A/N Happy Valentine's Day! Well, okay, I'm a day late. But I thought I'd offer you all a treat and publish my one-shot, wannabe-episode story. I wrote this literally YEARS ago, but decided to type it up and let you guys tell me what you think. It takes place about sixth season of the show, and it's not really anything like my epic story, for any of you readers. So, as usual, don't mind the grammatical mistakes and typos and whatnot, reviews/comments are appreciated, and I'm more than welcome to suggestions. I will edit this soon. And I own nothing, except the story, obviously. I'm not that cool.
Hope you enjoy it anyway. So without further ado…
Stupid Cupid
Act 1
The city of Townsville… a city filled with happy, loving citizens. Happy citizens happily going about their happy, loving lives, sharing their love with flowers, hearts, candies and spa treatments. A city overcome with love and romance, especially on this day of celebration; this celebration of romance, happiness, affection, and inexpensive tokens of love, tokens usually in the form of little cards and stuffed bears holding little plush hearts.
Men and women in relationships, from wooing courtships to old married couples, are celebrating the day.
Smitten teenagers are going on first dates, sharing milkshakes and holding hands at the drive-in.
Even the birds and the bees are getting together, chirping and buzzing happily, lovingly, all in the name of St. Valentine's Day.
Oh, look! Here comes Cupid!
A little man fluttered through the sky looking tired and overworked. He had bristly five-o'clock-shadow, beaten and dilapidated wings, a sack of sharp, heart-shaped arrows, and a chipped, tarnished gold bow. He was lazily shooting arrows left and right, with his drooping eyes staring sleepily ahead.
Go on, Cupid! Shoot those arrows of love! Show the citizens of Townsville what happiness you can bring to the city!
Cupid fluttered away, continuing his mindless shooting into downtown Townsville.
Oh, look! It seems even the children at Pokey Oaks Kindergarten are celebrating the momentous occasion.
The students at Pokey Oaks worked merrily in the classroom, decorating the room with construction paper hearts, cutting out valentines for classmates, and delivering them to friends. Bubbles and Blossom were also in on the fun, the first coloring little pink hearts on one valentine, the other painstakingly counting an enormous pile of them.
"I just have so many!" Blossom exclaimed. The little, pink-eyed, red-haired girl sighed, and calmly put all the valentines in decorated paper bag. "How many did you get, Bubbles?"
"Seventy-two," Bubbles giggled. "What about you, Blossom?"
" Forty-eight," Blossom said, smiling. "What about you, Buttercup?"
Buttercup, on the other hand, was not joining in the festivities. She was a few feet away, building a towering skyscraper with some blocks. She wasn't the least bit interested in the holiday.
"Who cares?" she groaned. "It's just another stupid Hallmark holiday."
"What!" Bubbles gasped. "It is not!"
"Is, too."
"Is not!"
"Is, too!"
"Girls!" Blossom scolded. "Buttercup, what makes you think it's a quote-unquote 'Hallmark holiday?'" Blossom looked at Buttercup curiously. Buttercup sighed and turned around.
"Because," Buttercup began, drawing out the word to demonstrate her undying annoyance. "It is a holiday created by companies to force poor saps into buying gifts for each other, while making other folks cry their eyes out for not having a boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever. It was just another day, but people needed to make money between Christmas and Mother's Day, and so they came up with Valentine's Day, to celebrate love and romance and all that other mushy junk. It's a stupid holiday for stupid people and you guys are stupid for caring about it."
Buttercup snorted and kicked her tower over. Bubbles stared at her aghast, but Blossom simply smiled and eyed Buttercup.
"You might think differently if you actually had a Valentine," she sneered. Buttercup laughed uproariously.
"Who needs a Valentine?" she chuckled. "I don't. I'm absolutely fine without one. And it's not like you guys have one."
"On the contrary, Buttercup…" Blossom started, looking in the direction of their classmate Joey, a somewhat nerdy boy with thick glasses and his nose always in a book.
"Joey!? Joey's not your Valentine!" Buttercup cried. Blossom and Bubbles giggled together.
"He gave me one earlier," Blossom said. "Bubbles has a Valentine, too."
"Nuh uh!" Buttercup retorted.
