Mother's day

"Doug… Not funny, dude!"

"Yeah, seriously man. We totally warned you last time."

The gang were sitting in their usual booth at MacLaren's. Ted and Marshall looked angry, Robin, openly hostile, Lily, confused and Barney…

Barney just looked shell shocked. All they could get out of him was a low mumble.

"I mean, it was just so unbelievable!" Ted complained to their bartender.

"Yeah, for a start, Barney's Mom's name is Patty, dude. Do your research." Marshall said.

"Muuuuuuuu…" Barney managed. Robin patted his arm.

"And… and… Doctor Grossbard is Barney's shrink, not his regular doctor. We all know that! And Robin hates kids!" Marshall continued.

Robin laughed and Lily kicked her under the table. "What?" Robin said. "I think it was pretty funny."

"Thanks Robin!" Doug said with a pathetic smile.

"Barney, didn't you realise anything was going on?" Robin asked him.

"Nuuuuuuugh…" Barney said.

"Dude!" Marshall glared at Doug. "I think you've given him brain damage! That's not cool, man. Not cool."

Doug looked suitably abashed. "He's not got brain damage. That's not how I work."

"You know, Doug. For an alien, you're a bit of a douche," Ted said, "messing with our minds and our memories all the time!"

Doug shrugged. "I was lonely. I just thought that being Barney's Mom would get be back into your circle, you know."

"Well, you were just creepy as Barney's Mom! You can't keep changing bodies and trying to brainwash people to get them to like you, Doug. You've just got to be nice." Lily said, earnestly.

Marshall and Ted both snorted.

"What?" Lily turned on them.

"Well, we're not friends with each other because we're nice!" Ted snorted.

"Yeah, Barney's not nice!"

"Wuuuuuugh…?"

Robin squeezed Barney's hand. "You okay there, buddy?"

"Ted's kind of pretentious." Marshall agreed, reluctantly.

"No! That was Doug, retcon-ing me!" Ted said. "I'm never that lame."

Marshall chuckled.

"Hey!" Ted frowned. "Did none of you think it was at all suspicious when I suddenly slapped Barney in the face? Twice?"

"Ted, we've all done that." Marshall grinned.

"Mmmmmnnnngh!"

Robin pulled Barney towards him and began to stroke his hair.

"But… Ted might be right, honey." Lily said, giving Robin an odd look.

Marshall gave her a quizzical stare.

"I mean, all those horrible, mean things I said about your Mom! I would never have done anything like that…"

Marshall gave her a kiss on the cheek, saying "I know you wouldn't honey." He missed Lily's guilty grimace.

"What we're basically saying, Doug," Ted said, "is that if you do that again, Marshall is going to rip your alien head off."

"Freakin' A!" Marshall nodded.

Ted sighed.

"That's cool, guys. Thanks for giving me another chance and for being so understanding."

Lily grinned at him. "That's okay, Doug. For some reason, we all just kind of like you."

"Yeah," The others reluctantly agreed.

"No idea why." Marshall commented.

"Mnnnuuuugggh ffffph!" Barney said, as Robin clutched him to her chest.

"Free drinks all night?" Doug said.

"Ah, that's why!" Lily laughed.

When Doug left the table, Ted sat back in his seat and drained his beer. "Weird, huh?"

They all agreed.

"Barney…" Robin said, placing her glass of wine on the table. "What're you doing with your tongue?"

Lily giggled and covered her mouth with her hand.

"Well, looks like everything's back to normal." Marshall said.

"Thank god for that."