucius Malfoy enter the library, even though no spell had been cast besides the "Stupefy" that put the librarian in a temporary coma.

Moving on.

Rayne Padara, the emo-looking girl with the emo-sounding name, was going through the How-To Books section. She was getting tired of plain old Cheerios in milk and was looking to put some pizzazz into her very improbably life. Her life became fifty-two percent more improbable when Lucius Malfoy tapped her on the shoulder.

Point of View: First Person; Rayne Padara

Location: A Small Library (Up Your Nose)

When someone touched my shoulder, I automatically whirled around, not really sure what to expect—another truant officer? That creepy gigolo who hung around next to the parking meter by F.A.O. Schwartz like in that one movie I saw one time?

Well, I decided as I stared up into icy gray eyes, this was a really really hot truant officer. Ditto if he was a gigolo, really. Whatever.

Either way, he was insanely hot. And really blonde. And tall. And hot. I wanted to do something like melt in his eyes, or something. Even though that was physically impossible, plus it would probably hurt really bad anyway.

"W- Who are you?" I asked, the book in my hand falling for some reason and thumping quietly against the carpet.

"Lucius." The hot man said in a voice that was, like, a really cold purr. Like, the sound a frozen cat would make, only hotter. Or something. "Lucius Malfoy. And you are Rayne Padara."

I swallowed hard. I was so nervous and hormonal right now that my toes were squidging in my shoes. I wasn't worried or anything about how this guy knew my name. I mean, it's not like he was a pedophile or something.

Trust the toes, Rayne, a tiny voice told me, and I suddenly felt braver, even though I hadn't really been cowardly or anything a few seconds before.

"What do you want with me?" I questioned, leaning back a bit against the bookcase. My toes were still all squidgy. This guy, he, like, oozed pheromones.

"You're a witch, Rayne." He said in a deep, seductive voice that I didn't find at all creepy considering how I was at least ten years younger than him.

Mmm, I like it when he calls me a witch. Makes it sound like a compliment.

"I am?" I murmured, sounding kinda seductive myself. I hope.

Lucius smirked, something I was sure he did often. Just a guess.

"You are. I've come to whisk you away to places you've never heard of."

Was it just me, or was he leaning closer?

Oh, my God, he totally was.

"Places like," he whispered, placing his lips right next to me ear, "Hogwarts."

Yeah, Lucius baby, you can take me wherever you–

Wait.

What's a Hogwarts?

End of Chapter One.