Hey....
Guess what? It was four years ago today that I posted my first fic on here. It was for School of Rock and it was crap. Absolutely rubbish. That's why I'm not telling you the name... Ah, memories
Okay, another chapter... These won't be very frequent, because the chapters take a while and I have other crap to write.
Anyway, here we go...
8:17am
Where am I?
I see a ceiling, with a bunch of balloons floating near it. And I'm not sure what it is but there is something digging into my back. And it's not exactly a smooshie pillow. I.e. it bloody hurts... a lot.
I may be forced to get up.
8:20am
Up. Couldn't stand the thing that was denting my spine. Upon inspection, I realise it's a spray bottle.
Figures.
Now where's Carly?
8:22am
A quick sweep of the apartment revealed that she was asleep on her bed. With Jake. I'm trying not to think about what might have happened between them, but how would Carly end up with lipstick on her cheek/nose/forehead?
She did look kind of happy, though, so I tried to leave quietly, but I still managed to trip over on the way out (accidentally falling into Carly's new jeans and t-shirt). Oh well, can't be helped.
So... what do I do now?
8:29am
Walking aimlessly around the place didn't do much to quash my boredom. It just made me realise what a mess this place is in. I'd better leave before Carly spots the mess and makes me help her clean it up.
2 minutes later
Standing in the hall
Not quite sure what to do now.
I could always go and see Freddie; he's only across the hall. If he's up.
Which he won't be.
I just knocked twice.
Is twice enough? Maybe once more.
Okay, three times. Three times is just right in an "I-think-you're-hot-but-don't-want-to-be-anything-more-than-an-occasional-kiss-buddy-because-I-have-Jonah" type way.
Not too desperate, right?
1 minute later
Four times. That's it.
He's answered, looking amused.
'Can't get enough, huh?'
He's so arrogant.
'Ha. I'm bored. Amuse me.'
'You might regret saying that.' He says as he lets me in.
I walk over to his kitchen and help myself to his orange juice.
'So, watcha doing up, Fredward?' I ask, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand after swigging juice straight from the carton.
'I never went to bed,' he says, stealing the juice back from me and gulping from the carton as well. 'That was a heck of a party; I was too hyped up to sleep.'
Weird. In his hot man-voice that actually made sense. 'What are you doing awake?' he asks me.
'I couldn't get a good night's sleep on Carly's kitchen table.' I admit. He raises an eyebrow. 'I don't know how I got there!' I protest.
He chuckles at me then says 'Want some breakfast?'
'What have you got?'
'Pop-tarts.'
'Definitely.'
9:00pm
Ah. I am actually very comfortable. Sitting on Freddie's squashy blue couch stuffing my face with pop-tarts and watching Family Guy. Freddie's sitting next to me, yawning. So much for being too hyped up to sleep.
9:07am
So much for being too hyped up indeed! He's fallen asleep! Total lightweight. He looks good when he's asleep, like, totally relaxed but still laughy.
I take this golden opportunity to pinch his laptop and check my Facebook. Craploads of people have posted pics and videos from last night. There's one video my friend Kevin posted called "Sam and Freddie." Ooer. I click on it, curious.
30 seconds later
It's alright; it's just a vid of me and him talking. Hang on – whoops. I think a loud song must have come on, and we had to lean closer together to hear each other. There's no sound on the vid so it totally looks like we're talking intimately. Again. Ooer.
And – crappier. I can see Jonah coming up behind us in the video, as if to talk to me, but it looks like he's seen me and Freddie talking and walked up, looking pissed off. Whoops...
Then the video finished.
I realise I haven't talked to Jonah since the whole farmer incident last night. I should probably go see him. Freddie won't mind, he's in snoozeland. I'm off.
2 minutes later
Freaky deaky. I was just coming to the door to open it and someone knocked on it. It's Carly, looking panicky.
'Help!' she says. 'Dad just called, he's coming over later, and the place is a mess! Spencer's still at his art convention, he got held up" Get Freddie!' And she leaves, going back into her apartment.
I sigh, knowing I'm stuck.
I pick up a cushion off the armchair and throw it at Freddie's head.
