Horatio, Friend of Hamlet

"What...exactly is this?" Horatio's eyes were wide and questioning.

"Well, it's a puppy. An enfant of the species Canidae, which includes dogs, wolves, foxes-"

"Yelina, I was actually asking..." He turned. "Why it was sitting on my desk. Nice try, though."

"Ray found him by our house wanted to keep him, but he's allergic and can't be around them for too long. I told him we should take him to the shelter, but he insisted on giving him to you." She explained somewhat apologetically.

"That..." Horatio looked at the puppy's large brown eyes as he wagged his little tail. "Is fine by me."

"Really?" Yelina asked, thoroughly surprised.

"How could anyone say no..." He held the little Norfolk Terrier pup to his face and copied his wide eyed expression. "To this face?"

"I couldn't." Yelina laughed as Horatio's eyes matched the little pup's uncannily. "So you don't mind taking him?"

"Not at all. You and Ray feel free to stop by at any time and visit..." Horatio looked at the puppy, who blinked, and then to Yelina. "Does the little guy have a name?"

"No, I didn't want Ray to name him in case you couldn't take him in. I didn't even check if it was a he." Yelina shrugged.

"It's..." Horatio looked down briefly. "It's a he."

"What do you think?" She asked.

"I think..." Horatio paused. "He looks like Hamlet."

"He looks like who?" Yelina asked, her eyes widening.

"He looks like a Hamlet." Horatio repeated, looking at the pup. "How...would you like that, boy?"

The pup yipped in response to his new master. 'Sure, sounds very cultured. I like it. Was Horatio not a friend of Hamlet? More an antique Roman than a Dane. Besides, you seem nice.'

"I think he likes it." Yelina smiled, rubbing the his head gently. "You like your new name Hamlet?"

Again, the pup barked softly in reply. 'Yeah, I think it suites me, don't you?'

"Oh, you're so cute." Yelina cooed, touching her nose to Hamlet's wet one. She smiled maternally and kissed his nose sweetly.

The pup whined and looked down almost embarrassedly. 'Oh stop it, you're making me blush.'

"We'll be over later to see how you two are doing." Yelina said to Horatio and Hamlet, getting in her car.

"We'll be here."

"Oh! Who's this little cutie?" Calleigh asked excitedly, jumping at the sight of the little dog on Horatio's shoulder. "You know dogs aren't supposed to be carried like that, right?"

"I know, but..." Horatio looked at Hamlet, who tilted his head in response. "He seems to like it up there."

"Is he your puppy or your parrot?" Asked Calleigh.

The pup huffed and touched his paw to his muzzle. 'Excuse me, but I am no filthy, hallow boned foul.'

"Sorry." Calleigh blinked. The dog seemed to accept her apology so she smiled. "What's your name?"

"His name is Hamlet." Horatio answered quickly.

"Oh, you are so cute, Hammy!" Calleigh cooed, scratching him under the chin. "Aren't you? Yes you are!"

"Would you like to hold him, ma'am?" He asked.

"I would love to, Horatio!" The southern belle had swept the terrier off Horatio's shoulder before either of them could even blink. Horatio could only stare as his good friend smothered the pup with love. She nuzzled him and squeezed him like a teddy bear, or rather a stuffed dog. "Oh, who's the cutest puppy in the whole wide world? You are!"

Hamlet let the blond woman hold him next to her soft face gladly, licking her face and inhaling her overwhelming scent of peaches and gun powder. 'Oh, I could get used to this. I like her.'

"Miss Duquesne, I hate to tear you away from your new playmate, but we really must be going." Horatio said, breaking Calleigh from her gushing. She looked up suddenly and blinked, having the grace to look embarrassed.

"Right, I'm sorry. I'll see you later. Bye, Hammy." She waved as the two made their way down the hall, resembling each other more than any other dog could his companion.

Hamlet turned his snout to look at his master. 'I liked her, that...Miss Calleigh Duquesne. Her hair is SO soft and it smells SO good. Like peaches and cream. Her breath was like oreos and spicy noodles, strangely enough, and she has a very nice...soft...um...chest...'

"You liked her..." Horatio turned. "Didn't you, boy?"

Hamlet nodded as much as a dog could, and wagged his tail.

"I'm glad, she's a very good friend of mine and you'll be seeing her quite often." Horatio explained to the dog.

Hamlet nodded again in his brisk way. 'She was nice. She had another scent on her though, salt water. Was she around-?'

"Hey H, who's your friend?" Asked Eric.

"This..." Horatio smiled. "Is Hamlet."

"Hello Hamlet." Eric chuckled, patting the dog on the head.

Hamlet shook his head and wagged his tail. 'Nice to meet you. Say...you smell of salt water and...Miss Calleigh!'

"I think he likes you, Eric." Said Horatio.

"Oh Eric!" Calleigh called, running to them. "Hey, do you have my results?"

"Yeah, right here." Eric opened the file and showed the much shorter Calleigh the fingerprint analysis. She looked at the file intently while Eric's much taller form hovered over her, inches from her creamy blond locks. A faint pink appeared in Calleigh's cheeks.

Hamlet began barking happily. 'These two are exuding pheromones, I can smell them! Her heart's speeding up and he's sniffing her!'

"What's up, Hamlet?" Calleigh smiled, rubbing behind his ears.

Hamlet smiled back at the platinum blond. 'Just your boy friend here.'

"You know, this might sound weird, but I could swear Hamlet's looking at me funny." Eric blinked.

