"Yo, Charlie!"

"Aaron, shhhhhh. Shhhhhhh. Daddy's gonna buy you a guitar!"

"Charlie! Dude. You would not believe what just happened."

Actually, I'm pretty sure I would believe it, Hurley, if you'd just shut the--"

"DUDE. SAWYER AND KATE BROKE UP."

"Oh no they didn't."

"I KNOW. Dude, I know. I was just, like, you know, chillin' on my favorite rock a little ways down the beach, when suddenly I hear this weird roaring noise! And I start to turn around, just to, you know, make sure that a wild boar isn't charging at me or anything, and after that--man, that baby cries a lot."

"Get to the BLOODY POINT, Hugo!"

"Right. Sorry, man. So I turn around, but there's no boar, it's just Sawyer, and he's making roaring noises because apparently he stubbed his toe on a 'damn coconut,' and Kate comes over all worried-like. And she says that it's bleeding too much--dude, it was gushing--and that there might be an infection, and he should show Jack, just in case. Then Sawyer tosses his head and says Of course, show Jack, St. Jack will know what to do, 'cause he always does, don't he, Freckles? Only his voice was really sarcastic. And then--"

"Not to interrupt the gripping story, but all this time Sawyer and Kate didn't notice you gawking at them and their little domestic dispute?"

"They were kinda busy."

"Right. So, they broke up because of Jack? Big surprise."

"Kinda. Kate's voice got really high and loud, and she asked him WHAT THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO MEAN, JAMES, and he was all WHAT DO YOU THINK, SWEETCHEEKS, and she slapped him and walked away really fast. And then Sawyer saw me, and I ran over here before he could kill me."

"Man, you got it all wrong. They didn't break up."

"They . . . didn't?"

"No way. They have a fight like this about every other day. Kate's gonna go play golf with Jack now, but by tonight she'll be back with Sawyer."

"Back with the redneck jerk."

"Yep."

"Dammit."

"And Jack will be eating dinner with Juliet, and laughing way too hard at not-funny doctor inside jokes."

"Crap."

"They're all hopeless, I know. Hey, you wanna hold the baby?"