"Yeah huh!" Bubbles giggled. She looked in the direction of Mike Believe, who caught the girls' eyes and blushed. He waved awkwardly. Blossom and Bubbles giggled even more. Buttercup simply rolled her eyes.
"It doesn't matter. It's stupid anyway."
"I'm telling you, Buttercup, you might think differently if you did have a Valentine," Blossom repeated. Buttercup scuffed.
"I highly doubt it."
Just then, the hotline rang from the corner of the room. Blossom zoomed over in a pink ray of light and answered it.
"Hello?... The Rowdyruff Boys!... Downtown?... We're on it, Mayor!" Blossom hung up the phone. "Come on, girls! Seems the Rowdyruff Boys are causing trouble downtown."
The girls burst through the ceiling and headed towards the city, their baby blue, light pink, and lime green streaks following behind them.
"Hey you rotten brats! Quit throwing eggs at my storefront!" the shopkeeper shouted, shaking his fist angrily.
"Well, if we can't through 'em at your window, I suppose we'll just have to throw them elsewhere," Brick said with a mischievous grin. He and the other Rowdyruff Boys, Boomer and Butch, pelted eggs at the poor shopkeeper, who tried helplessly to dodge them.
"Ten points if you hit the stomach!" Boomer laughed.
"Double if you hit his head!" Butch yelled.
FWOMP!
"Fifty points if you tackle the jerk!"
Buttercup zoomed full-force into Butch, crushing him into the pavement. Blossom and Bubbles followed, slamming into Brick and Boomer. The girls and boys started another one of their massive fights, each of them pairing off with their respective counterpart.
Brick and Blossom shot laser-eye beams at each other, heading towards the center of the city, the beams ricocheting off the reflective windows. Bubbles and Boomer rocketed around each other, punching and kicking each other when they were close enough, heading towards the outskirts of town. Butch and Buttercup wrestled each other in mid-air, scratching, kicking, biting, punching, rolling through the air towards the park.
Little did any of them know, fluttering little Cupid was only yards above them. He was still aimlessly shooting off arrows, several of them coming dangerously close to them, hitting other targets instead.
Suddenly, Buttercup slammed Butch into a grassy hill. She grabbed his wrists and pushed, but his strength matched her own, and they struggled against each other.
"When… will you learn… you're no match for me!?" Buttercup panted.
Butch instantly pushed Buttercup off, and slammed her into the ground, the two now trading spaces in battle. Butch sneered.
"I was made for ya, toots!"
They struggled some more, and they still failed to notice Cupid above them. Cupid hovered dangerously close to them, still shooting, and then—
"YOUCH!"
Butch let go, and Buttercup suddenly had the upper hand. She smashed Butch hard into a great oak tree, splintering the tree into a million pieces. Butch lay on the ground, his eyes shut tight, and arms covering his face helplessly. Buttercup jumped into the air triumphantly.
"Ha! I beat you! Ha ha ha!"
Butch slowly opened his eyes, looking wearily at Buttercup. Buttercup danced through the air, punching and kicking to her own music, waving her arms and shaking her hips. Butch sat up and stared at her in awe.
"Uh-huh! Uh-huh! I win! I'm the best! I'm the best! I'm the—" Buttercup stopped and looked at Butch, his mouth sagging, his eyes wide. "What's your problem?"
"I…I…I…"
"What, can't handle defeat?" Buttercup snickered. Then to her horror, Butch smiled.
"I never realized how beautiful you were." Butch smiled at Buttercup tenderly, his eyes drooping with adoration, his shoulders hanging by the heaviness of his new-founded love.
"Wha-what?" Buttercup stammered, completely confused.
Soon enough, the others were flying by, still battling one another. Blossom saw Butch and Buttercup below.
"What are you doing?!" she cried, shooting another beam at Brick. Brick saw them below, too.
"Kick her butt, Butch!" he called.
"But I like her butt," Butch said dreamily. "I don't want to kick it."
Buttercup gasped, and immediately proceeded to beat the living daylights out of him.
"You – better – not – be – looking – at – my – butt!" Buttercup whammed a monstrous punch into Butch's face… but it didn't destroy his enamored look. Buttercup stopped, and simply glared at him.