Hamlet blinked as well. 'You treat Miss Calleigh nicely, pal, or you'll be hearin' from every one of my teeth. Don't get me wrong, buddy, you're nice, but you just be good to her.'

"Eric, that's crazy, how could such a sweetie do a thing like that?" Calleigh said in a high pitched voice to the puppy again.

Horatio and Eric simply traded looks and smirks. "Calleigh?"

"Right! I'll see you both later, I gotta run! Bye H, bye Eric, bu-bye Hamlet!" Calleigh called over her shoulder, running to the elevator.

"I..." Horatio began. "Will see you later, Eric."

"Okay H, see ya, Hamlet." Eric waved.

Horatio continued his way down the halls of the lab with Hamlet on his shoulder, sprawled out rather comfortably. "How are you?"

Hamlet barked. 'I'm good, thank you.'

"Good." Horatio smiled. He felt less crazy for understanding the pup than he thought he would. "We have to go see some people, okay?"

'Sure, so long as there are more girls like Miss Calleigh!'

"He's SO cute!" Natalia and Valera gushed, cuddling the pup closely. Natalia cradled him close to her cheek and soft auburn hair.

'Hm, why thank you. You're not too bad yourself, Miss...?'

"Miss Valera, could you please get my DNA results from the lab?" Asked Horatio. She nodded and left, leaving Hamlet in Natalia's arms.

"Oh, who's a cute puppy? You are!" Natalia cooed just as Calleigh did. She let him nuzzle her neck while giggling.

'Oh, Miss Calleigh already told me, but I do enjoy hearing it.'

"Hey guys, who's this?" Ryan asked, going over to Natalia and giving Hamlet a quick pat on the head.

"His name..." Horatio chuckled. "Is Hamlet."

"And he's just a sweetie." Natalia giggled.

"He is pretty cute." Ryan admitted, watching Natalia cuddle little Hammy happily. "Though I kind of envy him, right now."

Hamlet licked Natalia's tan face happily. 'Yeah, I like her too. Miss Natalia...hm...I'll call her Miss Talia. Hey! Pheromone boy. What's your name...Ryan? Yeah! Watch closely and see how a master does it.'

"Oh, yes, yes you are a cutie!" Natalia giggled as Hammy continued to lick her cheeks and neck.

Ryan pouted slightly as the pup was all over Natalia. "Natalia?"

"Hm?" She asked.

"We have to see Frank." Muttered Ryan.

"Oh right. Here, H. Bye Hamlet." Natalia waved, Ryan pulling her out by the hand. She blew the pup a kiss and followed Ryan out.

"You love the attention..." Horatio smirked. "Don't you?"

Hamlet let his pink tongue slide out to answer his question. 'You bet! You've got some really nice females here, you know.'

"You, Hamlet..." Horatio blinked. "Are a flirt."

Hamlet whined. 'So sue me, that pretty Columbian woman brings out the pheromones in you too, buddy. She is beautiful, Miss Yelina.'

"I suppose, boy..." Horatio began to walk away, making Hamlet slip a little farther down the man's back for a moment before clawing his way back up and flopping back on his shoulder. "I suppose."

'I suppose my tail, you love that woman like I love lambchops.'

Horatio lathered his red hair under the hot water, letting the suds from his shampoo run down the drain.

Beside him, Hamlet enjoyed a shower in the other stall, going in circles and opening his mouth for the hot water. His fur was hanging down and his ears were wobbling to-and-fro a little more than normal.

"Um...Horatio?" A nervous woman's voice called.

"Yelina?" Horatio blinked, wiping the soap from his eyes.

"Um...there's a case...can you...?"

"I'll be right out." He called, grabbing a towel.

Hamlet trotted out of his stall casually, stopping to shake himself off. 'Oh, that was nice.'

Horatio dried off his hair and went to his locker. "You ready?"

Hamlet grabbed a towel in his tiny teeth and also toweled himself off. 'You bet! Do I get a gun? Wait...I don't have thumbs. Darn it!'

"Yelina, what..." Horatio removed his sunglasses. "Do we have here?"

"You're not going to believe this." She smiled.

"A cat...stuck in a tree?" Horatio asked.

"A cat...stuck in a tree." Yelina nodded. "Why did we even respond to this call?"

"All the woman said through her hysterics was, 'You have to get my baby!' and then there was a vomiting sound we now assume was her emptying out the litter box." Frank sighed as well.

"Hamlet, perhaps..." Horatio turned to his friend. "You should stay with Miss Yelina."

Hamlet simply shook his head. 'Please, I can control myself.'

"Oh, come here Hamlet." Yelina said happily, taking the little pup anyway and cuddling him.

Hamlet simply gave in. 'Meh...I'm weak...and you smell gooood.'

"Oh this can't end well." Frank muttered, his eyes wide.

"Oh, please be careful, Horatio." Yelina called up to the surprisingly agile man while clutching Hamlet for dear life.

Hamlet whined. 'I'm just as worried, but please, my ribs are cracking!'

"Hamlet's worried about you too!" She burst.

"I'll..." He started as he grabbed another branch. "Be right down."

"I can't watch." Yelina groaned, turning away with Hamlet.

Hamlet kept watching. 'Who would've guessed the man to have so much flexibility in him. Heh, Shakespear.'

"Okay, I got..." Horatio looked down briefly. "Him."

"Are you okay?" Yelina held her breath as he jumped down.

"I..." He smiled. "Am fine."

"Thank god." The cat jumped away as Yelina kissed his cheek.

"Hamlet, I didn't want one from you as well."