'Yo, sleeping Beauty!' I say. 'Wake up, you're needed.'
He opens his eyes, yawning widely. 'What?'
'Carly's apartment. We have to play Kim and Aggie and help her clean it up.'
He groans but gets up, following me out the door.
9:15am
Bloody hell, this apartment is gonna take forever and a day to clean.
'Where's Jake gone?' I ask Carly as I throw a paper cup into a bin bag.
'He's gone. Something about "people to see" or whatever.' Carly sniffed as she sprayed some cleaning fluid on the coffee table. 'Freddie, Can you get those balloons that are stuck to the ceiling?'
'On it.' Freddie says, but he rolls his eyes. 'Give me a hand, Sam.'
I go over to help him. He's stacked a chair on the table and is motioning for me to get on.
'What? I don't think so.' I say – it looks like a long way down. 'You get up.'
'No, I'm heavier than you. I'd probably collapse it.' He says. 'I'll hold you steady.'
'Just don't let your weedy arms drop me.' I say as I shakily get on.
'Well maybe you could use your oh-so sharp wit to burst the balloons.' He says as he grips the chair.
3 minutes later
Foof. Standing on a chair on a table and trying to get balloons down is harder than it looks.
Freddie's constructed a sort of poking device with a long ruler and a fork that I can use to pop the balloons.
Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop.
It's kinda fun, and it's working, there's only one balloon left. I try to give it an almighty stab but I overbalance and nearly topple off. It was terrifying, but Freddie manages to keep me up. He hops up on to a chair next to the table and steadies me, putting one hand next to my knee and one on my thigh.
I want to kick him away but I feel too shaky, I might fall off again.
As I get rid of the last balloon I can feel his hand drifting up near my behind. I poke that with the fork. Cheeky beggar.
10:39am
Foof. Again. That was a job and a half.
At least the apartment is as clean as two clean things. I can sit down and relax.
5 seconds later
Or not. Carly just turfed me and Freddie out so she can get ready for her dads visit.
Charming.
'So, wanna watch a movie?' Freddie asks as he opens the door to his place.
'No, I think I'm gonna go see Jonah. You should call Carmen. Your girlfriend.'
He smirks at me. 'See you later then. Have fun at Jonahs. I'm sure he really wants to see you, I mean, he definitely looked in a rush to talk to you last night.'
'Huh?' I say, but he's already disappeared.
10:46am
Blimey. I'd forgotten how far it is to Jonah's house. Usually I can beg a lift off someone but today it's only me.
All on my own...
23 minutes later
Ooer...
I just bumped into Carmen. I didn't actually realise it was her until she nearly walked into me, then I had to pretend to be pleased to see her.
Er, I mean, I was pleased to see her. Why wouldn't I be pleased to see Freddie's girlfriend?
Don't answer that.
Anyways, she had a smile on her face that I like to think is real and she was like 'Hi!'
I could tell it was going to be an awkward conversation. 'Hey, Carmen.'
'What's up?'
'I'm going to see Jonah.'
'Cool! I'm going to see Freddie.'
'Oh.' I didn't mean to be rude; I just didn't know what to say.
'Y'know, Freddie talks about you a lot.' She sounded a lot less smiley.
'Oh?'
'Yeah. I don't think he realises he's doing it.' Uh-oh, was that a hint of the stink-eye I see in her face?
'Oh.' Stuck in one word vocabulary world... 'Well, bye...' I leave before she can make me feel any guiltier. Well, I try to leave.
'Sam?' she calls me back.
'Yes?' I half-sigh.
'Do you like Fre- um... never mind... see you around.' She leaves.
Crap. She thinks I like Freddie. I do. No I don't. Never mind.
11:12am
Standing outside Jonah's house. I've knocked three times. Is that enough? Wait, I'm not getting into that whole thing again.
His 19 year old sister answered the door. 'Hey... Sam.' she said. I think she forgot my name.
'Hey Monica. Jonah in?' I ask.
'Yeah, in his room.' She walks off, texting on her cell.
I close the door and go up to Jonah's room. I can't hear anything coming from inside. I knock twice. Nothing. Again. Nothing.