"What's gotten into you!?"
Butch just smiled warmly.
"Buttercup, I lo—"
Buttercup screamed and punched him in the face. He fell to the ground, knocked cold. Buttercup hovered about him. She looked at him, filled with disgust and confusion. She barely noticed Bubbles quickly eject herself from the fight and fly next to Buttercup, to see what was up.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"He's crazy, that's what!" Buttercup said. The two watched Butch regain conscience, and raise himself off the ground. He shook his head, rubbed his eyes, and then slowly opened them. He immediately spotted Buttercup, and his expression just melted with infatuation.
"Oh, my!" Bubbles cried. "Blossom! You need to come see this!"
Blossom whizzed over.
"Girls, there's no time for—whoa."
Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup stared at Butch, who stared back. Bubbles and Blossom looked at each other, then at Butch, and saw a small arrow sticking into the back of his pants. They looked at him again, then at Buttercup, then at each other. Their faces slowly lit up, and their bodies began to quake until…
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Bubbles and Blossom floated to the ground, overwhelmed with a painful fit of laughter. Buttercup moaned and kicked the air.
"It's not funny! I don't know what's wrong with him!" she screamed.
"Hey, what's going on?" Brick shouted, zooming over to the scene, closely followed by Boomer.
"Yeah, I thought we were fighting!" Boomer exclaimed.
Buttercup floated to the ground, seething. Blossom and Bubbles were rolling in the grass helplessly. Butch also floated to the ground, not taking his puppy-dog eyes off Buttercup. Brick and Boomer were bewildered.
"What's going on?" Brick demanded.
"Butch!" Blossom squealed, trying to breath through her fits. "Is in love!"
"WHAT?!" Brick and Buttercup roared simultaneously.
"Shot!" Bubbles squeaked, also trying to breath. "With… Cupid's… arrow!"
"You're kidding!" Brick said in disbelief. He flew around Butch, and saw the arrow. He gasped and plucked it out from Butch's bottom. Butch did not even notice.
"Cupid! What's this mean?" he asked. Blossom stood up, regaining some composure.
"It means… that Butch is now completely smitten with Buttercup," she explained, stifling laughter. Bubbles stood up, still emitting giggles occasionally. Buttercup seemed poised to kill.
"You mean… he… likes me?" Buttercup asked menacingly. Blossom and Bubbles took one look at each, and burst into laughter again. Buttercup's eyes narrowed and she turned to Butch.
"You… little…" She shot forward, but was instantly blocked by Brick and Boomer. They stood in front of their brother, protecting him.
"Stop! It's not his fault!" Boomer said.
"Yeah! He's not really in love with a stupid Powerpuff!" Brick said.
"Well, if you just let me knock some sense into him," Buttercup said, holding up a fist. Blossom and Bubbles were finally ready to speak, all the laughs drained from their bodies.
"No, Buttercup. I think you pummeled him enough," Blossom said. "So, I'm not sure if that works."
"I didn't try hard enough!" Buttercup snarled, lunging at him again. Blossom and Bubbles snatched her arms and held her back.
"Look, I think we should find Cupid. Maybe he can straighten this all out," Blossom suggested.
"Yeah, maybe Pinky here is right," Brick said. "We gotta help him."
Blossom pursed her lips, insulted by the name "Pinky," but decided against saying anything. She went into leader-mode instead.
"Okay, well, obviously Cupid's nearby. Spread out and search for him." She turned to Buttercup. "Buttercup, stay and watch Butch."
"No!" Buttercup said. "I can't stay with him. What if he does something?"
"Like what, kiss you?" Bubbles muttered, before she could stop herself. Buttercup shot her a nasty look.
"This is serious!" she said.
"Don't worry about it, Buttercup. I'm sure you can take care of yourself and lover-boy here," Blossom affirmed. Buttercup's blood began to boil, and she gave Blossom a murderous look. Blossom rolled her eyes.
"Fine. Brick? Boomer? Grab Butch and follow us," she commanded. "Bubbles? Buttercup? Fall out!"
The six flew up into the air, Brick and Boomer holding Butch at each arm, and the Powerpuff Girls in their usual V-formation.