Hmm... Instead of doing the sensible thing and coming back later, I open the door and go inside.
Holy shit.
Jonah.
Jonah on the bed.
Jonah on the bed making out.
Jonah on the bed making out with Jake?
I swear and run away.
11:20am
Flip, flipper and flipping heck.
Jonah, my boyfriend, kissing Carly's... whatever-he-is. That doesn't happen. Except in Hollyoaks.
I run out of the house and down the street. I need to talk to someone... Usually in a situation like this I'd go and see Carly but she's with her dad. I can't exactly burst in and yell, in front of her dad, 'Carly, your new kissing buddy is making out with my boyfriend!'
Her dad would have a fit.
11:25am
So where does that leave me and Jonah? Are we still dating or what? Nothing was said.
I'll go to the park. That will help me think.
11:49am
Or not. All I see is couples. It makes me sick. It should be me and Jonah making people sick, not other people making me sick.
12 noon
And things get worse. Freddie and Carmen have arrived. They look so happy. You wouldn't know Freddie kissed me last night. I mean, he's actually buying her an ice cream. It'd be cute if it weren't so sickening.
12:20pm
That's it. I'm leaving. Freddie and Carmen are wrestling and kissing in the grass. It's so adorable... I want to puke.
Don't worry, that weird feeling in my stomach isn't jealousy, it's... hunger.
I don't care if her dad's there, I'm going to Carly's.
12:30pm
Carly's dad didn't notice e. I think he was arguing with Spencer about an art degree versus a law degree or something like that. So me and Carly are sitting in the studio munching popcorn and watching Madagascar. I haven't mentioned the whole Jake/Jonah thing yet. I don't know if I should.
Ok, I will.
'Carls-'
'I wonder why Jake hasn't called me yet. I mean, did we spend the whole night together, I would have called. What do you think?'
'Carls, um, I've gotta tell you something. Earlier, I went to Jonah's house, and... I saw him and Jake kissing on the bed.'
Carly looks at me for a second, then bursts out laughing.
'Ha, good one Sam!' she says. 'You can't get rid of Jake that easily!'
'Carly, I'm not kidding. It was gross.'
She cocks an eyebrow. 'Is this for real? Like, for real, for real?'
'Honest to blog.'
'Ooer. Do they know you saw them?'
'I swore pretty loudly when I saw them but I didn't talk to them. Are you gonna stab Jake with a pencil or what?'
'I don't know, I mean, he has great hair.'
Per-lease.
'Can we go round to Jonah's? I'll show you.'
'You think they'll still be making out?'
'Well, they seemed pretty into it when I saw them.'
'Alright, let's go.'
1:02pm
Gawd, even under the circumstances Carly won't shut up about how "hot" Jake is. I've just tried to stay quiet in case any of the offensive things I'm thinking make their way from my brain to my mouth.
Anyways, we were about a block from Jonah's house when we see Jonah and Jake sitting on a bench, talking.
'Okay, I say we hide in the bushes over there and watch them until they- hey!'
I was halfway through my sentence when we ran off! She's running up to Jake, squealing 'Jakey!' She leaps on to his lap and starts kissing him. Jonah looks awkward for a moment but then he spots me and comes over.
'Hey, Sam,' he says. He leans in for a snog but I convert it into lip-to-cheek.
'You're cheating on me?' I ask.
'Huh?' he says.
I'm sure he saw me earlier. I shouted "fuck" loud enough.
'I said, are you cheating on me?'
'No, I would never kiss another girl when I'm dating you.'
'I'm not talking about kissing another girl.' I say. 'You were kissing Jake.'
'Was I?' He looks awkward. 'Hey, you know what they say...'
I nod doubtfully as I see his eyes flicker over to Jake. I want to believe him.
I really do.
Another chapter. Woot.
So, it feels like I haven't been on here in ages... what's new with you lot? I did a GCSE... obsessed over a musical... wrote some stuff... argued with some teachers. How are you?
And I'm vair excited about the 10th Georgia Nicolson book coming out soon! It's the last one but it's gonna be marvy. As long as it's GeexDave.
Reviews are love!
Charz
Xoxox